''Aunt Effie have you been here all night?'' Rye asked, as we all walked back through the hospital corridors, the strong stench of disinfectant still lingering in the air.
''I'm not leaving until your Uncle Haymitch is home.'' She snivelled. Effie's eyes were red-raw from crying and she had permanent black circles, painted under her eyes from the exhaustion. She sat there every day by Haymitch's side, holding his hand and cherishing every last moment. But, the mornings where she couldn't see him when he was doing his therapy, she sat on the luminous orange chairs, nibbling away at her, now non-existent, nails. ''You guys are leaving today right?''
''Just for a couple of days, the kids need their own beds. Will you be alright?'' Peeta asked, sitting down beside Effie, and giving her a hug.
''I'll be fine, I've got Hayms anyway.'' She smiled wryly.
We all sat on the chairs, patiently waiting for the doctor to let us know everything went well and we could see him. But that message didn't come. Not in the first hour, not in the second. Time just kept ticking on, as we waited to be let in. ''Daddy, why can't we see Uncle Haym yet?'' Oakley asked as she sat on the floor, colouring in her sketch book.
''We'll be able to see him soon Princess. Remember what I said yeah?'' Peeta said, stroking the top of her head.
''Yes daddy I know. I must'wunt get upset about Uncle Haym, because it made him upset too. Don't wo-wee daddy, I'll just give him a big hug.'' She smiled, continuing to colour in the blades of grass.
''That's my girl.'' He praised, crouching down to give her a hug, and some help.
Willow came walking down the corridor, holding a tray of coffee and orange juice for us all. ''Thankyou darling. Come on, sit next to me.'' I gestured, holding my arm out to her, once she'd passed out the drinks.
Yesterday, Willow was a ray of emotions. She was either extremely happy, or broken beyond repair, but right now she just look woeful. I think the realisation of losing Haymitch was starting to kick in, and the fact that Finn had told her everything and gotten together with her, only added to the confusion upon how she should feel. She sat there next to me, her hair messily braided and tired eyes, fiddling with her fingers. ''Hey, you alright?'' I asked, lifting her chin up.
''Yeah, I, I don't know, I just feel a little nervous about leaving him here.'' She explained.
''I know, so do I. But he's in good hands Wills.'' I said, wrapping my arm around her so she could lean on me. ''Everything will be alright, plus it's only a couple of days.''
''A lot can happen in a couple of days.'' She mumbled. Before I could say anything, a tall doctor, with hazel eyes and dark skin, walked towards us, delving into his pocket for a pen.
''You're all here for Mr, urm,'' he scans his clipboard for a moment, before continuing. ''Urr, Mr Abernathy, is that correct?''
''Yes, we are.'' Effie snivelled.
''Okay, so he's just come back from therapy, a little weaker than normal, but the anti-biotic will soon kick in. You can see him now, but just prepare yourselves for a rough week.''
''W-why? What's up with him?'' Effie panicked. ''Is he okay, oh I have to see him.'' She fussed, shooting up and heading through the door.
''Mr and Mrs Mellark yes?''
''Yes, pleasure to meet you urm-''
''Doctor Jambo. And trust me, the pleasure is mine, meeting my father's greatest triumph.'' He smiled, shaking our hands. And then it clicked. The same hazel brown skin, glowing radiantly, the eyes, even the chin- he was Cinna's son. Quickly shaking the thoughts from my head, I focused on what was important, and right now that was Haymitch.
''What's happens next then?'' I asked.
''Well, as I said, the next week is crucial. At this stage, the medication has to work, otherwise, unfortunately, there will be nothing else we can do. We're hoping that Haymitch's body doesn't keep rejecting the red blood cell, or else, regrettably, he will die.''
My heart felt as if it had fallen from my body, sinking deep into the depths below. Haymitch dying. I knew it was happening, but hearing it from a Doctor, hearing he wasn't coping broke me. ''You might want to start preparing yourself for the worst Mr and Mrs Mellark.'' He consoled, as he walked away.
''Peeta.'' I whimpered, tears filling my eyes.
''Shh, go on kids, why don't you go see your Uncle.'' Peeta said. ''I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you all.''
''Uncle Haym!'' Oakley squealed, her eyes lighting up. ''Come on Wye.'' She screeched, pushing herself up and dragging Rye through the door.
I raked my hands through my unbrushed hair as the tears slowly started to fall. ''Mum? Are you alright?'' Willow asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.
''I'm fine love, I'm just tired.'' I smiled convincingly. ''Go see your Uncle ey?''
Hesitantly, Willow walked away, leaving myself and Peeta in the lobby alone. ''Peeta, did you see the look on his face? He knows what's going to happen.'' I said, between quick breathes.
''Nobody knows for sure Katniss.'' He sighed, sitting beside me and opening up his arm. I budged over, resting my head in the crook of Peeta's neck, letting my tears spill.
''You heard what he said.'' I cried. ''You could see it, he's going to die and I can't just sit around waiting for it to happen.'' I wept.
''Shh, don't think like that.''
''How else am I going to think Peeta.'' I snapped. ''He's dying in there, and all you can tell me is not think that way.'' I shouted.
''Katniss, we can't ju-''
''I don't care Peeta. You need to face the fucking realities of life.'' I yelled, standing up and the tears streaming down my face. ''Just because you had hope in the Capitol that your family were alive, doesn't mean you can have hope about Haymitch surviving, because he won't.'' I snapped. ''He just won't!''
''Katniss, don't say that.'' He sighed, closing his pain-filled eyes. ''Please, just come sit down, you're upset I know, but-''
''Of course I'm upset you idiot! I'm not exactly going to be singing and dancing am I? God Peeta, for once just open your eyes, stop keeping them closed because everything will not be alright. It never will.'' I screamed.
He stood up, and started walking towards me, his blue eyes filled with hurt and sorrow. ''Please Katniss, don't be like this.'' He said, reaching out for my arm. I snatched it away viciously. ''I'm upset too, do you not know that? All I want is for that man in there to live- but he won't, and that kills me.'' His eyes started to glaze over and fill with tears, but for some reason this anger inside of me wouldn't leave.
''Then why do you insist that everything will be okay Peeta. WHY?''
''Because it will be. We're a family and we'll get through it like we've gotten through everything else. Please Katniss, come back to me, this isn't you.'' He pleaded.
''Forget it Peeta.'' I scowled, walking into Haymitch's hospital room to see everyone staring at the door. ''What?'' I snapped.
''Nice to see you too sweetheart.'' Haymitch coughed.
''Hey Haymitch.'' I sighed, walking over to his side and placing my trembling hand on his.
''Effie darling, take yourself and the children out for something to eat, I bet you haven't had a hot meal in days.'' He sighed. Reluctantly, they left the room and it was just myself and Haymitch. I burst into a waterfall of tears onto Haymitch's bed. ''Shh, what happened? We could hear you.''
''I don't know. Oh Haymitch I've said some horrible, horrible things.'' I cried. ''He's never going to forgive me.'' I sobbed.
''That boy would never hold anything against you, he loves you Katniss.''
''I know, but you didn't see it Haymitch, the hurt in his eyes, like-like when he found out it was all just an act.'' I sniffled.
''Go find him, and the two of you come in. Alright?'' I stood up, leaving the room and walking out into the corridor calling Peeta's name. But he wasn't there. I frantically searched the ward for him, but I couldn't find him at all. I dialled his number, but his phone was still off- I'd lost him. Rushing to reception, I asked if he'd checked out of the car park, but he hadn't. So where was he?
I rushed back to Haymitch, crying heavier than before, and crawled onto his bed, erupting. Not only would I be losing Haymitch, but now I'd lost Peeta, and the thought of that broke my heart into something indescribable- something made me feel like I could never see colour again. ''P-please don't die.'' I stuttered out. ''I can't lose you Haymitch.''
''I'm not going anywhere just yet sweetheart.'' He said, hugging me softly. ''You just try to get rid of me.'
An hour passed and Peeta still wasn't there. By this time, I'd cried out all the tears I had left, and I layed there emotionless, listening to the monitor. Beep. Beep. Beep. My eyes became heavy, and they slowly shut, allowing me to fall into a deep sleep...
I woke with a start, screaming for someone to help me as a lizard grabbed my leg. ''Katniss.'' I heard someone call, shaking my arm. ''Katniss.'' They called again. My eyes fluttered open, and a rush of relief flew through my body.
''Peeta.'' I whispered, as my bottom lip started to quiver. ''Y-you're here.'' I said, sitting up and finding myself curled up on the end of Haymitch's bed. ''I'm so sorry.'' I cried, leaping up and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around my back, holding me close and I breathed in his scent.
''It's fine.'' He murmured. ''I'm sorry too.''
''It's not your fault. I don't know what got into me Peet.'' I sobbed.
''Shh.'' Peeta hushed, slowly rubbing my back.
''Oh, how sweet.'' Haymitch coughed. He started to splutter again, and as before, the same red speckles appeared on his hankerchief. ''Eurgh.'' He complained. ''Sit down, both of you.'' He commanded.
We made our way over, and sat down on the two chairs beside the bed, clasping hands. ''Listen, I know you're all going home today. I'm glad. You don't need to see me like this.''
''We all feel bad for leaving.'' I admitted.
''Don't you need your sleep- all of you do.'' Haymitch said, raising his eyebrows at me especially. ''I promise while you're away, I'll do my best to keep going. No matter how hard, alright?''
''Thank you.'' I whispered, a tear falling down my face. ''You can do this Haymitch. You've faced death before, and you've found a way to survive.''
''I was younger then.''
''But you're still just as strong.'' Peeta persisted. ''Haymitch, two more days at least, you can't go while we're not here.''
''If I do, just know that-''
''No goodbyes. Not yet.'' Peeta said. ''I'm not ready.'' He sighed, closing his eyes. Haymitch reached out his arm, placing it on Peeta's good thigh, comfortingly.
''My boy, d-'' Haymitch started to violently splutter again, this time a flow of blood falling from his mouth. ''Stupid meds.'' He grumbled. ''Look, you two must just listen to each other alright? No more arguing. Comfort each other. Love each other. And most importantly protect, love and care for each other.''
''Okay. We promise, don't we Peeta?'' I smiled, caressing his hand with my thumb.
''We promise.''
Soon after, Peeta went to see what was keeping the children, leaving us alone. ''Have you told him yet?'' Haymitch asked.
''Not yet. You're the only one that knows.''
''Oh I see how it is, tell the dying man.'' He chuckled.
''It's not like that at all.'' I smiled.
''I know, I'm only kidding. But you need to tell him soon, before I'm gone.'' Haymitch insisted, raising his eyebrows.
''Not yet, you heard the row we just had. Let's just keep it between us for a litter longer okay?''
''Katniss, you've kept this from everyone for nearly three months sweetheart. People will find out sooner or later.''
''I know.'' I sighed. ''It's just how do I tell him? I can't just be like 'oh by the way i-''
''UNCLE HAYM!'' Oakley screamed, as she ran in, cutting me off. She jumped up on the bed, giving Haymitch a hug. ''Daddy says I have to say a quick goodbye and then we're going home and I can see Sunshwine again, isn't that exciting?'' She squealed.
'Yes, very exciting. Look petal, I'll see you soon yes?''
''Oh yes Uncle Haym, if we're going home, does that mean you're getting bettwer?'' She beamed.
''I suppose it does poppet.'' A huge gasp left Oakley's mouth, and a smile overtook her face.
''That means you can come to my princess party! Uncle Haym, will you be my pwince, because Wye is my knight and daddy is my King and I need a pwince, and now Peter Pan isn't coming, you can come!'' She squealed.
''Darling, I still don't think Uncle Haymitch can come.'' Peeta said, lifting her off of the bed.
''Why not daddy?''
''Because Peter sometimes takes people who don't need to be there just yet. Like your Auntie Primrose, or Uncle Finnick.''
Oakley looked up at Peeta with her bright blue eyes, almost confused. But then, he bottom lip startd to quiver, and her face screwed up. ''Shh, it's okay princess. Don't cry. Daddy's here.'' Peeta cooed, rocking her gently.
''B-but Uncle Haym.'' She cried.
''Come on Oaks, let's get you a drink.'' Effie said, plucking her from Peeta's arms, as she kicked and screamed, yelling goodbye to Haymitch. Rye walked over, concealing all his feelings. He stood there at the side of the bed, looking down at his feet.
''Kidda, look at me.'' Haymitch said weakly, tilting Rye's chin up. ''You're gonna be strong while your home, right?''
''I'm going to be strong.'' He agreed. ''And why am I going to be strong?''
''Because you, Mr, are a Mellark- it's what you do. Now come here.'' He said, pulling Rye into a hug. ''I'll see you soon kid.''
''See you soon Uncle Haymitch.'' He said.
Willow had a very emotional goodbye with Haymitch, crying and repeatedly saying how awful she felt for leaving him, but eventually they said their goodbyes and it was just myself and Peeta. ''Be strong, keep fighting and stay alive.'' I whispered, giving him a hug.
''Sweetheart you need to tell him, he already knows you're keeping something from him.''
''He does?'' I asked. Haymitch nodded his head, said his goodbye's to Peeta and we were off.
**
We were now all sat on the train back in one of the suites, we'd put Oakley to bed for a nap as her eyes kept drooping shut, and she was looking exhausted. Willow was sat on a chair, looking as rigid as she did earlier, so I walked over and crouched down beside her. ''Wills are you alright?''
''I-I don't know what's up with me. Why do I feel so weird about leaving him there?''
''You're worrying too much darling, calm down- look how tense you are.'' She sat there, back straight and concentrating on her breathing intently.
''If I stop focusing, I-I can't breathe.'' She said, releasing a deep blow of air. ''M-u-um.'' She panted, in between breathes.
''Calm down, take another deep breathe Wills.''
''I can't.'' She gasped. ''M-um, my heart. I-i-it's going really tight.''
''Peeta.'' I shouted. ''Come here. I think she's having a panic attack.''
''Mum- I can't breathe.'' She puffed, as her chest rose up and down rapidly. Her eyes prickled with tears, and they uncontrollably ran down her face. ''I can't do it.'' She cried, as her body trembled.
''Take deep breathes Wills, in and out. If it helps, close your eyes and imagine you're on a beach, with the calming waves crashing against the shore.'' I suggested.
You could see the anxiety rising through her body as her lungs gasped for air. Peeta rushed over, sitting beside her and holding her hand. ''It's alright. Shh, in and out darling. I know it hurts, but try not to gasp too much alright? It'll just make your body panic for air more. Whatever's troubling you, don't focus on that, focus on something that makes you happy.''
She continued to breathe deeply, in and out for the next fifteen minutes, her breathe slowly returning to normal, and her body relaxing. ''Willow?'' Rye said, walking over.
''Y-y-y-yes?'' She stuttured.
''Uncle Haymitch always says that Mellark's are strong. You can get through this you know?''
''I know Rye.'' She gasped. ''Thank you.'' Suddenly, the attack came to a halt, and she was breathing again. ''Rye.'' She said, erupting in tears. She pulled him into her arms, hugging him tight, until he wriggled his way out.
''Are you alright darling?'' Peeta asked, hugging her.
''Y-yes. I'm sorry.''
''Don't apologise, it wasn't your fault. What triggered it Wills? I've never seen you have one before.''
''I-I don't normally get them, only recently. Last time, Finn was there, and he made it go away. B-but, this one it wouldn't go, I just kept imagining Haymitch there alone, and no matter how hard I tried, the image wouldn't leave my head. I-I was scared for him mum.'' She cried. ''So, so scared.''
''Shh, me too.'' I said, leaning over to hug her. As I pulled her close, she abruptly pulled away, confused. My heart quickened and Haymitch's words rang around my head. You have to tell him. ''What's up darling?''
''Nothing..urm my stomach just felt like, ur it was going to make me sick.'' She frowned, confused.
''I've heard that's common after a panic attack.'' I said, clearing my throat.
''Are you sure you're alright Willow?'' Rye asked.
''Tip-top buddy.'' She said. ''Come on, I'm hungry.'' She said, leaving with Rye to go to the bar cart. As I went to follow them, Peeta grabbed my arm.
''What?'' I asked.
''What was that?'' He asked, scowling.
''What was what?''
''You know what Katniss, that look you both gave each other. I'm not blind.'' He snapped.
''I don't know what you're on about Peeta.''
''Why won't you tell me?'' He asked, dropping my arm, all the anger disappearing and being replaced with sadness. ''You've been keeping something from me for weeks, I know you have. Please tell me you're ok. That's all I need to know right now.''
''I'm okay Peeta.''
''You best be. Because I can't lose you too. Not after Haymitch, I'd never forgive myself for not protecting you.''
''Don't worry about little old me.'' I said, walking into his arms. ''Let's just worry about our children and Haymitch alright?''
''Alright.'' I felt him kiss the top of my head, and then smirk.
''What?'' I asked, looking up at him.
''I like that you're still wearing my jumper even though it's four sizes too big.''
''Well I couldn't be bothered to make an effort.'' I laughed.
''To me, you still look beautiful as ever.''
''Thankyou Peeta.''
''You're welcome Katniss.''
As we walked out, Peeta saw the unease growing on my face, as my mind reverted back to thinking of Haymitch. He gave my hand a small squeeze and I took a deep breathe. Haymitch would be alright. I knew he would because he still had the same determination he had when he was younger. And anyway, Haymitch Abernathy wasn't ready to die just yet. He still had some fight left...