November 8th, 2009
I didn't slept much that night. I was worried about Waliyha. She didn't came home until eleven in the morning. She had been gone for way too long. I was about to bawl her out when I heard that she was sniffing. This really worried me. Waliyha wasn't the kind of girl to cry and let everyone else know. I was about to wait for a while, the time she get better, but I heard her knocking at my door. I almost ran to open it and my sister felt into my arms, crying more than I ever saw her cry. Her fingers were holding my sweater and she was trembling.
- Hey... Calm down... It's okay...
- I'm sorry Zayn... I'm sorry...
She kept saying that over and over so I brought her to the bed and we laid there side to side, her face on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a while. Until Waliyha's sobs stopped. She then get back a bit and wiped her eyes. She didn't said a thing, she was just looking at me.
- Can I ask something ? I said, not even hoping for her to say yes.
She nodded and I was surprised. But I did like it was nothing at all.
- Why me ? I mean... We aren't like in good terms and you have a lot of friends and everything and I just...
- I only got one brother, she cut me, her voice so low and hoarse.
She cleared her throat before continuing.
- I can't handle to fight with you anymore. Not with all that other stuff.
I knew by the look on her face that the "other stuff" wasn't just Safaa. She wanted to talk. I sat on the mattress and she did the same thing. I grabbed her hand in mine, because I felt like she was about to break down again.
- Remember that time when you said that I wouldn't be a good mother ? She asked me and I knew she was trying not to cry.
I nodded and she let a tear ran on her cheek. I remember that, it was in mi-august.
- You know I was just angry, I told her. I didn't believed that.
- And you remember when I left for a week at my friend's lake house a bit later ?
I nodded again and she really tried not to break down again. I rubbed her back and she laid her head on my chest.
- I... I was...
She was breathing pretty heavily and her shoulder were shaking again. I knew she was crying again.
- I was... pregnant and I just... I had an abortion...
I stopped breathing and my eyes get wide. Damn, I wasn't expecting that at all. I hold her even tighter and let her cried on my shoulder.
- You... You did that because of me ? I asked, trying to catch her eyes.
- No, not... Not completely but... It didn't helped...
- I'm sorry.
- It's nothing...
I would have said a thing if I knew that it was going to help. But it wasn't so I just hugged her.
- Where were you last night ? I asked after a while, when she stopped to sob.
- At a party and... Kyle was there and he just...
- Kyle was the...
She nodded before I can't finished.
- What happened ?
- I told him that I didn't wanted him near me because he left me all alone and... He didn't so I locked myself in the bathroom and I had to wait until everyone was gone to get out...
- I hate him.
She didn't said a thing back, she just wrapped her arms around my chest. "You didn't slept a lot, euh ?" I asked in a whispered and she shook her head. I made us laid down on the mattress and ran my fingers through her hair. I didn't wanted her to feel bad. I didn't wanted her to be hurt. I wanted none of my sister to feel that way.
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Seriously, I want a big bro like Zayn, a lot. This entry is a bit long, my apologize for not posting everyday since a while... I just hope that you still like me. Because I do<3