Gavin POV
After that, days were slow, slower than usual. Most of the recent Let's Play's were slow. And I was slow.
Most of the Let's Play's, the next AHWU, all of it.
But it could have just been me that was slow, everyone else seemed to enjoy them.
Right now we were in the middle of the next addition of GO and I was wandering around GTA while everyone laughed and talked behind me.
I hadn't paid much attention to Michael, there was no point. No point in paying attention to a person if they don't pay attention to you anyway.
So I didn't. I didn't even attempt to look at him today.
Which made everything a bit slower.
I watched the small screen in front of me before my eyes wandered toward Michael's desk.
Quickly, I looked back and I happen to drive into a lamppost.
"Darn it."
"What's up Gav?" Geoff said and I could tell he was smiling through his tone of voice.
"I may have drove into a lamp." I said trying to laugh.
"I'm not surprised." Ryan said and I could also tell he was smiling.
After the recording session was over everyone gathered their things and we decided to go get lunch with the exception of Lindsey.
Sadly, even though I have nothing against her, she was here today. And it's like the days she isn't here, Michael cares about me.
But when she is here, I'm just some random guy he has never seen before.
I sat next to him along with Lindsey and Ray by my side.
Geoff, Jack and Ryan sat across from us, seeing we could share a side while the gents had the other.
I sat between a wall and Ray and I was glad I was there. I couldn't see Michael and I couldn't see Lindsey, it worked out for me.
We had gone to some pizza place not too far from the office and as soon as we walked in I could tell the food was going to be good.
That is if I can get my mind away from nonetheless other than Michael.
Everyone had small talk before and after we ordered and I found myself talking to Ray predominantly.
"Gavin, what's wrong." He asked just like our conversation we had the other day.
With the exception of no gaming or editing that is.
"Ray." I muttered.
"You can't hide it Gavin. I know something is wrong. Are you still upset about Michael?"
I looked down at the table below me and I didn't want to answer.
Luckily I didn't have to because all of the numerous pizzas arrived.
Ray and I shared one and Michael and Lindsey did too.
I felt a bit broken by the fact my best friend. Er. Ex best friend, was sharing with a different person.
I felt my jaw slouch a bit with the words ex best friend floating in my head.
When I first met Lindsey I thought she was cool and I never thought I would see her again.
But I was wrong. I should have known if I could see Michael again I might see her again also.
"We will continue this conversation later." He said tilting his head so only I could hear him.
Everyone continued to talk and laugh along with Lindsey including Ray and I sat in the corner with a smile plastered on my face even though I wasn't listening.
My eyes wandered around the table and then my eyes focused on Michael who was smiling.
He was smiling and laughing. He was all giggly and I found it.. Adorable.
The way his face lights up when he sees Lindsey, the way he talks sounds so cheery and I found it adorable.
It was absolutely perfect.
I didn't want to talk to Michael and ruin things with Lindsey for him.
But if I didn't talk to him about the other day I may lose my best friend.
But I already lost him.
I was cut out of my thoughts when Michael's face turned to meet mine and his smile fell into a slight frown.
He wasn't wearing glasses and I could tell his eyes were focused on me.
I felt myself look away trying to break the awkward moment.
"You aren't gonna eat?" Ray asked and I looked down at my plate which was still stuffed with pizza.
"Um. Nah. I'm actually not that hungry. You can have it."
"I'm good Gav, thanks though." He replied and went back to the conversation going on in front of me.
Ray was always nice. He was funny without trying and he was more gentle than any of the other guys at the office.
I was glad to have a friend like him.
But he was my only friend.
Eventually I focused on the talk in front of me and Ryan was suddenly talking about how often I go to the bath room.
"I swear he goes every half hour." He said.
"Actually it's more like every 15 minutes." Geoff said taking a sip of the soda in front of him.
"Trust me I would know, I live with it." He finished and I actually chuckled.
Not a fake chuckle but a real one.
"I do not."
"Yes you do you idiot. You go during almost every Let's Play."
"Not true." I said proudly.
"Well Geoff does have a point." Jack said and Ryan nodded.
It was silent for a bit before I spoke up.
"Uh guys... I have to pee.."
And it was true I did have to use the restroom.
Geoff laughed and Ryan was smirking as Michael, Lindsey and Ray shuffled out of the booth we were sitting in.
The gents did the same and we all stood up.
"We'll meet you in the parking lot." Geoff said heading toward the exit.
"I actually have to go too so I can just take Gavin back to the office." Ray said quickly.
I wanted to slap myself on the fore head because Ray was right, we really were going to continue this conversation.
Geoff agreed to what Ray proclaimed and we both headed toward the back of the small restaurant.
"You don't really have to go do you?" I asked.
"Nope." He said and smiled.
"Well I don't either..." I mumbled
We waited until a few cars pulled out of the parking lot before we both sat down at a booth in the back.
No one was around and it was just us, him sitting across from me.
"Gavin I know you are upset about Michael." He said as we sat down.
"It's not that I'm upset Ray, it's that I don't know what to do anymore."
"Obviously you need to ask him why he was upset a few weeks ago."
"I don't want him to think anything."
That's when I started chipping at the lose wood fragments of the table in front of me.
"Like what?" He asked quietly.
I paused before continuing and I wasn't sure how the words would sound coming out of my mouth.
"I don't want him to think I'm gay."
"Gavin," Ray sighed."He's your best friend and I'm sure he doesn't think that of you. He would do anything for you Gavin and you know that."
"But Ray. If what I said in my sleep is true, then what if I am.."
I didn't have to finish my words before Ray bobbed his head.
"Gavin, if you love Michael you need to talk to him." He said slowly.
"How." I said raising my voice a bit before lowering it back down.
"What if I ruin my friendship. Plus I don't know how I feel about Michael. All I want to know is if my words are true or not."
"And then there's Lindsey. Is that why you have something against her?" He asked.
"I don't have anything against her." I said looking him straight in the eyes.
"Then what do you have?"
"I don't know. That's my problem."
"It's okay bud. Whatever you do or say, I will always be here for you. But as of right now we can continue this at the office, we have been gone a while."
I nodded as we both stood up and walked toward the exit.
He was smiling and I smiled too. I'm glad I could talk to him and get a few things off of my chest.
But I'm really glad that whatever I do, I will have someone there for me.