I pace my living room floor and stare anxiously at the clock on the wall, for what feels like the hundredth time.
Donovan is on his way here as I speak, and after an hour of trying to calm myself down, I still feel as bad as I did a week ago, when I woke up the day after.
It's been a month since I saw him, a whole month and the first time I'll see him after so long, I'm going to get fired, I just know it.
At the end of the day, he's still my boss.
He had probably found out everything that happened that night, and since that night, I've been dreading going outside, wondering if someone saw me, or posted somewhere about it and wrote about it.
Going to work every day with this dark cloud hanging over me, wondering if today is the day... all because of what he said that morning...
Flashback
The line rings once... twice... and then he picks up.
I open my mouth but the words don't come out, and even if they did, what the hell do I say?
After what felt like forever, I put on a brave face.
"Hi." I start, nervously rubbing my neck. "How is Europe?" I ask sheepishly.
There was a long pause.
"How's Europe?" He repeats, his deep cold voice sending shockwaves down my arm hairs and making my heart beat quicken.
"Did you just really ask me that?"
I've never heard him sound this angry before... no matter what I say, he's not going to drop the subject.
"I'm sorry." I force out. "Look, I- my friend, I didn't know you'd call, if I knew-"
Donovan interrupts me with a sigh, making me shut up mumbling, and wait for him to speak.
"I'm flying back next Friday." He starts saying. "Until then I want you to go to work, and then head straight home, or is that not in your capability, Mr. Beckett?"
I feel like he just punched me in the stomach as I nod my head.
"Am I fired?" I whisper out, holding my head in my hands.
He doesn't say anything and the line goes dead, he hung up on me.
I end the call and just as I was about to throw my phone on the bed, I see that he sent me a message.
ᴅᴏɴᴏᴠᴀɴ: Friday 5:20, your apartment
End of flashback
I look at the time again and it's currently 5:20, on the dot, making my pacing come to a stop as I run my fingers through my hair and stare at the door like he's somehow going to arrive right now and start firing me.
What the hell am I so nervous for... I don't know if it's because he found out I got completely or because someone might've seen me, completely wasted, making it a PR nightmare, or because I haven't seen him in a month, and the last time I did see him, he left abruptly, making me feel like I pissed him off.
Seconds pass... then a minute... and another, until it gets too much and I sit down from stressing myself out, from lack of sleep from worrying about the day, and from filming all day for the next episode.
There's a knock coming from the front door, making me freeze, and then slowly get up from the sofa, and walk over to the door, each step I take is a reminder of who's on the other side of the door.
I made sure nobody disturbed me today... I don't want anyone to see this.
I grip my hand around the handle of my door and open it, not before taking a deep breath to compose myself, standing tall and looking straight ahead.
Donovan stands outside my door, and the instant I fully open my door, those intimidating grey eyes and cold and disappointing stare land on my face, taking me all in as I keep my composure and look back at him.
I stand out of the way and he walks past me into the apartment, I close the door behind him and follow him into the living room, where I spent the past hour sitting, waiting for him, freaking the fuck out.
I watch as he takes off his trench coat and folds it over a chair, then I quietly watch as he unbuttons his blazer before he sits down on my sofa, not bothering to look at me as I stand in the same spot.
Come on Evan... don't let him scare you, you're a man, aren't you? I want to scream at myself.
I walk over to the sofa and sit down next to him, I tilt my head to look at him to see he's already looking at me, with a stare that chills me to the bones.
"I know you're mad... so just get it over with, I- I know I messed up." I clench my jaw and avoid his eyes. "If you're here to drop me from the agency just do it already."
I clench my fists painfully tight, bracing myself for the words to come out of his mouth, I wait... but they don't come.
Donovan lets out a sigh and stands up, making me look up at him.
"I'm not here to fire you, Evan." He says my name, instead of Mr. Beckett. "I don't care what you do with your friends in your spare time, nor do I want to hear any excuses about you breaking your contract by drinking."
I go to open my mouth to defend myself but he comes forward and grabs me by the shirt, lifting me up and pulling me inches from his face as he glares down at me, a cold hard stare that makes my palms sweat and my legs shake.
"What really pisses me off is how you still don't grasp the situation you're in." He coldly says, clenching my top tighter.
I swallow hard and press my hand against him. "What... what situation?" I bravely ask.
His free hand roughly grips my hair and pulls my head back, making me look directly at him as I swallow back my nervousness as his cold expressionless face looks down at me like I"m nothing more than an object to him.
"You're mine, Evan." He says possessively, making my eyes go wide as I realize what he just said.
"Only I get to touch you like this, do you understand me, Evan?" He says, with a dangerous glint in his eye.
His face shifts into a frown and before I can understand what is happening, Donovan leans forward with dark eyes focused on mine and roughly places his lips over mine.
His lips felt warm, and rough against mine as he moved them harshly and urgently against mine, as his grip on my hair painfully pushes my head deeper into his hard and brutal assault from his lips on mine.
I didn't have time to think as he pushed me down roughly on the sofa and got on top of me, his rough lips never moving from mine as he claims me with force as his arms hold onto me securely, making me melt into his touch.
Donovan... he's... he's actually kissing me.
God damn it when his scent hits my nose, I almost roll my eyes to the back of my head, because fuck... he smells so good, that rich scent only he has, and his hands, I never in my wildest of dreams thought I'd ever miss these large tan hands touching me all over me.
My thoughts soon turn to fog and everything around me becomes background noise, all I can think about is Donovan, as we both pull the clothes from each other with such urgency, like we had nothing left to lose as we ripped the clothes from our backs and threw them somewhere on the floor.
My cock starts to swell and I'm completely under his spell, I want him so fucking bad that it hurts, it hurts so much that I can't think properly.
I touch his chest, his arms, anywhere I can get my hands on, just to feel if it's really him, that he's really here and this is what's happening, just to be sure it's not a cruel dream.
A strangled moan escapes his lips as he moves his swollen lips from mine, giving me a clear view of just how red and beaten his lips were... all because of me.
"I missed this." He breathes out heavily as his large thick erection pokes into me.
"Tell me you want me Evan... tell me." He almost begs, searching my eyes for the answer.
I'm painfully hard, and I want him so bad.
Donovan is talking way too much... I'd rather be feeling his swollen member inside of me right now than spilling my emotions out right now, I'm restless just having him this close to me.
I want him, and I want him right now.
Putting my hand on the back of his head, I push his head down and capture his lips in mine, before pulling away so he could see it in my eyes, with no words.... not a single breath.
Only the need in my eyes, when I look at him, that's all, and my eyes tell no lies.
'I want you'. I breathe out, looking into his captivating eyes.
"I want you, Donovan."