Chapter Music: "The Hollow Woods" by Derek Fiechter
No... It can't be.
Something doesn't add up here. Orias and Merihem seem to be suggesting that the angels are after me too. But if today is my last day of freedom, wouldn't Astaroth's sacrifice be for naught? He couldn't have chosen to sacrifice himself, to leave my life in the hands of his enemies. If things were to end up like this, another Grey War would be far more preferable.
Of course, we no longer have the luxury of a violent race conflict. Not while Astaroth's well-being is completely up to them. I don't dare imagine the extent of control they have over him.
So did he miscalculate, after all? Had he not anticipated this outcome when he surrendered to them?
This is the only explanation. Orias is right. This really seems like a dead end. A few days after leaving the Academy behind, I'm presented with two options again. But Astaroth is no longer here to offer me freedom this time.
I wanted to believe I ended up in this era for a reason. Have I disappointed the one who brought me here? Have I somehow failed somewhere along the path?
No... It can't be.
"Please, say something," Merihem's pleading voice interrupted my musings.
"...Why?" I stammered, my thoughts not making sense anymore. "I t-thought that... Astaroth... I d-don't want to—"
"Hush now," I heard Orias whisper in my ear. "Let me take care of this."
This sounds nice. I'm tired of planning for nothing.
Seeing my appreciation, he flashed me a gentle smile before whispering again: "I can make your death feel really sweet, you know."
He kissed my hair, sending butterflies to my stomach –even now.
"I can't let you do this!" Merihem interrupted again.
I heard him grunt in pain. I heard shoes slowly being dragged across the floor. He sounded as if he was trying to free himself from Orias's spell. The demon's arms around me twitched.
"Mind your own business, brat," he growled. "This doesn't have to do with you."
"She's my only friend! She doesn't have to die!"
Orias chuckled again. "I still don't understand how Astaroth could stand being around an airhead like you all the time."
"Don't you think it was a little unexpected for the angels to sentence someone innocent? Something's definitely wrong here. There's clearly another way!"
"What is clear is that, once again, you fail to accept the truth you fear."
"That's not it!"
Right then, I felt a touch on my arm.
"Stay the hell away from us!" Orias roared and the touch disappeared.
I heard a loud thump against the room's wall. I turned my head in the direction of the sound to see a crippled Merihem breathing with difficulty.
"Astaroth doesn't make mistakes," he said in a voice I could barely hear.
That seemed to bring the conversation to a halt. Orias said nothing more yet his body felt tense against mine.
Merihem spoke again: "You can't bring yourself to kill her. You know something's not right."
"Alright," the demon admitted, his tone a lot calmer, "let's say I can't kill her. If Astaroth ends up doing it instead, he'll have to live with this forever. And, even if he's strong enough not to drain her, she'll spend the rest of her life in a depressing cell. I can offer her the most peaceful death."
He was right. Dying in the arms of a man I loved didn't seem like a bad way to go. And Astaroth wouldn't have to blame himself.
So, it comes down to choosing my own death, huh. Is there really no other choice? I can't seem to accept truth either.
"Is it really impossible for me to stay hidden?" I finally asked Orias.
His muscles twitched again.
"Since you don't have any powers," he explained reluctantly, "there's a slight chance they'd never find you."
Sensing there was a 'but' there, I remained silent.
"The government would never stop hunting you down," he continued, emphasizing his point. "Once they make a decision, there's no going back. Then, of course, there's the matter of retribution. I suppose they'd consider it fair to balance your absence with a punishment much more brutal for the ones you love."
So, basically, if I were to avoid being caught, Astaroth would be the one to pay for it.
Merihem objected: "Angels can't possibly think like that. Vengeance is the way of demons."
"It is," Orias replied, "as is passion and disorder. But what makes you think that angels enjoy tortures as much as we do? To them, a harsher punishment of loved ones is nothing but bait for the criminal to come forward."
"Are you telling me that they are less empathetic than we are?!" My friend was clearly shaken.
"Goodness, no. They're only sticklers for the rules."
"But in her case, no rules were broken! She's innocent."
Well, technically, I did kill a man. In any case, I'm sure there's no evidence of that anymore. Not that it matters now.
Orias seemed reluctant to answer to my friend. "The representative claimed that making Sophia suffer is part of Astaroth's punishment."
"This is ridiculous! You don't believe this, do you?"
"...Enough with this. Leave us alone."
Something about his tone made me want to peek at his face. I slightly distanced myself from Orias and looked straight into his eyes.
Despite his seemingly peaceful expression, he dropped his gaze. What were his eyes hiding?
Merihem, who apparently was free to move again, walked up to me and surprised me with a quick hug.
"I'll be thinking of you," he said, pulling away, and smiled. "I'm sure you'll make the right choice."
Damn. This is goodbye then, isn't it? I'm not strong enough to smile. I can't even bring myself to speak.
I used my necklace to communicate. "I'll miss you, Merihem," I thought.
Momentarily, his expression contorted as if he was trying to suppress a more genuine emotion. Soon enough, though, he was back to smiling.
"Thanks for everything," I communicated.
"Thank you too," he replied the same way.
Then... he disappeared; leaving me even emptier than before.
I hesitantly turned to look at the only person I had left. Just like Merihem, Orias seemed to be trying to appear calm in front of me.
His hand wrapped itself around mine and, pulling softly, he led me back to bed. Was it really minutes ago I was doubting him? All I could do now was to fight the urge of just closing my eyes and letting him make all the hard decisions I was afraid to deal with. To deliver me to the enemy or to lull me to sleep before draining me. If I was lucky, I wouldn't even feel a thing.
Astaroth had wanted to relieve me of the burden of making difficult decisions. I was certain that his friend was resolved to do the same thing. But if it was up to me, I would never allow this. Because I probably loved them as much as they did.
So, as we lay next to one another, I let him know my decision.
"I... don't want you to kill me, Orias," I finally said. "Dying before seeing Astaroth feels wrong for some reason."
The demon only frowned imperceptibly. However, despite his previous rejection of any other choice, he now seemed surprisingly prepared.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked, his eyes more genuine than I had ever seen them.
Clearly, the choice I am about to make is not a rational one. And it entails leaving the man I love behind. Yet he appears to understand the truth from my perspective.
I lifted my arm and rubbed one of his horns. Feeing the rough surface against my palm was soothing even to me.
Orias closed his eyes and groaned in pleasure. "So you knew this too," he rasped.
Suddenly, a wave or relaxation slowly started spreading across my body, creeping even into the depths of my mind. I knew it was merely an energy transfer but it made my chest lighter, muting concerns that were no longer needed. I had made an informed decision and Orias hadn't tried to keep me from that.
Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for sparing me the pain.
I leaned in and lightly touched my lips to his. He responded immediately by pulling me closer and slowly ran his tongue across my bottom lip. I couldn't help but moan against his mouth before he bit down –more softly than I had expected. It wasn't long before we were locking lips and started exploring each other's mouths, letting emotions expose our true needs.
"Yes," he spoke huskily, slowly breaking away, "this is worth giving it all up for."
What?
Something about his words unsettles me greatly.
"Orias?" I mumbled his name in confusion.
His eyes swiftly traveled from my lips to my eyes and he rested his forehead against mine.
"My hunch about you was never wrong, human," he breathed. "I can see why Astaroth loves you so madly."
His words never failed to make my face heat up and this time was not an exception. However, something was telling me that I had to ignore the shivers that man sent down my spine and force myself to think clearly –not that it was a piece of cake, given the emotion spell I was under.
I'm worth giving it all up for, he said.
And, now that I think of it, Merihem had not hesitated to accuse him of something right before Orias let me know about the government's sentence.
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