Jen's pov
'Tell me your story then'
Jack sighed deeply. 'My wife passed away two years ago. Since then, my life has never been the same.'
'That's terrible! What happened?'
His eyes caught mine, but he quickly looked away. 'She died in a traffic accident.'
He smiled faintly. 'It is still difficult every day, but you learn to deal with it.'
'Did you have children?'
He shook his head. 'No. She was pregnant when she died. "
'I'm sorry, Jack.'
He cleared his throat. 'Shall we continue?'
I grabbed his hand before he could walk away. 'Why are you helping me?'
He looked at me intently. 'To be honest.. I have to tell you something'
I already had a feeling that something was wrong with him. I felt my heart beat in my throat. 'You know something, don't you?'
The nodding of his head was enough reason for me to get angry. 'Where is Colin?'
He shook his head. 'I don't know.'
'What do you know?!' I yelled. He was startled.
'Colin has been kidnapped and is being held, but I don't know where'
I felt a spark of hope in my body. 'So he is not dead?'
'As far as I know he is still alive'
I raised my eyebrow. 'What do you mean 'as far as you know'?'
'I'm not the person behind all this. I would only take care of you'
My eyes widened. 'Take care of me?'
'I had to make sure that you would lose hope and stop searching, but I can't do it anymore.'
It took a while before I could process everything in my head. 'Why would you do that?'
His cheeks flushed red. 'Because I have a crush on you and hoped that I would have a chance with you.'
My hands slid over my belly. 'I'm pregnant, Jack'
Jack took a step closer, but I tried to keep him at bay by taking a step back. 'I didn't know it back then' he murmured.
I felt the tears burning in my eyes.
'Jennifer...' he started, reaching his arms to me. I stepped back and turned around.
'I'm going back to the hotel'
I heard him behind me.
'Alone!' I shouted in tears. I hurried myself out of the forest and tried to walk to the hotel as quickly as possible. I arrived there a few minutes later completely out of breath. Sometimes I forgot that a pregnancy makes your body a wreck. I quickly ran to my room and closed the door before I fell on my bed.
I took my notebook out of my bag. I wanted nothing more than to share my feelings with Colin, but that was not possible. The only way was to write it down and just hope that he could ever read it. I grabbed a pen from my bedside table and moved it over the paper.
'Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up.
But I just can't...
It isn't in my blood...
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing.
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something.
I could take to ease my mind slowly.
Just have a drink and you'll feel better.
Just take someone home and you'll feel beter.
Keep telling me that it gets better.
Does it ever?
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up.
No medicine is strong enough.
Someone help me.
I'm crawling in my skin.
I'm looking through my phone again feeling anxious.
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this.
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe.
Sometimes I feel like giving up.
But I just can't...'
A tear fell on the page. I tried to wipe the others, but they kept coming. I'll be fine one day. Feeling unsure and lost is just a part of my path. I don't have to avoid it. I have to see what those feelings are showing me and I have to use it. I have to take a deep breath. I'll be okay. Even if I don't feel okay all the time. At least that's what they said. Fact is that I'm drowning but nobody sees my struggle.
I stared out of the window and smiled by the sight of the beautiful moon. He always told me that whenever I feel lonely, I just have to look at the moon because someone, somewhere is looking at it too. I just hope we're looking at the same moon right now.
♥♥♥
A/N: The text Jen wrote in this chapter was part of the lyrics from a Shawn Mendes song. I heard it on the radio and it made me think about this story. You can listen the whole song above this chapter. It's such a beautiful song! ❤️
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