''This is nice.'' I mumbled into Peeta's shirt.
''We should do this more often.'' He said, lifting my chin up to face him. Whilst Willow was out hunting, Rye at school and Oakley having her afternoon sleep, Peeta and myself had spent the past hour laying together and talking like we used to do. His fingers were twizzling around a lock of my hair and I allowed myself to lay peacefully on him, listening to the steady beat of his heart. ''You're so beautiful. I never get tired of looking at you.'' He said staring deep into my grey eyes. His head moved closer to mine, but suddenly stopping. His brow furrowed as if he was trying to figure something out.
''What is it?'' I asked.
''The interview with Caesar after we'd won the first games. You said you couldn't imagine life without me right?''
''Right.'' Where was this going?
''That was all lies wasn't it? For the cameras?''
''I-I don't know. I suppose the smiley, girly part of it was. But when we were in there it was you I wanted to save. The train home I was dreading the moment I'd finally have to let go of your hand. Because I knew...I knew how hurt you were. I knew, well I thought, we'd never be the same again. I didn't want to hurt you- but I did.''
''I remember now. It's a little clearer, I think after we arrived home I went to see Haymitch- he told me to let you go. But I couldn't.''
''I know.'' I looked down, not able to be held in his gaze any longer. I hated what I did to him. I just got a little lost, that's all.
''I'm ruining this aren't I'' He said, gently stroking the small of my back.
''No, no.''
''I'm sorry, I'm still putting tiny pieces together. I can't tell sometimes.''
''I know. But you can tell I love you right?''
''For now.''
''What do you mean for now?'' Before he had chance to answer the door burst open and Rye came running in. ''Hey Mr,'' I said standing up to hug him. ''How was your day?''
''It was alright, we did causes of the uprising. I know all about the nightlock mum, that's so cool how you thought of that!'' My 7 year old son, who thought humiliating the Capitol was 'cool'. I suppose it was better than him being terrified, but even so- he still had a lot to learn.
''You must remind me or your father to show you them sometime, you must never eat them ok?''
''Alright, alright.'' He said, slightly moaning at my over-protectiveness. Rye started to say something, but then look around as if he was looking for something. Willow was stood leant on the doorframe, Rye gave her a look, and in return she gave him one back before coming over to stand beside him.
''Dad, Mum- we have something to tell you.'' Willow said.
''You both do? What is it? Are you alright?'' Peeta asked concerned.
''We're fine, and we're sure you two will be too. It's just-''
''Uncle Gale's moved back.'' Rye said, interrupting Willow.
''RYE!'' Willow scolded. ''That wasn't the way we planned.'' She said nudging him.
''Well they were gonna find out sooner or later.'' I was unaware that Peeta's hand had slid around my waist to comfort me. All I could think was seeing Gale every single day, remembering what had happened. We'd cleared everything up 3 years ago, but after that last conversation we slowly drifted further apart and now he was back. His children were lovely, and I haven't met their fourth yet, all I knew is that it was another girl. Arya I think her name is, just a couple of months older than Oakley.
''How do you know? I didn't think it would be so soon.'' I asked. Peeta's hand continued to slowly rub circles on my waist, calming me down.
''I saw Jenson and Rosy today.'' Rye said, looking down as if he felt responsible somehow. I wondered if she'd grown out of 'Rosy-Posy' now, I suppose so. Did they still call her Rosy? If she was 10 that meant maybe she'd grown out of that too. It might just be Rose. But my mind was avoiding the inevitable, she wasn't called Rosy- that was just a nickname and deep down I knew I was thinking of every possible solution but the right one. My name's Primrose Posy Tiffany Hawthorne, her voice echoed around my head, as it started to feel lightheaded. Because her name was Primrose, and someone, somewhere, possibly even Gale will be calling her Prim. My little duck.
''Why was Jenson in the junior's block, shouldn't he have been with the older ones in the Secondary School Block?''Peeta asked.
''Oh he was, he was just checking in on his sister.'' Rye said. ''Mum are you alright? You look a little ill.''
''No, no I'm fine darling, I just wasn't expecting him to move so soon. Anyway, who wants some food? I'm cooking tonight.''
''Are you sure?'' Peeta asked with that ever so familiar concerned look on his face.
''I'm not that bad a cook you know- well anymore.'' I said trying to make a joke out of it. Willow stood up as I left the room.
''I'll come help you mum.'' She said, following me.
**
''Mum this is actually so nice.'' Rye said as he shovelled a plum into his mouth.
''Why do you sound so surprised?'' I asked him, smiling teasingly at him.
''And manners Rye, what would Aunt Effie say about you talking with your mouth full?'' Willow said, nudging him.
''Yeah manwers Wye.'' Oakley gurgled. I looked across the table to Peeta and rolled my eyes at our children. He shook his head and chuckled to himself.
''Right who's going to help me do the dishes then?'' He said standing up with the stack of plates after we'd all finished.
''I'll do it.'' I said standing up with him.
''Katniss, sit down you've already cooked tonight.'' He said, giving me a light kiss on the forehead.
''No I don't mind.''
''Katniss.'' He warned.
''Fine.''
''I'll help you dad! I don't mind.'' Rye said, far too excitedly to be drying the dishes.
''Come on then my lad and then after we'll go play in the games room if you like?''
''Yes, yes, yes come on dad hurry up so we can go!'' He said, getting giddy. Rye's face was lit up, because anytime he got to spend with his Father alone doing 'boy' things, was a joyful time for them both. Willow, Oakley and I were left sat at the dining table alone, whilst the boys cleaned up.
''So while they're doing that, why don't we get some chocolate and-''
''Melt it.'' Oakley chirped up.
''Yes melt it sweetie.'', I said tapping the end of her nose playfully. ''And then-''
''Get some fruit?'' Willow asked, smirking.
''And watch a film.'' We both said at the same time, screaming 'jinx' at each other like children in a playground.
''Can we watch Cinderwella pwease.'' Oakley lisped. She was going through a phase of re-watching Cinderella over and over again. If we hadn't seen it once we'd seen it one hundred times.
''Alright, then you'll become a Princess, just like Cinderella.'' I said heading through to the kitchen for the chocolate.
''Don't listen to her Oaks, I got told exactly the same thing and where's my tiara now?''
''Oak-wee a princess.'' She said annoyed, slamming her hands on her highchair.
''Okay, okay.'' I heard Willow say. ''Come on then trouble.''
**
I was lying in bed with Peeta, as the curtains softly blew from the open window. ''Peet, its cold.''
''Come here then.'' He said, stretching his arm out.
''Can we not just shut the window tonight just this once?''
''Katniss, you know I always sleep with the Window open.''
''I know,'' I said, sighing in defeat.
''Are you coming over here or do I have to get you myself?" He said poking me on my side. I pretended to be annoyed at him so I turned away, shuffling as far away as possible. All of a sudden I felt his hand on my stomach and I was being pulled back towards him. I was pulled deep into his arms, still keeping up the act I sighed deeply and tried to squirm out of his grasp. ''Are we really playing this game again Kas? You know I'll always win.'' His grip tightened and his hand slid up the front of my top onto my bare stomach, he started making small circles until they started not to feel comforting, but ticklish.
''Peeta, don't you dare.'' I warned, a mischievous smile on my face.
''Or what?'' He mumbled into my hair. Before I could answer his fingers were tickling my stomach and back.
''Peeta stop it.'' I laughed, my jaw hurting from it stretching too wide.
''Shhh, you'll wake the kids.'' He said, as he continued to tickle me.
''Then stop it.'' I said, wriggling away from him.
''Well then come here.'' I moved closer in and rested my head in the crook of his neck, whilst he held me, gently rubbing circles on my back. ''Are you warmer now?''
''Much.'' I said, nuzzling closer into him. Normally, his chest would be relaxed, and I'd be able to hear his steady heartbeat, but instead he felt tense and his heart was beating faster than usual. ''What is it?'' I asked looking up at him.
''Nothing.''
''Sir, would you be lying to me?'' I teased in a post accent.
''Why yes, it seems I am.'' He said, in an equally mocking voice.
''Is it was I think it is?'' I asked, as I drew small shapes on his bare chest with my finger.
''If it starts with 'G' and ends in 'ale' then yes.'' He said.
''Oh Peeta, I thought you said it'd be ok.''
''I'm not saying it won't be. I'm just worried about you.''
''You're always worried about me.'' I said tracing his jawline.
''It's my job to.'' He laughed slightly. ''Will you be alright seeing him around?''
''It'll be hard at first, but I should get past it. I mean this is his home. It's where I know him best.''
''I suppose so. Will you both go back to hunting do you think? It'll bring you a lot closer.''
''I don't want to be closer to him. I don't want what we had before. Maybe what we had 3 years ago, but never what we had before that.''
''What? You don't?'' Peeta said, sounding shocked.
''Of course not, why would you think that?'' I said, sitting up so I could face him.
''I-I just thought-''
''Peeta I've got you. You're all I need.''
''I just thought that when he came back, you'd want what you had. That'd you'd want more.'' There it was again, his blue eyes lost and vulnerable.
''I don't need more. Why can't you see you're enough?'' I laughed in disbelief. ''God Peeta, you're more than enough. I wake up every day and it always hits me how lucky I am to have you.'' He still looked unconvinced.
''I don't want to hold you back with your life. Gale was a big part of it, I'd understand if you'd want to see him.''
''Yes, he was. As in past tense. Of course I want to be on good terms with him, Cressida and their kids, but I don't want to relive what has past. I want my future. With you.''
''I just want you to know I'd never stop you from seeing him. I mean it would probably hurt like hell, but he can make you different kinds of happy.''
''I don't need different kinds, you give me everything I'll ever need.'' Our eyes were locked, his azure blue, and my sky grey. ''Peeta, I'm never going to leave you, or let you go.''
''I know. I was just saying th-''
''And I'm just saying I don't want to. You, Sir, give me something I could never have even hoped for. Happiness, love and hope.'' He tried to interrupt, but I started speaking before he could. ''You've turned a heart that can love only one, to a heart that's willing to love you, our children and the rest of our family. I can never thank you enough for bringing me a life I thought impossible.''
''I love you so much.'' He whispered as if he couldn't believe what was happening to be true. ''You saved me, and, and I can never repay you for that.''
''Like I said, we saved each other.''
''Can I ask you something?'' He said unsure.
''Anything.''
''Can we renew our vows? Not anything big and fancy, but just us and a few close friends. Katniss Mellark, I love you more than I can ever explain- I want us to be able to cherish that moment again. No official ceremony, just a declaration of love.''
''There's nothing I want more in the world.''
''I'll have to ask Haymitch then. Just for his last given blessing.''
It would be at this point I'd say 'I am yours and you are mine', but I'd already used that once before. So instead, I don't tell him, but show him. I lean forwards and place my lips on his and allow myself to be consumed with thoughts of love. Eyes closed, blood flowing, heart pounding. Because Peeta Mellark, is the only man in which I give myself to, my flaws, my love and my everything.