A long one! I guess ;)
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'Kanza's POV'
I lying on my bed and stared at the ceiling playing with the strand of my hair.
Suddenly my eyes welled up as Shehryaar's tense face came in my mind. Kitna persihan tha woh aur mainay iss say bat bhe nahe ki... Lakin main Kia karoon, now everything is out of my control... Ab sab Allah Kay hath main hay. Wohi kuch kray gaa Insha Allah. Main nahe chahti Kay meri waja say usay kuch ho... Main khud tu sab kuch bardasht kr loon gee Lakin uss ko nahe dakh skati takleef main, I sobbed hard turning to my side.
Ya Allah main Kesay reh paoon gee Shehryaar Kay begar? Her sans main ussi ki waja say tu leti hoon aur ussi Kay liay tu leti hoon... Phir yeh doori jo ub say shoro ho gaey hay aur pata nahe jab tak rahay gee Kesay katoon gee? I fisted the pillow in my hand and cried. My head was aching badly as if someone is hammering it.
Mujay pata hay Nouman loves me and he won't hurt me Lakin Shehryaar...? I sat up straight in my bed not able to take it more. I wanted to throw up. My head which was aching and spinning at the same time was stopping me to stand up straight. Finally getting some courage I stood up. Taking very slow baby steps I reached the bathroom and went in slamming the door behind me.
I bawled out in the sink. Slashing the cold water on my face I slowly looked up in the mirror and cried even more.
Main tu kesi Kay kabil bhe nahe rahe hoon, halat hay kio meri, I thought staring at my torn face. Washing my face with 2-3 times more I went out.
I was in the middle of my big room when I literally felt as if someone had hammered my head. Clutching my head with both of my hands I groaned in pain. With earth slipping under my feet I let myself fall.... But I never hit the ground instead I felt something around my waist. I struggled to open my eyes and met his. The world stopped and so was my heart. He was looking down at me with that concern that love that I wanted to shout and tell everyone that I love this man, but I guess luck wasn't in my favour.
He smiled weakly before slipping his arm under my legs and lifting me above the ground. He picked me up bridal style and I placed my head on his chest. I so missed his closeness. His scent. His protective arms only in these few hours.
He carefully placed me on the bed in a sitting position and adjusted the pillow.
"P-Pani" I said and he nodded.
He brought the glass of water near my lips. I looked at him and he nodded assuringly before placing the glass between my lips. I gulped down the water in one go and he placed the glass back on the table.
My body was aching and was so my heart seeing him all caring for me and here I am who will give him the shock of his life.
"Kesi ho?" He asked sitting on the edge of my bed. I nodded.
"Lag tu nahe raha, your eyes are red as if you were crying, Kia hoa?" He asked and I just kept quiet trying not to look at his face.
"Kanza" he called out again and I gulped in.
"Shehryaar mujay bat nahe krni" I said and turned my head in other side folding my paining arms against my chest.
"Kiun bat nahe krni, naraz ho mujh say?" he asked softly and I closed my eyes not letting tears form in them.
"Shehryaar please.." I trailed off.
"Kia hoa hay, kal raat tak tu sab theek tha humharay beech..".
"Even a minute is too much to change our lives" I said with shaky voice.
"Kia change hoa hay? Kuch bhe nahe" he said and I shook my head.
"Shehryaar please mujay tang na karo joa yahan say" I said with a stone on my heart.
"Nahe mainy jaoon gaa until you tell me everything" he said stubbornly and I fisted my hand. I couldn't help and few tears rolled down my cheek.
"Hey... Kanza tum or kiun rahe hoo?" He asked nearing me and cupping my face.
"Shehryaar please...." I trailed off and wrapped my arms around his neck.
He as usual never resisting wrapped his arms around me too. I sobbed in the crook of his neck. I can't let you go... I can't. Kiun Yeh saga mil rahe hay mujay? Kiun meri life main khushi ki jag bhe gam nay lay li hay?
I fisted his hoodie. I wasn't letting him move away from myself. I was clung to him like this is the last time am hugging him... And maybe I am.
"Kanza, shush shush don't cry, don't" he caresses my back . I could feel his voice tensing up.
I slowly pulled away and he smiled wiping my cheeks.
"Good girl" he smiled and I sniffed.
"Now tell me why are you crying?" He asked me and I went panicking again.
"Shehryaar choro.." I said and he narrowed his eyes at me.
"Kanza batao?" He pressed and I took in a deep breathe.
"There is nothing for you to know except one thing that please leave.me.alone" I said and he looked at me.
"What?".
"Yes I want you to forget about me, I... I can't be with you any m-more" I said and he looked at me disbelief.
"Kazna you are joking right?" He asked and something at the back of my eyes stung.
"No am not" for a second silence covered us.
"And why is that so?" He asked.
"Because am getting married to Nouman within a month, so please forget it that I even exist and move on with your life " I said and his eyes almost fell out of their sockets. He remained silent for a second and then he narrowed his eyes as if he remembered something.
'Shehry's POV'
I got it.
"Kanza does Nouman has to do something with this?" I asked sternly and she looked down.
"Am not answering any of your questions" she said and I fisted my hand.
"Kazna, asay he pyaar nahe Kia tha, I loved you so that I can be with you in every thick and thin" I said looking right in her eyes and she avoided my gaze.
"Shehryaar please, meray lia yeh aur mushkil naa banao" she said her voice shaking with tears forming in her eyes.
"Tu phir bata doo na" I said softly holding her hand.
"Shehryaar I cannot, main nahe bata skati" she said looking down.
"Do you even trust me?" I asked feeling hurt and she bit her lower lip.
"I do but..".
"If you do then there is no place for these buts" I said firmly and she looked at me.
"Shehryaar I love you and I know you love me more aur issi pyaar Kay khatir mujay bhul jao please" she said and I felt something breaking in me.
"Kanza how could you even..?" I looked at her with tears forming in my eyes too.
"Shehryaar mujay maaf krdo, main tumharay kabil khabi the he nahe" she said clasping her hands together in front of her face.
"Mainay galti ki hay, apnay fiancé ko dokhay main rakh kr, and am suffering the punishment" she said now crying and I felt a little moistened near my eye.
"Mujay phely yeh tu usay bata dena chahiya tha yeh phir pyaar he nahe krna chahiya tha" she sobbed hiding her face in her palms and I sat there saying nothing.
Kanza kesay keh dia tum nay kay bhool jaoon... Itna asan hay kia! Apnay baray main bhool janay ka nahe keh rahe balkay meri zindagi bhool janay ka keh rahe hoo tum mujh say, I looked at her face and my heart squeezed.
"Kanza lakin we will convince him.."
"No we cannot convince him, we cannot..." She said, her face wet with the tears and my heart ached even more.
"Lakin our promises, our wishes, our dreams un sab Ka Kia?" I asked and she sniffed.
"Humhara pyaar saccha tha balkay hay bhe lakin hum nay tareeka galat apnaya, woh wala apnaya jiss say khud ko bhe takleef hoti aur dosaroon ko bhe... Aur yeh sab abhe usi ki waja say hay" she said and I looked down.
Mujay pata hay Kanza, yeh tum nay balkay tumharay indar say aik dari hoe, tooti hoe larki keh rahe hay, Mujay pata hay tum majboor ho, lakin main bhe tumhain akeley suffer krnay nahe doon gaa..
Abhe main tumharay kehnay pay jaa rahain hoon lakin hoon tumharay sath. Tumharay keh denay say kuch nahe hoo gaa...
Without saying anything I got up and walked towards door.
"Shehryaar, Shehryaar... please asay tu mat joa" she cried behind me and I halted but didn't turn around.
"Aur ighar aik miunte aur ruka tu phir jaa nahe sakhoo gaa" I said holding in my emotions and left the room.
I went out and and never stopped. I kept passing people, and went outside the hospital in the parking lot.
"Shehry..." I could heard Waqas calling me but I least bothered.
I reached my car and punched it.
"Oye, Kia kr raha hay.." Waqas stopped me by my arm when I was about to punch it again.
"Kia hoa Shehry?" Hafsa who was with Waqas asked me and I looked at them.
"Nouman Saale nay Kia krdia meri Kanza ka" I said and they eyes flashed with confusion.
"Dude what are you talking about?" Waqas asked and I fisted my hand.
"Kanza says that she can't be with me anymore.." I said and Hafsa gasped and Waqas's jaw dropped.
"No.. No she must be joking..." Hafsa said uncertain of herself.
"No, but I don't care, I know Nouman is pressing her for this" I cried punching again and Waqas calmly placed his hand on my shoulder.
"But woh asa kiun kray gaa?" He asked.
"Meray kiyal say usay pata chal gaya" I said looking down.
"But how? Kon bataey gaa" Hafsa said shaking her head.
"Kanza nay khud uss bataya hay I know, dammit I know" I said rubbing my hands on my face.
"I don't believe you" Hafsa said and I looked at her.
"Then go and ask her yourself" I snapped back and she closed her eyes.
"Yehi tu masla hay, bata he tu nahe rahi hay woh kuch bhe" she said rubbing her hands over her face.
"Jo bhe hay ussay bata dena I won't leave her that easily" I said and got in the car.
"Yaar Shehry ghussay main gaddi an chala, aja indar phir chali jaein" Waqas said and I shook my head.
"Nahe main ghussay main nahe hoon, bus Mujay yahan say nikalna hay" I said and he looked unconvinced.
"Okay but call me after reaching home" I nodded and sat in the car.
I started the engine and drove away..
Main Nouman ko choroon ka nahe, pata nahe kia kaha hay uss nay, kay kanza nay asay faislay liay, my eyes welled up, Kahin Nouman nay asay kuch galat tu nahe krdia... It hit me and my heart skipped a beat.
Main tumhary kabil the hee nahe, her words ranged in my mind.
Nouman you will not be alive ighar meri sooch main zara se bhe sachaey hoe, my jaw clenched and my grip on wheel went tigher.
Ighar asa kuch hoa bhe hay tu I don't care.... Kanza na hee tum haar mano gee aur na hee main, pyaar kia hay... Asay nahe choroon ga tumhain! Yeh yaada hay mera.. I slapped my hand on the wheel and pain shot through me.
Aur jahan tak dhor rehny ki bat hay main tum say dhor rehnay ka sooch bhe nahe skta, apni ami aur behn kay bad tumhi tu dosari larki hoo jiss say muhabbat ki hay, aur tum bhe na milli tu zindagi mushkil ho jaey gee, A tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. I jammed my feet on race and my car sped through the city streets.
Soon I reached home and went in to see Atif sleeping and Hussain talking to mom.
"Yeh lain aa gaya mom" he said when he looked at me and extended phone towards me. I popped down on the sofa beside him.
I took in a deep breathe and raised the phone to my ear.
"Assalamoalaikum mama" I greeted her.
"Waliakumosalam kesay ho beta?" she asked and I smiled. All my anger and pain just vanished away just to hear her voice.
"Theek bilkul ap sunain?".
"Main allhumdulilah bilkul theek, aur beta tumhari dost kesi hay?" She asked and I gulped down.
Should I tell her...? What will she say? How will she react? Kuch galat na samjhain...
"Shehry.." She called me again pulling me out of my train of thoughts.
"Huh?... Oh Han mama woh theek hay ab" I said.
"Hmm, but I smell something fishy here" she said and I felt heat on my cheeks. Yeh maain bhe na sab kuch samjh lati hain...
"N-nahe kuch bhe nahe mama, ap bataain baba kesay hain aur Maha?" I lied and hurriedly changed the topic. Hussain looked at me weirdly, got up and walked away.
"Ji beta ji sab theek hain, Wasay mujay tum say kuch zaroori bat krni the" she said and I felt my heartbeat quicken. Ya Allah, yeh jab desi amma abba 'zaroori bat' krnay ka soochtay hain, bachoon ki wasay he phat jati hay.
"Ji..ji kahain" I said.
"Beta woh Aik larki hay, bohat pyaari bhe hay parhi likhi bhe hay, tumhari field say related hay tu mainay soocha tumhain dakha kr pooch loon" she said and I closed my eyes for a second.
Yeh tu hona he tha.. Ulloo her cheez main dar krtay hoo, I mentally scolded myself. Lagta hay batana parhay gaa..
"Woh mama ap k-ko k-kuch... Batana t-tha" I shuttered.
"Han bolo" I got up from the couch and started parading in the living room.
"Woh mama m-mujay Aik... Aik larki p-pasand hay" I told her and she gasped.
"Hmm tu yeh sab ho raha hay wahan?" She asked and I gulped down.
"Nahe nahe ab asi bat bhe nahe hay, bus woh Aik jaga milay thay tu.." I trailed off and she sighed.
"Mama kuch tu kahain" I said when I heard no reply from the other side.
"Acha, tu usay pata hay yeh sab, aur yeh hay kon?" she asked and I gulped again.
"Ji mom usay pata hay, aur yeh wahi hay Jo abhe hospital main hay" I said.
"Beta ji mainy tu phely he kaha tha that there is something fishy, wasay khair hay tu pyaari" she said and my eyes popped out of their sockets.
"Ap.. Ap ko Kesay pata? Ap nay kahan dakha?" I asked shocked and she chuckled.
"Jasoos choray hoa hain mainy" she said and I narrowed my eyes.
"Hussain Kay bachy" I gritted my teeth.
"Nahe kuch na kehna meray betay ko, mainay usay kaha tha iss sab ka" she said in a threatening voice.
"Ji ji wohi beta hay ap ka jo mujh per naraz rakhi jaa rahe hay" I said a little bit annoyed.
"Shehry naraz na hoa karo, tumhain pata hay maa apnay bachoon main khabi farq nahe kr skti aur jahan tak nazar rakhny ki bat hay tu tum uss per rakha karo na" mom sighed and I shut my eyes and took in a deep breathe.
"Acha na ab ap apna mood mat kharab kray" I whined and she chuckled slightly.
"Lagta hay Kanza nay mere betay ki sahi lage hay" she said and I couldn't help but smile idiotically.
"Oye close up ka add day raha hay kia?" Hussain's head popped out of the kitchen doorframe and I glared at him.
"Acha mama, ap ko kio problem tu nahe hay na Kanza say, I mean...picture tu dakh he...." I trailed off not getting the right words.
"Han tumharay baba ko bhe dakhai the..."
"Baba ko bhe dakhai the?" I asked shocked interrupting her in the middle.
"Han tu unhain bhe tu pata chalay Kia kr raha hay un ka beta udar" she said and my head which was aching before now felt like it will burst out. I sat down on the couch with a thud.
"T-tu Kia kaha unho nay?" I asked and she paused.
"Well he said he has no problem until you do any hanky panky" she chuckled and I sighed with relief.
"Dara dia ap nay mujay wasay" I said and she laughed even more.
"Nahe beta humhary lia yeh ziyada important hay Kay humharay bachy khush rahain" she said and I nodded.
"Thank you Allah miyan for giving such a good pair of mama baba" I said looking up at the ceiling.
"And thank you Allah miyan for giving such a beautiful bunch of children" mom said and I smiled.
"Oh I forgot, moti happy birthday" I shouted upon remembering her birthday. Saale bhool Kesay gaya! Pitai honay wali the abhe, I scolded myself.
"Am not moti" she yelled from other and I laughed.
"Moti kiss nay kaha? Hussain nay? Hussain khotay" I said dramatically and mom chuckled.
"Acha na tang na karo phir naraz ho kr Beth jaye gee" mom said and I chuckled.
"Oye how are you?" I asked and heard a humph from other side.
"Acha na sorry, nahe hay meri princess moti, okay?" I said and heard some shuffling on other side.
"Theek hay, this time I forgive you kiun Kay am the birthday girl warna batana tha mainy ap ko" she said and I smiled.
"Yes milady" I said and she chuckled.
"And how was the celebration, and did you miss me? I asked and she sighed.
"It was great, we bbqed, ate your favourite red velvet cake, then played games, had loads of gifts and of course didn't miss you" she said in one breathe and I smiled.
"Mama dakhain chara rahe hay mujay" I whined and they both chuckled.
"Shehry bhai ho skta hay Kay main ap ko miss na karoon?" she asked and I just smiled.
"I missed both of you alot" she said and I sent her a kiss.
"I miss you too" I said.
"Main bhe main bhe" Hussain shouted and we all laughed.
"Mama ko tang tu nahe krti?".
"No not at all" she said.
"Han bus khana khany main thora sa, sonay main, aur homework krnay main" mom said laughing and I laughed too.
"Nahe jee, asa bhe nahe hay ab" she defended herself and I laughed.
"Now just don't walk away angrily, it was just a joke" I said.
"Acha mama bad main bat hoti hay, ap sab apna kiyal rakheay gaa, Allah hafiz" I greeted her.
"Theek hay beta tum dono bhe apna kiyal rakhna, Allah hafiz" she replied back.
I disconnected the phone and rested my head with the sofa. I felt light after talking to mom but her voices were still echoing in my mind. I felt the sofa dipped beside me and opened my eyes to find a mug dangling in front of my face.
"Here, have this" Hussain said and I took it mouthing a 'thanks'.
"How is she?" He asked and I looked down.
"She is fine".
"And you?" He asked and I looked at his face.
"Am fine too... I guess" I said unsure and he sighed.
"You won't let her go, right?" He asked and I shook my head. Waqas must have informed him.
"Never" I said firmly and he smiled.
"But now what we are supposed to do?".
"Waqas and Hafsa will try to get everything out of her, and that will confirm if she even told him and then depending on the situation we will plan" I said and he nodded.
"Don't worry, hum hoon gaay kamiyab" he said snaking his arm around my shoulders and I smiled.
"Wait wait.., kotay you told mom?" I asked him and he smiled cheekily.
"Unhon nay nazar rakhny ka kaha tha, ub nafermani tu nahe kr skta na" he said grinning and I smacked the back of his head.
"Acha phir tu main bhe bata daita hoon mom ko" I said mischievously and he choked on his cup of tea.
"Kia? Kia batana hay mom ko?" he asked and I smirked.
"Aqsa Kay baray main" I said thoughtfully.
"Aqsa kiun?... I mean k-Kon? Kon Aqsa?" He played cool.
"Wohi jiss ki pictures say tera phone phatnay ko aa raha hay" I said holding his phone in front of his face and he looked at it wide eyed.
"Shehry no mazak, give it back" he tired to threatened me but I just keep looking at him with a smirk.
"Kiun bus nikal gaey sari hawa?" I asked and he rolled his eyes.
"Nahe abhe kahan abhe tu naya naya josh hay" he winked and I raised my eyebrows.
"Mama ko kiun nahe bataya?".
"Woh mainy scooha Aik sath pata chaly gaa dono gaa tu Kahin ziyada zor say jatka na lag jaey Kahin mama baba ko" he said and I punched him in his abs.
"Sala nutanki" I said and he smiled back.
"Acha now am going to the room" I said getting up and he followed suit.
"Don't think to much, just relax your mind, sab theek ho gaa" Hussain patted my shoulder and I smiled.
I went in my room and threw myself on the couch under the window.
Main dua krta hoon Kay Nouman has nothing to do with this warna main usay choron gaa nahe, Kia hal krdia uss nay Kanza ka, I looked out at the bluish sky on which stars starting to appear and I glanced at my wall clock which says 6:30.
Ya Allah, Kanza bohat tooti hoe hay kay, uss nay zindaqi main sirf problems he dakhi hain, lakin kazna tum nay itni bari bat keh dee mujh say, tumhain bilkul bhe nahe dard hoa so mere indar bhe jaga lenay ki khoshish kr raha hay lakin main umeedh kay saharay ussay jaga lenay nahe de raha, my heart pained when her tried and torn face flashed into my mind.
Ya Allah phely he itni mushkil say yeh tak poochain hain agay bhe asay he madad krna humhari...
'Kanza's POV'
Shehryaar left me.
The sentence keep swirling in my mind and tears keep rolling down.
He is angry with me! I know he doesn't want to see my face. I betrayed him... I betrayed myself... I betrayed everyone, I buried my face in my arms which were folded on my knees.
Main woh hoon he nahe jo log mujay samajhty hain, issi lia her kio mujh say dhor chala jata hay... Mujhy akela chor deta hay, I ran my both hands through my hairs and pulled them in anger.
I moved and hang my legs down the bed to get up but my plastered feet didn't let me.
It was painning...
Pain! Pain is my fate now, I have to live in pain for betraying Shehryaar, for betraying Nouman and for betraying people who loved... Ignoring everything I got up and walked to the window. But I unbalanced ending up on the floor and instantly started crying again.
I am mentally and physically retard!
I was angry but was not sure with what? With my life? Or with myself?
I dragged myself to the wall and rested my back with it.
Am no more! Am a dead soul with only living body! I can't stand any pain, or problems any more...
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Noooo! This cannot be happening...
I know how you all will be right now, am the same :'(
One word for Kanza and shehryaar.
And AmaaniChhibu22 I got the song! :) but still thanks :*
The song attached is "Naina lagiyan barishaa" from "Anjana Anjani"
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Love you all :*