Part 1/4
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Requested by:
@StaceyStonier
*WARNING*
Mentions of:
• Fighting (verbally)
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Alrighty so for this one I'm taking the lines for each boys preference from the parts they sing in the song (yes I know there's a lot of overlap)- Ashton'll just get a different line that I pick
Calum:
"Who's right? Who's wrong? Who really cares? The fault, the blame, the pain's still there..."
Screaming and yelling. Never a moment of peace, or quiet. Your parents had problems, and although they weren't being directly taken out on you, their constant fighting over everything was freaking you out.
Spats started over unloading the dishwasher would devolve into screaming matches about who had to do all of the work and ungratefulness which just ended up being insult after insult hurled at one another. Eventually when their voices were too hoarse to continue, one would leave, usually your father, and get drunk then crash at a friends house. Your mother would confine herself to their shared bedroom, and despite her best efforts, her muffled crying could be heard even through the thickest of walls.
You were horrified. Your parents marriage seemed to be on the rocks, all they cared about was who was right, and who had "won" the argument. In reality it was you who lost, because you had to listen to it.
It hurt you deep deep down in your heart to hear two people who used to be so in love, who had raised you and cared for you together, start saying such terrible things.
If they could stop loving each other, could they stop loving you? Were you just as replaceable and irritating?
The question gnawed at you, randomly coming back to haunt you at random points in your day. When your teacher lectured you on work ethic, when you went about your chores, when you watched your classmates tell each other they'd be together forever.
Forever didn't seem like such a long time anymore.
It was rather disheartening to think about being abandoned by your parents, left behind while they both went their separate ways. It became a reoccurring nightmare.
It always began the same way, dark and loud. The screaming voices of your parents rising over each other as they fought about who hogged the television. Then you'd begin to materialize, a person in a black space, nothing to see, but loud echoing voices that penetrated your skull
"IT'S MY TELEVISION AND I'LL WATCH WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE!" Your dad would scream from somewhere behind you.
"IT'S NOT YOURS, ESPECIALLY WHEN ALL YOU WANT TO WATCH IS TRASH!" Your mothers voice loudly echoed from somewhere above you.
"TRASH? YOU'RE CALLING WHAT I WATCH TRASH? LOOK IN A MIRROR, MAYBE I'M JUST USED TO IT!" Then the insults truly started, rattling around in your mind.
As soon as things got personal, your parents would appear. Red in the face, worked up and yelling and each other.
"I WISH I HAD NEVER MARRIED YOU! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SAD EXCUSE OF A MAN!" Your Mum yelled, pushing your father back with a shove to the shoulders.
"I'M A MAN, BUT YOU'RE A RATHER SORRY WIFE," he'd roar back, getting so close to her face that you were worried he'd hit her.
At this point you'd always start screaming.
"STOP! STOP! PLEASE, STOP!" You'd yell and yell until your voice went hoarse, but the scene was like a prerecorded loop, no matter how much you yell at it, nothing changed.
You'd run over to them and try to pull them apart, grabbing onto your mother only to find that she always slipped through your fingers like sand. She wasn't really there, not to listen to you, and not to stop yelling.
Then your vision would again fade to black, your parents would disappear, and the noises of them yelling would change. No longer could you hear words, but instead ear-piercing, high-pitched noises that made your head hurt like nothing else. You'd fall down and try to cover your ears with your hands only to find that it made the sound louder. It would get louder, and louder, until you woke up. Sometimes you'd just sit up suddenly, drenched in a cold sweat, or you'd be sobbing and crying, once you screamed yourself awake.
It was a miserable existence, you were zombielike, always tired and unable to focus. You were on guard all the time at home, barely able to hold a conversation with your parents. You couldn't look them in the eyes and pretend that everyone was alright when it clearly wasn't.
Your friends noticed and tried to support you, you'd often find yourself staying at someone else's house for a few nights in a row. Sympathetic parents seeing the crumbling relationship of your parents and taking pity. But it was all just delaying the inevitable. You always had to go back, walk in the doors, and hear your parents absolutely rip into each other while pretending to do your homework, or sleep.
It just wasn't a life you could continue to live, not that you knew how you'd be able to do any thing about it.
Calum and Mali were out living their dreams while you were stuck in a circle of Hell. When they called you they were always so upbeat and happy, and you didn't want to rain on their respective parades. So you didn't bring it up. You only talked to them when there would be no fighting in the background, where you could pretend like you were okay, and even though they undoubtably knew that something was wrong with your parents, they couldn't know the extent unless someone told them. That person wasn't about to be you.
Or at least that was the plan.
You had the nasty habit of turning the alarms off on your phone before you were really awake. You'd just hit the button for five, ten, fifteen more minutes. This problem was of course further fueled by the nighttime fights of your parents and your own nightmares.
But it came to the point where you were so tired in the mornings that you couldn't tell the sound of your alarm from that of Calum's FaceTime ringtone.
So early one Thursday morning, when Calum knew that you didn't have school due to a teacher work day, he called you. Thanks to timezones it was evening for him, and the perfect time to call and wish you a good day.
You on the other hand, were so used to waking up early for school, thought that Calum's call was your alarm. In your sleep-deprived state, you subconsciously reached up and hit the accept button.
"Y/N?" Calum asked, but your headphones were plugged in, and you didn't hear him.
You settled back into bed and snuggled under the covers.
"Y/NNNNN!?" He sang, looking up at your ceiling both confused and worried. Why had you answered the call and yet weren't speaking to him?
"What's going on dude?" Michael yawned from the other side of the room. He must have noticed his bandmates expression.
"Y/N answered my FaceTime but I don't see her anywhere," Calum sighed, taking out an earbud so that he could more easily talk to Michael. You weren't about to that's for sure.
"Maybe she did it on accident, what time is it there again?" The redhead yawned and lounged back on his bed. Lazily lounging after the tiring show earlier.
"Pretty early, you're probably right, maybe it answered on some glitch and she's still asleep," your brother frowned and looked down at the screen longingly. He had really wanted to check in with you, it had been a while since the two of you had engaged in a proper conversation.
"Hakuna Matata my dude," Michael smiled lightly and closed his eyes, "nooooo worries here."
"Yeah yeah, I'll hang up then, let her get her beauty sleep," Calum's finger hovered over the red, hang up, button.
But he hesitated when a soft murmuring became apparent in the background.
He furrowed his eyebrows and put the other earbud back in.
"...noooooo," you groaned loudly, "no, no, no."
Michael cracked open and eye and glanced at his friend, "still on the call? That's a little creepy don't you think?"
"SHHHHH," Calum held up a finger and shushed him.
"Stop! No more yelling!" He could hear you thrashing around in your sleep, "no, nO, NO! NO! NOOOO!"
Your last, "no," turned into a loud scream. It made Calum wince and turn the volume down slightly. But then it stopped, there was a heavy panting, but he still could only see your ceiling.
"Y/N?" He tried again, "Are you awake? Y/N?"
You hadn't picked up your phone yet, so you didn't respond to him. You started to cry though. Cry from exhaustion, frustration, and worry.
Calum heard, and it was heartbreaking. He could do nothing but sit there and listen to you cry until you picked up your phone to talk. He was forced to endure your grief without being able to stop it, like sand through his fingertips.
At last, when your crying session was reduced to sniffles, you reached over and grabbed your phone.
Let's just say you were more than surprised when Calum's face greeted you. He looked ragged, tired and red around the eyes like he too had been in tears recently.
"Calum?" You furiously rubbed your eyes with the back of your hands, trying to erase any evidence of your grief, "Do you need some thing?"
"Y/N," he said softly, eyes beginning to spill over as he saw that you were about to try and hide the issue, "what was that?"
"What?" You played dumb, looking away from the screen so that you wouldn't have to look at Calum.
"You know what. Tell me and don't bother lying," he tried to sound stern, but he mostly sounded sad, which was more effective.
"I had a bad dream," you mumbled, suddenly interested in your bedsheets as you traced random patterns with your fingers.
"About what?" He pressed, not dropping it.
You were at crossroads. Tell him and ruin it all, or keep it bottled up. After a long moments deliberation, you were decided. Calum wanted to know and you couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Mum and Dad have been fighting a lot," you blubbered, having to take in a deep breath to steel yourself for what was coming.
"Yeah? About what?" Calum asked, he looked generally unsurprised but still a little shocked that whatever it was was enough to shake you so much.
"Everything, all the time," you cried, "they don't love each other anymore Calum. I think they're going to get a divorce."
Your brother's face softened, "oh Y/N, it'll be okay, parents fight sometimes."
"They fight all the time," you reasserted, "and they call each other pigs and wish they had never been married."
Calum's face paled but there was no stopping you.
"I'm scared Cal, what if they don't want me anymore? If they can stop loving each other can they stop loving me? If they wished they were never married does that mean they wish I was never born?" You started to cry in earnest, setting your phone down so that you could wipe the tears that were constantly streaming down your face.
"No no no," he shook his head, "they love you no matter what Y/N, trust me. I wish you had told me earlier that they fight like this... I would've done something," he sighed.
You were hiccuping and trying to gather your breath, not yet ready to respond.
"I'm not leaving you there, I'm going to call them, a visit from you is long overdue little sister," he smiled comfortingly.
Your parents later let you go, so you were able to visit Calum and the boys and escape home for a few weeks. Your nightmares didn't stop. But at least now you could wake up and someone would be there to tell you it would all be okay.
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