SAFEST IN YOUR ARMS
" i am definitely getting cross faded tonight. "
{' SAMUELS HOUSE '}
"I AM NOT getting cross faded tonight." Natalie said as she applied her makeup in front of her vanity. Matthew and Jade were rolling so they were ready for later. the two were sitting on the ground near the blondes window as it was slightly open to keep the smell to a minimum. the six friends were all inside her room which made things a bit crowded but it wasn't anything they weren't used to.
Samantha was on the bed, she had already done her makeup and was waiting for Natalie to be done. none of them were going all out, just enough to look presentable and seeing as Natalie had to work earlier, she was the last one to get ready. Oliver was on his phone while leaning on the headboard while Nia was laying down so that her head was laying on her best friends lap.
after Samantha had calmed down a bit from her small breakdown, her friends began to make her feel better in ways they knew best. they made a deal to not talk about the blonde for the rest of the night and instead talked about anything else. after Samantha showered for a second time and packed her overnight bag, she and the other two friends drove to Natalie's house while they waited for her to get off work. Samantha wasn't sure if she'd be staying at Nias or Natalie's, it all depended on how drunk they were. Natalie's parents did not care while Nias moms did a bit more so it was likely she'd be staying with the blonde.
Ellen didn't have many questions, it wasn't the first time she stayed at her friends house during the week and it's not like Samantha gave her a reason to be suspicious of what they'd be doing. Ellen usually only cared about her daughter's whereabouts when she would be sleeping at home. otherwise, she knew her daughter was old enough to take care of herself.
"i am definitely getting cross faded tonight." Jade said from her spot which made Samantha glance at her for a second before looking back down at her phone. she was texting Isabel who wasn't going because Samuel didn't invite her directly. she tried telling the girl that most of the girls from her sorority were invited so she pretty much was too but Isabel still said it was okay. Samantha made the brunette promise that they'd go to a party some other day though. Isabel agreed.
"same," Samantha mumbled and took a drag out of the watermelon flavored vapor. it was something she had cut back on a lot when she was with Georgia, the blonde didn't like it so she never did it around her. at some point it just became a habit to not do it but when she saw Nia had one and her favorite flavor, she wasn't going to miss out. which was something else, even though she had agreed to not talk about her, she couldn't stop thinking about her. she was trying her hardest but it wasn't working, everything reminded her of Georgia.
"i don't know," Nia said, "i think i'm just gonna smoke." her brother murmured his agreement while Jade made a noise of annoyance.
"boring. you always smoke." she complained.
"last time i got cross faded i threw up all over Nat's bathroom and bed. no thanks." she said and Natalie nodded her head as she looked at the brunette.
"you are definitely not sleeping here if your going to drink." the blonde agreed.
Nia pointed at the blonde while looking at Jade, showing her she wasn't the only one who thought she shouldn't risk it. Jade rolled her eyes and put the three blunts in her box of cigarettes. she was the one who actually smoked out of the six, none of them liked the taste or smell although, it never really bothered Samantha when Jade did it. even if she smelled a bit like cigarettes afterwards, her usual perfume overpowered the smell and it only left a twinge of evidence behind.
finally, once Matthew had finished as well, Natalie stood from the vanity and turned to look at the group. "how do i look?" she asked, making a little pose. of course, Oliver immediately stood from his spot on the bed and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend from behind while pressing a kiss to her cheek, the action causing his girlfriend to blush pink while an uncontrollable smile overpowered her lips. Samantha smiled sadly at them. she missed having that.
Nia gagged, "gross. get a room." she grimaced while Natalie rolled her eyes.
"you are in my room genius." she responded making Samantha chuckle.
"whatever." Nia said, she sat up and fixed her hair before finally standing completely. "can we go? i need to smoke." she said desperately.
Samantha followed behind her friend, "real." she agreed.
"yeah, let's go." Oliver said. he was the one driving the group. he had the biggest vehicle out of all of them and since his girlfriend was drinking, he wouldn't be. she found the sentiment sweet. she wished someone would love her enough to do that, or to at least admit they were together. it seemed pretty impossible at the moment, although it very obviously wasn't, she only wanted to be with one person and that was what made it so impossible.
the six friends all left the house and shuffled into the car as smoothly as possible. the offer to take separate cars in case Samantha wanted to leave early was still on the table but she told them it was fine. either way, on the slim chance she did see her ex, she'd just avoid her. she doubted Alexandra would want anything to do with her anyway. not after their last conversation.
while Oliver drove, the three girls in the back were sharing a blunt. Matthew hit it once or twice but surprisingly, he rejected the third hit. Nia didn't ask why and he didn't specify so they all just ignored it and passed it between the three. Samantha figured he was doing the same as Oliver, wanting to take care of his girlfriend.
oh how horrible of an idea this was. Samantha was trying to forget her incredibly sad love life while being surrounded by two couples that loved each other so much. even if Matthew and Nia weren't at the love stage yet, it was pretty obvious. Samantha didn't think it was too soon, in fact, she thought they were dragging it out. they had known each other for years and it made sense for them to love each other, there wasn't much they could say that the other didn't know.
although Jade was single, it didn't make her feel better. it was yet another reminder that the people she loved, couldn't be with her. whatever she felt for Jade had always been complicated, the line between love and friends had always been thin and confusing, for both of them. it was never something they said out loud or even acknowledged but it was something they both knew, even the rest of the group did but they didn't acknowledge it either. not even Nia who seemed to want to set her best friend up with everyone. it was an impossible love, one that could wind up breaking the group and maybe they also knew that it wouldn't last. somehow it was different with Oliver and Natalie as well as Matthew and Nia. why? it was inexplainable. maybe it was the fact that Samantha chased complicated and even when she didn't, it somehow still found her and Jade wasn't. Jade was straight forward and she took what she wanted regardless of appearance of what others would think.
it was something unspoken but it was common knowledge between the group. something that wasn't? the fact that they knew there would be one person hurt at the end of it and it wouldn't be the one hurting for a woman a decade older then her. it would be the one willing to give it all, the one who could give the other girl exactly what she wanted and what she deserved. sadly, it could never happen.
when the Jeep pulled into the gated neighborhood and passed yet another gate to get to the mansion, the vehicle came to a halt when it reached the incredibly long driveway. there were a couple of cars lined up as well as people in the yard which typically meant there were a lot of people. Samantha had been to Samuel's parties enough to know that.
Samantha got out of the car behind Jade and when they all began their journey up the driveway, Nia caught up beside her and held onto her arm for support.
the raven haired girl had on a slightly baggy racing jacket with a black bra under it which made the cold air hit her bare stomach causing her to cross her arms. she did it so Nia didn't have to pull away and she knew the brunette was cold, wearing a simple tight long sleeve didn't do much in protecting her from the cold. Samantha only wore the jacket because of the fact that she was only wearing a bralette under the jacket, otherwise she would have been freezing just like Nia. at least the cargo pants they were both wearing warmed their lower body.
the two were already feeling the effects of the drug so while Oliver and Matthew spoke to one another, they couldn't help but giggle at some things they were saying. Jade was pretty sober, she had a higher tolerance between the six of them and Natalie only had a shot before they left the house.
when they finally reached the front of the house, Samantha couldn't help but take it all in once more. she hadn't been inside of it since the day she as Alexandra broke up. it was exactly as remembered. it seemed as if all the memories of their love hit her full force. the sound of her ex girlfriends laugh came to mind, all the times she'd drag Samantha inside the house with excitement bubbling in each of their stomachs as neither of them could keep their hands off of each other. memories that licked her fresh wounds. memories that made her hurt all over again.
the home was three stories, it had about eight bedrooms and not to mention all of the extras it had both inside and outside the property. Samantha always wondered how Samuel could throw parties when his parents had such expensive paintings and other decorations, it wasn't like the things didn't get broken. there had been many occasions in which the morning after, when they were sober and about to leave, they saw the vases and paintings that had been destroyed. even then, Samuel didn't shy away from throwing more parties and from what he always said, his parents didn't care or even notice sometimes.
they recognized most of the people there. although there were some Samantha didn't, a lot of them were from frats and she didn't exactly have a reason to talk to those kind of guys or any guys in general. Oliver and Matthew were the ones who knew most of the people. they did the same thing as Nia and Samantha, during their freshman year they were going to get into a frat but Oliver backed out when his moms showed their distaste for that kind of stuff. Matthew was the one who was closest to getting in but then backtracked when he realized he'd the thirty minutes away from his friends almost all the time.
Oliver led the group further into the home, in the direction of the kitchen. Samantha knew the layout of the bottom floor like the back of her hand. more memories came flashing through. of Alexandra and her arguing in the living room, in the kitchen or on the railing upstairs. she could almost smell her perfume and feel the way her lips would feel on here. little things that were imprinted in the back of her brain because no matter how hard she tried, she could never forget Alexandra.
once they reached the kitchen and she saw the array of alcohol, she went straight for the vodka. Nia followed behind but didn't grab a cup, she watched her friend instead. Matthew wasn't far behind and like always, they naturally parted. the only times Jade hung with the three friends was when Oliver and Natalie were being super coupley but by then, she'd usually already have some girl to talk to for the night. if not, she'd hang with Samantha or the last two who gladly kept her company.
when the cup was filled a bit, Samantha brought it up to her lips and tilted her head back. when she chugged all of the alcohol, she grimaced a bit before placing the cup back on the table and grabbing the bottle of vodka again to refill her bottle. "please don't get super drunk." Nia said. Samantha continued to pour herself another drink but nodded her head.
"i won't. just enough to keep a buzz, you know?" she said which was a blatant lie. even if Nia knew that, she also knew Matthew was sober and he would keep an eye on both of them. maybe it would help her best friend forget about the fucked up things she was living, maybe she could forget Georgia just for one night. she'd just make sure her friend was safe and everything would be fine.
"come on, i want to go smoke." Nia said, grabbing onto her friend's arm and her free hand was laced with Matthew's. there were too many people for them to have to worry about Oliver seeing them and even if he did, it could be be excused as Matthew being a good friend.
Samantha didn't complain as she let herself get dragged along with her friend. they didn't stop until they reached the main living room. they had two different living areas. after entering the foyer and walking past the two curved stairs, there was the main living area. it had huge floor to ceiling windows and in the middle of them was two glass doors leading to the balcony. the doors were open and there were people shuffling in and out meaning there were probably others with the same idea as Nia. she was mainly focused on her drink and not spilling it that she didn't look up until they stopped walking. the cold breeze was already making her feel the affects of her first shot and she knew she'd be getting drunk a lot faster the longer she stood outside, it didn't sound all that bad though.
she leaned against the railing, looking around at the people around her. there were a lot of girls she recognized and she could already see the ones she knew sending her smiles. she would probably approach them later, once she had more alcohol in her body and she didn't feel like she was betraying Alexandra somehow. and like clockwork, her head remained on the blonde.
being on the balcony reminded her of the times she'd spend the night there. when she'd wake up in her girlfriends arms, watching her sleep because Samantha always saw her as the most beautiful girl she had ever met. memories of when they were home alone and they ventured out into the balcony with nothing but robes on as they watched sun rise, talking about the future as if they were sure it was promised. making each other promises and whispering 'i love you' because they did. they loved each other.
but all of that changed and none of that was real anymore. Alexandra wasn't hers and she never would be again.
the distinctive smell made Samantha look at her friend who was inhaling deeply. when she removed it from her lips, it took her a couple of seconds before the smoke was blown out into the air. Samantha didn't reach for it like she always did, already having smoked enough and she was drinking. maybe later she would though.
"what's the verdict?" Matthew said. Nia looked up at her boyfriend confused but he was looking at Samantha who hadn't even realized he was talking to her. until Nia didn't say anything and she finally turned toward him.
"about?"
"the girls," he said looking around, "are you gonna use your charm?" he teased. Samantha rolled her eyes, a small smile curling on her lips. "or have you been off your game for too long?"
Samantha flipped him off, "ha ha, i'm not you Matty." she said and he chuckled.
"i have a perfect girlfriend, id say i have enough charm." he said while wrapping his arm around Nias waist. Samantha rolled her eyes once more but her smile grew at the sight of them. she couldn't deny the faint jealousy she felt but the happiness she felt for them overpowered that feeling. especially when she saw the way Nia began to flush.
"you guys are sickeningly cute, i might throw up." she said while covering her mouth. Nia laughed at her friend and grabbed onto the girls arm.
"seriously though," Nia said, "are you up to reconnecting with old flings?"
Samantha shrugged while still looking around, "i kind of came here for a distraction." she said. "but i think i'm going to need way more than just this." she said motioning to her cup. the couple watched as she drank the rest of it in one go before wiping her lips with her thumb. "so im gonna get another one." she said and held the empty cup up.
Nia took a long drag before shaking her head, "let me finish this real quick and we'll go with you."
was it the responsible and smart thing to do? yes. did she want to see them act all lovey dovey? no. it was still early and she was sober enough to take care of herself so she shook her head. "i'm still good to be on my own. just meet me inside when your done." she said.
Nia looked hesitant and Matthew was going to say no but the brunette nodded. "okay. fine. but if anyone bothers you, just call me." she said and Samantha nodded. she smiled at both of them one last time before turning around and walking back inside. she missed Matthew asking his girlfriend why she would let her in alone while Nia replied that she needed space. them being a couple didn't help her feel any better about her situation and she knew that. they shared locations anyway and they wouldn't take long to catch up. it was enough for Matthew to relax.
there were a lot more people in the house then when they had gotten there which wasn't more then ten minutes before. it made a bit had to get to the kitchen but Samantha was intoxicated enough to shove past people without caring if it bothered them or not. she went straight to the bottle she had been drinking before, she was already high and mixing alcohol as well sounded deadly. she poured a bit inside the cup and downed all of it then placed the cup back on the counter. she repeated the action one more time but she made sure to put noticeably less alcohol in it.
after the two shots, she filled the cup about halfway but this time, she reached for the gatorade that was on the counter. she made sure it was sealed closed before opening it and pouring a bit inside her cup. when she finished, she took a sip to make sure there was enough of each. there was a bit too much gatorade then intended but considering she didn't want Nia being all up on her about how much she was drinking, she decided to wait until she was with Matthew and the brunette before drinking more. it's not like Nia would have a reason to care if they were both around to make sure she was okay.
Samantha took another sip while taking a step back without looking, two things that made her blind to the person walking behind her. in a split second there was purple liquid poured on her jacket and bare stomach causing her to react by moving her body back and quickly holding the cup up right. thankfully the liquid wasn't cold otherwise it would've made things ten times worse, although having the sticky liquid pouring down her upper half wasn't ideal either.
"watch where you're-" the words seemed to have died in her throat as Samatha turned to look at her apologetically. the blonde didn't finish expressing her annoyance as blue eyes met a pool of brown.
the alcohol Samantha had just consumed seemed to have left her body in an instant. her chest felt like it had been stricken by something sharp and her breathing faltered almost as if she had been hit in the back. she blinked once and twice but the girl in front of her was still there. like a broken record, every feeling, every emotion, everything they shared struck her like lightening. she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't feel anything but a mix of pain and love.
her beautiful blue eyes that had speckles of green were still looking at her. she had freckles adorning her nose and cheeks but they made her look even more beautiful. her lips were glossy and they looked so soft and delicate. Samantha could remember what they felt like on hers. she could remember what they tasted like and how they'd always make her fall in deeper love. she had a jaw so sharp that Samantha would always caress. everything about her facial features were perfect. even her skin was perfect, it glowed and it looked so smooth and soft. she was so perfect. was she real? was she dreaming? did she somehow die and go to heaven? was that possible? her mind seemed to circuit from her eyes to her lips.
Alexandra Reyes, the most talked about girl in Wellsbury. she was the prettiest girl not only at Boston University but in the whole town. she was the daughter of Hugo, Samuel's father but they did not share the same mother. Alexandra's mother was a model from Spain while Samuel's mother was from Wellsbury. everyone wanted her or wanted to be her. they envied her beauty as well as her ability to make anyone like her. it wasn't just the way she looked but the way in which she spoke too. she was so carefree and confident, her aura could make anyone feel comfortable but she could also make anyone feel like they were a waste of space with just a glance. she was perfect in every sense.
and just like that, her awe turned into anger. pure rage. Alexandra Reyes, the girl who broke her heart into a million pieces was standing right in front of her. the girl who promised her the world just to leave was there. the girl who left her a broken mess with nothing but trust issues and an unrealistic view of love. the girl Samantha cried for every night until her tears ran dry. the girl Samantha once loved more than anything in the world.
fucking Samuel. of course he lied. how could he not? she should have known.
she didn't realize how long she was left staring until the blondes lips quirked up into a small smirk, one that Samantha had memorized. the same smirk she'd always use to sway Samantha, to charm her into agreeing with her or to make Samantha forgive her. the same fucking smirk she used when they first met which left Samantha at her mercy. "i was looking for you." she said her eyes trailing up and down Samantha's body. her blue eyes traveled down her body then back up until they landed on her chest. it made Samantha cover it with her jacket.
"what are you doing here Alexandra?"
note!
this is the last chapter that still consisted small parts of the old version. from the next chapter and on, it'll be brand new chapters and if you haven't reread the first chapter and maybe a couple after, this and the rest of the book will be confusing so pls go back and read!
if you hated this, i did too😭