How To: Survive Teenagehood

By howto_

567K 42.3K 13.6K

There is a stage between childhood and adulthood that makes us all want to bang our heads into a concrete wal... More

1/Rock Orange Trousers
2/Don't Argue In A Stationary Cupboard
3/Crying At 3am Will Leave You Dehydrated
4/Maybe Don't Watch Movie Trailers For Four Hours
5/You Don't Look Like A Pepperoni Pizza
6/ Pears Are For Baloo To Pick
7/ Knights In Rusty Armour Are Equally As Outdated As Shiny Ones
8/ Be An Armadillo
9/ Live Like An Indie Movie Or At Least Watch One
10/ Buy Yourself Roses
11/ It's Not A Bargain If You Have To Justify Buying It
12/ You Uncultured Swine
13/ Yoga Pants Are Actually For Yoga?!
14/ We All Go Through A Goth Phase
15/ You Are Not Peter Pan
16/ You Haven't Lived Without At Least One Bad Haircut
17/ Scream If You Have To
18/ Is There A Box For What Is This?
19/ It's Called A Crush For A Reason
20/ I Have To Have Actual Skills?
21/ You Need Oxygen
22/ Walk A Mile In Their Crocs
23/ It's Not Worth Your Tears
24/ Do Not Be Blinded By The Filters
25/ I'll Only Watch One Episode....
26/ Exercise? What's that?
27/ Is That An Afterparty I Hear?
28/ I Have 15 Journals- Is That Excessive?
29/ This Isn't Such A Funny Chapter
30/ Try Meaningful Rather Than Mundane
31/ You Don't Need That Fidget Spinner Nike Kylie Lip Kit
32/ Do Not Be That Puppy Dog
What Are You Struggling With?
33/ You Better Stop, Stop Before...
34/ To The Left To The Left
35/ sNObs
36/ Let It Wash Over You
37/ We All Fit In Somewhere
38/ Well This Is A Bloody Nightmare
39/ Let's Try And Stop Crying Into Ice Cream Cartons
40/ A Chapter In Which I Save Your Academic Career
41/ Stop Throwing A Hissy Fit
42/ Perfection Is A Myth, Pass It On
43/ Imaginary Relationships Can Be Better Than Real Ones
44/ We're All In This Together
45/ I've Run Out Of Chapter Names, This One Is About Sexuality
46/Being Alone Doesn't Always Have To Be Lonely
47/ Let's Talk About Sex Baby, Let's Talk About You And Me...
48/ Finding Magical Time
49/ Insecure? Here's the Cure!
50/ Hey I Just Met You... And This Is Crazy
51/ JUST DO IT
52/ You're Toxic, I'm Slipping Under
53/ It's Not Quite How The Movies Portray It
54/ Don't Cringe Out Of Your Skin
55/ Take The Last Cookie
56/ It May Not Be Lemons But They're Too Sour Anyway
57/ You Can't Hold 5.972 Sextillion Tons
58/ Hello Miss Trunchbull
59/ 'Can't stand the silence. I need to speak to you.'
60/ It All Happens For Something
61/ I Can't Believe We're Related Sometimes
62/ This Isn't Awkward at All
63/ Be Your Own Captain and Crew
64/ Faker than Kylie Jenner's Lips
65/ Mother Nature Made You, So Repsect Her Creation
66/ You've Got A Friend In Me
67/ I Should Probably Be Revising
A/N
68/ You Can Live Without Them
The End... For Now

0/Always Introduce Yourself (This Is The Introduction)

67.3K 2.9K 686
By howto_

Teenagehood is defined by Wiktionary as a 'crippling disease' and I don't think that's far off from the truth. Yes @howto_ is making a 'how to' book again after not making a 'how to' book in what feels like months yet this isn't really a 'how to' book more like one where you can just laugh at my pathetic attempt at humour. Now that is a tongue twister and a half (suck on that woodchucks).

Being a teenager is hard. I mean not as hard as the lives of some- let's keep everything relative here- but it is hard. Hormones cause havoc on your life, everyone is annoying and smelly, and things just never go your way. Which is why you need my survival guide to surviving this difficult period of your life.

Fun fact: I'm awkward. So I've learnt the hard way how to survive this difficult phase of my life. I do stupid things. Often. Yes anecdotes will be included. Yes you can laugh at them.

Unlike some of my other guides, this one won't be so formal. I don't think I could speak to you seriously about living as a teenager without throwing in a joke or two. So laugh if you want to, my humour can be particular sometimes.

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