^^^^For the amazing cover on the side! Thanks so much! :)

Christy’s POV

Staring…

That’s all I seemed to be doing.

Staring at the ceiling, counting the cracks webbed across it. Staring at the floor, noting the areas that were worn down and the patterns those areas created… I could have sworn I saw a kangaroo in one and a flamingo in another… And finally staring at the walls that held the pictures that formed my past, reminiscing of better times; easier times when my worries were about simple and mundane things that could be solved with barely a thought.

Amazing how those simple, mundane problems had seemed so consuming and horrible at the time.

Basically, I was accomplishing nothing.

And I was happy with that at the moment. It felt good to just stare and be blank; a blank face, a blank page, a new beginning.

That’s what I kept telling myself at least. I would harden my heart, not let people past the guards that I would enclose it in. Enshroud it in.

My god, I was depressing myself. 

Shaking my head to clear my vision that had gone slightly unfocused causing me to see duplicates and then triplets of the objects around me, I hauled myself to my feet and out of my bed that had become my place of choice. It was like it beckoned me to it like a siren beckons a lonely sailor.

Running my hands down my face dejectedly, I tried to focus on something, anything that would lift my spirits and break me from this awful pity party of one.

I was so pathetic.

Grabbing my phone I scrolled down through my list of contacts hoping to find someone… Anyone who could get me out of this slump.

I stopped as I saw Leslie’s name and feeling a pang in my heart at the way I had left things with her. I was such a bitch.

A selfish cruel bitch.

Hovering my finger over the call button I found myself chickening out at the last moment. Surely it would be better to talk in person than call her over the phone…

As I continued to scroll I saw Ryan’s name pass by but didn’t want to drag him into my professor problems any more than I already had. I was lucky he had forgiven me to begin with and been so understanding… Well, after he got over his initial kneejerk pissed off reaction that is.

Continuing my scroll through the people of my life I felt slightly amazed that I had only two people in my life that I wanted to talk to; who I counted as true friends.  What happened to all those people I socialized with in high school? Surely, I had other friends. Others I had counted on…

I had hit the bottom of my contacts and only two names stuck out.

Sighing in frustration I sucked it up and tossed my phone to the side where it slammed onto my nightstand just as a knock sounded on my bedroom door.

“Christy? Are you okay in there honey? You’ve been home for two days now and we’ve barely seen you,” My mom called through the door and the hesitancy in her voice was enough to break my heart.

I had come home to seek salvation, to burrow in the warmth of being home and loved and I had done nothing to make myself feel better or even make any true effort to be with my parents.

As a matter of fact, I hadn’t made an effort with anything and I’m pretty sure I smelled like ass at the moment.

Groaning and scrunching my nose at myself in disgust, I made myself walk to the door and open it only to see my mom still standing there with a hand poised to knock again and a worried frown marring her otherwise flawless features.

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