Prompt: There is something that Harry has always wanted but not really sure how to ask or even who to ask. He takes a chance though and asks Josh, praying it wasnt a mistake.
Warnings:
Word Count:
-Begin Chapter-
"Did you really jump off the roof? Just for the shot?" asked Josh, sounding completely stunned as he sat in his chair in front of his computer, watching me with his hazel eyes.
"Yes! I thought, hey this would look great and what could go wrong?" I replied.
"Everything?" he said for me.
"Yes! Oh my days, my mom was so mad!" I exclaimed falling back on Josh's bed. "It took me fucking WEEKS to get her to stop yelling at me about it and that was AFTER I replaced the sliding glass door."
"My question is how you broke it on the way down in the first place?" asked Josh, sounding curious.
"I honestly have no idea. I looked at the footage like a dozen time and I have no clue." I called out frustratedly.
"Fair enough." replied Josh before turning back to his computer, going back to editing the latest GTA video he had done with the guys.
I really should get back into that. Lord knows my fans want me to, besides
I looked at Josh from where I laid on the bed, taking in what I could see of him, the way his face was set in concentration as he rested it on his hand, the other mindlessly clicking as he edited.
Besides I miss these guys.
"Hey, Josh." I called out, sitting up on the bed, bring my legs up to my chest, my arms wrapping around them.
"Yeah?" he called not bothering to look at me.
"Do you think you and the guys would be okay if I came back to playing GTA with you again?" I asked, squeezing my legs as nervousness set in. I had come up with this whole plan a few days ago, knowing it was risky as heck, but I had to try. This has been something that has been on my mind for so long. It is something I want so badly, I just couldn't figure out how to ask for it, at least till now.
Josh quickly turned around his chair, his eyes open wide in shock.
"No, of course not Harry." he said, dropping his hand from his face as he turned all the way around so he could move his chair closer to me. "The guys and I would love for you to play with us again, sure we will probably give you some shit."
I raised my eyebrow up at him.
"Okay, a lot of shit, but that's not the point." he said, reaching to place one of his hands on top my knee, his hazel eyes shinning as he smiled at me. "The point is, bro, you are welcomed back at any time."
I nodded. "Okay, thanks Josh. I was thinking of coming back, I honestly have been, it's just..." I paused, trying to decide how I wanted to word this, "I was just wondering if you would do something for me first."
"Sure Harry, if it's going to get you to come back to GTA, i'll do anything. Well almost anything. I'm not gonna suck dick or anything."
I laughed, "No bro, of course I wouldn't ask you to do anything like that." I should have known he was gonna say something like that.
"Ok good. So what do ya need Harry?" he asked me, the hand on knee lightly squeezing.
"I was wondering if..." I paused. This was so stupid, why in the fuck was I going to ask him this? Josh, out of all the Sidemen Josh. Fuck me. "I was wondering if you would." I paused again, looking into Josh's eyes, noticing the encouraging look in them. I took a deep breath and tried one more time. "I was wondering if you would sing me to sleep."
There it is. I said it. Fuck me.
It was silent for a moment, Josh and I keeping eye contact for a long moment, the look in his eyes now unreadable, scaring me.
He isn't going to do it. He is probably going to laugh at me.
I could feel a tightness in my chest as I began to shake.
I have honestly wanted someone to sing me sleep for the longest time now. I've always wanted to lay there, them beside me, thier voice soft as it floated into my ears, filling me with ease as I feel asleep. I always imagine that it would be so special, a tightness would be in my chest as soft tears fell from my eyes as they sang whatever song they had chosen, softly filling my ears.
I wanted to feel so small, so cared for, so loved.
"Harry." started Josh, bringing me from my thoughts. I focused my gaze back on him, watching his eyes as he looked back at me. "Are you sure?" he asked, looking slightly unsure as well.
"Yes." I spoke out as I nodded my head, my eyes now wide.
Was he going to do it?
Josh sighed, looking away for a moment, his other hand running through his hair before looked back at me.
"Would anyone know about this?"
"No."
"What song would I have to sing?"
"Any song you wanted."
"Even if it was a country song?"
"I guess so." I answered, shrugging.
He nodded looking at me, really looking at me, causing me to shift a little bit under his gaze. Josh was silent for awhile longer before sighed.
"Okay, I'll sing you to sleep Harry." he spoke to me.
"Really?" I asked unbelieving.
"Really." asnwered Josh with a smile causing me to smile as well.
-Later that night-
"Night guys!" I called as I stood near Josh's door, hearing all them call back before they went back to whatever they were talking about.
I slowly turned towards Josh's door, noticing that he had left it cracked open for me when he had come up earlier, a look of concertation on his face. I slowly walked forward, pushing the door open all the way, revealing Josh siting up in his bed, his computer off, the only light in the room coming from the lap on his side table.
"Hey." I called out, causing his to look up from his phone.
"Hey, you ready?" he asked.
"Yeah." I slowly walked into the room, being sure to shut the door behind me. Josh stayed sitting up and watched me as I moved to the otherside of the bed.
I almost considered hesitating just outside of the bed, considering actually thinking about what I was doing. I pushed it all away and instead lifted the duvet up and crawled undreaneath it. Making sure to lay on my side, facing Josh.
"You comfortable?" he asked me.
I nodded, choosing not to speak. I could feel a slight nervousness enter me as I looked up at him, watching as he set his phone down before reaching to turn off his light, brining us in total darkness.
I could hear some shuffling in the bed and I assumed Josh was getting comfortable and I waited paitently, allowing my eyes to adjust to darkness from the room.
After a few moments, the shuffling stopped and Josh spoke, his voice coming from a space not far from my face.
"Are you ready Harry?"
"Yes." I answered closing my eyes, relaxing my body, and opening my ears, listening for when he began.
It only took a few moments, his voice starting off soft, making so I almost missed it.
There was a time when I was alone
Nowhere to go and no place to call home
My only friend was the man in the moon
And even sometimes he would go away, too
I recognized the song instantly and let a smile come to my face as I nuzzled the pillow below me, listening intently as Josh sang a little louder.
Then one night, as I closed my eyes
I saw a shadow flying high
He came to me with the sweetest smile
Told me he wanted to talk for awhile
My body was fully relaxed, my mind empty, the only thing I could really register was the sound of Josh's voice singing.
He said, "Peter Pan, that's what they call me
I promise that you'll never be lonely, " and ever since that day
I could feel his fingers in my hair.
I am a lost boy from Neverland
Usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy, " they say to me
Away from all of reality
I let out a soft sigh as I felt myself begin to drift, everything becoming heavy, peaceful.
Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
Thank you Josh. I thought as I drifted off, the end of the chorus drifting in my brain as I fell into a deep sleep, unable to hear the rest of the song and or feel the way Josh kissed my head as he finished the song.
Oh well, maybe next time.