Amnesia- 5SOS
What's left of me- Nick Lachey
Incomplete- Backstreet boys
California King Bed- Rihanna
Beth's POV
"Don't think about it. Come." His voice isn't so much as a demand as it is as a plead. I take another look at the huge glass windows as the wind smacks against them. I look back at Harry who stares at me knowing that I don't want to stay down here with the old man who sits at the front desk. I start walking slowly behind him and follow him into the elevator.
At first it's quiet and awkward and I feel his eyes on my the entire time. To ease the tension, I take my phone out and dial my mothers number. She answers within seconds and I mentally thank her before he has the chance to ask who I am calling.
"You are indoors right?" She asks, I can already picture her with her hand over he chest as she worries that I haven't called in over twenty minutes.
"Yes, I am fine."
"Okay, the storm is supposed to last all night and most of tomorrow so make sure you-"
"Are you kidding me?!" I say a little too loudly.
My eyes leave the floor and slowly look back up to him. He looks at me with confusion, probably wondering who I am talking to and what I am talking about.
"Did you have plans tomorrow?" She wonders.
"No, I just.." I try to think of an excuse. "I wasn't planning on staying here too long."
"Whys that?"
"Because I just don't, mother." I knew that I shouldn't have even called. A simple text message telling her that I am indoors and safe would have done just fine.
I hear her intake a large breath on the other end.
"I'm sorry-"
"You aren't mad about me and Nathan are you?" She asks as the elevator door opens and Harry walks out before me as I follow him out into the hall.
It's not that I am mad. It's upsetting that whenever I do something it is wrong and against her will but as soon as she does it, she gets it labeled that it's fine and no one can judge her for it. But by all means I guess I am happy for her, does my father know about this?
"I'm not, i'm happy for you." I tell her and we both exchange our goodbyes and I love you's before she tells me to call if I need her for anything.
I put my phone back into my pocket and it's battery it half charged. I decide against asking Harry for a charger, I don't even plan on speaking to him for the night. Or day..however long I'm stuck here.
Once we enter the apartment, memories clutter around me. The couch is the first thing I see, remembering waking up on Harry's nap from falling asleep unknowingly. The bedroom door open, reminding me of all of the regretful intimate moments me shared and the kitchen where we would eat dinner and when he told me about his father.
Was that a lie? No, I know that isn't. That would possibly be the most cruel lie anyone can ever say. Killing your own father isn't something a normal person with a heart would do. But then again, Harry isn't exactly on the level of normal.
I stand awkwardly by the door debating if I should just leave now. It doesn't feel right being in the same room as him..worse being alone.
"You can sit down." He says lowly nodding his head towards the couch.
"I'm fine." I protest and I can almost see him shake his head.
"Are you thirsty? I can-"
"I'm fine." I say a little more harsh than I intended to. "But thanks." I add trying to settle down my harsh tone. He nods and places his keys into the kitchen before going into the bathroom.
I feel like it's getting harder for me to breathe. I don't want to talk to him but I know that some time during this day that I will have no choice. It's just the two of us, in this apartment, trapped because of the stupid storm outside.
Harry comes out of the bathroom with two towels. He hands me one of them and I don't bother to thank him. He turns away and runs the towel roughly through his hair.
"Did you.." He starts but then stops and stares at the wall.
"Did I what?" I ask as I grab my hair to one side and ring it into the towel.
"Tell your mum?..about what happened I mean, does she know?"
Why does this even matter? I know his relationship with my mother isn't all that great but I don't understand what that seems to be on his mind right now.
"Do you think she would let me come back here if she did?" I tell him.
If my mother did know about anything he has done she definitely would forbid me from even being within twenty feet on him. She would have given me and hour long lecture of how she was right and how I need to stop being so naive. She wouldn't even feel sorry for me I bet, she wouldn't comfort me or any of that. She would just continuously tell me how wrong I was for not listening to anyone; herself included.
"That was a pretty stupid question to ask, right?" He says and I shrug my shoulders. I understand he is just trying to ease down the tension that started to build when he entered my car just about twenty minutes ago.
"I just don't know what to say," he admits.
Neither of us do. I don't want to talk to him but then again I do just so I can see the way his lips mold over each word. What..no I don't what am I saying?
I know one thing for sure is that I'm done fighting. I don't want to scream at one another anymore and I don't want him trying to convince me to forgive him. I wish I had the power to let me do that but I can't. I would feel weak and powerless to forgive him in such a small amount of time. It's been two days and it feels like weeks, avoiding wasn't something I had in vision when this "relationship" first started.
"I think,." He begins but then stops.
He looks down at his feet as he looks like he wish he hadn't started to say anything at all.
"You think what?" I ask.
"It's nothing,"
"I'm curious now," I push him to tell me.
"It's nothing...just that I think that the prom is tonight"
Prom? That's what he's wanting to talk about?
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned that." He says. He knows that I wish to be able to attend all of those events.
"In this weather?" I ignore his apology. I look out of the window behind him and it's crazy. It's almost hard to see down below where the cars are parked. It's already starting to flood and the thundering is getting louder by the second. It's almost noon and it almost looks dark outside as the clouds keep rolling in.
"I'm shit at trying to make conversation." Maybe he is, but it's a little better than sitting in awkward silence I suppose. But if we continue to make conversation it'll seem like everything is back to normal. I shouldn't even be here in the same room with him. I should have just stayed in the lobby downstairs. Then again, I'm sure he wouldn't have let me stay down there by myself anyways.
"We shouldn't be talking at all." I tell him and his eyes shoot back up to mine.
"That's what you think. I think that the only way we are going to get past all of this shit is if we talk it out." He leans against the doorway between the kitchen and living room crossing his feet over each other.
"It isn't shit. And no, I don't want to talk," I feel like I've said this a thousand times. He doesn't seem to care how I feel about not wanting to get any more in depth with everything.
"I know you don't." He almost whines. "But how do you possibly expect us to move forward?"
"Move forward?" The towel falls from my hands and I bend down to retrieve it. "Harry, there is no moving forward in this. I don't want any of this in my life anymore I'm sick and tired of all of it."
"What are you saying?" He's trying to keep calm.
"I'm saying that we should just stay away from each other from now on. After the storm is over, I will leave and we will try to live separate lives."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" His voice is still in a low tone. His words are still harsh but I can tell he is trying not to get too angry and lose his temper. "You and I both know that is impossible, Beth."
"It isn't."
"For us it is." He defends.
He's right. I just hate to admit it to myself so I continuously keep telling myself that I can do it.
"Well, I'm going to try at least." I tell him. "But this is only going to work if you stay away from me. I mean it, you can't just come to my house and try to talk to me or something."
"I don't want it to work. So therefore, I will keep trying to talk To you."
"You know, you should be caring about how I want to deal with this. You have no idea how I've been these past two days. It's been hell, alright! You made my life hell and I don't want anything to do with you anymore."
I'm not even sure if I believe myself. I thought of saying them but now that the words are tasted on my tongue it doesn't feel right.
He shakes his head and let's out a small laugh. "That's bullshit, you're just afraid."
"Afraid?" I gave. "I'm not afraid of you." I cross my arms over my chest.
"Not of me, but of yourself. You don't want to let me talk because you're afraid that you'll think you're weak, you don't want to try and forgive me because you don't want to-"
"Stop." He was getting to the point. He's right and I hate to admit it. He stops and I mentally thank him. "Please, I don't want to talk about any of this."
"Well then when?" He pushes himself off of the wall. "We can't just ignore this like it didn't happen!" His voice slightly raises.
"I want to."
"I don't!"
"You don't have a choice in this. I'm the victim here,"
"Fuck, don't you think I know that? You always say how upset and hurt you are but you don't even know what I've been through these past few days."
"I don't care! I hope you feel guilty for what you did, you deserve to feel like crap and you-"
"How can you say that?" His voice is back to it's normal level.
"Because you hurt me." The tears are starting to prickle the corner of my eyes as I try to swallow them. "Shit," I curse under my breath.
The lights flicker and eventually shut off. It's hard To see him, I only see his dark shadow as he stays put. He doesn't move at all but I know he is still looking at me.
"Do we have candles or something?" I hate myself for slipping the word "we" but it's too late to push the words back in.
"I'll get them" he says and he walks into the kitchen. He comes out with a box filled with different scented candles. They're the huge kind that have three placements for the flames in them.
"I'll put three in each room?" I ask and he doesn't bother to nod or so anything. I grab three of them, hoping not to drop either one. I walk into the bedroom slowly being carful not to bump into anything. I finally make my way over to the night stands beside the bed, lighting a candle on that side and one on the other. I then walk across the room to place a candle on the dresser that sits directly across from the bed.
When I turn around the room is filled with an orange glow and the smell of peppermint and vanilla fill the room. The bed is still made which is strange because Harry never makes the bed; has he not been sleeping here?
When I go to retrieve the lighter I notice something laying on the dresser. I get a closer look are notice the picture of Harry and I taped together, it's small pieces almost perfectly put back together. The small cracks are barely noticeable and the picture looks like I have never torn it into pieces in the first place. My heart drops into my stomach and I feel a bit Nauseous. My eyes then scan next to the picture where the familiar purple chained bracelet with the black stone lay right next to it. Why does he even still have this?
I remember when I left the apartment the morning I found out about everything. I remember the pain in my chest that wouldn't go away when I took the bracelet off and placed it onto the door handle. It took a while for the strange feeling of it not being on my fist to go away, it still feels a bit weird but I am becoming much more familiar with the bare feeling. I touch the stone heart and it's cold to the touch.
"I finished with the others." Harry's voice sounds through the quiet room making me jump and the bracelet falls from my fingers and back onto the dresser. He looks over me and walks over slowly. "Sorry," he apologizes.
"You shouldn't have that." I tell him. "And why did you tape that picture back together?" I say after a brief minute of silence. I watch as he places both of the objects into the top dresser drawer on top of his tshirts.
I take in his appearance and see that he has changed his clothes. He wears a pair of sweatpants along with a white t shirt that shows his inked skin under it.
"Harry?" I say when he doesn't answer.
"I put all of the candles in the other rooms. The storm is getting pretty bad and I don't think the lights will be coming on soon." he dodges my question I asked and I don't bother asking him again.
He shuts the dresser drawer rather roughly and leaves me standing next to it. He grabs his phone out of his pocket and plops himself onto the bed.
"You left some clothes here," he says as I make my way to leave the room. I just realized that I am still in my damp clothes. I nod and make my way back over to the dresser, I open each drawer until I find where he put all of the stuff I left here.
I wished I would've taken everything with me the first time but I'm thankful I have some to wear in this situation. I don't need to be wearing his clothes at a time like this.
The last drawer on the bottom right holds everything I left. A pair of shorts, the ones that harry said were way too short for me to be wearing and a light pink tank top lay folded. I take them out and underneath are the sexy looking underwear set that Abby got at the mall for me. I should probably just change into those since everything is wet right now. I take the clothes and go to change in the bathroom.
It's not like they're too sexy. When I pull the underwear up my legs the silky lace feels a lot different from the cotton. The red bra fits perfectly and a tiny bow with a gem sits right in between the cups.
When I finished changing I pull my hair into a ponytail. I'm still trying to get used to the difference in colors but it isn't so bad. It makes my eyes seem a lot darker and my skin a little lighter but I'm surprised of how well it turned out.
When I leave the bathroom harry is sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees and his eyes focused on the blank while wall in front of him. Before I can say anything my phone rings. I pull it out of my back pocket and I notice Abby's name on the screen. I decide to answer the call and walk into the bedroom so I can be alone.
"Abby," I say her name with a small smile on my lips.
I can almost hear her smile through the phone. "You actually picked up."
"I'm sorry, I was an idiot," she begins but I stop her.
"No, no you weren't. I shouldn't make you choose a side, it isn't right." I shake my head even though she can't see me.
"It wasn't that I was choosing a side. I just couldn't choose one. Don't get mad at me but I feel like you both were wrong in some way," she tells me.
She's right.
"I know," I sigh.
She told me multiple times, mostly everyone I know had told me stay away and not get too attached but I pushed everyone away. Do I regret it?..I, I don't think so.
"I'm sorry anyway. I miss you,"
"I miss you too. And I'm sorry too, for ignoring your calls and texts. I didn't want to talk to anyone really."
"I understand. I just hope we're okay now?" Her voice is full of hope.
"Of course." I half laugh.
"I would have apologized in person but this storm is crazy," she says and I walk over to the window to look at the horrible weather.
"It is," I agree with her.
"Welcome to Florida darling," she jokes and I stifle a little laugh.
"Oh, yeah, hurricanes are wonderful." I say sarcastically.
"Just stay inside for tonight, it should be over by tomorrow morning."
"Hopefully,"
"Why? Do you have plans tomorrow?"
Why do people keep asking me that?
"Not exactly,"
"Beth," Harry's voice calls from across the bedroom. I put my hand over the speaker but it's too late when I hear Abby gasp my name on the other end.
"Long story," I whisper and groan. "I'll call you later." I hang up the phone and turn my attention back to the boy who's eyes are drooping and red looking.
"Hungry?" He asks. I shake my head. "Did you eat today?"
"No,"
"Eat something." He says and then leaves the room. For some reason I feel like he didn't want to come in here to ask me if I were hungry but to have me stop talking on the phone.
I follow him out into the living room. I feel extremely uncomfortable here and the tension between us still hasn't died down yet like I hoped it would. It's almost like I'm sitting alone in a room with a complete stranger. It kind of is like that exactly, I barely know him anymore.
The orange glow in the room makes his skin glow and look more tan than it already is. The flames flickering around the entire room gives it more of a romantic feel and I hate it. If things were different and we were together at the moment I would love the scenery.
I watch as he ties the American flag around his head to keep his hair away from his face.
"I can order something?" He says after silence.
I shake my head. "There's a hurricane." I almost want to laugh that he actually thinks people will deliver in this weather but I stop myself. "I'm not hungry," I tell him for the second time.
"Okay," he sits down on the couch and I stand against the wall. "You can sit down."
"I'm fine," being with him is hard enough.
I wish I can sit on the couch and lay on his lap. Let him run his fingers through my hair and kiss my forehead and tell me how much he loves me. I want to be able to live here and wake up with his arm wrapped around me waist. I want to have pizza and sit on the couch and just talk to him. I want him to stop lying to me and being an idiot.
I want to trust him.
I want him.
"why are you acting so weird?" I ask him. Ever since the lights went out he's been weird. I know it's awkward but he's usually talking. Like really talking to me trying to make me listen to him.
He shrugs his shoulders. "Not sure what to say."
I don't know what to say either.
There's another brief moment of silence before he speaks again.
"Can I ask you something?" He says and my heart nearly stops. I nod and bite on my bottom lip. "Without you getting angry?" He adds and I nod even though I'm not sure.
"Have you talked to Adam?"
"No," I simply answer. I turn my head away from him.
I remember when he has tried to call me a couple times but I just wasn't in the mood for anything or anyone. I also didn't like how he practically planned the way Harry would tell me. I understand It was a harsh way and he was wrong for doing it at that time. It was humiliating to have Adam and Abby right there when I found out. But then I think of If Adam didn't even tell me that I'd still be in this apatment with him having him keep his secret hidden away from me forever.
"I really want you to understand that-"
"I told you I don't want to get into this." I stop him.
"No." he stands from the couch and faces me still keeping his distance. "No, i'm not just gunna fucking leave our relatonship like this. I need you."
The aching in my chest is building up again and I feel as thought I am going to throw up on this carpet. He isn't going to be qiet this time, I know it. I dont wan't to talk about this because I know what will happen; I'll believe him and feed into what he'll say and I won't even know if he's lying.
"Please." he begs. without thinking I nod my head slowly and he starts to walk closer towards me.
"no, don't come closer." I say quielty.
"okay, I- I don't know where to start." he rubs his hands on his sweatpants and I shift my body unconfortably and lean against the wall. He needs to start talking soon or I am going to pass out.
"The beginning." I tell him. "The very beginning. From the time you met me until this moment. Everything." He looks a bit frightened as I watch his eyes widen a little.
Harry's POV
"The begninning." She tells me, a little uncertainty behind her quiet voice. "The very beginning. From the time you met me until this moment. Everthing." She repeats and I think of the first time I laid my eyes on her. That dumbass carnival I was practically fucking dragged to.
She rests her head on the wall as she lets her body slide down the wall ad she sits on the floor and brings her knees to her chest.
"do you want to sit on the couch?" I ask her.
"no. Start talking before I change my mind." She says sternly.
I hate how the orange glow from these stupid ass candles makes it almost hard to see her. As dim as it is in here, Her eyes still look bright as they always did.
"the carnival." I say and pause to look how her breathing has changed. "I was with a whole bunch of people. Tiffy being one of them and then some people who like to do nothing but get shit faced. You came running over to us like someone just died or something but you only wanted to give Tiffy her wallet that she dropped. You were wearing that white dress with the little flowers and those old shoes you used to always wear. I immediately knew, or thought, that you were one of those stuck up rich people desperately trying to fit in but you already know that my impression of you is completing opposite now. Then when I saw you in the office at school I knew you were here to stay. I saw you smile and it was like someone slapped me in the face. I hated to know that I had classes with you because I knew that somehow I would want to end up being near you. You didn't even do anything to me and you already had the effect of giving me those weird feelings."
I take a deep breath after a long time of talking. She still holds her legs up to her chest as she looks down at the floor. When she looks up at me I know she is listening and is ready for me to continue.
"And I was still a dick to you after that because I hated the way you were making me feel. I never wanted to have those feelings, commitment scared the shit out of me and I never cared for it. After that day in school I decided thinking of ways to make your life miserable. I hated to see you happy and smile and get everything you wanted. That's when the plan came into place. I planned it all down to perfection and I almost couldn't wait to have it take action. The night at the party, I had second thoughts about it but when I found the tag on that expensive dress of yours It made me decide otherwise. I felt like you needed to see that your life won't always be rainbows and flowers. I had that guy dare you to go upstairs and I took the other set on the opposite side of the house to get into the room before you could. I hid in the closet and waited for everything to happen. I didn't know you were a virgin,"
"What?" She speaks. "How can you not know?"
"I'll answer all of your questions after, okay?, please just let me explain all of this before I forget something." I'll tell her. She nods and puts her head back down.
"I thought that you would just give in and have sex with the guy. But when I saw your face I knew that you didn't want to. He pushed you on the bed and got on top of you and I saw you scrambling under him and I knew that it was going wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen like that and I stood frozen in that closet. I couldn't move, I was in shock that he was actually going to do something like that to you."
Even now, the thought of him, or anyone touching her in any way makes my stomach turn.
"- I still took a couple shots hoping that you would give in or something but when I saw him slap you, I lost it. I pushed through that door without a thought and beat the shit out of him. After that night I hated myself, everyday I hated myself even right now I do. I didn't put those pictures up in the hallway at school, It was part of the plan but I told Tiffy that I didn't want it to happen anymore but she fucking did It anyway. I couldn't bring myself to curse her the fuck out over it because it was my idea but I wish she would have listened to me and not do it. I would get pissed when you would mention those nightmares because it just reminded me of how much of a fuck up I am. I hated seeing you tired and having those dark circles around your eyes. When you told me you haD better sleep when you are with my I thought to myself, how is that even possible? When my mum checked up on you m heart never bested so fast. I felt like I was having a nightmare...But I want you know that I've never been so sorry for something in my life. I hate not having you here with me. It's eating me alive not seeing you everyday with a smile on your face and it kills me to know that you've been crying because of me. I shouldn't be the one making you cry.
She stays quiet when I am finished explaining everything. I don't remember anything else that I had to clear up for her but I'm sure I got it all out. My hands are shaking as I wait for her to respond. After a few seconds she lifts her head up and wipes her face with the back of her hands. I hate when she cries.
She stands from the floor and walks over to me, I move back a little on the couch to give her room to sit down. Is this a start? Her wanting to sit next to me?
She intertwines her hands and sniffles. "I have questions,"
"I'll answer all of them." I tell her and I mean it. I will answer any question that she wants to ask me.
"I won't lie to you again," I add and she keeps her eyes at her hands.
"Why me? I mean, I know you hated to see me happy but there were happy people everywhere."
"It wasn't only that you were happy. I hated the why I felt about you. You had the effect on me. I thought that if your life would turn to shit that you would be miserable, you would leave the school and go back to California or something,"
"I can't believe you hated me that much." She says. She wipes her face again but another tear just falls right after and she doesn't bother this time to catch it.
"I'm sorry," I apologize for the thousandth time. I will keep apologizing until she believes how truly sorry I am.
"I don't understand why you would go so far out to do something like this. You could have just kept your distance from me just as much as I was trying to stay away from you."
"I couldn't. You know I couldn't. I've tried so many times but it was like a magnetic force dragging me closer to you every time. The day your family came to my mums place for dinner and I told you to come upstairs, do you remember that?" She nods. "Do you remember me telling you that I can't stay away from you?"
"Yes, that seems like forever ago."
"I know. But I meant it. I couldn't stay away from you and I still can't."
She stays quiet for a couple more seconds and I wait for her next question.
"Did you really think I wasn't a virgin?"
"Yes"
"How?"
There's no other way to answer that. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"
"You can't just judge that by someone's looks. That doesn't make any sense.."
"I know, Beth." I put my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes and then looking back up at her. When I look back up I see you looking at me, her lips looking red and swollen from her crying and her eyes just the same.
"Was my virginity just a prize?" She squeezes her hands tightly together as her nerves take over.
"No," I answer. "I swear that had nothing to do with anything. I had sex with you because I love you."
She's nods, not really sure if she believes me or not.
"Do you have anymore questions?"
She shakes her head. "Not right now, I can't really think straight." She says as she turns her head from me again. Fuck, I wish she would stop doing that.
A loud boom of thunder makes her jumps back slightly. I wish the fucking lights would come back on.
"I have a question," I tell her. "Well maybe a couple."
"Alright,"
"Can you look at me again please?" I didn't really want this to be a question but the dim lighting doesn't make it any easier. She answers by turning her body and crossing her legs and faces me.
"Do you hate me?" I sound like a little kid but I don't care; I need to know. Ever since she screamed that at me it's been eating me alive.
"I don't know." Oh. "No, no I don't." She corrects herself and I feel like a huge weight has been lifting off of my shoulders.
"You sure?"
"I don't hate you." She repeats. " I'm sorry I said that. I never say that and I really don't like that word. I was angry. But I do hate what you did to me. I hate that you would even think of doing that to anyone."
Beth's POV
"Don't be sorry, baby." He says and I bite down on my bottom lip from his choice of words. "I'm an asshole," he says and i don't answer him.
"So is everything back to the way it was now?"
He didn't just say that did he?
"What?"
"Well, I mean do you forgive me?"
"I don't know-"
"Yes you do." He says quickly after I answer
"No." I say back sternly. "I don't know. I'm not just going to jump into things. I don't even know if I want to forgive you." Small tears are still sliding down my cheeks but I don't bother catching them.
"I just told you that I am sorry. I don't know what else you want me to do."
"I need time." I look away from him but when he speaks again I look back.
"Time? It's been two days!"
"Exactly! Two days. This is all too soon I think that-"
"That's what this is about? You forgiving me to soon?" He asks and he is somewhat right.
I don't want to fully forgive him, I can't. What he did was horrible and I can't forgive him in just the matter of forty eight hours.
"Who cares if it's too soon, Beth. Do you-" he stops and swallows hard. "Do you not love me anymore or something." The cracking of his voice shows the hurt behind his words.
I have never stopped. He should know that but the sound of his voice tells me that he isn't so sure.
"You know I do."
"That's all that matters right? That you love me. I need you, Bethany. You aren't just a want to me, I physically need you here by my side every Fucking day. The world stops when I don't hear you voice. I can't sleep and I can't eat without you next to me the entire time. Please just give me another chance. I will never lie to you or hurt you ever again I swear it"
I see the corners of his eyes starting to water and I know that he is breaking inside. I can't stop myself when I get off of the couch and start walking towards the bedroom. I can't see him break down in front of me. I'm already a mess myself and seeing him become one won't be easy on me
"Don't." He says, his footsteps getting closer to mine and I turn around.
"You really hurt me," the tears are coming out faster now.
"I know, I am so sorry." He brings his hands up to my cheeks and wipes them away. I catch my breath as his finger slide across my skin. The fire building up in my stomach just like the flames next to us. I look up at him, eyes flickering from the candles, he realizes what he is doing and starts to remove his hands.
Harry's POV
"You really hurt me," her voice is slightly higher than normal as I watch her screw her eyes shut as the tears roll faster down her beautiful face.
"I know, I am so sorry." I bring my hands to her face and slide my thumbs over the wet area. I hate seeing her cry, more because it's because of me. I look down at her arms that have already formed those small bumps that always visit when I touch her. It feels like forever since I have and I don't want to let go. When she looks back up at me I immediately pull away.
"I am sorry I shouldn't-" she cuts me off as she leans herself up and grabs me by the back of my neck slamming her mouth onto mine.
Holy fuck.
I want to push her off of me and tell her to stop. I don't want her to think that I'm taking advantage of this moment. Maybe I am? I need her and it's been too fucking long. I've longed for her mouth around mine.
I push her backwards, making us enter the bedroom as she leans down on the bed softly. I climb on top of her just kissing her. Her tongue is soft as she moves it along mine slowly.
"Beth," I finally pull back a little.
"Be quiet," she says and grabs the back of my neck again. She needs this as much as I do. She leans up a little bit and pushes me on the bed and straddles my lap,
Holy fucking shit shit shit.
Her fingers thread through my hair making the bandana I tied around it fall onto the mattress. She moves her mouth to my jaw sending kissing slowly until she reaches my neck and sucks gently on the spot she knows that I love. She doesn't even need to try to be sexy, her mouth in mine alone will make my dick hard in seconds. I grip my hands on her waist as she moves her hips against me.
"Shit," I say under my breath. I know she can feel me getting hard under her and I lift my waist giving her more of the feeling.
She lifts herself back up, pulling her shirt over her head and my eyes widen at the sight in front of me. The candles give the room more of a romantic feeling. It was never something I was into but now, being with her it's so different. This fucking bra she has on just adds to the sensation.
"Fuck, what are you wearing?" I put my hands over the silky lace fabric. I lean back up and hover back over her. "I missed you so much," I kiss along her neck until I reach down to the button of her shorts.
Those fucking shorts.
"Wearing these shorts I see," I tease. She looks down as I unbuckle and pull the zipper down before taken them off. Fuck, matching fucking panties too?
"Dammit Beth, you're killing me here," I groan as I kiss her again. Her fingers tug at the bottom of my shirt and lift back off of her just to take it off before kneeling back down again.
My sweatpants somehow find there way to the floor and I reach my hand down in between her legs. She removes her mouth from mine and look down to where I am touching her. I watch as he eyes widen as she watched my hand slides up and down her and then into circles at that special spot.
"Oh my," she moans quietly.
I ease my hand inside of her thin, yet sexy fucking underwear and watch her eyes roll to the back of her head. I rub over that spot again I know drives her crazy.
"Harry," she breathes out. "More." I give her what she wants and slide a finger into her slowly. I remember when she used to be so clueless of what I would do to her. Now here she is, begging for me to finger her.
No matter how many times I touch her it will feel like the first time. Just now,as my finger slides in and out slowly and watching her jaw open and close from my touch sends thriving chills down my spine.
"Fuck, I missed you so fucking much." I kiss her cheek. "I love you, you trust me don't you?" She yelps and my mouth finds hers again and her kiss is stiff.
"Harry, stop it." I think I hear her say but I'm not sure. My finger is still pumping inside of her as her legs close around them.
"stop it!" She says louder and I pull away fast and she leans herself up against the headboard.
"What's wrong?" She stands from the bed and starts putting her clothes back on.
"What's wrong?!" She screams. "This! This is what's wrong. We can't just do this." She waves to the bed and then at my half naked body. "It's not right." She shakes her head in disappointment.
"I'm sorry I thought you wanted, or needed to-"
"I did." She admits. "But you can't just say stuff like that!" She yells again.
"Say what? That I love you?" I grab my sweatpants off of the floor and pull them on, I don't see my shirt anywhere so I don't even bother.
Noes she fucking upset again. Great.
"You trust me, don't you?" She mocks me and realization hits me. "You can't say that it just.. Forget it." She waves her hand at me and leaves the room.
"Beth, I'm sorry I didn't mean to!." I call out to her but the slamming of the bathroom door tells me she isn't listening anymore. I sit on the couch and wait for her to come out. If she comes out.
"Fuck," I curse to myself. How can I be such a fucking idiot? Just when I thought things were starting to get back on the right track I go and say shit like that. I didn't realize what I was even saying, I was taking in the moment we were sharing together.
I swing my hand at the glass that sits on the table, sending it smashing to the wall. I place my elbows on my knees and rest my head in my hands reminding myself how much of a fucking idiot I am. For everything.
(This chapter literally took me about four hours to write! I wanted to try and make it as perfect as possible and long haha!
Also, most of you have said that you like when I change the POV's throughout the chapter so I will probably keep that going for the remainder of the story! :)
What do you think of the chapter? I really hope you guys are enjoying it :)
Please comment and vote! Ily all💖)