" You okay? " Blake turned to me while I ended the phone call. A nod was enough for him to realize that I was still confused myself.
" Alec, -" Blake began but I cut him off as soon as he spoke.
" I miss him. "
" I know, I just want you to reconsider things with him. He's been off since you blocked him out. It's like how it's been when Rose did the same thing.Tyler the same It's like everything repeated itself. "
" Rose did the same thing? "
" She cut them both off and they've began to cut off each other leaving a whole gap in the group. It's just that I try so hard to run away from my parents growing apart and here they are doing the same thing. "
" I'm sorry. " I apologized continuing what it is I had to be sorry for.
" I'm sorry for putting you through the middle of this when you tried to be there for me from day one. "
Instead of a reply back I was received with a kiss on the forehead before we both rushed out to the Andersons household.
Barging in we came face to face with the whole group seated by the living room along as they all were engaged in a conversation.
I traced my eyes around them all but mainly focused on Seth trying to maintain my focus on something less stressful.
They seemingly froze as they saw me, Amelia mainly was quiet and was the furthest possible from all of them. I froze as did she.
I wanted to yell out at her. I wanted to shout, cry, sob, but I just stood there calmly.
I didn't have the urge to burst out in Amelias face but I wanted to rant it all out.
Everything, as to how she's ruined the trust that I've built for them or as to how she took advantage of my lowest state. I'm well aware who to trust and who not to ,but beyond that she broke the link between us all.
A part of me hated her for that.
It's funny, how I had an instinct towards her from day one yet I didn't take it, I didn't approve of it.
Trust that first instinct, not the judgement.
There's a difference between instinct and judgement. I had an instinct towards Amelia that she despised me yet I didn't take it. I had a judgement, a certain judgement that I judged Seth with which I shouldn't have yet again it's a judgement. Somehow maybe I still hope that she has a side to this where she's going through something no one goes through, but her, but for now I'm speaking as it is an instinct more than a judgement since there is no immaculate reason to what she's done nor does she have a proper excuse for her to expose what she has.
It's not like I gave her a reason for her to resemble what I go through with taking a clip of my attack or what it has been doing to me.
She had no right.
" I know. " I spoke up my eyes never leaving hers. It felt like it was the only thing I had to say for her to feel bad about it and speak up. I had to watch her suffer and try to explain why she did it. I had to watch her go through the pain I have gotten through, I wanted to watch her cry and ramble out to me as to why she did that and why she's acting like she's so sorry for what's she's done. I wanted to cry to Melanie about how I'm feeling but knew that she may have knew at some point. I wanted to cry out to Seth for telling me. Everyone else had no clue but Seth and Melanie who had their sight struck to the floor feeling somewhat ashamed for what is happening.
Tyler, Alec and Blake all just stood there struck unaware of what's going on trying to understand from Seth but he had his eyes occupied for him to give them an answer. Blake ended up questioning Melanie as she seemed to begin to explain as to why Amelia is pleading me.
" Hazz-el" She began
" P-please not here. " She pleaded tears streaming down her face.
" I trusted you. I trusted you yet I shouldn't have. You proved to me that I shouldn't yet I didn't take that. I trusted you over myself.
It's funny cause I don't hate you for what you did but hate myself for trusting you and letting you be, accepting you yet you couldn't accept me. "
I wasn't done yet.
" How many times have you done this to them? How many times have you took advantage of their trust? "
" I don't know what it is, but I can barely look at you right now. If you spreading my weakness made you feel better so be it.
I just pity you for using my weakness to overcome yours. If it did, I'll be satisfied knowing that my anxiety is making someone feel good about herself.
Maybe others feel that way too. "
Tyler broke the silence by storming out.
" T-ty, pplease don't d-don't do this. " She sobbed.
" Don't call me that! " He hissed at her.
" S-Seth? Len? " She sobbed fearing the loss of her friends trust. It struck Melanie out the living room and straight upstairs away from us as possible, Blake following after her to make sure she was okay.
" Pplease don't do this Ty. "
He hissed as I flinched but quickly recovered as Amelia grabbed her things without uttering a single word.
It was silent, silent enough for you to hear my heart thump out of its cage, or how my breathing rate is rapid.
The way we all just sat there was enough for us to comprehend what had gone up. I wasn't as surprised but for them I'd claim it beyond confounding. To know that your one of your closest friends may to turn to be the one to expose your past to your worst enemy must be beyond confounding. To know that someone you dearly cared for and trusted broke the only thing you had, trust, had to leave them beyond confounded.
Exposing me wasn't as hurtful as it must've been to them.
The thought of how scary it could be for them as a whole group made me realize that they needed time as much I did before and they deserve the space they need as a group despite them not mentioning it, it was apparent enough for me to realize, and so I excused myself mentioning I'd go to bed in dads room and if they needed something I'd be close by.
I guess I need my own time as well as them.
Sinking into dads bed made me feel at home, at peace. The feeling you once had when you'd hide under your parents sheets chuckling quietly praying that they wouldn't see you while you were in an intense game of hide and seek or when it'd be the first place you'd run off to cry to.
It was the exact same intensive feeling in my chest, although I was older but still younger within.
Deep down, we all know that despite how old we grow it's the one place that's makes us feel home, at peace.
It's funny how twists and turns take over your life and you just have nothing to do about it but to just sit down and let it happen.
It's funny how you've gone through certain situations in your life yet still had nothing to do about it or how people go through emotions opposite of what you expected yet you still have nothing to do about it.
How you watch people take certain actions affecting you yet you sit and observe them take action.
You completely just sit there and embrace it.
At points you wish for everything to go in a certain way or a certain pace yet somehow it goes otherwise but what's important is are you willing to flow along with the way it goes and move on or hold onto it and stay stuck forever.
Like a child, I dazed off.
I dazed off only leading me to dreaming.
dreaming led me to swim around in the bed to wake up with a thud as I fell hard on my chest.
I laid there flat on my back to contain my breathing but it didn't work, I tried on my stomach but it only felt worse, somehow it felt bruised. I turned to lay on my right side able to contain my breathe.
As I inhaled I assumed I saw something by the edge of the bed cover, pulling it over to come across what I'd seen the door knob stopped me to it as it came to a halt before I sat up acting like I was startled.
" You okay dear? " Dad asked extending his hand for me to pull myself up.
" I think I broke a rib. " I choked which he laughed to.
" I knew I heard a thud. "
" Yep, that was me. "
" so, it seems like you missed me while I was at work. " He ruffled my hair as I still haven't accepted him for hiding Aaron's situation or the fact that he hid it from me after coming here and starting our new life ** his.
" I guess. "
I half heartedly smiled as I still had my mind tangled to the box I left under there.
Maybe it's meant to be that way, unrevealed.
__________________________
Goodnight guys or Goodmorning. ♥️
Depends on your time zone.
Where are you guys from? You know I'm from Libya and grew in Canada.
Where are you guys?
Anyways hope I make your day with these updates.
We're not to far from the ending. . .