Requested by
wanderlust-heart
I get high all the time,
I get drunk out my mind and call you at five in the morning,
And I say what I like,
And I don't like playing nice,
I might pick a fight without warning,
But it gets boring.
I paced around my living room, my brain going out of control. My hands were shaking so I held them trying to get them to stop. I let out a frustrated groan and looked at the table. I grabbed my phone and called y/n. I held it to my ear and tapped my foot up and down. The ringing filled my ears and I was starting to get impatient. Right before it rang for the last time she picked up.
"Hello?" She said sleepily.
"Y/n, hi." I said happy that she actually picked up.
"Sherlock? Why are you calling me?" She asked.
"I want you to come over." I said.
I heard her grunt and then sigh.
"Sherlock it's five o'clock in the morning." She said.
"...So you'll come over?" I asked.
She sighed, "Give me half an hour." She said.
I smiled, "Great! Bye!" I said and hung up.
The next half hour felt way longer than that. But finally she arrived. She trudged up the steps and then entered my flat.
"Why do you want me here?" She asked yawning.
"I wanted company." I stated plain and simple.
"I thought you were working on a case. Chasing a murderer or whatever." She said and flopped down in my chair.
"Hmm? Oh! I was. It got boring." I said.
"Mm." She hummed starting to doze off.
I then started rambling not realizing that she wasn't listening at all. I talked for hours and hours oblivious to the fact that she was asleep. I eventually sighed and walked into the kitchen. I looked around at the huge mess in there and then started shoving things out of the way. I found a needle and took another fix. I walked back in and finally noticed that y/n was sleeping. I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. She looked so beautiful when she slept and it made me feel happy. She started to stir and I looked around. I grabbed a blanket and covered her with it being careful to not wake her up.
I try to keep it cool,
And turn it down for you,
But I'm never gonna change,
And that's why I be saying, boy
You're too good for me,
After about two more hours, y/n opened her eyes and looked around. She was obviously confused trying to figure out where she was but once she saw me she knew. She sat up in my chair and rubbed her eyes tiredly. She stared at the floor, most likely thinking. Meanwhile I was trying to figure out how in the world she slept for so long in my chair. I shrugged the thought off and looked at her.
"What time is it?" She asked stretching as she stood up.
"Nine thirty-two." I answered.
"Wow." She said.
"You were tired." I stated.
"Yeah. What did you do while I was sleeping?" She asked probably remembering how I'd said I wanted company.
"I just talked for hours. I guess I didn't realize you were sleeping." I said and chuckled a bit.
She laughed slightly as well. She walked into the kitchen and pulled out some coffee. She pulled out two mugs and when it was done she handed one to me. I smiled and took it from her hands. I took a sip and hummed in delight.
"Y/n you are the best!" I said.
"I know." She said smiling and hen sat down.
I chuckled and continued to drink my coffee. After she finished hers, she told me she had to go. I was disappointed but I let her.
"Goodbye, y/n." I mumbled even thought she was already gone. "I don't deserve you." I said and closed my eyes tightly.
I took a deep breath and then went along with my day.
But I want, but I want you anyway.
And I know that I don't fit in, but I want, but I want you anyway.
Only you, only me, and that is all I need.
Only you, only me, only you.
Boy, you're too good for me but I want, but I want you anyway.
I felt alone again. Ever since y/n had left there was this empty feeling. I wanted her back already. I wanted it to be just us. Me and her together. But I knew I didn't deserve her. Look at me. I don't even know how she has managed to deal with me for this long. But then again she hasn't dealt with me when I'm high. I was trying so hard to hide that I was drunk earlier and I guess she didn't notice. That provided me with a feeling of relief. I looked at the counter in the kitchen and saw all the empty needles that I had used on myself. I shrugged and walked over to the table where my laptop sat. I turned it on and started scrolling through possible cases, although most of them looked terribly boring. I sighed and stood up.
"I need a cup of tea." I mumbled whilst grabbing a needle.
I don't pick up the phone,
Take an hour or longer,
To write something back when you text me,
Tell you, "Leave me alone"
Need some time on my own,
But as soon as you gone, come and get me,
Oh, baby, come and get me, uh.
A couple days ago I had received a call from y/n and she told me that Mycroft told her I was using again. I hung up on her after she told me that and ignored her when she called or texted. I would pick up the phone to respond to a text but then scoff and set it back down. The one time I had responded I had told her to leave me alone. 'I didn't need her' I thought to myself shrugging.
But the truth is was that I was in deep waters. I was at the bottom of a pit but was still falling. I did need her but I refused to agree to that. I just continued on with my day. My world was crashing down and burning but I just turned my head and walked a different direction.
I try to keep it cool, yeah
And turn it down for you,
But I'm never gonna change,
And that's why I be saying, boy,
You're too good for me,
I went into the kitchen and looked through all my needles. All of them were empty. I couldn't find one with anything in it. I reached for another one but suddenly felt a horrible pain in my head. I sank down to the ground holding my head. The pain was unbearable. I let out a cry of pain and laid down on the floor, passing out.
But I want, but I want you anyway.
And I know that I don't fit in but I want, but I want you anyway.
Only you, only me and that is all that I need.
Only you, only me, only you.
Boy, you're too good for me but I want, but I want you anyway.
You hurried down the sidewalk and pushed past the people in your way. You opened the door to 221B and climbed the stairs. You tried to open the handle to Sherlock's flat but it was locked. You sighed and stepped back a few paces before charging at the door. You hit it with as much effort as you could and luckily it burst open.
"Sherlock!" You screamed immediately after you entered.
You looked around the flat and soon found him lying on the ground in the kitchen.
"Oh, Sherlock." You whispered.
You rushed over to him, kneeling at his side. You grabbed hold of his cold hand and brushed the hair out of his face.
"Sherlock, wake up." You pleaded.
He didn't respond but stayed unconscious. Tears started to pour down your cheeks.
"Please don't leave me." You begged and lowered your head.
You the felt him moving and you looked up. He moaned as he tried to sit up but he fell right back down.
"Sh-Sherlock?" You asked.
"Yes?" He asked wincing slightly.
"Oh, Sherlock you've gone too far this time." You sobbed.
"It's alright. It'll be alright." He said.
"No, you won't be. Sherlock you're so pale, you can't even sit up. Why did you do this?" You asked him.
"Because this is who I am. And I won't ever be able to change. I'm sorry. I don't deserve you." He said closing his eyes.
"Don't talk like that. If anyone should be saying that, it should be me. You're so brilliant and loving and...and I wish I could have been there for you more!" You sobbed.
"Shh. It's okay. You were there for me. And I thank you for that." He said.
You smiled, "I love you Sherlock." You said.
"I love you too, y/n." He said softly.
His grip on your hand loosened and his body fell limp. Your eyes widened and you checked his pulse and if he was breathing.
"No. No, no, no, no, no! NO!!" You screamed.
You tried to apply CPR but it was useless. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you tried to revive your love. You eventually knew he wasn't coming back, not this time and you stopped. You planted a kiss on his forehead and just sat there crying the rest of the night. You lost Sherlock Holmes because he thought that you were too good for him. And that made the pain so much worse.
You're too good for me but I want, but I want you anyway.
And I know that I don't fit in but I want, but I want you anyway,
Only you, only me, and that is all that I need.
Only you, only me, only you.
Boy, you're too good for me but I want, but I want you anyway.