"I want to tell my mother." I blurt out quickly as soon as my body sits down next to his on the large white sofa.
His eyes are closed and his head is later back.
"I'm pretty sure she gets the picture that we're going out." He says.
"No, that's not what I mean." I tell him.
I want to tell my mother everything that had happened. Starting the what happened at the party to now.
His head shoots up and his almost back to green eyes meet mine.
"you want to tell her about today?"
I nod. "And everything that has happened."
His mouth opens slightly and his eyes look away from mine. He blinks a couple times before swallowing hard.
"Is that necessary?" He asks. His gaze is still glaring onto the rug and chews on his bottom lip.
"Yes, it is. I can only imagine how she'll react when she gets the phone call from school."
I already know what she'll do. She'll throw a tantrum and point her finger in my face while screaming until her neck veins are visible. She'll hold everything against me and say it's my fault for being a 'whore' for even going up those stairs that night.
Harry doesn't answer.
"Harry," I call out to him. "Should I not tell her?" I ask him.
He chuckles quietly. "She so fucking stubborn, Beth. Will she even believe you?"
He's sort of right.
She probably won't believe since it's been so long that I've kept it hidden away from telling people. She'll probably think I'm just lying again to cover up any story as to the things that occurred today and school.
I hate that It will be hard to gain Backyard mothers trust. I hate lying to her, I really do. But sometimes telling her the truth
will even be worse than having to face the consequence of my lie.
I miss the times when I wouldn't have anything to hide against my parents.I mean, I know I still hide the fact that I love art and photography..but I never lied or held anything against my parents that was so big and life changing.
"Beth." Harry's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "Don't get upset about it." He pads his thumb across my cheek, wiping an unexpected tear that I didn't know has fallen.
Another tear starts to roll down but I catch it quickly before it falls. "I just hate this." I tell him.
"I hate everything. I hate that this all had to happened. Why me?"
I've always wondered. Why did all of this have to happen to me? I just had to move here and this is the place where everything and everyone began falling apart. My family is ruined, and now y chances of ever being able to 'fit in' or be just like the people around me are slightly impossible.
"It's just," I sniffle. "Just as I thought everything was getting back to normal and I was starting to get just a little happy again this just had to happened." I wave my hands in the air.
The tears start to fall faster and I place my head into my hands to cover my face .
"It's okay." I feel Harry's warm hand on my back and he strokes it up and down. "It'll be okay." He whispers.
I lift my head back up and brush my hair out of my face.
"No it won't. My life Is ruined, Harry. Those pictures clearly show the opposite of what really happened. They clearly show the opposite of me and for that, my life is ruined.-" I look over at the empty fire place and take a deep breath to try and calm down.
"When I came here I wanted to start over. Just to have people like me for me and not just because of all of what I have. When you would constantly make rude remarks towards me I will shatter just a little inside, just because I though it would become nearly impossible to achieve a life just like everyone else's. But then you started to become nicer towards me-" I can't help but smile. The thought of Harry wing by my side makes me happy. "And then everything was seemed to be getting better. Then the nightmares came and things fell back down. Then they stopped and everything was fine and now today, it's back down again. This is a freaking roller coaster that I just want to get off of because I don't know how much longer I can deal with it." The tears have finally stopped falling but my voice is still hoarse. My hands still tremble in my lap as I try to stay calm I look down at them and start to pick off my nail polish. I stop when Harry takes his hand in mine and intertwines our fingers.
"Look," I look up at him and his eyes are now back to their green but hold sorriness in them. "I know a lot of shit has happened to you since you came here. None of that should have happened to you, you know that don't you?" He places a strand of hair behind my ear. I nod.
"I know I was a dick to you before and I've said some things I shouldn't have but that was before I got to know you. I regret.." He pauses to look away. "I regret not getting to know you before all of the stupid shit I did to you." He looks back up at me with his still, sorry eyes. "I'm sorry and I wish that none of it had to Happen, you didn't deserve it." He pauses.
I hope he knows that most of this isn't his fault. The beginning part, maybe. But for the rest, he's been nothing but helpful about it all.
"And I promise you," he squeezes my hand tighter. "I will always be by your side."
My heart melts and I smile widely at him. He smiles back and I let go of his hand to wrap my arms around him.
"Thank you," I nuzzle my head into his neck and squeeze tighter. "for always being there. For not hurting me."
--
Harry's POV
"And I promise you," her glass looking eyes look up at me. "I will always be by your side."
I mean it. I may be a dick sometimes but no matter how distant, or if anything comes across in the future that makes her come to hate me, I'll still be there.
Her beautiful smile spreads across her face and I can't help but smiling back at her. She let's go of my hand, leaving it cold and empty. Her arms wrap around my neck and I bring mine to wrap around her waist.
"Thank you," she nuzzles her face into to crook of my neck and I can still feel her smiling "for always being there. For not hurting me."
'For not hurting me.'
God dammit.
I stay put and just hold her. She loosens up her grip after seconds of holding onto my tight.
"There's one more thing I need to ask you," she points out. She places hair behind her ear and she seems to have already forgotten about we little breakdown she had just minutes ago.
I nod, continuing for her to go on.
"Tiffy," she sighs out. Just hearing Tiffy's name makes me want to throw something across the fucking wall. Everything would've been fine is she hadn't did this. No one would get closer to figuring out that..
"What did she say to you?" She asks.
"What do you mean,"
"When you yelled at her in school, she said something back.." Fuck. "What did she say?"
"Oh, she was just being a bitch an making a joke of it."
"Oh," is all she said.
I place my hand on her shoulder to make her look back up at me.
"Don't worry about her anymore." I assure her and she gives me a half smile and nods.
There's a brief moment of silence as we both stare at the blank television screen before us.
I can't stop thinking about what happened back at school. I didn't think Tiffy would actually do something like this. All I wanted was a fucking yes or no answer and she goes all ape shit on one of the things that can break Beth down even more then she already has.
My temper was completely lost once I saw that little fucker touch her. My feet were off of the ground within seconds and my need to slam him against that wall uncontrollable.
My hands around that little dicks neck was the most satisfying thing I have ever done. Seeing his face go purple and seeing his need for air made me smile. I know I sound creepy as fuck but he deserved it. If Beth hadn't come over to stop me I don't think I would have had the chance not to. I kept on seeing pictures of him trying to touch her do things to her that she didn't want to. I kept on seeing people taking advantage of what she has because of the way that fucking picture makes her out to be.
I feel some type of protectiveness towards her. I feel like I need to be around her just in case something were to happen, she needs me. I'll be there, I'll be there to help her through whatever the fuck she needs and I'll be damn glad to. I'll be the one to take away the pain and make her feel happy for a while before more shit comes tumbling down on her.
"What's going to happen with school?" She randomly says an I focus my attention back onto her. "I know I won't be able to go back for a while." She looks down at her hands.
I've noticed that every time she's nervous or upset she does this. She'll pick at the obnoxiously blue fucking nail polish and make bits of it fall to the floor.
"They have an online class thing for out school. You can catch up the work and shit all on there." I tell her.
Out school has their heads so far up their asses and seem to have the need to have the most expensive and high tech shit.
"That's good, I have a lot of thing To catch up on." She groans and lays her head back. "What about you?"
"I don't do that online bullshit it's stupid."
"No. I mean, how much trouble are you going to get in?" I haven't actually thought about that. But I can give two shits,
"probably get suspended." I shrug and she frowns.
"Maybe if they know that you were just helping me that they'll-"
"Beth, It wasn't you. I cursed out the fucking principal." I laugh at the memory and she playfully pushes my arm.
"You shouldn't have done that!" she scolds.
"I regret nothing. I fucking hate that guy." I think about all of the times he's suspended me for the most stupidest shit. "He was going to think that was all my fault. He would somehow put all of the blame on me for what happened back there, I know it. And that little fucker deserved every single ounce of breath I took away from him."
"I don't blame him for that"
"What?" I snap at her.
"I mean, I look easy in that photo, Harry. I don't blame him for thinking of me in that way."
"I don't give a shit, he should've kept his fucking mouth shut and he shouldn't have touched you."
"don't get mad. I understand that he shouldn't have done or said anything to me but the reputation I seem to have at the school isn't what I have planned. I even have a nickname." Her head drops at the thought.
"They call me easy A," she tries to laugh it off but I know she's hurt.
"Fuck them." Is all I can say To her.
I wish I can say more but I can't. I can't help but think that how none of this should've happened in the first place. How, how everything could've been stopped before it started.
"Want something to drink?" She stands from the couch and goes over the large kitchen. I stand up to walk behind her.
"Sure." I say and she opens the fridge and scans through the varieties of choices. "Waters fine." She grabs a water bottle and tosses it my way and grabs one for herself.
"What time does your mom come home?" We've been here for over an hour already. The time seems to be quickening by the minute and I'm not in no rush for her needy ass mother to nag at me.
"Seven." She says.
I look at my watch and it's only ten.
"I wanna show you something." She smiles suspiciously and walks back to the couch to grab her bag.
She walks over to me again with the smile still on her face.
"Come on," she walks past me and jogs up the steps and down the hall into her room!
(Thank you guys for commenting on the last chapter! Now that you've done that, I will be double updating tonight! But, the update will be very late, I warn you.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)
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