I love you more than my own skin.
~Frida Kahlo~
Sophie
*Unedited*
I laid on my back in anticipation of what was to come. Yes, I was scared, beyond scared but I knew as long as Raphael was with me, I would be okay. That did not mean I wouldn't be heartbroken if I was to lose this baby as well, I would be devastated, but it felt good to know Raphael wanted our baby as much as I did. But for now, he and I were about to celebrate the fact that we had made a baby together.
I watched him enter the bedroom, shirtless, a smile lurking at the corner of his mouth, his eyes drooling over me.
I moved to my side of the bed, waiting for him to slid beneath the covers, but he did not, instead, he scooped me up, held me high until my head was above his.
I stared back at him, my eyes eating him up, my love for him beating inside my heart. I was about to start a family with this man, a man I loved beyond reason. His complex and dangerous life couldn't keep me away from him.
"I love you" I whispered.
His arms tightened around me as he looked deeply into my eyes, like he was looking for a treasure.
"I adore you" he whispered back laying me back on the bed, his body following on top of me. His hands skimming my thighs, his heart beating in a loud song beneath my fingers. We stayed like that staring at each other.
"What is on your mind?"
He moved off me but his warm hands pulled me against him.
'Sleep, hmm" I felt his lips on my temple and my mouth opened automatically in shock.
"Sleep?" I asked, wondering if he was joking.
"Yes, sleep"
I wanted to hit him, hard. How could I sleep in a time like this? I just found out I was pregnant for crying out loud, I wanted to make love with the father of my baby and he wanted to what, sleep?"
"You can't be serious?" I drew in a breath, then slowly released it and then hit his arm hard.
He yelped, quickly thrusting himself on top of me, holding my hands down and it felt good, a sensation of feelings went through my body. This is what I wanted, it's what I was craving.
"What was that for?"
"How can you ask that?"
He didn't answer, he just lain on top of me, letting me feel how heavy he was, his feet entwined in mine, his quick breaths felt like the sweetest music to my ear.
Suddenly I could feel how hard he was trying to tear my clothes off, yet he withheld himself and I panicked because he may have been put off by a pregnant woman. Why else was he holding back while he never did before?
"Are you disgusted by my condition?" I spark of anger in his eyes and I gave a little cry as he roughly touched my mouth to his and I muffled sounds as his kiss left me breathless.
I didn't struggle—I did not want to so I yielded to his weight, hands, mouth and body.
I felt soft beneath his hardness, my lips tingled, my body trembled and my heart thundered rhythmically to his.
My legs part, his thighs fit perfectly between then. "Make love to me Raphael" I whispered unashamedly. He instantly stopped kissing me, shifted a little such that his eyes were on the same level with mine.
"That is why you hit me?" I nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me that in the beginning?"
"Because you were being dense. How could you not know I wanted to make love with you after finding out I was pregnant?"
"Making love was the last thing I would have thought you wanted"
"Why?"
"In the wake of what happened the last time you were pregnant, I didn't want to be selfish by wanting to do what I wanted"
"You wanted to make love to me?"
"Immediately I got into the room. I just didn't think you would appreciate it if I jumped you so soon after finding out you were pregnant"
"I will always want you to jump me" I said to him and he kissed me again. This time his kiss was gentler, sensual and the feeling of it sent a million sparks through my entire body. His mouth brushing my cheeks before moving to the corner of my mouth.
Then full into my mouth in a slow kiss, so slow a kiss I felt like crying for the power it held over me.
He slid a strap of the satin sheath I was wearing off my shoulder and moment after I felt his mouth close over one tender peak, savoring it like it was his favorite dish.
I shook both in excitement and sensations that seemed to take over my body.
"You're mine!" He said, pulling my nightie down until I was naked to his eyes.
"Beautiful" his breath hissed through clenched teeth, his hands on my hair, his face look like it was curved out of marble.
"Please let it go" I murmured as I kissed his forehead.
"Go of what?" his confused look could have been amusing if I wasn't so sizzled up.
"Your control" I shouted in frustration.
"If I do, I'm afraid I might hurt you" His eyes pleaded with me, about what I had no idea"
"I'm not made of glass, I won't break...Please Raphael." I begged. And then he was inside me in one quick thrust.
"Yes" I whispered "I want everything you've ever imagined, every fantasy, play it with me" I whispered, staring into his dilated eyes. I felt the war inside of him, his control versus what he thought was good for me.
I moved up, taking away his choice as he thrusting again deeper, filling my body with himself I felt owned, just as must as felt I owned him.
"Remember how you keep saying I'm yours?"
"Yeah"... he sounded like he was choked.
"You're mine" I ordered, curling my arms around his neck as we made love.
For the first time since we started having sex, he made love to me like I was his, like he was sure I was in his house to stay, like finally believed I was his.
I arched my hips, meeting with his thrust and we both fell together.
"You must promise me something" He said, his voice muffled but I still managed to hear him.
"You must promise to never leave me again"
"I promise" I said, my breath still frantic. He lowered his mouth in a lingering kiss and told me to go to sleep.
I did, aware that the first thing in his agenda in the morning would be to take me to a obstetrician.
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