m a y a
I slowly opened my eyes as I let out a small groan. My body felt sore as I tried to move my legs. I quietly cursed under my breath as I moved my hand in front of my eyes to block the sun beaming in through the blinds. I looked down and my body was sprawled on top of Lucas's torso. I moved away and peaked over my bed. Half of his clothes were on the floor next to the door and so were mine from yesterday. I looked down at my body and I was in his shirt that was really oversized on me. I didn't wanna talk anymore. I just wanted to feel his body close to mine. Like it used to be.
My head was screwed up and he was the reason. I cautiously got up from my bed and stretched my limbs. I didn't know what to think anymore. This guy met the world to me but he could easily destroy it in a matter of seconds.
Josh and Lucas were two different guys yet they both easily forgot about me with other girls.
I pushed my body up but was stopped by the tug on the shirt. I frowned in confusion as I noticed Lucas was holding onto it. He appeared knocked out and as much as I wanted to rip away from him I couldn't. I quietly pulled myself back in bed and rested my head on his chest.
I laid there. I tried to close my eyes but I could hear his heart beating which diverted my attention. I silently counted in my head every time I would hear a thump.
My blue orbs looked up at the male as he laid there asleep restlessly. I looked at all his distinguished features. That's when I felt his heart slow down.
"You're staring." He mumbled groggily as his eyes slowly opened to reveal his emerald green orbs.
"I can do what I want, huckleberry." I rolled my eyes as he looked down at me with a hazy smile.
"Are we gonna talk?" He managed to mumble as he closed his eyes again.
"We did talk." I looked away from him and rested my head back on his chest looking at the paint on the wall. The drawings on the wall that I had painted lit up my room. They made me feel content.
"Oh. We did more than just talk-" I elbowed him on the side which caused him to groan behind a muffled chuckle. "I'm serious."
"So am I. Can we just forget it?" I said rather quickly as an attempt to move on from the subject.
"Maya," He grabbed my hand which made me look up at him again. "I don't want you to cover up your feelings."
"What do you want from me, Lucas?" I got up and pulled away from his grasp. I pulled his shirt off my body and threw it towards him as I looked for clothes. I put on a loose white shirt and high waisted jeans without saying a word to Lucas.
I walked out my room and let out an angry sigh. I was soon stopped by Lucas rushing out of my room fully clothed in the clothes from last night in record time. He was trying to fix his shirt as he walked towards me.
"What do I want from you, Maya? I want you to feel something! Feel sad! Feel angry! Feel anything." He exclaimed as he grabbed onto my hand pulling me into him.
"I'm forgetting it.. Isn't that what you wanted? Me to forget that ever happened. I'm moving on so should you!" I yelled back feeling my blood boil. "Why can't we just both be happy? I'm allowed to be happy."
"Cause you're not happy!" His voice rose which surprised me as I pulled away from his grasp. My mind slowly went into a dark place as I remembered hearing yelling. In the corner of my eye I could see Riley emerge from her room with a worried look on her face.
"I did a really really shitty thing and when it happened I felt like a complete asshole. I expected you, my girlfriend, to be pissed. I expected you to let out all the anger that is pent up in that body of yours instead of kissing me! I don't want you to cover up your feelings when you're with me.. ever." His voice became quieter as soon as he realized how loud he had got.
"I'm scared." I whispered as I looked up at him. "As much as I wanna scream at you and that girl about the whole thing. I-I cant. I'm scared that you are gonna leave me. I'm scared that like everything good in my life you are gonna walk out. I don't wanna be the reason why you walk out of my life. You promised this would be forever."
"Maya." He said softly as he came closer to me. "I would never leave you. You mean the world to me. If it was up to me I would stay with you forever but it's not up to me.. It's up to you. I understand if things won't be the same but I want to make sure you aren't hiding how you really feel. No matter what we are I will always be here for you."
"I-I.." The simple letter sputtered out my mouth as I looked up into his worried eyes. "Why did you kiss her?"
"I didn't mean the kiss. I didn't mean any of it. It was the heat of the moment. I'm not gonna lie and say it was her fault cause I was the one who kissed her first."
"I wanna talk to her."
a s t r i d
The whole day yesterday my sister didn't dare speak a word to me and I didn't bother trying to start a conversation either. I somehow was to blame for the kiss and I knew my sister wouldn't listen to me. All she knows is that Lucas and I kissed.
I wanted to call or meet up with him and talk about it instead of avoiding the situation, but I knew he had more important things to deal with than just me. Any day he would pick Maya over me. I was just a girl he had met in a public speaking college class and got partnered up together. Him and her had history. Those two had been best friends since they were in middle school.
I ran my fingers threw my curled brown hair. I was just angry in that moment. My sister didn't trust me. She never trusted me. I spent my whole life protecting someone who didn't need saving.
I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard footsteps from the other room and quickly grabbed my phone to look somewhat occupied. I could see my sister walk into the room and stop in the doorframe for a second looking at me then walk past me in the corner of my eye.
"You're not gonna say anything?" Her voice caused me to look over at her as she grabbed the cereal in the pantry.
"Oh I have a lot to say but I'm just not gonna." I chuckled bitterly as I turned back around and played the game on my phone.
"I don't understand why you are acting so bitchy?" I rolled my eyes at her words as I pretended not to care.
"Does it matter?" I sharply responded as she walked over and sat at the table across from me.
"You basically ruined someone's relationship."
"You don't even know the whole story."
"You two kissed? Yeah that's as much as I need to know."
"So if Lucas kissed you then what would happen?"
She laughed.
"There would be no kiss. Period. I would never give Lucas the impression that I had feelings for him especially when he was in a relationship. There are so many people you could've liked but you chose Lucas."
"I can't help who I like, Sienna. It's not even that serious you say it like I'm in love with him or something. He is a great guy and anyone could see that."
"Well then I hope you've gotten over this little crush."