After waking up with a painful back I got up from my bed and into her's after asking my dad where the hell she was, I needed her. She was there and I was back into her arms. I knew she had been lying to me when I'd ask her how was she, she'd lied to me and I knew it. I let her pass, I'd fix all that later, but I was wondering about other things; More important things.
"Are you keeping them?" I asked as I lain my hands on her swollen tummy. They were kicking, well alive and alright. Eliza had no emotion in her face, she wasn't phased at all. I hope she would say yes.
"No. I am not, I'm sure someone else will love them and take care of them but I can't go through with this." Eliza spat in disgust. I was a little taken aback by the news.
"But Eliza--" She couldn't see how happy we'd all be? How lovely this is, the beautiful babies?
"No Ashley!" Eliza barked. She scared me. "they're from him, they're going to turn out evil and bad like him, deformed even and you should get rid of them too!"
I held tight to my own stomach in fear of her hurtful statement towards my children. I'm not going to let her do a thing about my babies. "no, I love them Eliza and WE'RE keeping them!" I snapped back towards Eliza. "they might be from Alex but they are nothing of evil, I saw your ultra sound pictures... We have something to look forward to-- Don't you want to marry me?"
She hadn't answered instead Eliza turned around having her back face me. I didn't care how difficult she was being, we'd been apart from each other too long and now I wasn't keeping my eye off of her so I just put my arm around her waist, spooning her, kissing the nape of her neck and playing with her baby hairs from behind her ears to the back of her neck until she slowly altogether just fell asleep.
She looked so peaceful here and there but she'd talk in between her sleep, clutching her pillows. "shhh, shhh baby I know." I kiss her cheek before getting up to leave going to the kitchen. I had saw a few cherries, I like them a lot. I pull out some sparkling water since I can't drink anything alcoholic.
"Relationship problems already?" oh not dad again, always peeling into my relationship problems. "honey give her some time."
"Dad please," I sigh. He was sitting on a stool shirtless enjoying a glass of wine in the dark. But he wasn't alone, there was Ms. Honey, my teacher who he was engaged to as well. She was like another mother to me and I was happy to call her mother as well.
"Honey they were being torn apart by a mad man and Ashley I just know she'll change her mind. She's just in a large state of trauma and once she realizes what she wants she'll know. It's like you to give her space but also help her through this." Ms. Honey said as she was now slapping my dad's arm and giving me a hug. "sweetheart just be with her!"
I nodded, "yeah, um thanks Ms. Honey."
"Mom." she laughed.
"Thanks mom," I sat with both of my 'parents' eating and talking about other things. My mom was talking about wedding details with me. From the sound of it I was hearing big talk about a small intimate wedding, she wanted it very lavish but for the small group of people around the wedding. Meaning my friends, new friends, dad's friends from the firm, her friends and family, my aunt and uncles, faculty at school and my babies. I wanted something like that, something just small and beautiful with Eliza but knowing her the whole world was probably going to attend and be all over television.
We hadn't stopped talking even when my dad left for bed until it was two in the morning. "alright mom I'll see you in a few, plane should be off in the next five hours."
I came back to Eliza's room; Only to find her tossing and turning in her bed as she broke out into an aggressive sweat. She was talking in her nightmare so I came to her side leaning over her, shaking her. "Eliza!" I raised my voice as I shook her.
"I can't! I won't let you touch her, leave her the fuck alone!" she began screaming in her sleep unable to hear me call her name and feel me waking her. She was crying now. I didn't want to do this seeing as she's my mistress but I had no other choice; I slapped her. Hard.
She woke straight from her sleep, growling at me. Her hands were wrapped around my neck, I was put in a vulnerable position. She took a minute to realize it was me and that this was reality now after squeezing onto my neck like a dog with a chewy bone. She let me go, then collected her own breath. "Ashley I'm--"
I took her by the wrist with my left hand and pressed my index finger to her lips, "come, you need a decent shower. Let me help you out for once," she couldn't know what was real or not anymore. I didn't have it in me to hear her apologize, I just knew I had to be the supporting girlfriend for her so I helped her out of bed gently, walking her to the bathroom where I drew her a bath as she sat on the toilet in a bathrobe naked underneath. She sat, shaking with the utmost fear that resounded within her but I knew this bath would only calm her down for a while and put her to sleep. I wouldn't give her any drugs but perhaps a shot if it was deemed necessary that she was going to act out anymore.
I didn't want to be that kind or person where she'd look at me like someone who'd gone against her though. Her eyes were sunken, her rib cages showing more her baby bump did as well as the views and bones showing through her skin like a gory display of 3D art. She had nice cheekbones , always but now they were just sad.
Once the bath was drawn fully and bubble bath solution was applied I removed her robe and put her hair tied back her braids. I helped her in and began to lather up soap and a loofa. "what are you doing?"
I giggled at her, "love what does it look like I'm doing? I'm giving you a bath." there was a lot of blood washing off of her but thank God it wasn't her's, dirt as well. I reminded myself to be very gentle with her and even more with the bruises on her skin. "you've been through a lot but I'm here to make everything better okay? Everything's gonna get better!"
Eliza nodded. Just that too while staying to still and quiet. "what does mama wanna do when we get back home?" I asked her, raising my voice with a tinge of hope coating it. She said nothing, not even calling her Mama, my kinky name for her could make her smile. "how about we go for breakfast-- We can have Shrimp and Grits, your favorite! Go to a yoga class, go shopping, see a movie even? after that go food shopping and I'll make a big dinner for just us two?" I'm sure she'd like that. It was just something to get the bad stuff off her mind.
She nodded, "sure." she spoke in a small voice.
I kissed Eliza's cheek, "good babe, I even rented us an apartment four a few months just until we get back to New York and get back to regulated life." I couldn't risk her going back to New York now, I don't think the flashy lights and fast life would be best for Eliza seeing as she's under so much as is. I was under much more as well but I couldn't let that show, I had to be there for her more than ever. My father advised we have a couple's counseling as well, not that there was anything wrong with our relationship but that under the events that went on and the stress we shared together it seemed very important to talk to someone. I didn't mind this time either.
He said he'd call and set up an appointment on Thursday, three days from now. "anything else you want to do baby?" I asked while I washed her feet. "oh and we get mani pedi's today as well, how about diamonds on all or nails, I know you're not plain so we'll get them all!"
She cracked a weak smile. "that's my baby!" I peppered kisses all over Eliza's cheeks. "baby we bought you some clothes as well, I believe VERA should have them out on your bed." I yelled Vera's name so she knew to stop eavesdropping get Eliza's clothes out on the bed.
I heard her outside the door yelping, "oh!" as she ran off finishing her business. I laughed at my silly sister in law. Well shit I didn't know if Eliza and I were even going to get married or if she even was intending to ever but anyways Vera and Jocelyn in a way had became my sisters. I saw them through the bullshit and saw they were real.
"Why is your hair brown?" Eliza asked me.
"I had to change identities so it turns out dying my hair was apart of the process. Does the blonde turn you on more?" I joked.
"No-- You're always beautiful to me no matter what you're hair color is it's just that you don't look like yourself." well that hurt but I let Eliza get her feelings out. "but it doesn't matter you saved me twice now."
I didn't feel like talking about that time she tried to commit suicide and now when she was abducted by a madman. "did I tell you about the apartment? It was four rooms, a kitchen, a spacious bathroom and sooner or later your mother's dropping Gia off to the apartment after she and Santiago take him for a walk."
She shook her head, "no I don't want to see my mama, that woman is a mad person she's not right in the mind and if Santiago has any sense he'd know better to put himself back in jail before being with her."
I sucked my teeth; Sure Salome Robinson was a mad woman but she's not that woman she was. Careless or anything, she had became a better mother. "don't bad mouth your mom, she's grieving over you and you're not even dead." I helped her out the tub as she stepped into her slippers and I put her into her robe.
We go back to our room and saw our outfits with name cards on them in cursive. I had a cream white Yeezy sweatshirt dress hoodie and flat thigh highs with a grey beanie. Eliza had a camo "Thraser" sweatshirt dress hoodie with a few tears and grey thigh highs with no heels and a black Nike Cap. We kind of matched.
I'm glad Vera had a sense of style yet kept it kind of comfortable. I put my hair up in two buns, applying a nice coat of matte burgundy lipstick and lined my eyes. "don't forget the blush babe!" Vera yelled. "you gotta look alive, you two look like ghost."
I pushed Vera, rolling my eyes and smirking. "whatever V," I let Vera put a bit of blush over my cheekbones and contoured me nicely. We were landing as we were getting dressed. My dad and Ms. Honey weren't going off the plane though, they had enough drama and adventure to last them for a life time and used this time though out the mission to go on vacation together, they just wanted to sleep and stay in the house now after all that happened.
Eliza put up a fight when we tried to get her off the plane because we were going back to New Orleans instead of New York. I helped her into the car slowly, "Ashley?" Eliza spoke.
I looked at the frightened woman, the woman's hand I had been holding, the shaking woman, the surviving woman, "yes baby?" I replied back very compliant and willing to do whatever was her biding and anything she needed. Not as a submissive but as a girlfriend. "what is it?" I lower my voice so I don't scare her knowing she was so fragile at the point.
She pulled the sun shield down from the inside of the car, "Ashley please don't make me do anything today, I don't wanna go outside in front of all these people... This sun and I don't want to see anyone can we please just go to the apartment you rented?" Eliza asks more vulnerable than ever leaning her head down on my arm but instead I wrapped it around her then left a staining kiss on her forehead. The forehead I missed all too well.
I decided to be well understanding. "okay baby, fine, we don't have to go anywhere you don't want to go, we can order, do anything right from our house. Your mom will have dropped off some things she knows you like by the time we get there and you can just go to sleep but she really had your old room set for you, we'll work on that was later." after that I decided to shut up,I didn't want to talk to much to say something that would be really upsetting towards her.
We were driven straight to our new apartment house, it was big and beautiful. Even better than when I paid for it online, we lived in a secluded cabin where it looked really homey and somewhat supportive through all conditions except fire. House full of wood but we were safe at least. I wanted her to feel supported and not too feel too opened yet not too closed away from the world. We had a world and neighborhood about thirty minutes. Her mother was here and she didn't know, I asked Salome to park far away because somewhere inside Eliza had much more time with her mother than I ever did.
What I'd give to talk to my mother again. I wanted these two to be okay and maybe Eliza'd kick my ass for it but she'd get over it. A guard from the team opened the door for me and Eliza, helping us out. Earlier before we landed foot after leaving the plane I ordered an eight day guard of protection to make her feel safe-- Well to make myself feel safe Eliza would personally feel like she needed more I can only imagine.
Two cars were before and after us watching our apartment house. I held her hand as we walk past two guards in front of our doors, I unlocked the door before her. "baby this is going to be our new home for a while I hope you like it and--"
"Just show me the room." she demanded. This was life for Eliza now but I'd break her out of that, maybe it was time I be the Mistress now.
"Fine," I said rather sharp toned. I took her wrist gently leading Eliza up the stairs past the foyer and living room. Courtesy designing by your's truly Vera and Salome Robinson and placement by Finer's Placement Company for room lay out and interior decorating moving. I gave the placement guys such a big tip for the help besides their usual pay.
"at least let me show you the damn bathroom Eliza!"
I had walked Eliza into the bathroom showing her how to work the toilet (not shown in picture) and how the tub and sink worked.
Eliza wouldn't give me the time of day to show her around the rest of the house but for starters we had a library and two more guest rooms. The kitchen and everything else was just a work of art that Vera and Salome had done.
I finally stopped at the last room in the hallway where our room was. "room sweet room."
"It's not much but enjoy the room, okay? I'll be downstairs eating," I informed Eliza. I could see on her face a wet tear that stained her cheek. I sat Eliza down beginning to take off her shoes and hat then placed her under the covers and took off a few decorative pillows. "anything else I can do for you baby? Rub your feet, your stomach? Get soup even?"
But all Eliza did was shake her head to me before I was tucking her in, I left one more kiss on her forehead. I just wanted her to be okay and get back to normal but I'd take the good with the bad and make the best out of it. I made an entrance towards the library where Salome was sitting at with a up of coffee in her hand. "she doesn't feel like living?" Salome asked.
I shook my head. "no way in hell. Salome I'm not sure what to do, she's tired, fed up I wish I had saved her sooner. She won't see you but she's sleeping you know? She's going to have nightmares and I'm still pregnant I can't take care of everyone. Everyone's..." I couldn't finish. I couldn't breathe.
But Salome took my hand. "Everyone's going to back off of you, you will be okay. She's going to see that much, life goes on so like her's after she passes this shit phase you'll be back to fighting the world. Thank you Ashley, thank you for bringing her back to me-- What do I owe you in debts?"
I wasn't going to be sparing. "for the next nine years she lives you give your daughter back her vengeance, all your husbands and boyfriends. Any man that even so much as harmed her , said or even looked at her wrong you will end their line so that any piece of shit that was born down from that family may never see the light of day." Santiago never hurt Eliza so he was safe. "you will exterminate them all every year from this date on."
Salome just nodded.
"I'll see you later, I'm going to go downstairs and eat." with that I left.
Eliza POV
I never went to sleep but I eavesdropped from the walls that were hallow inside the very house. My mother was here, my girlfriend had spoke to her about some gruesome shit. I had caused this, I was-- No. AM, yeah that's right. I AM so selfish.
Was Ashley mad at me? Was mama mad at me? I can only guess and say yes but from here I can hear my mother's heels clonking. I pretended to sleep, "you aren't bullshitting anyone, but go ahead and pretend," I felt my mother sit on my bed. "I am shit, I am a shit mother. I never listened, I never wanted to listen. I am stupid. is what I've been waiting to say for the past seventeen years. I will not say sorry because that's not what you want to hear, but I'll state to you what I am for letting every man touch you."
Mama paused for a very long time. "now I am here to say I hope you can forgive me. I am happy to see you're okay. I love you and I am leaving because I know you don't feel the same. Close your eyes and just accept it even though you're not going to like it, I am stubborn mother." mama gets up from my bed, coming over to kiss my forehead and cheek before petting my hair back. But the child within me calls for her not to go and forgive her to see she knows she done wrong and now understands me. "I was taken advantage off too the day I lost my last husband."
I don't say anything but I wrap my arms around my mother for what seems to be the longest time. I don't let go until I feel her tear drops collecting on my cheek. "I can try ma, I can try..." is all I leave my mother with.
"We'll try again in a few more days," my mom pulls away but has a hard time when I can't unlatch my arms from around her waist. She goes eventually and from a while later I hear her pull off.
Ashley doesn't come back into the room that I thought we shared. Well that hurt because I know I heard her walk back up the stairs and turn the shower on then off. People thinking I should have space is not the case, I don't need space. I needed my girlfriend whom thought I was mad at her and my girlfriend whom I thought was mad at me. I didn't fucking need time! I didn't need space! I needed to be loved and reminded that things could be okay.
I was just stuck in this space. I was stuck. Stuck here. Stuck I was. Stuck I am. Stuck back then. Stuck here and stuck for a while. Ashley had to of been taking this harder than me? I couldn't be alone.
Was there not a single giant teddy bear around? I know Ashley liked the one I first bought her. I'd need a big something to get me through the loneliness. But I wanted to go in that room to be with my girlfriend but did I want her to be bothered by me and anything else I'd done to now affect my family.
I had no fuckks to give, I ran in the next guest room. It was too plain but it was bedded properly. It was warm with her inside it, under the covers and blonde hairs poking out. I could hear her sniffles. I got in under the covers with her as she was holding our dog. Gia has been so quiet-- She didn't come to my room? Did my dog even know me anymore? My scent? Ashley must have taken care of no one but Gia.
The only words left spoke of tonight's chapter remaining of me and Ashley were my "I'm sorry." in her ears. I slept with my girlfriend. I hope she knew only knew how much I love her and that my sorry ass would fix things for her one at a time.
Tomorrow when I wake up. Would be a new... Brand new day.
(NOT EDITED, ONLY HALF-ASSSCED EDITED BECAUSE IT'S 11:49 TO 12:00 SO BEAR WITH ME. BUT THEY ARE TOGETHER. DON'T WORRY I'LL MEND ASH AND ELLE , THEY WON'T BE SO MESSED UP. BUT LEAVING AS A CAPTIVE IS LIKE A SOILDER LEAVING A TOUR FROM IRAQ. SO THEY'RE KIND OF JUST OUT OF IT BUT THERE WILL BE HAPPY FACES AND RECOVERY. BTW CURSING IS MISPELLED ON PURPOSE SO I DON'T GET THIS CHAPTER DELETED AT ALL WITH NO CHANCES)