Chapter Seven - Goals
- Madeline's POV -
I was well aware of the stares Martin and I were receiving as we walked through the campus. I could feel blood dripping down my leg under my sweatpants, making me feel gross. Just the thought of blood made me want to throw up.
"Do you even know where you're going?" I asked Martin, feeling his eyes on me. I refused to look at him and kept my own eyes ahead of us.
"Yes dummie," he slightly laughed. Suddenly I felt his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. That has never happened to me. Am I supposed to do something? I could feel my face heating up. Being this close to him, the smell of his strong musky cologne filled my nostrils. It smelt good though, so I was not bothered by it.
"We're here," his Dutch-English said happily. I had not even noticed we were near a building yet. It looked like a small office building and that essentially what it was. When we entered we both were greeted by the small girl who checked me in on the first day.
"Can I help you?" The lady said. I just realized I had already forgotten her name. Martin's arm left my shoulder and I was about to speak but he beat me to it.
"She needs to see the nurse," he said leaning on the small counter. I unexpectedly missed his arm around me. It felt like I was safe from everything in that short period of time.
"Third room on the right," the lady smiled at me, not acknowledging Martin any. I muttered a thank you while Martin scuffed. He followed me down the hall to the third room and I saw the nurse sitting at a computer desk. She looked up and smiled. Her eyes flickered to Martin and her smiled dropped a bit. Hm, weird.
"What do you need?" She looked back at me, standing up from her seat.
"I scraped my knee pretty bad," I said walking further into the room. I could sense Martin's eyes behind of me, making myself tense up.
"Let's take a look, sit down," she patted the bed-couch thing. It reminded me of the beds back in the middle school nurse's office. I propped myself up on it, leaning down to pull up my sweatpants. The blood had dripped down my leg, drying slightly.
"Ooh," she said observing the scrape. "Let me go get some more supplies," she stood back up, leaving the room. Which left Martin and I. Alone.
I kept my eyes focused on my hands, knowing that he was watching me. I could not decipher if this was awkward or not. I glanced up at Martin who had his arms crossed across his chest. Suddenly, he picked his feet up, walking towards me. My stomach tightened as he stood in front of me.
His arm extended out to my head, grabbing the elastic holding my hair up. He pulled it down the length of my hair, letting all of it fall free. I looked at him confused and he gave me a smirk.
"I like it better down," he said flinging the hair tie across the room. Nervousness was settling in my stomach now that he was this close to me. My eyes were drawn to his face, the cheekbones, the jawline, he was like a full European package. His eyes traveled down my face, smiling slightly.
"God dammit! I hate it here!" Our eyes immediately went over the door, and I noticed Martin backed away from me, looking paranoid. The voice was a girl, high and whiny.
"Fuck! I need help!" She yelled again, this time I heard her steps coming down the hallway. She stopped at the door, looking at me. It was Martin's hooker, Karlie.
"Do you know where - " She looked over at Martin, an appalled look on her face. "What are you doing here?" I observed her knowing that her shorts were definitely going up places they should not be. She crossed her arms, making her boobs push out of her shirt. Very classy.
"I was helping her," Martin said, not seeming to be bothered by her harsh tone. She looked back over to me, looking down at my leg.
"Can't she help herself?" She rolled her eyes. I can really see where Haley was coming from about her. Is she nice or what? Note the sarcasm.
"Can't you get a better attitude?" Was he defending me? I had to hide my laugh that was bubbling up. Karlie's mouth dropped open, her arms going down to her sides. The tension in the room was starting to build. Why was she staying here, I thought she needed help?
"Guess you won't be seeing me tonight, prick," Karlie spat to him, her eyes then looking back to me. "As for you, stay away," her high voice was now hard and stern. She turned her sandal-covered feet around and left Martin and I trying to comprehend what just happened.
"Your friends with her?" I kept my voice low in case she was still near. Martin's green eyes glared at me, a grimace on his face.
"She can be nice, I'll give her that," he shrugged his shoulders lazily. I was starting to get impatient with the nurse. After all that, it became more awkward in here. Something she said was lingering in my head and my curiosity was getting the best of me.
"What were you guys going to do tonight?" I said looking up to him. He licked his lips and began to walk back towards me. In one movement, his hands grabbed mine and held them down. My breathing hitched as his stare burned into mine.
"Have you ever kissed anybody?" Whoa, what?! I felt helpless as his cologne filled my senses; it was putting me in a trance. It was a smell you would want to cuddle with.
I swallowed. "Uh.. um," All I had to say was no, but I could not do it.
"Hm," he stopped looking at my lips. "Thought so."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "What does that have to do with anything?" His hands were still holding me against the bed.
"Because if you haven't had a kiss, what gives you the right to know what we were going to do tonight?" I looked down from his stare feeling too intimidated. Goosebumps covered my body once again and I knew Martin knew what he was doing to me.
"Fair enough," I said, still keeping my voice low. We both heard shuffling outside the door.
"Okay, I'm back! Sorry you had to wait, I had to help Karlie Strauss right quick," the nurse says, beaming with energy and happiness. Wonder what she really needed? A pregnancy test? Oh my god, do not tell my parents I said that.
*
"Are you sure you're okay?" Haley looked at me with panicked eyes. I rummaged through my drawers to find a pajama set. I pulled out a shirt and pants, satisfied with the choice.
"Yes, I'm okay," I looked over at her. "Just a scrape," I gave her a weak smile. She relaxed and nodded her head. At least I know somebody cares about me here - even if she is half crazy. I am shocked she has not asked about anything else. I am also thankful for that. All of this lying is killing me.
"What are you doing?" I asked her as she was writing something down on a piece of paper.
"Oh," she smiled still writing. "In one of my classes, we have an assignment about change. She wants us to write stuff down about something we want to change. About ourselves or even in nature," I just noticed how small her hands were. Pretty much equivalent to the rest of her frame.
"Hhm," I did not really know what to say. That is interesting, I guess.
"I gonna go take a shower," she stood up and grabbed her Victoria's Secret robe. That place is a store that I am not allowed to even look at. My parents always made sure to keep me 'conservated'. Look where that has got me. Nowhere.
She left the room leaving her paper sitting out. I know I probably should not do this, but once again my curiosity got the best of me. I picked up the paper and my eyes scanned down the page.
Name: Haley Padilla
My Changes
1. Stay out of trouble.
2. Stay away from Martin Garrix and his asshole friends.
3. Don't let boys ruin my life.
4. Help the environment.
Well that was... odd. I am starting to believe maybe Martin and Haley's history is longer than I thought. I have been told that I will find out sooner or later, but hopefully sooner. I feel so oblivious to everyone here. I sometimes do not even feel like I am part of this generation. Speaking of Martin, being around and talking to him has opened my eyes to something. I cannot live the rest of my teenage years the way I am. I sat her paper down and went over to my bible, pulling out the list my father gave me.
I opened it up, feeling aggravated. "No tight clothing, minimal makeup, no drinking, no drugs, no boys," I shook my head as I read it aloud. This is crazy.
As a teenager, I have a right to mess up. Not be a perfect human being. When I was little, I always dreamt of being a daddy's girl. When I got that, I hated it. Always having to live up to expectations, not ruin my parents reputations at the church, it was all hell. My whole life is so ironic it is not even funny.
I quickly grabbed the pen on Haley's bed and started to mark through everything. Beside the crossed out words, I started to write. I remembered to avoid my own morals, although that would not be hard.
Wear what I want.
Wear makeup.
Mess with boys.
Drink.
Experiment.
Have a sexual experience.
Curse More.
Get a tattoo / Pierce my ears.
I felt a sense of relief come over me as I put the pen down. Some of these goals were pretty simple and generic, but a heck of a lot better than my parents morals. My parents are not here to control me. I am now here for music and myself.
Swearing more, wearing better clothes, and wearing makeup all seemed fairly easy to accomplish. but I wondered how I was going to drink. I would not think that finding vodka at a summer camp would be easy.
And fine, you caught me. A preacher's daughter finally admits to her scandalous fantasies. I would not even consider it scandalous, it is what teenagers do.
Was I ready for this change though? My head is screaming yes over and over, but my heart is saying no, not right now. I decided to side with my heart. I folded the paper back up and put it back into the drawer. I closed it, dusting my hands off. Have I officially gone crazy?
Not like I or anyone else will be taking this out anytime soon.
*
Two days have passed since my trip to the nurse. Two days have passed since I met Karlie for the first time. Two days have passed since I wrote down my goals for the summer. Two days have passed since I have talked to Martin.
I was currently making my way over to the table Haley and all of us ate at. I was abruptly stopped by Karlie. I gave her a smile out of my kindness. What does she need now?
"You're Madeline right?" She asked me in a snobby tune. I nodded trying to step away from her. I have no idea what she wants, but I do not want to be a part of it.
"Wait," she put a hand out, further stopping me from walking away. Without warning, I felt liquid all over my chest. Laughter erupted in the cafeteria, making my face turn blood red. Orange juice.
"Karlie, what the fuck!?" I looked to my right to see Martin with an angry look on his face.
"Now you're defending her? Hm, pathetic," the blond haired bimbo strutted away like she was the Queen B. What did I do? I looked at Martin with pleading eyes, wanting him to help me. As of right now, I do not care if Haley and all of them see me with Martin. I need to get out of here.
"Here, come with me," his voice was low. My shirt and chest were starting to get sticky. I followed him outside and the anger took over my body.
"Fucking bitch," the words rolled off my tongue. I looked down at my beige shirt noticing how see through the shirt was now. I heard Martin chuckling.
"That's a first from you," he said still walking slightly in front of me. Why would she just do that? I have talked to her once! That is absolutely ridiculous.
"Martin, where are we going, I need to change," I said now feeling like I was going to cry. This is the worst way to start a Friday.
He looked back at me. "My dorm."
______
A/N I am so sorry this late! This is a lot later than expected, but I hope you liked it! I think Madeline is starting to realize a few things now ;) Leave me a comment and vote for support! Talk to you guys later <3
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