We drove. And drove. And drove. The ride there I went through the list of all the things I had lost.
My home. My brother. Clarke. It was all gone. And for what? Some stupid drug war? It wasn't worth it. Nothing was worth the stabbing pain I felt. I'd rather be killed than feel this. It was worse than torture.
I had never witnessed Liam cry. Even as a child. He was the good one. The other half to the dynamic duo. The yin and yang. He sobbed, cried out her name. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. It was hard to see him like this.
He killed Clarke. I reminded myself. I could never forgive him for that. He removed the one piece of good in this world out of selfishness.
The car gave out in Nebraska. We didn't have much money left.
"We'll stay here, for now. I think we should leave the country at first chance. I can withdrawal some money from my sweetish bank account, but I don't know how much that is." Said my father. I let Tank out to stretch her legs. She wasn't used to being cooped up in a car. She was used to green fields and pastures of cows she could play with.
Tank was the last piece of Clarke I had. She was always energetic and friendly, now she was just exhausted.
We stayed in Nebraska for some time. We all picked up quick field work jobs to make enough money to fly out of here.
Liam returned for Minga's funeral, despite the fact that my father strongly advised him not to. He stayed quiet and snuck in the back to pay his respects to his beloved. I wonder if Minga's parents blamed him for her death. If they did it was not justified. He sent her away, even killed for her. Everything he could do for her he did.
There was no funeral for Clarke to return back to. He had no other family that I knew of. Maybe they informed his mom. Maybe she would arrange something proper for him. I wish I could've went back. I wish I could have helped him. Maybe if I would've shot Liam before he shot Clarke he wouldn't be dead right now.
We stayed in a cheap motel on the edge of town after work. Pets weren't allowed, but we snuck Tank in anyway.
My clothes smelled like farm from stacking hay bails. I sat outside of our room on a cheap, plastic chair. It wobbled. Nova came out and joined me. Mom cut her hair in hopes to make her less identifiable. Where her long blonde ponytail used to be was just hair that hang past her ears.
"How are you doing, Will?"
I said nothing.
"Guess that's a question Liam and I should've asked a long time ago, huh? Doesn't that feel like a lifetime ago. Us doing runs for dad. Us trying to teach you how to use a gun. It doesn't even seem real."
I remained silent, my hands folded.
"He wouldn't have killed him if he had known, I hope you know that." Nova touched my shoulder.
Liam arrived back the next day. My father announced that he had a ride for us out of the county, and we'd be leaving soon.
We packed up the few belongings we gained from being here. Father escorted us to the touch down location of a small plane It looked aged and a bit less safe than I would have liked. The pilot greeted my father as we piled in. I gave Tank a sedative to help her sleep on the long ride.
"Ever been to Austria?" He asked.
"Might wanna learn a bit of German. It's your new home."
We arrived successfully to Austria. The pilot apparently had a drug run in the neighboring country, so he dropped us off there. My father thanked this man and paid him.
We settled in a small town. I've always wanted to travel, but not under these circumstances. We all changed our hair to avoid any possible recognition. We went under aliases that our father helped us forage information for.
My mother wanted to enroll me in school, but I refused. I saved up to live on my own. I couldn't stand to live with Liam. His apologies didn't help. They wouldn't bring Clarke back.
I worked and when I could, I moved away from them. It wasn't far, and my mom called every day. Tank didn't care for the small apartment, but she adapted well.
Clarke came and went, as if he never even existed. A day didn't go by when I didn't think of him. Despite having a new name and life, didn't mean the memories of my past didn't haunt me. My heart ached. I didn't even have pictures of him to remind myself of him. Just the memory of him lies we told ourselves. The lie that we would ever be free.