Chapter Music: "The Enchanted Princess" by Derek Fiechter
It would be dishonest of me not to admit that I felt like the center of the world most of the time. A lot of people do but only a few of them deserve to believe that. The world from my perspective only had a handful of such 'centers', namely, admirable personalities. I did not believe in concepts like equality or unconditional solidarity. I would often find myself wishing for such a possibility but, unfortunately, it was nothing more than a utopia. People are not equal. They deserve the same opportunities, of course, but their nature is different. And not all kinds of 'different' are equal.
I was unable to accept that someone who unreasonably bullied their peers deserved the same treatment as someone who minded their own business or helped those in need. I could never admire an idiot without critical thinking as much as someone who kept searching for the meaning of life in everything he did, even if that effort was mostly fruitless. I understood that each one of us was born in a different social environment but not all poor people become thieves and not all only children grow spoilt. Either we like it or not, we were all born with several characteristics which the environment cannot erase but fade or enrich, depending on the circumstances.
Of course, beauty, fame, and riches mattered little to me – those were things I neither had nor wanted. And I was definitely not the smartest or the one with the best personality in the world. In fact, I probably wasn't even close to the top. But the population is vast and the number of people I knew very limited. As a result, I had always felt special compared to those around me. Even before my appearance in that foreign academic library, this was the attitude I had adopted. And, although I wasn't yet certain, I had a feeling that this new world wasn't much different in its essence from the previous one.
Thus, it was important for me to keep all of this in mind every time I examined my feelings for someone and vice versa. For a number of reasons, I believed I was special and that was exactly why my image of others depended on their image of me. In this case, if Mr. Astar liked me, that would make me admire him even more. If he didn't, not only would he be one of those pitiful men who make a habit of manipulating others, but he would also be brainless enough not to recognize my value. The more he liked me, the more I would like him back. I couldn't imagine these emotions to be unconditional.
At that moment, the butterflies in my stomach and the almost creepy smile I felt carved on my face were enough to prove my growing feelings for that man. But, more importantly, the basis of such reactions was the admiration and respect I now nurtured for him. I was fond of him partly because I was positive enough that he was fond of me too.
~~~
The next day felt like it was going to be nothing like the previous one. Even though I loved the way I felt around Mr. Astar and everything new he would teach me, I had missed the old days when I stayed at home relaxing and reading an interesting book. Nothing dangerous would happen today and I would do my best to enjoy that freedom. I wanted to talk to Merihem and thank him but I planned to finish my 'homework' first. I still felt a little tired, anyway, and I was hesitant to leave my apartment and start walking around just yet.
After tidying my room and getting a big cup of hot chocolate from the cafeteria I lay down on my bed and wore the ring I had been given. The title of the book was 'Delicate Wings Crushed' and it appeared to be the first one of a series. Just from these words, I could tell that it was probably going to be quite compelling. It wasn't big at all which meant that the author would stick to the point and avoid unnecessary information. I'm intrigued.
The tale was about a princess in a world where peoples were divided into small kingdoms. Her own kingdom was one of the most beautiful yet social inequality was present. Social mobility was nearly unknown to citizens and, hence, each generation was forced to live a destiny which was already written for them. The whole concept was not foreign to me. In fact, it was pretty common among the nations of Earth, especially in the past.
The princess was brought up by two loving yet, sometimes, overprotective parents who never ceased to give her their full attention, in spite of their important duties. But, even if she didn't have the king and queen by her side, she would never feel lonely because she would spend time with her younger sister or her friends, princesses of other kingdoms. She was always told how pretty and kind she was and she was aware of her numerous merits. She felt confident in herself because she could have anything she wanted and her innocence and purity were admired by everyone in the kingdom. Her future was bright and the faith in herself unwavering.
On the day of her eighteenth birthday, the castle held a sublime ceremony where the noblest people of all kingdoms were invited. Kings, dukes, counts, and barons were all there with their families. And, of course, the prince she was destined to marry.
She had seen him a couple of times in the past, once when she was still a little girl and once more as a teenager. She was convinced that this was the man of her dreams since dreams usually became reality for her. He was, naturally, handsome and especially wealthy since his kingdom was even more powerful than hers. The only thing that preoccupied her was that he always appeared somewhat reserved towards her and her family but she thought that this would be normal since he didn't appear to be very sociable in general.
The day of the big ceremony was no exception. In fact, he seemed colder and even more disinterested in the whole celebration. She began worrying even more and kept wondering what kind of sentiment that was. To make things worse, royal weddings were so thoroughly planned that if one of them didn't succeed, it would be difficult to form a new bond. Pairings were predetermined from the day when a noble reached adolescence and it would take time to renegotiate and decide upon a new one. Certainly, the pity and disapproval of commoners would complicate matters even more since the royalty depended on their favor.
Eventually, the prince ended up marrying a maid from the princess's castle who had fascinated him on the day of her eighteenth birthday. She wasn't very beautiful nor talented. But she was smarter than the innocent princess and didn't hesitate to abandon her official duties for a while in order to get to know the prince better.
He was the one who had started chatting with her and discreetly asked if she could find some more time to talk to him. The maid could see that, after some point, the prince had started taking an interest in her and she knew that he wasn't famous for his social skills. He was rather selective and that – along with her strong intuition – was what had made her believe that he was serious about her. That was why she hadn't minded acting unprofessionally for a short period of time. Because if her guess was correct, it would last a lifetime.
When the news officially spread and weren't mere rumors anymore, the princess committed suicide. The citizens' opinion of her, the uncertainty of her future, the breakdown of her innocent view of life, her unfounded love for the prince, everything preoccupied her and left her restless. She was unable to adapt to the new situation due to how little she knew about real life and how frail the faith in herself was. Everything was so perfectly made for her that she had little reason to question matters that didn't directly concern her. And, apart from this, she was pure and innocent by nature.
Naïve and spoilt then, I thought when I finished the book, late in the afternoon. No wonder why the prince was able to adapt to the new circumstances even when he was the cause of this tragedy. He was intelligent and persistent with good reason. Of course, his parents' love and power combined with the strength of his beliefs and arguments were enough to create a proper fairytale for him and his wife.
I took a big breath, feeling a little tired. I had skipped at least one meal. As for my emotional state, I was certain there was a hint of true sadness somewhere inside me. The death of an innocent person is not something to be taken lightly. For sure, the princess wasn't the only one at fault. Her parents held part of the blame for not making sure that their daughter was taught meaningful things except for etiquette.
Nevertheless, this grief inside me was overpowered by the satisfaction I usually felt when meritocracy was applied. The prince was smart and serious about his feelings, as well as the maid he fell in love with. Why should noble people be the only ones to have a chance for happiness? Social status alone is meaningless if someone doesn't deserve it. I was mostly delighted with their happy ending.
As I started wondering what kind of emotions the ring would spot, I glanced down at it and was amazed at the view in front of my eyes. The once transparent Lucite ring had now become full of colors. The dark shade of purple and the bright white and yellow were the first ones that caught my eye. Apart from those, I could also see green and blue in paler shades. So had my emotions been transformed into colors after all? I couldn't wait for tomorrow's lesson so that I could ask Mr. Astar about the results. It had been a long time since I last experienced this kind of feeling, similar to taking an exam: I would offer him a tangible part of my mind.
This wasn't the same, though. There was no reason to be afraid of my own emotions. I was aware enough of what it was that I felt and I trusted that Mr. Astar himself had already suspected a few things. And he liked me for who I was. He did, didn't he?
Click the Vote button if you enjoyed the story :)
Thanks!