Harry's POV
As soon as I dropped off Beth I had to get to Tiffy. I just have to explain to her that I'm not into any of this shit anymore and I want no part in it.
I want to try to convince her to just forget about everything that happened. To just, put it in the past and leave it there so it doesn't fucking haunt me for the rest of my life.
I speed down the highway, the anger and regret boiling inside of me.
If only i could go back in time and change every moment that happened. to Change my actions and words.
I don't feel like the same person anymore after all of the shit happened. I don't feel like doing the same things I used to enjoy just months ago.
After an hour of driving to the crack house where she usually is, I open the house door angrily as I pace quickly to the room that I know she is in.
I open the door and the hinge seems to be falling off. The door creeks as it opens and it makes Tiffy and the other shitty looking girl look up at me as they puff onto their cigarettes.
This house is always so damn dirty and smells like death and shit all of the time. The smell of the cigarettes makes the air thicken and I glare at Tiffy as she smirks at me.
I roll my eyes at her and the girl leaves the room and shuts the door behind her.
I hear Tiffy laugh and I turn back to look at her. "Done with her already?" She remarks and I walk closer to her.
I blame Tiffy for a lot of things. But not for this; I don't blame her for thinking that I'm fucking with Beth. Usually when I'm seen with an attractive girl people already assume that I'm fucking them.
"I didn't come here to talk about that." I say through my teeth. The anger inside of me seems to be boiling.
"Oh," she stands up from the bed and walks closer to me. "Well then let's gets to it, then." She smirks and tugs at the bottom of my shirt. I grab her wrists off of me and shove them away.
She goes to grab it again.
"No," I yell at her and her eyes widen at me.
"Oh really. Well I'm sure little miss-"
"Stop." I interrupt her.
She folds her arms over her chest and waits for me to continue.
"I can't do this," I say quickly and quietly as I turn away to not look at her.
"I'm sorry," she says and hold her ear to act as if she didn't hear me. "What was that?"
She's really fucking testing me right now.
"I said I can't do this. I can't and I won't. This ends now." I say and she throws her head back in laughter.
"You seem to be forgetting something." She says, the smile still present on her pale face.
"I didn't forget. There has to be something else that you want. Something other then me to keep your big ass mouth shut about everything."
I'm hoping she'll think of something. Anything really, just to keep her quiet about everything.
My hope disappears when her head shakes back and forth, making her black hair swing with her. "Nope, just say it youself. Just get It over with-"
"It's not that fucking simple." I cut her off. "Do even realize how much I've been dreading all of this.." I tug at my hair.
"You.." She begins and stops. A small smile plays on her lips. "You've fallen for her haven't you." I don't answer her.
"What happened to the whole 'I don't love, I have fun' speach." She mocks the words that I've said years ago. She starts to clap and my annoyance level starts to rise. "Congratulations" she sarcastically remarks.
"Listen," i take a deep breath and her clapping stops. "I'm already giving some people money to keep their mouths shut too. Is that what you want? Money?"
I've got two people right now who are willing to keep their mouths shut. Now, only Tiffy and..him remain left to bribe.
"I'll think about it." She says and turns her back away from me.
"No. No I need to know right now." I point to the ground to signal her that I need to know this instant.
"Don't pressure me." She turns her head back and looks at me but she still continues to walk to the other side of the room. "You'll know my answer. Tomorrow, at school. The answer will be so clear just as if it were on the walls being shown to you." She says.
What the fuck does that even mean.
I keep my mouth shut for a moment. I wasn't even planning on going to school tomorrow, just because Beth isn't going.
"Okay well where do we meet?" I ask and she turns her body around to face me fully.
"Don't worry, I'll definitely be there. Waiting for you in the hallway." She smirks and I almost vomit.
I still don't know what the fuck I was thinking of when I started hooking up with her.
I leave the room and slam the door behind me. The girl who was in there previously stares at me she's wearing only a bra and shorts that almost shows her ass.
"Can I help you?" I ask her and she smiles.
"Nope. Want some?" She holds out the cigarette and I give her a dirty look. I shake my head and go to walk away.
"Lighten the fuck up," I hear her say behind me. "You look like shit."
I look like shit? Is she serious?
"Get a fucking shirt." I spit back. Her face drops. "You look like a fucking whore." Her jaw drops and she gasps and I walk out the door and get back into my car.
Beth's POV
"Mom, did I say something wrong? Are you alright?" I walk closer to her.
"Give me a minute." She leans her hands on the island.
"Mom-"
"I said give me a damn minute," she holds up a finger, signaling for me to be quiet.
After a couple of seconds of her looking at the floor and shutting her eyes she looks up at me.
"What the hell is on your neck?" My mom says trough gritted teeth and my heart races.
Make out session.
Harry.
Hickey.
I quickly grab the hair that I moved to one side to cover it even though it's too late.
I'm so stupid. How could I forget?
"Answer me." She demands.
I've lied to her multiple times today and it'll only make matter worse to lie to her again.
"I-mom, i-"
"You weren't at Abby's last night were you?" She interrupts me and I can tell she's trying not to loose her temper. Her eyebrows are together and a vein seems to be growing out of her neck. She wants to scream at me, I know she does.
I shake my head lightly and turn to look away from her. Her heavy breathing is the only sound being heard during the silence. I've never seen her so angry.
"With that boy, am I right? Was it Harry?" She yells and her patience is running lower and lower and she's about to explode any moment now.
I take a long pause before answering her.
"Yes," I whisper. I shut my eyes and I wish this was just one of my nightmares. I wish I can just wake up and verify that none of it was real but I can't, this is really happening.
"You need to start acting like a woman, young lady! I'm tired of the way you have been disrespecting me! I've given you everything, what else do you want from me?" She screams and I frown at her.
"Disrespecting you? you? Mom, if anyone is being disrespectful it's you! You constantly yell at me for things that I do, things that I want to do!" I yell back. She's taken back by my words. "You judge people by their looks and personalities, that makes you disrespectful! And news flash mom, I don't want anything from you! Stop bribing me with your luxury because I don't want any of it! I'm tired of you thinking that everything revolves around the money you have." I try to lower my voice but the anger inside of me builds up and becomes almost impossible.
She just stares at me with wide eyes. Shock is still spread across her face and I want to say more things to her, but it will only break her down and that's not what I want to do.
"I did not raise you to become..to become this..whore!" She yells back and I gasp.
The tears prickle my eyes and I slowly back away from her.
"What?" I ask her. I need to know if what she said was right, my own mother just called me a whore.
"You're going to party's, coming home drunk, falling behind in school ad acting like a little whore and I'm sick of it!" She screams louder and I look away from her and walk towards the door.
"Come back here!" I hear her yell and I know she's chasing after me by the clicking of her heels getting louder as I pace towards the door.
"Where do you think you're going?" She screams again and grabs my arm. I turn around to face her.
"Let go of me." I snatch my arm away from her grasp. I turn to walk towards the door and I slam it shut behind me. The tears roll down my cheeks, it feels hot against my cold cheeks.
I don't know where I'm going.
I'm not sure if I should feel guilty or not. I know I've been acting different lately but maybe it's not different, maybe this is the real me who's been wanting to escape away from what she's wanted me to be for a long time.
Whore.
Whore.
Whore.
The words keep replaying through my mind. I cry harder When her voice keeps replaying through my head. Never in my life would I have thought my mother would talk to me that way and call me such names. It hurts me, I've never felt any type of pain in my chest until now.
I grab the keys out of my pocket and walk to my car. I open the door and slam it shut as I sit Down. on the black seats.
I start the car but I don't move. What am I doing?
I feel like I'm disappointing everyone who surrounds me. I know Abby is disappointed in how I haven't taken her her advice to stay away from Harry. And now my own mother..is calling me whore. She's disappointed in me for behaving the way I have.
But the thing is, I don't regret any of it. I don't regret kissing harry, I don't regret spending time with him. The only thing I do regret is going to those parties, especially that night.
I back out of the driveway and decide to go to the one person I know I can talk to without judging me. Him.
I wipe the tears away as I drive down the long wooded road. The headlights are the only light that is seen and the blurriness form my crying makes it difficult to see.
I haven't heard from Harry since he's dropped me off earlier. This morning was all strange. How he was angry on the phone and then spoke to me as of nothing happened. I still wonder who he was talking to but I try to not give it much thought.
The drive to his apartment building seems longer then I thought. The feeling of being alone right now and having no one to talk to is dreading me.
Once I arrive at his apartment building I quickly get out of the car and run into the air conditioned building.
Maybe I should have called first. What of he isn't even home?
I get into the elevator and a red haired woman with a little boy is inside. I press Harry's floor number and rest my head on the wall of the elevator.
"Mommy? Why is the girl crying?" I hear the little boy say and I look at him and his mother tells him to be quiet. She gives me an apologetic look.
I give her a small smile to assure her that it's fine. The bell rings and the doors open to her floor and they leave me alone in the elevator.
I wipe my tears that I haven't known of falling away. I sniffle and I feel like screaming.
I'm just so sick and tired of being judged and criticized for every little thing that I do that doesn't please the others around me.
I told my mom ready that I'm going to make mistakes and that I will learn from them. She seems to have understood when I told her but judging by the way she yelled and called me names that were uncalled for, makes me realize that she didn't. She never will. She will always want me to be something that I'm not. I will never be the perfect American teenage daughter who will go to college and get a degree for law and become rich like her and my father.
The doors open and the red walls and black carpet seem to make me feel more at home rather then the walls and white furniture in my home.
I walk down the hall and stop when I reach his door. I hesitate to knock. What if he doesn't want me to even be here?
I'll leave if he gives me any single clue that he wants to be alone. I take the chance and knock on the door. He doesn't answer. I try knocking again just a little louder just in case he didn't hear It the first time but there no answer again.
He must not be home yet. I lean against the walk and slide down and sit on the floor to wait for him.
I probably look like a little lost puppy. Sitting here on the floor and looking up at the door like a dog would for a treat or something.
I look pathetic.
Maybe I should just leave and act as if nothing-
"Beth?" I hear Harry's deep voice call and I immediately snap my head in his direction.
I stand off of the floor and brush the back of my shorts with my hands.
"Sorry, i thought you would be home I didn't-"
"Have you been crying." He walks closer to me as places a hand on my cheek. His warm hand wipes across my cheeks as where the tears have fallen.
I don't answer him. I stand still and rest my face onto his large warm hand.
"C'mon." He walks away from me and puts his key into the door and opens it up and steps inside and I follow behind him.
(. PLEASE READ!!
HEY GUYS! Sorry for not updating in a couple of days, I've been kind of busy and I didn't want to make a crappy chapter in the little time that I had for myself.
I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't as long as you guys wanted it to be but I tried :) and some of you guys have been asking if I write the chapters before I post them and the answer is no. I have the entire set up in my head and i just write as I go :)
Also, if anyone is wondering what Beth's house looks like, this is it :) just click the link!
http://ronemyhoustonmajic.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/big-house.jpg
Lastly, I know I say this a lot but thank you for voting, reading, etc.
I have over 16,000 reads and that's amazing!
The only thing I wish you guys would do more is comment!
Just give me some feedback on what you like and what you don't like :)
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