Part 2/4
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Requested by:
@SkyGuysFlick
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Should I start a 5sos Instagram?
Also- from this point on I'm only accepting preference requests from my followers and longterm readers! I'm sorry if this policy somehow upsets you but I really think it's more fair to me and to people who actually read and vote on my stuff if I do their requests over people that comment a request once and are never seen again. Thank you for understanding!
Last Ashton part in the book 😭
Omg I was reading a list of phobias for this and there were some weird ones like FEAR OF THE NUMBER 666? Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia
Ashton:
"Y/NNNN! Y/NNNN WHERE ARE YOUUUU?" Ashton yelled just after you heard the front door open and then promptly slam shut.
"IT'S SO HOOOOOT!" Michael whined.
"It wouldn't be soooo hot if you didn't wear black skinny jeans," Luke pointed out.
"UP HERE!" You giggled, running out from your room so you could peer down the stairs, you welcomed the distraction of your brother and friends to distract you from what you were supposed to be doing.
"You're wearing black skinny jeans too, I don't know what you're talking about, it's fashion what do you want me to wear?" Michael grumbled while you hopped down the stairs to where they were gathered.
"A man-skirt? A mirt?" Calum suggested.
"Dirty mirt!" Luke wiggled his eyebrows, while swinging his hips like he was wearing a mirt.
"Flirty, dirty, squirty mirt," Ashton butted in. You narrowed your eyes, trying to think of more words but 'mirt' just wasn't that rhymable. You'd have to find something else.
"CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR IMITATIONS ARE TAKING OVER THE RADIO STATIONS! CORPORATIONS! CALCULATIONS! WE'RE THE VOICE OF THE NEW GENERATION!" You sang over them.
"She wins," Luke nodded at you, looking rather proud.
"Nah nah, na na na na na," Michael hummed.
"So Y/N," Ashton stopped whatever rhyming game or possible Permanent Vacation singalong that had been brewing, "what were you doing while we were gone?"
Your mood soured at his words. You didn't want to think about it, even though you really should be.
"Homework," you mumbled under your breath.
"Huh? Homewrecker? What?" Calum raised his eyebrows, "WHAT WAS GOING ON IN HERE?"
"HOOOOMEWORRRRK!" You enunciated more clearly as the other three boys began to snicker, "Not homewrecker you pervert."
"Hmph," Calum rolled his eyes.
"What kind of homework?" Michael asked, sending the bassist an amused glance.
"English, we were assigned topics that we have to make a speech about," you said dryly. You hated public speaking with every atom in your body. Just thinking about having to present in front of a group of your peers for five whole minutes made your blood pressure rise.
Ashton looked at you sympathetically, "how long does the speech have to be?"
"Five minutes," you replied dully.
He let out a low whistle, "wow, I'm sorry Y/N."
"I just don't know what I'm going to do! I got the worst topic and I'm AWFUL at public speaking! I'm going to get a bad grade!" You began to panic again. Your breathing hitched and your palms grew sweaty, all that was running through your mind were the inevitable jeers and laughter by your classmates as you bombed your presentation.
"Cheer up, we'll help you! Our careers are basically public speaking anyway!" Ashton smiled.
"We will?" Luke looked over at him.
"They are?" Michael did the same.
"Yes," Ashton set his jaw, trying to maintain a cheery eye contact with you while elbowing two of his bandmates.
"Oh yeah I mean of COURSE WE WILL!" Luke overcorrected himself, bending down to send you an awkward thumbs-up.
"And our careers are tooootally just like public speaking! We're excellent public speakers! Orating is my passion," Michael gushed under Ashton's hard glare.
"Really?!" You looked between the four faces eagerly. You had no doubt that they could help you with your irrational fear, after all, pleasing large crowds of teenagers were in their job descriptions.
"Orator sounds dirty," Calum said, rather off topic. It was his turn for a sharp elbow to the ribs, "owwww- I mean yes really!" His tone went right from hurt to enthusiastic, the sharp jump made you flinch a little in surprise. Calum noticed, "sorry."
"So, what's the topic?" Michael rubbed his hands together in concentration.
"Legalizing Marijuana," you informed him. You hadn't chosen that topic, your teacher had assigned it to you rather enthusiastically.
"Well I mean I like po-" Ashton glared at Calum again, "I mean, as a teenager I'm sure that amongst your peer group it would make more sense for your speech to be pro-legalization of recreational marijuana," he finished far more eloquently.
"Yeah, I just, ugh I always freeze up when I feel so many people looking at me, I don't know if I can do it," you shivered involuntarily.
"Oh Y/N you'll do great! What are your key arguments?" As soon as Ashton started trying to give you productive advice Luke interrupted him.
"-just imagine everyone in their underwear! You can't be scared of someone in their underwear!" He chirped happily.
"I'd rather not," you grimaced at the thought of your English teacher in just their undergarments. You'd never forget that image. Thanks Luke.
"-sHE LOOKS SO PERFECT STANDING THERE IN MY AMERICAN APPAREL UNDERWEARRRRR!" Michael sang, dancing a little, nudging your brother's side with his butt.
"No. No underwear," Ashton shook his head and pushed Michael off of him.
"Commando? That's pretty ballsy," Calum laughed.
"Literally ballsy!" Luke added, throwing his head back to laugh as well.
"I take it back, they're not good at giving advice at all," Ashton looked at his bandmates in distaste.
"Heyyyyyyy," Calum put his hands on his hips, "we're great at this! Y/N tell us some of your weed speech!"
"Uh well," you cleared your throat as they all turned to look at you. This was exactly what you didn't like. You reminded yourself that it was just Ashton, Luke, Calum, and Michael, they wouldn't laugh, they wouldn't sneer or say mean things. You were safe with them. "Well, marijuana has never caused death by overdose and in comparison to alcohol, which is legal, it is far less lethal and you aren't likely to become addicted."
"Great! Just like that! Perfect!" Michael kissed the tips of his fingers and then spread his palms wide, "muha!"
"Well," Ashton shook his head and looked at the guitarist in worry like he thought that Michael was under the effects of marijuana, "it's certainly a good start, but not a five minute speech quite yet."
"I wish we had fun stuff like weed speeches when we were in high school," Calum sighed as he thought back.
Luke snorted, "how do you know we didn't Mr. Dropout."
"Shut up nerd," Calum huffed.
"Hey! Only I can call him a nerd," Michael puffed out his chest and walked between Luke and Calum. He stared the bassist down for a moment before turning to the blonde, "you're such a nerd Luke."
You chuckled and shook your head.
"If you guys are just going to goof around and make weed jokes then you can leave so I can help her," Ashton shook his head and crossed his arms.
"WeeD JOKES?! GREAT IDEA!" Michael threw his head back while he yelled. "HEY CALUM! WHY ARE THERE NO STONERS IN THE FIRST GRADE?!"
"Because six year olds shouldn't be smoking pot," Ashton grumbled and shifted on their feet.
"I DON'T KNOW WHY?" Calum played along with an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders.
"BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL IN HIGH SCHOOL!" Michael forced a short laugh out.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Calum artificially heaved his shoulders up and down to simulate genuine laughter.
"That was so bad you have to fake laughing," Ashton snapped, "that's sad!"
"I KNOW ONE!" Luke announced.
"Oh great," Ashton's face distorted into an expression of distaste.
"WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT A LOT OF MARIJUANA?" He yelled, winking at you.
"You get super high? You can smell colors?" Ashton guessed.
"YOU GET A POTBELLY!" Luke began to giggle incessantly at his own cheesy jokes.
Calum and Michael cottoned on like it was the funniest thing in the world just to annoy Ashton, and it worked.
"Are you done ye-" Ashton tried to get them to stop.
"WHAT DO MERMAIDS SMOKE?" Calum asked.
Your brother groaned loudly.
"TELL US CALUM!" Michael screamed.
"SEAWEED!" The brunette grinned widely at Ashton.
"Don't smile at me. That was a lame joke. You should be ashamed," Ashton snapped back.
"Geez Ashton, you seem pretty tense," Luke raised an eyebrow.
"Gee I wonder why?" He said sarcastically.
"No idea, but I know something that will hellllllp," Michael pressed his lips together in a thin line so that he wouldn't smile.
"If you say weed I will shave whatever hair remains on your head," Ashton hissed.
"Nevermind then," Michael held up his hands, "I have no idea."
"That's what I thought. You guys are the most unhelpful when it comes to advice," your brother pressed a hand to your back, ready to whisk you away so that you could have a more productive conversation.
"Well first of all, you voluntold us to give Y/N here public speaking advice," Luke tried to defend themselves.
Ashton was having none of it, "yeah and your great idea was weed jokes."
"Oh lighten up, unclench Ashton, maybe weed jokes would be a good way to start of the presentation!" Michael said cheekily.
"They are most certainly not the proper way to start a formal presentation," he seethed.
Calum, who looked ready to burst with laughter, finally let loose. He fell forward, clutching his stomach as tears flowed freely down his face, "serious presentation. About weed!"
"It's a serious topic with lots of factors to discuss," Ashton defended himself.
"You guys are so off topic! I just need to know how you talk to large groups of teenagers!" You whined, refocusing their attention.
"We we swear a lot on stage but that's probably out," Michael sighed.
"And Ashton said no jokes," Luke pouted.
"You're not singing anything or playing any instruments," Calum chewed on his lip.
"No she's saying a speech not giving a concert, glad that's established," Ashton said dryly, "try and look confident, and if you think you'll do good then I promise that you will!"
"Yeah!" Michael nodded, "and I would suggest not having any pyrotechnics."
"Very true, no weed themed special effects, that would be very distracting," Luke nodded.
"Heeeere we goooo," Ashton sucked in a breath and tiredly rubbed his face with his right hand.
"Fine fine. Don't be like us! Dress for success!" Calum interjected, "Wear nice clothes!"
"No shirts with big holes in them," Ashton nodded, watching while Luke stuck his pointer finger through one of the gaping holes in his shirt right by his collarbones.
"No skinny jeans either, weAR A MIRT! YES! FULL-CIRCLE BABY! GOD BLESS THE MIRT AND LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!" Michael cheered, darting away from Ashton and throwing his leg up in a celebratory high-kick.
"Don't wear a mirt," Luke clarified, watching Michael with mild amusement.
"And even if you say something that isn't right just keep talking because nobody else knows that you're wrong," Calum shrugged.
"That's bad advice," Ashton winced.
"Oh yeah! Did you know that in the fifteenth century lemonade was first invented by the Aztecs?" Calum said sassily.
"What?!" Michael crinkled his nose.
"Calum that makes no sense," Luke groaned.
"Yeah because I made it up," the bassist said as if you hadn't already figured that out.
"Groundbreaking," Ashton said dully, "when in doubt don't lie it out. Please."
"CALCULATORS WERE FIRST PATENTED BY SHERMAN P. CALCULATOR IN 1968!" Calum threw out another bad fact.
"See, the perfect example of what not to do," Luke nodded along.
"That's so fake it makes me cringe," Michael shuddered.
"It's not fake," Calum sounded offended, "in America that's just an alternative fact!"
"Pipe down KellyAnne."
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