10
Everything stopped.
My heart sunk down my chest the same way I sunk down the wall.
She couldn't be. She would've told me. There was no way.
I wiped away the tears that had previously formed and sighed.
It was a good joke on her end but I wasn't falling for it.
I walked to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. I heard the door open behind me and watched as Ethan ran up the stairs. I smiled at the close bond he had with my brother.
I glanced at the time and saw that it was getting late, but instead of going to bed, I went downstairs.
*******
After hours of working myself, I finally decided to go to sleep. I'd been downstairs for 3 hours and it was almost midnight. I'd almost passed out on the treadmill when I decided to let myself break.
I opened up the door simultaneously with the person opening the front door.
I immediately went on full guard, hiding in the darkness.
I stumbled upon a very drunk version of my mother. I'd seen her drunk before but never this drunk. She seemed like a different person. Happier, more carefree. Almost how she was in childhood when everything seemed to be sunshine and rainbows until everything turned to darkness and storm clouds with cheating boyfriends and lying best friends. I almost wanted to play into my mother's joyous facade.
Instead, I grabbed her arm and led her into her bedroom. She ran into me on multiple occasions, but I eventually got her to lie down. I pulled the cover over her and left the room, turning off the lights on my way out.
I took the feigned letter upstairs, wanting nothing more than to rip it up, but some voice told me not to.
As I passed Matteo's room, I heard the occasional sniffle, and Ethan's voice soon followed.
I walked into my bedroom and lay in my bed, not even bothering to take a shower.
I closed my eyes and let go of the thoughts of Brielle and my mother and gave in to my exhaustion.
**********
I sat across from Kai, moving the lettuce around on my plate to look like I'd eaten something.
I wanted to be anywhere but here right now, but once, just once, I wanted to see my mom proud. I wanted to see her happy because of me. I didn't want her to look at me in pain anymore. Even if it killed me to please my mother, I would do it.
Both of us had hardly talked since we'd gotten back together. Kai tried, but after enough times dismissing him, he gave up. Even after everything, I didn't want to see him in pain, but I couldn't keep up with my emotions, and eventually just shut everyone out.
"Faye," Kai began in a soft tone, "can you please look at me? Look I know I was in the wrong, but I thought you forgave me. I thought we were okay, but you haven't looked at me in weeks." He sounded tired and pained.
"Hm, I wonder why," I retorted.
"I'm sorry Faye, I don't know how many times it'll take me to say that for you to believe me, but I am. I am so sorry that I hurt you. Just tell me what I can do." He reached out for my hand, but I pulled away before he could.
"Just leave it for now."
"Okay."
He looked like he wanted to push more, but didn't. I was grateful that he respected it, but I honestly didn't want to be here. I wanted to curl up in my bed for the rest of eternity.
"I have to go to the bathroom," I told him.
"Faye-"
"I'll be right back."
I walked away before he could say anything more.
I hid in a stall, holding tears back. It had been happening a lot recently, the urge to cry. There was just a pit in my chest that never seemed to go away. I didn't know if it was guilt, or stress, or the dropping of an egg.
I eventually left the stall. I leaned my hands on the sink, attempting to breathe. I looked up and the sight before me made me gasp.
Brielle.
She stood there silently staring back at me.
"Brielle," I sighed, "see I knew you weren't gone I-" I turned around.
She'd vanished.
Within a matter of seconds, she was gone.
I shook my head and left the bathroom. It was weird, but not as weird as half of the things going on in my life right now.
A huge swarm of girls huddled around me before I could make my way back to Kai. The tall blonde asked if I could get pictures with all of them, to which I agreed.
It was still foreign being recognized in public. The first time it happened I was too dazed to even remember it, now it was just an autopilot.
I feigned a smile for their picture and talked to them for a minute before heading back to my boyfriend.
I sat back at the now-empty table, watching as Kai gave his card to the waiter.
He didn't so much as greet me before we were leaving the restaurant.
I smiled, knowing it was the end of the night, but immediately frowned as I watched him intentionally miss the turn to my house.
"Kai," I sighed exhaustedly, "Where are we going now?"
"You'll see."
"Kai," I warned.
He pulled over and immediately took my face in his hands.
"I want to make this right," he leaned in, touching his forehead against mine, "Let me make this right, Faye."
I closed my eyes and sighed in defeat.
"Fine."
He smiled and lingered his lips against mine for a little longer than a peck.
He pulled back out and the longer he drove, the more fidgety I became. I'd recognized the way we were headed and knew that I would dread every moment.
He pulled into the field giddily and waited for me to come out before taking my hand.
He knew I'd known by now.
I was brought out to the middle of the field. He had set up a picnic that resembled our first date.
And the two-year anniversary I had planned.
I made my way to the middle of the abandoned meadow, next to a patch of almost dead daisies, only hanging on from the scarce rainfall.
I set down the red blanket Kai had bought for me on one of our dates. I set down some lights in case the sun sets faster than I intend.
I grabbed the basket I set on the grass and took out its contents.
I took out the ham and cheese croissant sandwiches I made, the strawberries, the mini cupcakes, and the cider I'd brought. All his favorites.
"I brought all of your favorites," he grinned.
Your favorites actually.
"We just ate," I mumbled, rubbing my hand against my arm.
"Right," he said shyly, his cheeks turning pink. He played with the hair on the back of his head before leading me to sit down. "That doesn't mean I can't still make this special.
I pulled my knees up to my chest, setting my head against them. I saw him reach into his pocket and pull two things out.
Once I was satisfied with the setup, I set down the last thing. A necklace, a gold "F" chained to the front. I had a similar one that I had been wearing all day. The only difference was that mine had a "K" on it
The necklace. And the ring.
"I found these on my dresser. I thought you might want them back," he murmured, handing the jewelry back to me.
I quietly slipped off the ring on my finger and the necklace around my neck, setting them both on his dresser.
Maybe he'll be able to keep his hands off the girl long enough to see the lack of my presence.
I pocketed the two pieces and watched as he held back his sadness. He sighed and stood up before sitting behind me and pulling me to his chest. His arms wrapped tight around me. I wanted to give in to the familiar warmth, but I couldn't.
"What can I do for you to trust me again," he asked defeatedly, holding onto me even harder.
"Just wait," I whispered, "You might not, but give it time."
I smiled and thanked her. I rushed up the stairs and counted the doors to Kai's room. I heard a noise, but couldn't decipher what it was.
I felt him nod against me.
I opened the door, forgetting to knock, and regretted it the minute I let that little action slip.
I felt his hand drag up and down my arm.
Everything stopped.
He placed a light kiss on the back of my neck.
Sprawled across the bed was a girl. Her shirt was halfway unbuttoned, and Kai's hand still sliding up even after my arrival.
He nuzzled his face against my neck.
They were kissing, unhearing of the opening click of the door.
I tortured myself, leaning against the doorframe, waiting for them to notice me.
But I'm always the one forgotten.
I stopped Kai before he could place another kiss on my neck.
"Back up please."
He sighed again and I could hear the pain in his breath.
I watched his rapid blinking as he silently unwrapped his arms from me and sat back in his original spot.
I wanted to apologize and feel his warmth again, but at the same time, I couldn't.
It was too much.
Life was all too much.
QOTD: What compliment has someone given you that you've never forgotten?
Word Count: 1643