As Olivia and Flack made their way along the corridors of the ICU children's ward within St. Luke's, nurses worked their way from room to room, some carried trays of medication, others blankets and clean gowns. The floor was certainly more active to when Olivia had been there an hour or so earlier. Along with the faint humming and beeping of hospital machinery, they could hear chatter and children's laughter. Flack and Olivia exchanged smiles. The children on this ward were terminally ill and yet were able to evoke such positive happiness. Kids were more resilient than adults gave them credit for. Even in the face of adversity.
Reaching the reception area they waited for the nurse on duty to finish her telephone call. Flack looked around him over to a recreation room where he could see bright yellow walls and painting easels placed around the large room. Children confined to wheelchairs, most bald from chemotherapy, others connected up to IVs, busied themselves playing board games and video games. It was their laughter that filled his ears the most.
The nurse ended her call and smiled up at them both. 'Hello, may I help you?' she asked, drawing Flack's attention back.
'Detective Flack, NYPD and Detective Cordukes from the Crime Lab,' he said pulling back his jacket to show her his police badge clipped to his belt. 'We're here to see Gracie Sheridan.'
'Oh, yes. Dr. Conrad said to expect you,' the nurse nodded, her blonde ponytail bobbing slightly.
'How is she today?' asked Olivia.
'She's tired. But that's only to be expected, given her condition. You know where her room is, right?' she asked, to which they both nodded. 'Okay then, just bear in mind that the various medications she's on are strong and make her a little loopy.'
'Loopy?' Flack repeated. 'That a new medical term?'
The comment brought a grin to the nurse's face. She didn't get a chance to reply as the telephone on the desk began to ring and so while she answered Flack and Olivia set off from the station and made their way down the corridor toward Gracie's room.
'You okay?' Flack asked. She had tensed up a little as they neared the little girl's private room. The way she was carrying her field kit in front of her, like some sort of shield, gripping the handle with both hands, and the rigidity of her shoulders gave the game away.
'I'm fine.'
They arrived at Gracie's room and Flack nodded once at the officer standing guard. Olivia took a breath, opened the door and stepped inside.
And there she was.
Gracie Sheridan was propped up in bed, her back supported with at least three pillows, the pull-out table in front of her and on it a coloring book and crayons that had since been pushed aside. There was an IV dispensing a saline drip and morphine into the back of her left hand and beside the metal pole, stood a heart-machine softly beeping as it kept record of her heart-rate and blood pressure. There was also oxygen on stand-by.
For a moment Olivia could only look at her. Her head was turned slightly toward the window, her eyes closed, but she wasn't sleeping. Olivia could tell by her breathing - which had a definite grating due to the bronchial infection - that she was just resting. Her chin-length curls framed her cherubic face and appeared more golden in the natural light. Her baby sister's name whispered through her mind and she had to tell herself to breathe. Just breathe. Slow, long breaths.
She moved deeper into the room and toward the bed and behind her Flack closed the door with a gentle click. It stirred Gracie and her eyes slowly blinked open. She turned her head, recognition lit up her face when she saw Olivia.
'You came, 'Livia,' she said, her little voice sounding raspy from the infection she'd developed.
'I never break a promise,' Olivia softly smiled. She was touched that given everything the child had endured in the last twenty-four hours she even remembered her name. The way she'd said it reminded her of her baby sister. Lily had never been able to pronounce the 'O' correctly and had always called her Livvy. The memory was soon carried away when Gracie got her eye on Flack.
'Who's that?' the little girl asked.
'This is Detective Flack,' Olivia told her. 'He's a friend of mine.'
'Are you a policeman?' she wanted to know.
'I sure am.' Flack unclipped the police badge from his belt and showed it to her. 'Even got the shiny badge to prove it.'
Gracie peered at it and then looked back at Olivia. 'It's like yours.'
'Yes it is.'
Gracie turned back to Flack. 'Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?'
The innocent childish remark made the smile tug deeper on Olivia's lips and meeting Flack's eyes across the bed, she found he was smiling also as he clipped the badge back into place on his belt. He lifted his eyebrows expectantly, giving her a look that she understood. He was going to let her run with this one.
'No, Gracie, we're just friends,' she told the little girl.
'I see.' Gracie looked back at Flack. 'You're tall, and I didn't need to see your badge. Not really.'
'And why's that?' he asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down at her bedside.
'Because you have nice eyes,' the little girl explained.
A gentle smile touched Flack's lips. 'Well, a gentleman always returns a compliment, so may I say, Gracie, that you have very pretty hair.'
Gracie giggled a little, covering her mouth with both hands. 'How do you know my name?'
'I'm a Detective. I know everything,' Flack said all mysterious-like.
'Do you know who killed my mommy and daddy and my Jemmy?'
A brief hush fell over the room and Olivia saw Flack's entire face soften, but his eyes were no longer smiling. He cleared his throat and drew himself up.
'No, sweetheart. No, I don't.'
Gracie nodded once and her gaze fell to the coloring book lying open on the table. Olivia could see tiny tears forming in the child's eyes. She set her field kit down on the floor by her feet. In an attempt to stop those tears from falling, Olivia pointed to the coloring book.
'That's a beautiful picture. Did you do it all by yourself?'
It worked because Gracie immediately lifted her head and nodded, even giving Olivia a small smile. 'I didn't go over the lines very much. See?' Gracie picked up the book and showed her the picture of a bright yellow duck wearing a purple Easter bonnet and carrying a basket of chocolate eggs.
'You're a clever girl,' Olivia told her. 'So you like coloring in?'
Gracie nodded. 'But I like reading more.'
Olivia remembered the many books she had come across in the little girl's room. 'I bet I know what your favorite book is.'
'Bet you don't,' she said, suddenly perking up and enjoying the game.
Olivia smiled and pretended to think really hard for a moment. 'Let me see. Could it be...The Velveteen Rabbit?'
Gracie gasped, her blue eyes widening in surprise. 'It is! That's my favorite book! How did you know?'
'Because when I was a little girl it was mine, too,' Olivia told her.
Flack quietly watched the scene unfold between Olivia and the little girl. A person would have to be made of stone not to be affected by it. It was patently obvious Gracie had already formed a bond with the woman who'd found her crying and frightened in the closet and that very same woman felt just as connected to the child.
'Will you color me a picture?' Olivia asked and Gracie gave her a nod, turning the page over to a picture of a fairy sitting on a toadstool.
'Do you like this one?'
'I love that one.'
'Okay.' She picked up a red crayon and began to color in the fairy's dress. 'Would you like a picture, 'tective Flack?'
The two detectives shared a smile over the use of his full title. It had sounded odd, yet endearing, coming from a six year olds lips, but clearly the Sheridan's had taught their children exceptional manners.
'I think I'd like that,' he replied. 'But first, I need you to do something for me, Gracie.'
'Okay,' she said not looking up from the picture.
'I'd like for you to call me Don. Think you can do that?'
Gracie seemed puzzled and a little unsure. 'Is that your name?'
'It is.'
She scrunched her brow, pursing her lips. 'Am I allowed?'
'You most certainly are.'
'Okay then.' She gave her shoulders a little jerk before going back to her picture. 'Does it make you feel old? Mommy says when people call her Mrs. Sheridan it makes her feel old.'
Olivia looked at Flack and he smiled at her. 'Yeah,' he said to the little girl. 'It makes me feel very old.'
Gracie giggled a little. 'Old people are funny.'
Olivia concealed her laugh and turned her attention back to Gracie. She watched as she rubbed the red crayon over the page, being extra careful not to go over the lines, her face full of concentration. 'Gracie,' she began gently, 'do you remember last night, when I found you in your closet?'
'Yes.'
'Were you in there a long time?'
'I think so. It was more than one whole hour.' Without any prompting, she added, 'When I heard the strange man's voice I got out of bed and the big hand on my clock was pointing at the twelve and the little hand was on the seven.'
Two hours later the family were dead. Out of the corner of her eye Olivia could see Flack take out his notepad. 'Did you hear what the strange man was saying?'
'No. But I could hear my mommy crying. Mommy never cries,' Gracie said, her voice dropping.
'And was mommy and the strange man downstairs?' At this Gracie nodded. 'Can you remember where your daddy and Jeremy were?'
'Jemmy was in his room and daddy was with mommy downstairs.'
Olivia was sure she saw the little girl's hand tremble a little, making her stop coloring for a moment before picking it up again. She hated having to do this. Forcing the child to relive the terrible memory. But it had to be done. This six-year-old child could possibly hold the key to them discovering what had happened.
'It's okay, Gracie,' Olivia said softly. She reached out and placed her hand gently over hers, stilling her for a moment. 'I know it hurts to remember. But you don't have to be scared.'
Slowly, Gracie lifted her head and met Olivia's eyes. A silent tear rolled down the little girl's cheek and Olivia could feel her throat begin to close up.
Time was standing still. The world was fading away.
For now, Olivia's entire world was Gracie Sheridan.
'Can you remember what you did when you got out of bed?' Olivia asked, willing her voice not to crack under the emotional duress. She brushed away the tear from Gracie's cheek and the little girl went back to her picture. Olivia drew back her hand, knowing that the coloring was a great help in easing the child's mind from the seriousness of the conversation.
'I made my bed.'
The bed being made up hadn't occurred to Olivia at first, but as she had been processing Gracie's room it had struck her how strange it was that the child would do something like that. But now wasn't the right moment to ask why. 'And then what did you do?'
'Jemmy came into my room and I hid in the closet.'
'Did Jeremy stay with you?'
Gracie shook her head, making her curls bob around her shoulders. 'No. He told me to hide and be quiet.' She put down the red crayon and picked up a blue one.
'Then did Jeremy go downstairs?'
'I don't think so. I could hear the strange man yelling and then I heard daddy yelling. And then they came upstairs and mommy was still crying,' Gracie said, her voice cracking a little. She lifted her eyes to Olivia.
'It's okay,' she reassured her with an encouraging smile. 'You're doing really well. You're a brave girl.'
'That's what mommy says.'
'Your mommy's right.'
'Will I give your fairy red hair like yours?'
Olivia smiled. 'Why don't we give her hair like yours instead?' She picked up a yellow crayon and handed it to her. Gracie nodded and concentrated once again on her picture. Olivia paused briefly, knowing the significance of this next question. 'Gracie, did the strange man come into your room?' A tiny frown puckered the child's brow and she stopped what she was doing. She didn't want to answer this question. Olivia could see the immediate change in her face. She leaned forward and just like before placed a hand over hers, hoping to reassure and encourage her.
'The strange man can't hurt you. You're safe now.'
Gracie lifted her eyes to Olivia. The look was one of fear. Fat tears began to pool and Olivia felt her throat close up again. 'He knew my name,' she whispered. 'But I don't know how.'
'That's okay,' Olivia said gently. 'You're doing really well to remember so much.' She gave her an encouraging smile. 'Shall we give the fairy a pink wand?' she said, trying to lighten the mood again. It worked, as Gracie nodded and picked up the pink crayon. 'Did the strange man find you in the closet?'
Gracie shook her head. 'He opened the door but he couldn't find me.' She leaned forward a little and dropped her voice to a whisper to be sure no one else but Olivia could hear. 'Because daddy made me a secret place.'
'Daddy made you a hidey hole?'
She nodded. 'In the back of my closet.'
And just like that it began to slowly fall into place. Olivia recalled the smell of urine and the dampness of the little girl's nightdress, but when she had checked and processed the closet there had been no trace of urine on the floor. Now she understood why.
'Gracie,' Olivia said, 'did you make your bed so the strange man would think you weren't in your room?'
'Mommy told me if ever I got scared to make my bed and then to hide in my hidey hole. So I did,' she said, her voice barely a whisper. 'But I was in there a long time and I was cold and my chest hurt because mommy hadn't given me my medicine. I climbed out and got a blanket. But then I heard a noise and I was scared to go back in my hidey hole, so I stayed at the back of the closet.'
Olivia realised that the thumping sound she and Mac had heard when they had been processing the parents bedroom must have been Gracie climbing out of the hidey hole. After discovering Gracie in the closet she couldn't remember seeing any doors or small passageways leading into the attic space. But that was the whole point of a hidey hole. The person that used it was the only one that knew how to get inside.
And that was what she had done. She had made up her bed and crawled into her secret place to make the strange man think that she wasn't at home. And by taking her mommy's words and converting them to memory, this brave little girl had saved her own life.
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Copyright © 2006 [Debra Jay] All Rights Reserved