"Chan, do you love me?" he whispered against Chan's skin. "Do you really love me?"
"Yes" Chan replied without a second of hesitation. "I love you Felix."
He sat up then gently peeled Felix's head from his neck and stared into his beautiful tear-filled brown eyes. "I love you Felix." He breathed. "I love you from the very depth of my soul. I love you with everything I have."
If it were five years ago, Chan would rather be skinned alive than say those words but now, now that he was at peace with his feelings for Felix, now that there was nothing holding him back, he could freely say them as much as he wanted. He could even scream them to the world if Felix demanded it.
He took Felix's small hands in his and planted a kiss on them. "I love you more than I love myself Felix. I love only you and I would do anything for you. As long as you don't leave me-"
"Why would you think I would leave you?" Felix asked, cutting him off. If anyone should be afraid, it was him. He was the one afraid that Chan would one day stop loving him due to all the things that had happened in the past. He wrapped his arms around Chan's neck and gazed into his dark eyes. "I would never leave you Chan. I don't even think I can"
Chan smiled wryly. He wanted to believe Felix's words but he couldn't. Not after all he had done. "Do you mean that? What if you hear something bad about me and you can't be with me anymore?" His heart ached at the thought of it.
"Then we'll talk" Felix replied. "We'll talk things out. I won't leave you because of something I hear from other people."
Chan was confused. Why would Felix still want to be with him despite everything? "Didn't your family tell you what I did?" he asked. "How can you even stand the sight of me?"
"I'm the one who should be asking you that Chan" Felix said. "What my parents did to you and your sister, I-"
Chan quickly cut him off by placing a finger on his lips. "I don't blame you for that. I did it once but I never will again" He stared deep into Felix's eyes, dead serious. "You're not responsible for what your parents did nor are you responsible for what happened to Aera. I know you loved her and did your best to protect her. That's enough for me. We can't change the past Felix but we can move on and create our future and I can't see my future without you"
Tears gathered in Felix eyes as he stared up at Chan, astonished. "Chan..."
"I'm sorry for the things I did to you Felix" he whispered. "You have no idea how deeply I regret it. If I could go back in time and change it, I won't hesitate at all. Bu-"
Felix cut Chan off this time by planting a kiss on his lips. It was brief but effective, leaving Chan stunned. "You said we can't change the past but we can move on and create our future so stop talking about it." He held Chan's hands and stared at him with eyes full of hope. "Let's create our future Chan. I also can't imagine one without you"
The joy in Chan knew no bounds. He cupped Felix's cheeks and captured his lips in a toe curling kiss. Felix parted his lips, giving Chan access and Chan pushed his tongue deep into Felix's warm mouth which elicited a soft moan from Felix.
Felix's arms went down Chan's back and Chan flinched a little from the pain.
Felix quickly withdrew his hands, breaking the kiss. "Oh my God I can't believe I forgot. I'm so sorry. Your back, does it still hurt"
"Just a bit" Chan answered truthfully, hugging Felix. Felix smelled of spices and vanilla. Perfect to eat. He leaned in for another kiss but Felix backed away and stood up.
"No more fooling around" he said sternly. "You're going to take a bath right now and I'll help you apply that ointment before it gets worse. Let's go upstairs."
"But I'm not done kissing you" Chan protested, pursing his lips. He blinked his eyes like a baby, trying to look cute but it only made Felix frown more.
"Get up" he ordered. "Or I won't let you kiss me again"
Hearing that, Chan got to his feet in seconds and held Felix's hand as they made their upstairs. He smiled to himself as he thought of a way to make Felix shower with him thereby leading to more kisses and hopefully, something more.
He couldn't wait to get Felix naked.
********
He placed his hands on both sides on the sink, caging Felix within his arms. Ever since that night, never did he think he would have Felix in his arms again. It felt so good that he didn't ever want to leave.
"Do you remember this?" Chan murmured by his ear. He felt Felix shiver and a small smile graced his lips. "The first time we kissed, the first time I touched you, the first time I tasted you..."
Felix stiffened as he felt Chan pressing against his back. He was big and warm, looming over him like a giant. The scent of sandalwood, the hard ridges of Chan's abdomen, the firmness of his thighs and the heat of his body surrounded Felix, making him feel hot and bothered.
He could remember that day clearly. It was his very first time with a man and it left him completely rattled.
But he liked it.
Their eyes met in the mirror and Chan smirked for he could see it. He could see the remembrance in Felix's beautiful brown eyes.
"You remember" he stated, sucking the lobe of Felix's ear into his mouth.
Felix's hands shook as he placed them on the rim of the sink. He was extremely nervous and slow. All his brain could focus on was the hard warm body behind him.
Chan leaned down to Felix's neck, breathing in that sweet vanilla scent and uniqueness of Felix that he had longed for for five years.
"Are you okay, Felix?" he whispered, planting a small kiss on the base of his neck. "You're red and shaking. Do you feel uncomfortable?"
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