(This chapter is a little longer than usual 😊 it took me hours to complete so I would really appreciate it if you guys VOTE and COMMENT!
Thanks for reading! )
Harry's POV
I groan in my sleep when Beth shakes me. I'm too damn tired to get up and my eyes won't seem to open.
"Someone's at the door." She whispers as though it could be some murderer or something.
My eyes jolt open and I use my pals to push myself off of the bed quickly. Before I leave the room I tell Beth to stay put just in case it's someone I don't want her seeing.
The hallway squeaks as I walk and the sound is giving me a headache, another pounding knock on the door making my head ache with pain even more.
"I'm coming!" I yell through the other side of the door. Just for their ridiculously amount of unnecessary pounding I don't even want to open the fucking door anymore.
I unlock the door, the chain coming off first and then the actual lock itself. When I open the door I can't say I'm surprised to see her here. I go to shut the door but she puts her heel against the bottom, stopping it from closing in on her.
"What do you want?" I scold her.
"I'm here to see my daughter." She says through gritted teeth but I don't move. She's not in anyway intimidating me and if she is trying to then she is failing miserably.
I'm not even sure what happened that night when she left with her dad. All I know is that her mum must have said something to her to make her leave almost an hour away to get away from her.
"She doesn't want to see you." I continue to block the entry into my seemingly cold house; or it probably just feels that way because I'm only wearing sweatpants.
"Let me in." She crosses her arms over her check and lets out a huff.
"Leave right now or I'll-"
"Or what?-" she steps closer. "You going to push me or something?"
Push.
I know what she means by that and I bet Beth's fucking father told her mum about it. God dammit this is exactly what I didn't want happening. My eyes are focused on the woman in front of me who has a smile plastered onto her face, her eyes glistening in the light as though she knows she has cracked a part of me.
After three years of trying to rid the memories, they only seem to be coming back to haunt me much more frequently then before. It's the littlest things that would bring back a memory from that night.
Just like a couple weeks ago when Abby wanted to take Beth to the hospital.
I remembered.
A couple days after that when I accidentally cut my finger with a knife and saw blood dripping onto the floor.
I remembered.
When I watch a horror movie and some guy gets murdered with eyes wide open with a gash to his head.
I remembered.
Right now, the way my hands are shaking and the way I can't form words to speak. The way my body is starting to sweat and how my eyes are wide open. It's the same exact way I was reacting when it happened.
I remember. I remember it all as clear as day and I fucking hate it. I have so many regrets in my life; one being this one, and the other when I was being an asshole and-
Her mum nudges me by the shoulder and my thoughts float above me like a cloud of smoke.
The sound of her heels click against the hardwood floor and I'm sure Beth knows who is coming her way. I hear my bedroom door slam against the wall behind it and I hurry behind Beth's mom.
I stand behind her and give Beth an apologetic look even though she isn't looking at me. She sits up on the bed with the blanket covered over he body. Rubbing her eyes, she blinks a couple times before taking the image right before her.
"Mom?" She says almost as a question to sound as if she isn't sure.
Once she realizes it really is her mum she jumps out of the bed and pulls down my long black shirt that covers just above her knees.
"Let's go." Her mum enters the room and grabs Beth's bag that was sitting on the bed and throws her clothes into it.
"I'm not leaving!" She debates and crosses her arms over herself.
"Oh, but you are." She doesn't look at Beth as she continues to stuff the bag of her belongings.
"I am not." She walks dangerously close to her mum and goes to snatch the bag away from her tight grasps.
"You are not staying here." She points to me. "Especially not with him, this..this psychotic boy that you somehow love!" She yells and I swear of she wasn't a woman if best the living shit out of her right now.
I'm surprised her mum hasn't mentioned the memory of my father. My mind is still cluttered from everything that has happened the past week. Everything is all jumbled into one fucking mess and I'm sitting here like a fucking idiot trying to untie the shit.
Her mum now has a legitimate reason to not like me. She now thinks I'm a fucking murderer psychopath but I can't blame her. She knows I will hurt her daughter, and I know I will along the path; I'm just dreading for that day not to come. She knows that when I do, she will have to deal with the crying sobs of her heartbroken teenage daughter up in her room balling her damn eyes out because of something I did.
This is the reason why I avoided relationships. The labeling gets into people minds and it seems like some control over the person. It makes you feel like you're with that person to protect them, not hurt them. But that's what I always end up doing, I hurt people. I've hurt my mum, I've hurt my father and eventually, I'm going to hurt Beth. I agreed to be in a relationship with her because I know that no matter what I do I won't be able to stay away from her. I need to feel her and hear her voice as often as I can. I need to be able to be the only one to show her things that she has never experienced in her innocent life.
I need her to be with me.
I need her to be mine. No matter how controlling that sounds, I mean it. I don't think id be able to control myself if I ever see another man touch her the way I do.
I look over at the two woman before me. The evil looking one battling with the Angel-like over a bag of clothing seems childish. The way the keeps tugging on the bag is driving me nuts and I can't take it anymore.
I walk in between them and grab the bag from both of them.
They are both out of breath from the constant tugging and Beth blows away hair that has fallen in front of her face. I hope she doesn't get mad at what I am about to do.
"H-Harry tell her to leave!" She pouts a finger at her mum. "Tell her that I'm staying with you."
He practically begs but I can't bring myself to do it right now so I shake my head slowly.
"What?" She almost whispers a cry.
"Maybe you should go," I tell her, a glaze starting to form over her beautiful , big green eyes and her bottom lip shivers. "For now." I add to try to make it seem less harsh than it sounds. It doesn't work.
"Finally someone agrees with me." Her mum laugh from the side.
"I'm not agreeing with you!" I yell. "Can you give us a minute?" I don't even know why I'm asking her when this is my damn house to begin with.
She nods slowly before exiting the room and leaving me alone with Beth.
"Why are you doing this? You don't want me to stay with you? What did I do? Harry, why-"
"Beth, stop." I hold her shoulder and tell her to sit down on the bed and I take a spot next to her. "You didn't do anything.."
"Then why are you making me leave with her?" She pushes.
I can't look at her. I know she is crying and if I give in then she will be left here with me after all. I want her to stay with me, I do. But I don't want to be that person who drags her away from her own family. I don't want to hurt her, and I will have no control over anything when I'm the cause for the miscommunication between her and her own family.
"It's just best right now," I try to explain as easy as possible but not seeming to make any effort at all. "You haven't seen your mum in over a week."
"And I haven't seen you in nearly a week!" She says. I know she's right but I can't really explain to her why I need to her leave. "Harry, please. She doesn't get me,. She never will. She will just yell at me all day and..and I'm tired of it, I'm not happy when I am there!" She cries next to me and tugs on arm, holding me tight, her nails digging into my skin.
"I'm only happy when I'm with you." She adds and I look over at her.
"I'm sorry," I say and I lean in to kiss her softly on her tear stained lips.
"Don't," she sniffles. "Don't make me go with her."
She sounds terrified. Completely horrified to be with her mother and I'm still left to know the real reason why.
"What happened?" I ask "why are you so afraid of her?"
"I'm not afraid of her. She's my mother but she's been acting as though she's my worst enemy lately.." She looks down at the ground. "She said it was my stupid mistake. It was a stupid mistake that I had made that night, the night of the party. She looks at me differently now and I hate it. I hate the way everyone looks at me! It's with disgust! Like I'm some slut or something-"
I can't make her leave with her mum. I don't feel comfortable knowing that she isn't comfortable being alone with her and my heart aches for her. I never had this type of feeling towards another persons pain. It's like I can feel what she feels. It's like the aching of her chest is mimicking mine to make it do the same.
"I'm sorry that all of this keeps happening to you. It shouldn't, none of it should and I really am sorry." I grab her hard and rub my thumb over the smooth skin.
"you are always the one apologizing when it was never even your fault to begin with." She says to me and my eyes fall to the floor again.
"Beth," I begin to speak but her eyes are filled with so much hurt that I can't. I can't bring any more consequences on her shoulders for her to carry. She needs rest, she needs a stress free day and I think I know how to resolve that.
"I'll be right back." I stand from the bed and leave the room. Her mum is looking around my house like some nosy ass search dog.
She grabs her right red purse off the the glass table and swings it over her arm. She flicks her hair on both sides and purses her lips. I hope she knows that she doesn't need to make up her face every fucking day of the week, she doesn't look like a woman, she looks like some fucking prostitute.
"Is she ready?" She impatiently waits for me to answer.
"No," I say. "I'll have Abby come over. That way you won't be too nervous to have your daughter around some like me. I mean, that's why you're here right? You think I'm going to hurt her."
"No, I know you will hurt her." Yeah, so do I. "And I'm her mother, I will be the person to gather her way from any type of harm!"
I chuckle. "Really? Well to me it seems like you are the one who is hurting her." I tell her.
"She doesn't like the truth. She gets upset when people tell her the truth-"
"Nothing you said to her was the fucking truth.!" I yell and take massive steps towards her. "You have your head so far up your ass that you can't even realize how much I care about her. "
She laughs. "You don't."
How dare she fucking say shit to me like this?
"You want what every female has. You don't care for her.-"
"get out."
"You will hurt her and she will never forgive you."
"Get the fuck out." My blood is boiling.
"You will destroy her. You will have her as a guilt built upon you just like it is with your father." She shocking says.
I'm holding everything in me right now to not do something that I will regret. I will never hit a woman, but the way she I testing me right now makes me feel like I can't keep that promise.
"You have two fucking seconds to get the fuck out of my house."
I set close to her and she steps back. She looks afraid and I smile deeply inside.
"She'll be home tomorrow." She says and leaves the apartment.
I stand along in the small living room. I'm tired of people thinking that I can't love her, they think I'm not good enough for her and in all honestly, I'm probably not.
Minutes later the door creeks open and I hear small footsteps being heard behind me.
Arms are places around me and I start to calm down.
"Sorry for acting like a baby," she sniffles onto my back.
"You weren't," I turn around and hug her closely. "Your mom is a bitch." I say. I know she doesn't like when I say this but it's true. She doesn't say anything about my rude remark and I'm sure she's starting to think I am right.
"I'm gunna see if Abby want to come over. Maybe you guys can go do some things.." I pull my phone out of my pocket.
"Will you come?" She asks and pulls away from me.
I shake my head an put the phone to my ear. "I have some things to do," I tell her and leave the room to and wait for Abby to pick up the phone.