There is nothing prettier in the whole wide world than a girl in love with every breath she takes
~Atticus~
Sophie
*Unedited*
I sat with my arms around my grandmother, my head on her shoulder, enveloped in both her warmth and love and I couldn't believe my mother had walked away from the security and love of two parents.
I never met my grandfather, another thing I had to blame my mother for. If it wasn't her selfishness, he would probably be alive today rather than dead from heartbreak.
"Thank you again for telling me"
I felt her nod and I turned kissing her cheek before getting up and going round to cook some tea.
It was peaceful again, I felt better than I felt at the beginning. Now I knew the worst of my mother, the worst of my parents.
"Do you know why my father hated me so much?"
I asked, my voice devoid of any emotions. I felt nothing for the man I called my father, nothing.
"I don't think he is capable of loving anyone other than himself" My grandmother voiced.
"He has another family" I countered.
"It's probably more for his security than anything else. He has always been very selfish. I think he persuaded your mother to run away because he did not have a family of his own. He didn't want to be alone and he was probably jealous your mother had us and love."
"That makes sense"
I took two cups, filling both, and walking back to sit on the seat opposite my gran who also looked better than she had at the beginning of the story. I wondered whether it was appropriate to categorize it as a story, probably not. But I felt that I shouldn't allow my parents past or their choices to dictate who I was or make my decisions based on theirs.
I was my own person. I was going to make my decision based on who I was.
Over the past one hour or so, each time my grandmother revealed something about my mother or father, I promised to focus on anything I thought might help me to remain unaffected by Raphael's decision, not to worry or imagine or care what his reaction would be to all these or how it might affect our relationship.
But I couldn't forget him saying his own father was worse than both of my parents put together.
That, and the fact that he might already know the worst about my parents gave me hope. Hope that he will still love me the same.
"You're better than your parents. You're not selfish, you always think of others and your love for those around you is unmatched. I wish your grandfather could have met you"
"Would he have loved me?" I asked, my voice weak and uncertain.
"Without a doubt" she declared, a small smile flirting at the corner of her mouth.
"I decided to have this talk before the New Year because I want you to invite your new family" She chuckled as my eyes widened, staring her in shock. "My new family?"
"Yes, those three young men flew down here to be with you."
"Oh. You mean Raphael"
"Yes and the other two"
"They left yesterday and Roman went to Kenya two days ago and we still don't know why"
"We...See? Family is we"
I blushed, nodding in agreement.
We partook our tea in silence focused in our thought. I wondered what was in her mind but I didn't ask, I thought she would tell me if she wanted me to know.
I needed to talk to Raphael so I excused myself leaving her to a second cup of tea and her thoughts.
"I love you" I told her before I disappeared to my bedroom.
Raphael
Standing still, staring at Sophie laughing at something Gabby said, her eyes twinkled, her hair falling in ringlets over her shoulders, holding a glass of red wine. She was probably a little tipsy but I wanted her to have fun, after everything she had learnt about her mother she deserved to let it out of her system and focus on herself. I was there to protect her and protect her I would.
Leo or Aldo as both Sophie and Gabriella like to call him stood directly opposite me with one hand around his shoulder and the other clasping tightly around a bottle of beer. His eyes fixed on Gabby who was seemed to go an extra mile ignoring him.
There was a story there. Though he said he did not know why Gabby suddenly decided he wasn't worthy of breathing the same air as she did, though based on my experience with Sophie; this, whatever it was leaked of another woman.
Women, I had come to realize were as possessive, as proprietorial as men when it came to the men they loved.
I moved towards him making sure I was on Sophie's vicinity and that I stood in her periphery so not to lose sight of her. This was a club and some men thought every woman who was unaccompanied by a male was open for an indecent proposal.
"Why are you sulking?" I asked, smiling as he glared at me but I didn't care. I was happy, excited as I moved my eyes to my woman, intrigued by her beauty like I was every time, picturing her beneath me and our eyes met, her smile enveloping me in every sense of the word. She was mine and it was a good feeling.
"Women!" I heard Leo say.
"What about women?" my voice was raced in humor, enjoying my friend's dilemma. It reminded me of not long ago when Sophie had been as mad and ignoring me as Gabriella was doing at that moment.
"Want my advice?"
Leo turned his face to me, focused his attention on me like I was about to offer gold, which brought me to another realization. Love was a bitch. Yes it was beautiful, but giving your heart to one person and losing control really wasn't something a sane person should want or choose, but it wasn't a choice. Love snuck on you when you least expected it. Suddenly, one day you'll look across your dining table to see this red haired babe in a spice girl imaged tee and realize you're heads over heels in love with her. She would later become the center of your world.
"Whatever it is, tell the truth. Lying has never worked for me"
"Why are you assuming the fault is mine?" He asked, determined without giving an inch. I laughed loudly. "Because it is, and I can confidently go ahead to bet my new jeep wrangler another woman is involved"
"No, no, no!" He contradicted.
"Are you sure? Think hard"
"I swear I have not even flirted with another woman since Gabs allowed me to kiss her for the first time"
"Maybe another woman kissed you" I offered. Suddenly Leo's eyes widened oh son of a bitch
"Another woman did kiss me a couple of weeks ago, it was in jest and we kind had a brief affair"
"Woman hate that their men have a past with other women but what they hate the most is have them engage in anything untoward while they're still sleeping with them"
"But I'm not sleeping with Gabs"
"By Sleeping I mean both actual sleep and sex"
"Fuck! Why do women have to make everything so complicated?" Leo took a step back and then turned his eyes to the woman causing his erratic behavior. "If she saw me kissing another woman why can't she just ask me instead of resulting to such childish antics?"
"She is probably waiting for you to crawl back to her and apologize"
"Then she will be waiting until kingdom come because I won't do it"
"Oh you will" I said, patting his back almost sympathetically " You will, just wait until she starts looking through you or start living her life alone like you died or don't exist."
I felt sorry for him probably because he reminded me of those few weeks Sophie hadn't spoken to me. I thumped him on the back before walking to collect my girl.
"And for the record, where another woman is involved, nothing is in jest. You don't belong to yourself anymore" I didn't wait for a response.
Time to take my babe home
"Time to go home cara" I whispered, leaning to her, taking in the smell of her scent that almost always drove the urge to pin her on the nearest wall and have my way with her.
She smiled at me, covering her face with her hands as she tried unsuccessfully to cover her blush. It was still fascinating to watch her blush after everything we had done together.
"Come one Gabs, we can drop you off on our way home" She dragged Gabriella's hand, walking a step behind me as she talked nonstop in slurs but still sounded sexy.
It was still past midnight, the street of this small town empty except for a few drunkard fellas and few cars driving by as I reversed the car.
We were home few minutes after dropping off Gabriella, Sophie walked to the bathroom I imagined to remove her make up, and I could hear her humming and singing to a dance hall song. I smiled a bit as I listened to her sing out of key.
"You're beautiful" I murmured coming to stand behind her, our image on the bathroom mirror a representation of us. Two people in love with each other. I leaned in and kissed her shoulder, my hands on her waist.
"Whoever that said absence makes the heart grow fonder was absolutely correct. I missed you. Italy was beautiful but boring without you by my side" I turned her slowly, almost in slow motion before bending my lips to hers "Just beautiful" I whispered across her lips.
Nothing could compare with the way I felt about the woman in my arms. My heart beat erratically, my hands trembled a little and my eyes became unfocused "I missed you too" She whispered, burrowing deeper into my neck and her lips softly brushed across my throat like a secret kiss.
My breath hitched, I felt my body shake and I had to fight the urge to lift her and take her to bed. Though it's what we both wanted, I had made a promise to myself never to make love to Sophie while she was tipsy. Whether she knew or consented to it or not, as long as she was drunk, sex was off the table.
"Please" She begged, kissing down my body "I swear I'm not drunk" I chuckled at how much energy she put in trying to speak without slurring "look, I even removed my makeup without your help"
"Good for you but we are still not making love"
Does she know how much I wanted to just carry her to bed and make passionate love to her? How much I craved her? But I couldn't do it while she was intoxicated no matter how much we both wanted it.
I scooped her up and deposited her to our bed, taking time to remove my shoes before drawing the covers aside and joining her. She signed in what sounded like frustration and defeat as she snuggled her bottom against my hip.
"That won't work cara" I warned and I felt her shift, arching her bottom a little bit; like she was drawing very visible and defined battle lines "Are you sure caro?" She asked sultry
"I see you're learning Italian" I said, holding tight into that topic before she could think of literally sitting on my lap which would make my decision really hard.
"I try...She whispered "Though to be honest father José called me—"
"Father José called you?" I interrupted unable to guess why he would not mention it when I went to visit him "When?"
"While you were in Italy"
"He didn't mention it—though you failed to mention it too"
"Was I required to mention it? I'm sorry am I also required to mention that Romano called me yesterday as well?
I got up abruptly switching on the bed lamp before facing her "Romano called you?"
She nodded.
"What the fuck did he say?"
"Stop shouting at me!"
"I'm not shouting at you I'm asking you a damn question"
"Then how about you call him yourself and ask"
"Because I'm asking you" I said, staring down at her
"I'm not telling you a damn thing in that attitude. I'm not one of your men and you can't threaten me or hit me or even shoot me into telling you"
She was right of course. I thought as I watched her get off the bed.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?"
"To sleep in the guest bedroom"
"The hell you are"
"Raphael, do not curse at me again damn it" her mouth tightened as she looked at me her beautiful eyes filled with anger and hurt.
"I'm so sorry cara. Please come to bed." I would have noticed how angry she was the first time she cursed, Sophie hated to curse "I'm really not mad at you, I'm mad at Romano for calling you and not me" I must have sounded venerable because her eyes glowered in love again "Oh babe, have you considered the reason why he called me is because I don't have the ability to convince him to come back or the power to swoop in to wherever he is in your misguided notion to rescue him?"
"I wouldn't do that" I denied vehemently albeit unconvincingly, happy to be wrapped in her arms.
"He called me because he knows I would tell you he is okay. It was his way of passing you a message without having to talk to you. I got the sense that he needs to do whatever he's doing without you or Bruno. He needs to do it alone. Let him"
"I don't like it, but okay." I felt her tears on my cheeks. "Why are you crying?"
She laughed lightly as she kissed my forehead "Because I love you"
"You're crying because you love me? Should I be worried?"
"She chuckled "No you shouldn't"
We stayed like that for a while "Can I send a message to him the next time he calls you?"
"I'm not going to curse at him for you!" she said, climbing back to the bed.
Lucky bastard
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Much ❤❤