^^^^For making me that amazing banner on the side! Thanks hon!!! :D
One of my new friends on here demanded to be acknowledged so: JASON’S AWESOME! ...and a bit of a perv…happy now? :P
James’ POV
I awoke to feel a soft naked body curled up against my side, and a slender arm wrapped around my waist as soft wisps of hair tickled my chin.
Smiling contentedly I breathed in the clean flowery smell from her shampoo and tightened my hold around her.
Last night had possibly been the best night of my life so far, and I could only hope to be lucky enough to have more of them in the future. Everything about it had been perfect. The way she sighed when I caressed her and moaned when I did something she liked. The way she fit against me and how she felt when I was inside her. Just everything… It had never been like that for me.
It had always just been a release with no lasting effects beyond emptiness.
A momentary pleasure that was soon overshadowed by regret… Regret that I couldn’t care less about the person I had done it with, and that was just sad.
Stroking a hand down her smooth back I had to will myself to not wake her up just to have a taste of her all over again. I didn’t want her to think that was all I wanted out of her.
I wanted everything with her.
I could picture us together years from now with children of our own and even further still with us looking upon our first grandchild and bickering over who got to hold him first.
I wasn’t delusional enough to think she could possibly feel the same way though. Why would she? I had nothing to offer her.
I was just starting out in a profession that paid at best decent money and had a handicapped sister to take care of, and who would eventually live with me.
What girl her age wants to deal with all of that?
If she turned on her heel and ran as soon as she woke up I wouldn’t blame her. I would miss her and hate that she had left, but I could never blame her.
After a few more moments of enjoying her by my side I decided I should get up, shower and run to the store to buy some supplies in case she decided to stay.
Inching my way out of her grasp I heard her whimper in her sleep and stopped, noting that the whimpers stopped after she had cuddled against me again and I couldn’t help the goofy grin that stole over my face.
It was a good sign that she wanted me near her while she slept, right?
Then came the second guessing… Maybe she just enjoyed cuddling in her sleep, or maybe she was just cold and my body heat was keeping her warm. Maybe she well and truly just didn’t give a damn about me and just needed to get laid.
I felt my mood plummet as a scowl overtook my face.
Why the hell would she want me near her? I had screwed up enough in the short time we’d known each other that by all rights she should hate me. I hated me.
Forcing myself out of bed I made my way to the bathroom and turned the shower on full blast as hot as I could get it. No worries about needing a cold shower after the thoughts I’d been having. They had quite effectively doused any lingering passion I may have had upon waking.
Shutting off the shower I dried off and wrapped the towel around my waist only now realizing I hadn’t brought in a change of clothes and I wanted to punch myself for being so stupid.
What if she woke up and saw me in just my towel and thought I had done this on purpose? She’d probably be pissed and leave.
Jesus, I’m such an ass.
Creeping back towards the bedroom I peeked in and sighed in relief when I saw she was still sleeping peacefully with one arm now wrapped around the pillow I had been using bringing it up against her face which had a soft smile stretched across it.
My heart started to speed up as I thought of all the things that could mean before yet again dismissing them all. I was really no good for her. I’d only drag her down. Down to the hollow place I resided alone.
Tiptoeing into the room I carefully gathered up my clothes and took them to the bathroom to get dressed, scribbled a quick note to let her know where I’d be, I grabbed my keys and headed to the store.
Hopefully the trip for supplies wouldn’t be in vain and she’d still be here when I returned…
Christy POV
I awoke slowly and buried my nose into the pillow I was currently gripping, breathing in his scent that still lingered upon it and I couldn’t help the warmth that stole through me as I replayed our night in my mind.
Grinning like an idiot and probably bright red from blushing I stretched luxuriously and took note of the room I was in. The walls were a light caramel color and there were a few cheap paintings on the wall and an old fashioned looking dresser pressed up against the wall at the end of the bed that was stained a deep mahogany.
What caught my attention though was the framed picture on top of it; a picture of a young girl with the same light brown hair and piercing blue eyes as James. She was young, probably in her preteens when it was taken… There was so much life in her expression, at the same time though you could see just the tiniest hint of a void in her eyes… Almost as if she was there, but not quite…
I didn’t have a lot of experience with anyone who was mentally challenged in any way beyond a few kids who had went to my high school, but I remember their eyes holding that same vacant quality and felt a pang go through me.
I had never really given them much consideration. It had never involved me directly so it had never really made any sort of impact… No lasting impression except their eyes.
Did that make me a bad person?
Suddenly I really wanted to know about this girl in the picture; the girl who meant so much to James. His little sister.
Tearing my eyes away from it I wrapped myself up in the sheet and tried to make out any sounds that might indicate where James was and couldn’t help the frown that marred my face when the only thing that greeted my ears was silence.
What if he regretted last night? He wouldn’t just leave me here would he?
Grabbing my abandoned clothes from the floor I tossed them on in record time and made my way down the hall to the living room to find it empty. I felt dread course through me and fought to hold it at bay.
I was just being ridiculous. He wouldn’t just leave me at his grandma’s cabin. Who would do that?
It was like, ‘Hey come to my grandma’s cabin, but I don’t think I’m gonna stick around. Peace.’ Yeah… That wasn’t very likely, was it?
Passing through the doorway into the kitchen I scanned the surrounding and saw a notebook lying open on the counter. Curious, I walked over and let out the breath I hadn’t even been aware I’d been holding.
Christy,
Ran to the store for supplies, I’ll be back shortly. Make yourself at home.
James
Okay, so it wasn’t exactly a note declaring his undying love but at least it was something I guess.
Deciding to shower and wash away all of my negative thoughts along with the remainders of last night’s exertions, I made my way to the scary ass basement stairs and headed out to my car to grab my bag, beyond grateful that I had decided to pack one or I would’ve been screwed… So to speak.
Grabbing my bag I made my way back inside and went up the stairs with a death grip on the railing, praying like a mother effer that I made it back up alive and didn’t end up in a bloody heap at the bottom.
When my feet finally hit the solid surface of the floor at the top I almost dropped to my knees and kissed it. I really don’t think I could handle using those stairs again.
Next mission: find another door. There had to be another in this place somewhere…And I would find it.
Forcing myself to move after several moments of standing in the same place like a moron I walked to the bathroom and to take a long hot shower, and pouted slightly when the hot water quickly turned lukewarm.
Turning it off I stepped out to dry off and get dressed, noting the faint sounds of movement beyond the door. I felt my heart rate speed up and my palms go slightly damp. This was the first time seeing him since last night.
After I all but jumped his bones last night that is...
Great, now he probably thought I was some loose slut and I couldn’t even blame him for it. But it had felt so right. Maybe he had felt something too… Even if just a little.
Building up my courage I opened the door and stepped out to be greeted with the smells of eggs cooking and coffee brewing. My mouth began to water as my feet moved without me even being consciously aware of it and before I knew it, I was staring into those crystal blue orbs that were giving nothing away.
I felt my heart sink a bit at his expressionless face and shuffled to the table to take a seat keeping my eyes focused on the floral patterned place mat set out before me. I traced over the different flowers not even sure of what they were, only that they were all that were holding me together at this moment.
“Coffee?” He asked causing me to jump slightly in surprise that he had acknowledged me let alone addressed me.
“Please,” I replied and flinched at how stilted and emotionless it came out.
“What do you want in it?”
“Umm…two spoonful’s of sugar and a bit of milk please.” I could hear him stirring it before a cup appeared before me. Not able to take the awkward tension anymore I forced myself to look at him again. “Are we going to talk about this or just ignore what happened?”
I saw him wince and felt my heart sink even lower. Pretty soon it was going to be in my damn big toe.
“Do you regret it?” I bit out trying to hold back the tears as I held his gaze. I watched him swallow and noticed his Adams apple bob giving testament to how much he didn’t want to discuss this. Hardening my gaze I stood up intent on just walking away. I didn’t need this shit. I didn’t need him. “Never mind, your silence speaks volumes,” I spit out shouldering past his stiff frame.
“No,” He whispered so low I barely heard it. “No,” He said a bit louder inflecting that single word with more strength and resolution. “Just stay. Please just stay.”
I felt my anger slowly drain away as I turned and read the sincerity in his eyes. There was only one way I could respond, “Okay,” I whispered holding his gaze.
I watched as his body slowly relaxed and a genuine smile spread across his handsome face. I couldn’t help but think that it was the first genuine smile I had ever seen from him and felt a fluttering in my stomach as I realized that smile was directed at me.
A jolt surged through me as hope flooded my being. Hope that maybe this could go somewhere after all. That maybe there was a chance for us and suddenly I was looking forward to this weekend and all the possibilities it harbored.
Sorry if this sucked…and it’s a bit of a filler. :/ Between another stupid ear infuction and a bit of writer’s block this was the best I could come up with. I’ll do more on their weekend together in the next chapter, so no worries guys it won’t just be wam bam thank you ma’am deal.
Also I sent a message to fans, but so that everyone knows the cover competition is closed for submitting and is now open to voting. Just like my page on fb under eflagella and you can vote away if you so choose. The polls are also closed with romance being the winner for the watty awards over humor and 2 short uploads twice a week winning out over 1 long upload a week.
Anywho, hope you managed to somewhat enjoy this craptastic chapter and I’ll try to write and upload more ASAP. Love you guys!!! Erin <3