*two months later, Your POV*
It was a week and a half before your time was up. Crowley kept up his part of the deal, so no doubt, you were going to keep yours. When the hounds came, you'd be scared of course, if they did come.
You'd been living happily, a normal "apple pie life", as Dean would say— for the past month and a half. Instead of being (Name) Thomas, you were Jax Anderson. Crowley did as you requested. Twenty four years old, waiter at the diner down the road down from your temporary house in (State). You had friends, people you'd love to know and keep hanging out with, but you can't avoid the inevitable.
In the beginning, it was strange. You, at first, forgot you weren't "you." You were Jax; a newcomer from Texas, you told people. No doubt, it was hard getting used to seeing a mans face instead of your girlish appearance, especially in the morning. But as time rolled on, it got easier. You laughed, you smiled, genuinely for the first time in years. You laughed with the boys too, but over time...the years became more tough, more heartbreaking. Bad, hard, however you want to put it.
You missed them. In the next couple of days, you could see them again. You could see Cas, you could see Dean, most importantly, you could see the love of your life.
Sam.
It was late, so you went to bed, not bothering with a shower. You had spent the day working a double shift because Ashley is sick. But knowing her somewhat, she probably didn't want to come into work for some stupid ass reason. You smelled of coffee, greasy food, and sweat. 'Just a few more days...' You reminded yourself.
Settling down into your bed, you were out like a light.
~~~~few days later~~~~~~
You slumbered out of bed, ignoring your too big clothes draped on your body. Headed for the shower, you ran your hands through your hair. Feeling the long (hair color), wavy hair, instead of your short shaggy hair, you ran to the bathroom to examine yourself in the mirror.
'No way....' You thought. Your muscular features have been replaced by your original feminine looks.
"Oh my god..." You whispered. A million things ran through your mind at once. What were you going to do about your job? What were your neighbors going to think? What's going to happen now?
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" You shouted. You could see Sam. Even thinking about him made your heart flutter. You could see your boys again. But first, you had to talk to Crowley.
"CROWLEY!" You shouted, again. You didn't bother with the summoning spell. It took too much time and you didn't feel like gathering the materials.
"Why, hello love," Crowley greeted as he appeared in your room. "I see you're back to your original, gorgeous self." You ignored his comment, going straight to business.
"Tell the boys." You said. "I have a week left and..." You trailed off, rushing over to your desk, "I want to see all of them." You pulled out a piece of paper, scribbling down your address, some other things and handing it to Crowley. "Find them. Whatever crappy motel they're in or if they're at the bunker, I don't care. Find them." You commanded. Crowley glared at you, as you made him your bitch. Taking the letter, he looked over it before putting it in his pocket.
"As you wish, your highness." He sassed. Did he just mock himself?
"Funny Crowley." You sighed. "I'll see you in a week."
~~~~
*Sam's POV*
It's been almost two months and there's no trace of (Name). No leads, no hints. Nothing. These past couple of months have been hell for me. Deans told me to stop looking, cause like we've been told, she doesn't want to be found. I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. 'Where could she be?' I thought. I'm not going to give up. Sighing, I return to my laptop, searching for anything.
*knock, knock, knock*
My head snapped up in confusion. Who the hell could be knocking? Deans here and so is Cas. Grabbing my gun I walked up the stairs towards the bunkers main door, I aim my weapon at our visitor.
"Hello, moose. That's not very polite." Crowley smirked.
"Crowley." I snapped, disbelief filling my body. "What're you doing here?"
"Ah, you see, Moose, I have a message for you boys, from your truly beloved." He smiled, waving around a piece of paper. For a few moments, I wanted to break down, the other half wanted to kick Crowley's ass.
"Get in." I snapped.
~~(Time skip brought to you by pizza)~~
An hour later, all four of us were gathered in the library.
"So, you're saying, she only has a week left?" I asked, trying to fight tears.
"She wanted two months. She also requested that in the last week, she got to see you three boys. So if I were you, I'd get moving." Crowley responded, pacing the room. "You know, I found it quite sweet, how she wanted to give up her life for the man she loves. Quite touching, makes me all tingly where the sun doesn't shine." He chuckled.
"Dude, gross." Dean said, giving Crowley a bitch face. "Did she say anything else?"
"Hm, well.." Crowley started packing the room again, going around the large oak table, standing next to me. "She said something along the lines of, 'Dean would never be the same again. He needs Sam. That he cares obviously more about Sam than her, so it wouldn't hurt as much'. But," Crowley stopped turning to me. "She cares so much about you moose, that she even offered to take her soul and make her a demon. I believe she's going to be one of my best." He smirked, chucking to himself. "Although, that wasn't my —" Crowley was interrupted by a fist to the face. My fist. I couldn't help it, he was talking about the girl of my dreams like she was some type of chew toy. "What in BLAZES was that for?!"
"You talk to much." I turn to go to my room and pack. (Name) is in two states over. No matter what happens, I'm not going to lose her to this deal.
~~~~~~~~
*Your POV*
For the past day, you've been lounging around, doing nothing but watching Netflix and avoiding people you knew. It was breaking you in half. You wanted to run out the door and yell for them to come back, the other half wanted to wait for Sam. So there you sat, munching on popcorn and watching (fav tv show).
*knock, knock, knock*
"Who could it be this time?" You said out loud to yourself. You got up off your couch, walking slowly to your front door. Peering out the window, you saw three figures, waiting, facing each other to see if you're actually there. You couldn't believe it, well you could, they found you.
Slowly, you dropped your blanket, grabbing the handle and opening it, making sure you hid behind the door. Suspiciously, the three figures crept into your house.
Once the last figure was inside, you closed the door quietly.
"Hello, Boys." You greeted, your voice cracking, tears threatening to spill over.
"(Name)." They all said in unison as they spun back around to the door.
--// small time brought to you by weird affectionate eye staring//--
"(Name).." Sam said, coming over and engulfing you into his arms.
"Hi." You greeted, your voice small.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Sam asked. He's mad, but he stayed calm.
"Dean wouldn't have made it without you, Sam." You cried, pulling away.
You led them into the living room. The house was small, but it was cozy.
"So, you wanna explain..?" Sam asked patiently.
The boys sat down on your couch, while you stood, pacing back and forth. "When we...when we went on that hunt two months ago, I didn't expect there to be more than one. We were all fighting, busting out asses trying to keep each other alive while ganking those bitches," you paused, steadying yourself from shaking. "There was a couple of demons ganging up on Cas at the time. I looked at both of you; Sam had himself covered and so did Dean. So I rushed over to Cas, killed them and then..." You wiped tears off your cheeks, trying to not let the boys see how much that night tore you apart, "then Sam was being stabbed in the stomach. I ran as quick as I could, taking down the demon that killed you. All I felt that night was rage. I looked down at you, trying to keep the blood from seeping out, to keep you alive..." You stopped, looking at the floor.
"But you couldn't, there wasn't anything you could do to help." Sam said.
You nodded. "It's...it was all my fault. If I didn't help Cas, none of us would be having this conversation."
Dean got up, walking around and eventually stopping in front of you. "But it wasn't, it isn't, (Name)." Sighing, he put his hands on your shoulders. "Don't you ever think you're not important to me, you're apart of this family. And...I couldn't lose you. You're like the sister I never wanted. And uh...I love you too." He looked down at his feet.l, a little embarrassed at this chick flick moment. You didn't say anything, you just hugged him.
"Thank you, Dean. But trust me, you wouldn't have been the same."
"What do you mean?" He said as you pulled away.
"Two months ago, the last two nights you saw me, you were completely wasted. I dragged you to your bed somehow and tucked you in. Making sure you were okay. I couldn't lose you either." You shrugged. Silence grew between the four of you, no one knowing what to say.
After a few moments, Sam cleared his throat, breaking the silence.
"So how come we couldn't find you?" He asked, shrugging. "I mean, we looked everywhere. There was no leads, no signs, nothing. And then, you just...appear out of nowhere?" The look on his face was a broken one, despair filling the cracks.
"To disappear without a trace, you must outsmart Sam Winchester." You said with a smirk on your face. Dean chuckled and you let a giggle slip through your lips.
"But how?" Sam asked, curiosity getting the best of him. He flopped back into the couch, running his hands through his brown locks.
"Do you forget that I know you, Sam?" You smiled. "I know how you are, just like I know Dean and Cas. So all i had to do, was live the apple pie life..."
--//flash back//--
"One more thing Crowley, then it can be sealed.." You trailed off.
"There it is. Just like a true Winchester. Well?" Crowley sassed at you.
"Sam lives out the rest of his life, I get two months." You said.
"Interesting. Why two months? What's your thinking, dear?" He inquired.
"Two months, living a normal life. Different gender in some normal town. Somewhere nice. Towards the end of my two months, you tell them where I am. Address, name, or hell, just make me my original gender for the last week." You paused, gathering yourself , "I don't want to be found, that's my thinking. Not yet. Only you would know, Crowley."
"hmm," Crowley grunts, pacing back and forth. "Two months, without Moose or Squirrel, not even Angel of Thursday? My, my, my..." As he stops, he turns to look at you, "What's in it for me?"
"My soul, being twisted into a demon, so unrecognizable, I'll be your best soldier in hell. With me by your side, nothing would stop you. Not heaven, not Sam or Dean, no one." You snapped, you didn't want to, but if it meant Sam lived, then you had to. Crowley started pacing back in forth, considering what was just offered.
"Deal or no deal, Crowley?" You pressured, you knew you had him.
"Deal." He said without a second to spare.
--//End of Flashback//--
"You...you became a guy?" Dean stuttered, like he couldn't believe the words that came out of your mouth.
"Yup. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I mean, the girls hitting on me was at first a bit, weird. Hell, even guys hitting on me was...awkward." You laughed, shaking your head. "Today and yesterday have been the first days I've been, well, me." You said, waving at your body.
"Do you have a picture?" Cas asked outbid the blue. Yours, Sam's and Dean's heads snapped in Cas' direction, stunned, even at a little innocent questioned.
"Uh- yeah, yeah I do actually." You stuttered as you pulled out your phone from your back pocket. "here." You showed Cas a picture of you as a man — short (hair color), dazzling (eye color) eyes, wide heartfelt smile. Slight scruff.
"Hm..not bad, for a guy, I suppose." Cas said, nonchalantly.
Shrugging your shoulders, you agreed.
"Hey! I wanna see!" Sam and Dean said in unison.
"Geez, bossy much?" You rolled your eyes as you showed the boys, which caused you to get glares from the two.
"Cas is right, not bad (name)." Dean seemed impressed.
"What was your name?" Sam asked, only wanting answers.
"Jax Anderson."
"That's creative." Dean mumbled, mostly to himself.
"More creative that the names you come up with." You snapped, looking at Dean when he realized you heard him. He was going to respond, but he decided to close his mouth as soon as he opened it.
"anyways, what do we do now?" Sam asked, sadness filling his voice once more. You looked at him with sincerity. You all knew what was to come and you can't avoid it.
"Sam..." You walked to him, tilting your head to look at him in the eyes. The best thing you liked about yours and Sam's relationship was the height difference. "At the end of this week, they're going to come for me. Whether it's Crowley or the hellhounds, you have to keep going. All of you," you turned to look at Dean and Cas, talking to the three of them. "No matter what I am or what happens to me, you have to keep moving forward. Don't you ever stop fighting, there's no one to replace you three in this life." You tried to stop the tears from free falling down your cheeks, but it was no use. "Who knows, what'll happen. Just know, I love you. All three of y'all. Don't forget that." You said, your voice just above a whisper.
After awkward staring and nothing but the sound of y'all breathing, Cas stood up and walked up to you. "(Name), somehow..were going to get you out of this." With that he embraces you, muffling anything you were saying.
"Cas, there's nothing that could stop this. I'm sorry." You whispered in his ear as you pulled away.
Sam walked off, not being able to handle the thought of you leaving forever, demon or not. "Damn it! No."
You turned to face him, panic rising in your chest. "No?"
"No, as in, No I'm not letting you give up like this, (Name)!" Sam spat, anger showing in his eyes, flowing out of his mouth like fire.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! When did you get to decide when I gave up or when i do something, stupid or not, to save whoever? Last time I checked, this mess is mine!" You snapped, standing your place.
"You should've known better! You should've known better not to make a deal!" Sam fired, taking a step towards you.
Sam towers over you, but you still stood your place. Having the courage to even stand up to Sam was scary, but no one else ever messed with you— cause, well you're a badass in general. "And what good would come from it, if I didn't?! You would be gone...Dean would surely drink himself to death, because he couldn't handle the fact that his little brother, his Sammy, is gone." You stepped closer to him, punching him in the chest. "Then with Dean gone...Cas would never come around...and I would be alone, Sam." Tears streaming down your face, sobs uncontrollable. "Tell me, What good is it to be alone...when your family is gone?...I had no choice, Sam." With that, you walked out the back door, going into the yard. It was true, you would be alone. Cas would disappear, due to Dean's death, Sam would already be gone and it would be just you. You could hunt alone, but that doesn't mean you wanted to. Hunting alone was never a choice taken away. But you weren't going to split from them, even when you had the chance.
In this circumstance, hunting alone wasn't something you wanted to do. You couldn't bare the thought of driving to he Impala down empty highways, taking odd jobs and stopping at random bars to drown the pain.
Twenty minutes passed and you heard a set of footsteps behind you.
"(Name)?" Sam called out to you. You didn't know if you could look at him, so you just stood there, staring at the mountains and trees that surrounded the town.
"Yeah, Sam?" Your voice cracked, still better than not saying anything.
Coming to stand by you, he grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers. He didn't say anything to fill the void, he just stood there with you, for a few minutes anyways.
"I'm sorry." Sam mumbled.
"What?"
"I'm sorry." He turned to you, making you look at him. "For what I said. But this mess, isn't just yours. It's mine too. So don't think you're ever going to be alone." He stopped, holding back whatever tears haven't rolled down his cheeks. "Whatever is going on I happen, I know I can't stop it. But somehow, I'm going to save you, cure you, and have you back at my side."
"You don't know how long that would take..." You mumbled.
"I don't care, but in not going to give up on trying." Sam pulled you into him, squeezing you tight. "I love you, (Name). This mess is ours."
You wrapped your arms around his waist, hands on his back. "I love you too, Sam." You mumbled into his chest. "I guess forever this mess will be ours." You looked up at Sam, peering into his hazel eyes. "I'm not going to give up. I'll find a way out of hell."
--//to be continued//--
Hey looky here, I actually updated, haha 😅 it's been a rough day ((I got into a car accident, but everyone's fine))
Anyways, there is one last part after this that I'm still working on. It'll be up some time this week.
And with that, I'm calling it a night.
Love you little ducklings 💘