Chapter Thirty Nine - Closure
- Martin's POV -
"Are you ready?"
"Yes." It is no use into even trying to cover up the shakiness and nervousness in my voice. I can feel everyone's eyes on me and it only makes my nerves kick in even more.
"Okay, so, I understand you have brought legal papers from America," Hans begins talking towards them and I keep my gaze focussing on something in the distant.
"Yes, we've received more evidence from the police and court," his father begins to speak and I feel ashamed I can't remember his name. Michael? Micah? Hell, whatever. On another note, what does he mean by he has more evidence?
"May I see it?" Hans asks and his father nods without hesitation. He slides the semi-thick stack of papers over to Hans. I glance down at them and then back up. Unfortunately, they land straight on his sister, Avery. Her eyes burn into mine but I can't read them at all.
"About two months ago, they reopened the case and they found out more about the other driver," his mother opens her mouth and even though, it may not seem like I am listening, I really am.
"I see," Hans says slowly, his eyes scanning the papers at a slow pace. "It says here that the other driver admitted to being intoxicated as well?" he adds in a questionable tone.
"Yes. The police had an interrogation with him when they reopened it," his father explains and I feel a chill run down my spine.
"Was there anymore details about the accident found?" Hans asks, his eyes glance at me for a split second. I feel my stomach turning. With all of these papers reciting what happened and them talking about it; it's getting to much. And it hasn't even been five minutes.
"Yes, a lot actually," his mother's voice shakes, "Also.. a few more things came out, about Austin," she breathes in and out slowly. I can only imagine how she must feel, especially with me sitting right in front of her.
"Martijn, do you remember anything about the accident?" Hans turns to me and my face drops, turning a pale color. A lump forms in my throat, not sure of what to say.
"Pretty much, everything," my voice trails off at the end. Every time I think about it, I shutter and wish I could take everything back.
"What about before?" Hans questions and I begin to wonder why he is asking this stuff. Then again, I can't necessarily question or smart off to him here.
"Yeah," I answer bluntly, looking down at a random spot on the table. Hans doesn't say anything else as he continues reading the papers. Him and his father begin to talk about something, but I don't make it out because I'm not really listening.
Once again, my eyes land on the papers that have everything recited on them. When my eyes scan them, I feel lightheaded but heavy all at the same time. It feels like I am there again, reliving every second.
Some girl has lined up three lines of the familiar substance. One for her, one for me, and one for Austin. We each go one at a time; the burn is never settle with this shit. I watch as the girl leans her head back, giggling far too much.
Don't even begin to ask how we knew about this party. The only major problem we had was finding a car to get here. Ha, we eventually did, thanks to Austin and his connections with that one counselor.
"Here," I look up and I have to scrunch up my face, from a harsh light coming from somewhere. Haley stands in front of me with a beer held in hand. I can't even remember how many I have had by now.
"Thanks," I smirk up to her. She rolls her eyes before walking away. I can't keep my eyes on her upper body as her shorts are practically showing her ass. I begin to chuckle to myself when suddenly, I feel myself becoming hyper-alert.
The feeling is familiar and I down my drink quickly, my foot beginning to tap rapidly on the hardwood floor. I rub the underneath of my nose before I look around for anyone that may be familiar. I have no luck but abruptly, a petite girl, with light brown hair approaches me.
"Hi," she smiles, her head turning to the side. I smirk at her, my eyes look down her body quickly. "Wanna dance?" she asks, her bottom lip tucked in by her teeth.
With so much adrenaline pumping through me, I step closer to her and her hand grabs mine, pulling me towards the 'dance floor'. I spot Haley there as well, dancing with some guy who looks more than six feet tall. I begin to wonder where Austin is, but I push the thought out of my mind when I feel the girl turn around, her ass firmly on my front. She giggles, throwing her head back into my chest.
I begin to feel more and more numb as time goes on. The girl somehow managed to get shots of of what looked like to be tequila. The liquid burns down my throat and I feel like I can run for miles.
I shake out of my thoughts and I am fixated on trying not to think about it anymore.
"Was he unresponsive immediately after the accident?" Hans asks, his eyes turning up towards me.
"No," I answer simply, "He passed out right before medics came," I tell him and he nods, taking it in.
"What about the other driver? What state was he in?" he turns his head to his parents and I find that they are both staring at me. Instead of looking away, I softly gaze at them, not wanting them to think I don't care.
"A broken leg, bruised lung," his father says nonchalantly. As bad as this sounds, I wish that only happened to Austin. And here I am, got away with a few bruises. I didn't lose my goddamn life, when honestly, I probably should have. I practically cheated death.
Hans eye's turn back a few pages, his eyes running down the page quickly. He begins to shake his head slightly, "I'm so sorry for what happened," he says quietly and I suck in a sharp breath.
"Well, the main reason we came here was to validate a few things with Martin," his mother says, her eyes glossy as she looks at me. I suddenly feel vulnerable and more nervous than before.
Hans gives me a slight glare that only I can see and it's as if he is saying; do not object.
"Okay," goosebumps form on my arm when I look into Avery's eyes. Goddammit, I wish I hadn't because it only brings back more memories. And probably, the worst one of all.
Haley, Austin, and I finally left the party around 2:30. Unfortunately, we had to go back to that god forsaken camp. My hands grip the steering wheel shakily and Haley was laughing from something Austin had said.
"Hopefully I won't be too fucked up in the morning," Haley laughs after she hiccups in between her words. Austin and I give each other an amused glance.
"Ah, I don't know 'bout that babe," Austin says looking back to her with a drunken laugh. "Fuck, I'm tired and but hyper at the same time," he chuckles and I look at him with a messed up smile.
"Same," I groan with a small laugh, rubbing my head slightly. My mind is fuzzy and it starts to become hard to focussed on one thing.
I turn to get on the right exit, swerving slightly from an idiot who doesn't know how to drive. My hands are still jittery from earlier and I pull out onto the small road to get back to the college. This town is fucking pathetic in my opinion.
"We should have stayed longer," Austin says, a grunt resonating in his tone.
Haley hiccups again from the back, "I don't think that would have been a good idea," she laughs loudly. I look up in the rearview mirror and smirk when I see her shirt has fallen down slightly. "You know, I'm glad I have you all as friends," she says closing her eyes with a smile.
"I know. Who else would I party with?" Austin says, looking back towards Haley.
"You could with what's her name? Emily?" I chuckle and he gives me a glare.
"Hey, she's a good fuck, what can I say?" he shrugs amusingly.
"Ok-kay guys, I really d-don't want to hear about yo-your sex lives," she stutters and she starts to laugh again to herself.
"How much did you drink?" I ask, glancing back at her.
"Ah, too much," she laughs as her hands wave around dramatically. Her eyes finally open but suddenly, they go wide, "Martin watch out!"
I look forward and I put my foot on the brake as hard as I can. The car swerves and I cannot do anything about it. Haley's piercing screams fill up the car. Knowing I can't do anything else, my hand wraps around the grab handle and before I know it, the car gets hit and we are flung around. The only thing I can comprehend is Haley's screams once again and the feeling of I am going to die.
I jolt up from my flashback; one that haunts me until this very day. I want to scream or punch something every time I think about it.
"Martijn?" Hans asks and I look over to him, my breathing increasing by the second. "Are you okay?"
I swallow, pushing past the lump, "Yeah," I nod lazily, looking back to his parents.
His father takes in a deep breath. He intimidates me more than my own father. "Martin, what happened last year was probably one of the hardest times of our lives," he starts and I only hope to whoever that this is going to go smoothly. "We understand you all are teenagers and multiple things factored into this," he pauses, his eyes staring deeply into mine, "But we want you to know that, we do not think this was your fault. It may seem that way to you, but, we were never angry with you. We understand that accidents can happen, no matter the circumstances," when these words come out of his mouth, my mouth parts open slightly, as do my eyes widen.
I'm silent and I don't know what to say. For the past year, I have thought they've been holding a grudge against me. It's part of the reason that I myself, believed that it was my fault, because of my thoughts about them.
"Martin, we asked the court to drop any charges to would have been placed against you," his mother speaks up and my stomach flips; only this time, it's for good.
"Are you serious?" I finally find my voice, glancing at Hans skeptically. He looks just as confused as I feel.
"Yes," a faint smile appears on his mothers face. I find my body relaxing, all tension going away as I sit back into the chair. The shock I feel must be resonating on my face. "We know how close you and Austin were so, we figured it's what he would want," her voice is soft and calm, just like my mothers.
"Well Martijn," I look over at Hans and it feels weird to have people calling me Martijn and Martin in the same room. I raise my eyebrows at him, signaling him to speak, "What do you think?" he asks.
"I think," my head shakes slightly in disbelief, "I've never been more thankful to hear that," the looks in his parents eyes tell me honesty, something I've been craving for the longest time.
"Is that all?" Hans turns to them, his Dutch-English starting to sound impatient. What's his problem?
"Yes, but," his mother holds up one finger as she digs around in her purse sitting beside of her. She sits back up and she is holding what looks like to be an envelope. "Here," she smiles and reaches over to me, envelope extended. "Read it when you have time," she nods reassuringly. I myself, slowly nod in return.
"Thank you Mr..." his father is the first one to stand up as he reaches out one hand for Hans.
"Van Dijk," Hans says and his sister begins giggling to herself.
"Don't even try to say that dad," she says as she gets up and a small smile grows on my face.
"Right," he nods to her, "Thank you for your time Martin," he looks at me and I nod faintly.
"Thank you," his mother says quietly to me as she shakes Hans' hand.
"Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Taylor," Hans says as he leaves the table, leading them out of the door. I fade them out as I sit recollect what just happened.
I feel my heart thumping in and out of my chest, still not believing that I have found closure. Me, has found fucking closure. Who the hell would have thought? I don't even know what to feel at this moment. Too many emotions are running through me all at once. My thoughts are interrupted by the slam of the door.
"Why are you so pissy?" I ask, noticing Hans's change of demeanor.
"Looks like someone got lucky," his Dutch is coated in a spiteful tone. I stand up from the table, my eyes closely watching him as he gathers his things.
"What's that supposed to mean? You're my fucking lawyer," my voice raises, anger starting to rise in my body. I don't really give a shit if he cares about the situation but he should be fucking happy he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. And vice-versa. I know I am.
"Hm, you tell me," his eyes darken when he glares at me one last time before he turns on his heels, storming from the office. I stand in disbelief; you have got to be fucking kidding me. The talk (I know) that he is going to have with my father irritates me. Fuck both of them.
My feet pick themselves up and I am soon back in the lobby area. My parents are not in sight but a head of familiar blonde hair is. Nora looks up from her lap and when her eyes look at me, she stands up immediately.
"How did it go?" she asks rapidly and I chuckle at her, running a hand through my hair, I breathe out deeply.
"You were right," I keep my voice a couple of octaves lower than hers and her eyebrows furrow deeply, confusion settling on her face.
"What?" she asks, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"Everything is going to be okay," I smile and suddenly, her confusion drops and is replaced with a smile. Excitement now showing over her face. Without a word, I feel her slightly jump onto me, her arms hugging around my neck tightly.
"I told you so," I can hear the amusement in her voice as I wrap my arms around her waist, a laugh emitting from my chest. "What exactly happened?" she asks impatiently as she pulls away from me.
"I'll tell you in the car," I say and she nods a few times. I look around the empty lobby, "Where's my parents?" I ask and her face slightly falls.
"They left with Hans," she says blatantly. Obviously, I understand what she is saying but I don't understand why they would just leave like that. Especially my mother...
"Let's go," I begin to walk and when we reach outside, the air is foggy and it is noticeably cooler. We get to her car quickly and she starts it up, turning on the heat slightly.
Nora takes in a deep breath as she pulls out of the parking space, beginning to drive. "Where are we going?" she asks and honestly, I don't know. Should I go back to my parents? Or not?
"I guess we can go to my parents," I say lazily, slumping in my seat slightly. She gives me a quick glance.
"Are you sure?" her tone sounds skeptical and I nod slowly.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I shake my head, my eyebrows furrowing. Sure, earlier at my parents didn't go as planned but my father is an asshole so what more could I have expected? I want to talk to my mother and see if Laura is there anyways.
"So.. what did they have to say?" she asks after a few moments of silence between us.
I clear my throat, "Well, they said everything on me has been dropped," my body relaxes, still not believing it.
"Really?" she smiles, her tone raising almost to a squeak. I laugh a little bit at her.
"Yeah," I keep my eyes on the road ahead of us. I shove my hands into my jacket pocket and I feel the envelope. "She also gave me an envelope," I mention and Nora hums in response.
"Have you opened it?" I glance at her watching how focussed she is on the road. Her forehead is creased the slightest bit and it almost looks like she is thinking about something else.
"No," I shake my head, "His mother told me to read it when I have time," I say, my fingertips rubbing the paper material. Truthfully, I am quite hesitant to open it, considering I have no idea what is going to be in there.
"What do you think it is?' she asks and I notice we have arrived back into Amstelveen quicker than expected.
"No idea," I shrug, dumbfounded. It's not like it is a letter from Austin, well, because he isn't here anymore. And who the hell writes letters nowadays?
Soon after I say this, we have arrived at my house. I let out a needed sigh. The only thing that is on my mind now, is going back to America. And I need to go back, quick; I'm suffocating here.
I exit the car and notice it looks as if every single light in the house is turned on, a major contrast to everyone else's. Once again, the door is open and we're welcomed with slightly yelling.
"What is wrong with you Gerard?! This our son!" my mother's voice is higher than I have heard it in a long time. I quickly make my way to the source of them and Nora follows close behind of me.
"He doesn't deserve this-" my father's voice immediately stops when I appear in the door way of the kitchen. His eyes narrow towards me and I want to know what they are talking about.
"What's going on?" I ask bitterly, glaring at my father the whole time.
"We've booked you a flight for tomorrow night," he spits, his eyes leaving mine and looking at my mother.
"I can do that shit myself," I spit right back to him and he scoffs under his breath. "What the fuck is your problem?" my own voice begins to raise and I feel Nora nudge me warningly from behind.
"This is the thing with you Martijn," he shakes his head mockingly, "You never seem to understand respect," he hisses and my jaw clenches. Not this bullshit again. "And please, like I've said before, watch your damn mouth or-"
"Or what?!" I half bellow and my mother jumps slightly. "Why the fuck would I have ever respect you in the first place?! It's not like you have ever had any for me! What are you going to do about it you piece of worthless shit?!" I push myself away from Nora as I feel all of the rage come back to me. Whatever high I experienced earlier, was now gone.
I can slowly feel myself unraveling and loosing it. I can't give in to him though, it's just what he wants. It feels like my heart skips a beat and my palms sweat when I see a just as angry glare to me in return.
Before I can realize what is actually happening, I just feel my shirt being fling forward and I catch myself against the counter.
"Gerard!" my mother screams and it doesn't stop him as his arm swings to me. I manage to duck in time and I catch him off guard when I shove him backwards, my fist colliding with the side of his face. He catches himself on the wall and suddenly, my mother stands between us.
"Disgrace," my father spits angrily and it only heightens my own anger but before I can do anything else, my mother opens her mouth.
"Stop it! Both of you! Stop!" she yells, her face becoming slightly red. "Just stop!" she screeches harshly. I look over to find Nora standing almost out in the hallway, a horrified look on her face. Her eyes reach mine and all I can read is fear.
Without another word, I push myself to leave the scene and I push past Nora, heading up to my room. I notice Laura's door is open - thank god she is not here.
I slam my door, tugging on the ends of my hair. I can't stay here any longer... I might end up killing someone. I take in a few large breaths, trying to calm down my anger. The next time I do come back here, I am moving out - that is for damn sure.
When I drag my suitcase from the floor and onto the bed, my door opens. I don't bother to turn around as I begin to shove things in the case.
"Martijn," my actions halt for the slightest second when I hear Nora's familiar tone. I stay turned away from her, the fear in her eyes still resonating in me. The last thing I want is people I care about to be afraid of me. "Martijn," she says again.
"What?" I whip around impatiently. I watch as her body almost jumps and she takes half a step away from me. The same fear and worry come back to her blue eyes. "I'm sorry," I breathe out, closing my eyes for a second.
"I don't care about that," she shakes her head. I furrow my eyebrows deeply. "I want to know if you're okay," her voice somewhat cracks at the end. I nod pathetically, even though it probably comes off more confident than that. "You should stay with me again," she keeps her voice low.
"I'm not questioning that," I mutter, turning back to my suitcase. I glance around to see if I am missing anything. I zip up the case quickly and pull it off of the bed, it hitting the floor with a slight thump. "Let's go," I wait for her to go first and she goes without obliging.
When we reach the living area to leave, my mother is sitting on a chair, a concentrated look on her face. My father is no where in sight. Her eyes look up when she hears us.
"Martijn," her voice is slightly scolding in a way. I stop in my tracks and she stands up from the chair. "You know I love you," she now has no emotion on her face, "But I expect you to do better now. I know you're going to do better," she nods once, stubbornness showing through her.
"Okay, Ma," I agree and in one motion, her small frame has pulled me into a hug. "I love you too," I mumbled in a whisper to her. I pull away after a few moments and finally, she has completely let me free to go.
I notice Nora was watching us admiringly and I know she can only wonder why I am like that with my mother, but I could kill my father. Honestly, the story is so much more than it seems.
It is almost nine o'clock and I cannot be anymore exhausted. The entire ride back to Nora's apartment is dead silent and I have to fight myself to stay awake. This time tomorrow, I'll be on a flight back to America. I'm on the edge of whether or not I should pretend nothing happened. This only makes me think of the one thing that has nagged at me for the past four days. Mads. I can only hope to whoever that she will listen to me. That is the only thing I am asking for. I know she'll ask questions, however, I don't know how I am going to answer them. I guess I should be thinking up some things on the long flight tomorrow.
I still can't get the way she acted and her tone on the phone out of my head. I could tell something was terribly wrong with her and it pains me because I know that I caused her to feel that way. I can't keep hurting people like this. As I think this, something clicks in my fucked up brain; I refuse to keep hurting people anymore. Like I said before, I have to pick up the pieces of this mess I have made.
"You're thinking too hard," Nora comments when we enter the elevator of her apartment building. I snicker at her, leaning my head against the wall.
"Sorry," I raise my eyebrows at her and a slight smirk is apparent on her face when we exit the elevator.
She unlocks the door to the apartment quickly and she lets me step in first. I step out of my shoes as Nora flicks on a lamp, a warm glow settling in the living and kitchen area.
When I make my way over to the couch to sit down, Nora's voice stops me.
"Martijn," she spits out quickly. I turn my head, making a 'hm' noise. "Go to bed, trust me, you need it," she takes off her own shoes and I don't see how she wears them damn things. A small boot with the slightest heel on them. Fuck; I'd cut my feet off.
"I'm not tired," I shake my head and her eyes lowers at me.
"You're lying skills have become shit," she says jokingly, but I know she is being serious. I narrow my eyes at her. I then stand up and a smile grows on her face and I know I just boosted up her character.
When I walk past her I curse at her lowly and a loud laugh emits from her, before I close the door to the room, the sight of the bed making me weak. Maybe I have become shit at lying... it's got to be America's air. That shit is polluted like no other.
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A/N Hey everyone! How are you all doing? Eek, I'm so excited because Martin is finally going back! But omg, what do you think about what happened last year? Did you all expect that? There is one more thing though involved haha ;) Make sure to leave me a comment telling me your thoughts. Don't forget to vote too! :) <3
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