Clouds covered the bright moon and the twinkling stars. It's particularly dark and cold tonight, especially with the wind softly blowing.
A black mass formed above the figurehead of the ship. The amassment soon concentrated in a small clump before swirling into a whirlpool, a foot and then a whole body coming out of the opening.
Megumi immediately erased her presence and hid her chakra signature. She hasn't returned in quite a while. She specifically chose post-midnight to return in order to avoid unwanted questions on how she looks right now.
The kunoichi scrunches her nose at the coppery smell strongly emanating from her. Her onyx eyes glanced at her clothes. Her anbu attire's dripping in blood. She grimaced as the crimson liquid pool on the sheep figurehead which has to be white. Luffy will surely be mad once he discovers she stained his special seat with the blood of those she slayed.
Silently cursing, she hopped off the figure head and onto the deck, making use of her ninja abilities to make no noise to not wake up the crew.
Her plan is to take a bath and clean her mess before any of the Straw Hats awaken. She'd rather not make a traumatizing entrance after disappearing for days without contact.
"Shit!" She whisper-yells as she dodged an attack. She sidestepped to the left and using a gentle fist technique she learned from the Hyugas, she parried the blade coming down her head.
She curses once again for the lack of light, her eyes hasn't adapted to the darkness yet. She can't see her attacker. Luckily, she's able to sense the intent behind each strike and locate it before it hits her, or else she's alive no more.
'Block!' Her instincts screamed.
Coating her palms with chakra, she pressed them together and caught the blade. The wielder tried to pull the blade but she refused to let it go, holding onto it tightly and pulling while taking a step back.
She took the opportunity to feel the weapon. "Katana?" She exclaims.
"Roronoa Zoro?" She questions. The wielder stopped tugging, indicating her guess was right. Megumi quickly lets go of the bade and jumped backwards, distancing herself from him.
The wind blew away the clouds hindering the moon and its light spread across the dark sea. With the return of the light came with their sight. The two finally able to see the others' face and confirm their identity.
Zoro stood rigid as he points Sandai Kitetsu at the masked person before him, his other hand on the hilts of his other swords.
"Red." He tilts his head, his lips curling to a sneer. "Or Black?"
Megumi's eyes narrows, the gears in her head turning.
A trick question, she thought. He's asking her if she's Red-eyed Rabbit or Black Maiden.
She scoffs. She ain't gonna fall to his trickery. She's an Uchiha, a clan known for cultivating geniuses. Intelligence may skip generations in their family line, but not her. Her intelligence is not on par with her brothers, but a genius nonetheless.
Taking off her rabbit porcelain mask, she replies. "Uchiha Megumi."
However, contrary to her expectation, the man didn't lower his sword.
"I do not know you." He tells her. "I've heard your name yet unaware of who you are."
Megumi flinches, gritting her teeth in pending annoyance. "You're not required to." She retorts.
Her nose twitched and her skin itched. She badly wants to bath and wash off the blood and grime, yet his man before her is blocking the way to the cabin.
The swordsman twists his unsheathed sword, its blade glinting as its reflects the moonlight. "I am aware, but I want to." He whispers the last words, his pride hindering him from admitting his desire. The tips of his ears flushed. Thankfully it's night, making it unnoticeable from the distance. One more he is thankful for was that the woman before him was distracted and didn't hear the later half of what he's spoken.
Megumi tied her mask on her waist, clicking her tongue when her finger was smeared with blood. She removes her stained fingerless gloves and put them in the pocket of her pants. Despite used to killing, the scent of blood and its sticky texture sickens her. It makes her stomach churn. The fact that she's currently covered with it disgusts her. She badly wants to get rid of the stench and if this brute won't let her pass, she might as well yeet herself to the sea. But she's afraid the splash would awaken the others.
She decided to test her luck.
Taking slow steps forward, she tries to see the swordsman's reaction. He never moved, his brown eyes only following her movements. The man waited 'til she's at his side and pressed the blade on her neck, informing her his intention of not allowing her to enter.
Megumi ceased. After a few seconds of silence, she sighs.
"Have I... done something horrible to you, Zoro-san?" She silently asks. "Because as far as I know, I didn't hurt you or anyone you hold dear." She raises her head and turns to look at him. "Have I done anything for you to loathe me? For me to receive such hatred?"
"Your actions toward the crew infuriates me." Zoro answers, jaw clenched.
"I have been civil towards everyone, treating you with respect. Not once have I done any harm the crew, you know that."
Zoro removes the swords from her neck, lowering it to his side. "I am aware. However, your disappearance worried everyone. Luffy may have allowed it but I do not agree with you constantly leaving."
"Your opinion doesn't matter as long as the captain gave me permission." She pauses, realizing something. "Luffy-kun hasn't told you yet, has he?"
His confusion made her smirk.
"Wow. As the First Mate I expected you were the first to know about our deal." She spoke while shaking her head, her eyes haughty. "I'm surprised he hasn't told you yet." She tilts her head and crosses her arms, her stance displaying her cockiness. "He sure trusts you a lot."
Zoro growls, irritated by her words. Luffy may be too trusting as he trusts even a stranger, however, he knows the rubberman trusts him with his life.
He glares at her harshly, baring his teeth. How dare she try to make him doubt his captain. Cunning woman! He will not fall for her tricks.
"Don't talk to me about trust when it's clearly you don't have one for us." He bites back. He noticed her flinch and her brows furrowed.
"I am loyal to the Straw Hats Pirate crew!" She argues. Turning her body to fully face him.
He could feel the waves of anger from her, but he is just as angry.
"Trust and loyalty may be correlated but it's not the same!"
"It is the same thing!"
"Listen, dumb woman. Loyalty is devotion whereas trust is reliance." He raises his index finger and points her. "Your refusal in relying on us proves your lack of trust."
Megumi remained silent, processing his words. She knew what he meant, however, she was unaware she's doing that. She's used to being independent, only having herself to rely on in order to survive in Konoha. And in this world, she has been helping people most of the time. She's accustomed to being the pillar of support that she has forgotten how to lean on others. But that doesn't mean she doesn't trust them. It may not be by much, but she does.
Zoro studies the quiet woman infront of him. Rugged and covered in blood which he hopes were not hers. Exhaustion visible on her whole body, making him wonder long has she fought as he is aware of her strong stamina. He caught sight of the scars that riddled her arms, not noticing them before as they were light. His frown deepens as he imagines how she got them. His eyes lingers on the red swirling tattoo, which resembles a fire on her right shoulder, remembering Luffy mention how cool it was with a complicated expression.
"Meg, we don't expect you to open up that quick but we-"
"But that's what you've been doing." She cuts him off, her tone calm but the emotions behind it made him dizzy. There's so much he can't pick out. It's overwhelming.
"You've been forcing to me to open up, reveal things about myself I am not willing to." She meets his eyes again. Her eyes devoid of emotion just blank, rendering the man speechless.
How can someone look emotionless while radiating mixture of feelings?
"You've made your dislike for me known ever since I joined. Do you think I do not know of you observing me? I felt your piercing gazes every time I'm out. I endured it, understanding your reasoning for doing so. Yet you stand here telling me about trust when among us when it's clearly you who distrust me. Trust is earned not given, and I have proved myself multiple times that I am worthy of deserving it from you. However, have you done anything to earn mine?" Now it's her who's pointing him.
Zoro freezes, taken aback by her question.
"You glare, taunt, bully me every chance you get. Point, slash your swords at me as if I am your enemy. Even made my friend and student turn against me by making him your observer." She lists all the bad things he's done that once upset her. "Yes, I am aware he reports my every move to you." She confirms when his eyes widens.
"I made him stop since Warship Island." Zoro defends himself.
"It won't erase the fact that you've done it!" Megumi argues.
"If you knew then why didn't you do anything about it? You're capable of avoiding his eyes and stopping him." He questions, unable to comprehend why she endured if she was bothered.
"Because I have nothing to hide!"
Her response made Zoro scoff. "Really? If that's the case, why run away?" His tone indicates his disbelief.
An emotion flashed in her eyes. For the second time, he saw her hesitance.
"I didn't." Megumi denies. "I only distanced myself."
Zoro's eyes narrowed, noticing her fiddle with her ring as if asking for assurance.
"Was it?" He bends down to her eye level, leaning forward, their faces merely inches apart. He could feel her warm breath fanning his face and he knows it's the same with her as he saw her eyelashes tremble as he exhaled.
"It's hard to believe your claim since you refused to reply and stormed out."
Megumi stares at him incredulously. So what if she didn't? She has every right to decide whether she wants to answer or not. Though she admits internally that she did indeed run away.
Still, it's either the trees or them.
"I am not inclined to answer." She spoke through her gritted teeth. This man certainly is determined to piss her off. If it weren't for the fact that he is Luffy's most trusted comrade, she'd torture the hell out of him and bathe in his blood despite hating the crimson liquid.
Megumi crossed her arms, tucking her hands under her armpits to stop herself from reaching a weapon and slit the throat of the infuriating man before her.
But Zoro is making it her for her to control the urge of killing him.
"I am your vice captain."
Seriously, that's his argument?!
"That may be, but it doesn't guarantee you power over me." She stood her ground, refusing to lose against an arrogant prick. She acknowledges his strength and his swordsmanship skills, however, she guarantees he'll lose against her in a fight even without the use of jutsus. Same with the battle of words.
Zoro growls, annoyed by her stubbornness. He sheathed his sword, afraid he might lose control and strike her down. Unlike Sanji, he is no gentleman. He won't hesitate to hit a woman if they incite his anger, like this woman infront of him.
Megumi sneers as response to his growl. "I have said this before, my wish to be like the wind. It comes and goes. Nothing hinders it. So,"
She leans forward, their noses almost touching.
"-I won't be stopped by the likes of you. Much like the other crew members, I do whatever I want and only the captain has the authority to stop me. I only follow his orders. So unless he gives you the jurisdiction to command me," She looks him up and down, mocking him. "YOUR. OPINION. IS. IRRELEVANT."
Seeing he won't say anything anytime soon, Megumi walks away from him. But as her hand is about to reach the door handle, she was yanked back by the crook of her arm. She gasped, surprised she didn't sense him.
"We are not done yet, emo bitch!" Zoro snarls, pulling her away from the door.
"Unhand me, you green brute!" Megumi yells as she tries to be escape his grip. "You dare touch me? I shall cut that filthy hand of yours if you won't let go this instant!" She threatens, glaring at him with absolute hatred.
However, no matter how much she glares and threatens him, Zoro holds no intention of releasing her until she reveals what has been troubling her.
People like her, he's met a few of them. Appearing strong and acting like they're in no need of assistance, but in reality it's exactly what they need.
Pushing people away, but in truth they're lonely.
Built sky-high walls around them to protect themselves, avoiding pain they most likely have experienced already.
Shunning their real selves from the world when they only want to be accepted.
They wish to be loved, yet they reject the affection given due to fear that it will require something in exchange and they would be unable to pay the price.
Someone with large ego, but accompanied with fragile heart.
A woman beaten until she's a breath away from death and now an impenetrable fortress.
Bulletproof skin but her heart is shattered.
She shouldn't be left alone, Zoro concluded.
Actually, he can't leave her alone. Megumi's at the end of her wits, he could tell.
The depression, the trauma, her anxiety. It's obvious no matter how much she tried to hide it. And he's pretty sure he wasn't the only one who noticed.
So, it's either he break down her walls and pull her out or she crumbles inside and will never see a way out.
"Let go of me, I said!" Megumi struggles to pry her arm from his iron grip. "Do you hear me? Let me go!" Pull. "Roronoa Zoro!" She raises her free hand and slaps his shoulder.
Unbeknownst to them, their shouts have awaken their crewmates. One by one they came out to see what's going on. They could only gawk as they process the sight of their swordsman and ninja arguing. Not to mention, one of them is covered in blood. The bloodied appearance freaked them out, instead of the fact the two were locked in an intense argument and blowing up at each other.
Annoyed with her squirming and hurt with her slaps, Zoro jerked her towards him, grabbing both of her shoulder and holding her still. He leans forward, breathing heavily as he struggled to preserve his patience.
"Unless you tell me what's wrong, I will not let you go." He spoke slowly, as if intentionally to make her understand. His voice gruff, carrying tone of authority, like she can't disobey.
Megumi refused, raising her foot and aiming for a low kick, but he was one step ahead of her, anticipating her attack. Zoro shoved her to the main mast, the woman gasping as her back made contact with the wood and the metal plates installed by their sniper after their captain allegedly snapped it off.
"Stop pushing us away, Meg." Zoro spoke as the raven-haired kunoichi twisted.
Megumi stilled, looking up at him, eyes displaying pain. "I am pushing no one away." She denied, slowly shaking her head.
She was talking to him, but her tone hints she was saying those words to herself.
"You are." Zoro insists. "Open up. Tell us what's wrong. You can trust us."
"There you go again with that word." Megumi laughed dejectedly. "What do you need from me?" Her voice low, her strength losing.
The swordsman furrowed his brows at her question. He searched her eyes, trying to understand where she got that.
"Can't you just stop bugging me? I am exhausted." She pleads. She averts her eyes, turning to her right, and staring at the sea as she waits to be released.
"Stop being so stubborn. Just tell us." Zoro pushed, unwilling to yield to her request.
Megumi grits her teeth, tick marks appearing on her head at the man's stubbornness. he dares call her stubborn when among them he's the one forcing her. She made her refusal to reveal her problems to him clear, yet he still doesn't take the hint.
Men and their hardheadedness. She laments.
Still, she's extremely pissed off.
"Why do I have to tell things about myself when none of you have?!" She screamed, shocking him and the others who are listening in.
Megumi chose this crew because she hoped they wouldn't care about her past. Although they were curious, they wouldn't force her to and give her space. How naïve she was.
She took the leap, the risk of joining, only to be in a screaming match with their moss head swordsman.
"Because your silence is tearing yourself apart!" Zoro remarks, his grip tightening. "You're falling apart! How could you not see that?" Megumi doubted her ears when she heard his voice crack at the end.
"It's as if we were with a corpse this whole time." He continues, his gaze downcast and his tone dejected.
"It's as if you're breathing but you're no longer living.
You were just... dead."
His words struck the kunoichi. But her Uchiha pride disallowed his voice reach her. Maybe it was their clan's curse of hatred that stopped it. Since she was drowning in sorrow and anger, maybe it enhanced the curse that she can't feel touched by their sympathy.
"Just lean on us." Please
That was a demand, not an advice in Megumi's ears. And she's tired of orders, always living in accordance to multitudes since her birth.
And it happened. She snapped.
The mask she worked so hard to maintain cracked, allowing a bit of her self to slip out.
"I CAN'T!" Her voice came out in a shrill scream, yelling the words ontop of her lungs.
The loudness of her voice caused Zoro to let go of her and take a few steps back. But he eventually stepped forward.
He did it. He broke a layer of her protective covering.
"Why?" He inquires, his eyes shone with anticipation.
He should never wish this on anyone, but he hopes she breaks down.
Like he wanted, she did. But it wasn't like what he expected.
"It isn't that easy." Meg huffs, her eyes droopy and glistening with unshed tears.
Luffy remained still as he watched the event transpire. He also instructed the others to not intercept the two, and to wait for things to unfold. Although everyone was against Zoro's actions, they complied to the captain's orders. They watched with restraint, clamping their mouths shut and exercising patience as the kunoichi and swordsman fight.
It wasn't long when Megumi was cornered. Seeing her breaking down, Luffy stepped forward to put an end to it.
"Zoro!" He calls his first mate, his voice seemingly calm but the look on his face says otherwise. He was angry, anyone could tell.
The Marimo flinches at the tone the captain used. Casting the rubberman a short glance, he nods in understanding and took a couple steps back from the heaving kunoichi.
Luffy walks past him and toward Megumi. He takes off his hat and was about to put it on her head.
Megumi senses his intention, knowing how much she treasured the straw hat, she wouldn't dare let it touch her hair that's crusted in blood.
She holds his wrist, stopping him, and lightly pushes it away.
The captain understood her concern and flashes a small smile. He pats her shoulder, never dropping his smile to assure her he's not mad at her.
"Go wash yourself." He tells her.
With a light nod, Meg follows and heads inside. The others making way for her.
With the raven-haired woman out of their sight, Luffy turns to Zoro. His face laced with discontent at his words and actions but deep inside, he bore understanding.
Turning his back on Zoro, he tells them. "In the meeting room. NOW."
And without a word, everyone heeded his order.
____________________________
Okay. Before you all come at me, I am aware I made Zoro OoC in this chapter. I know he's not the pushy type. Trust me, I do.
I thought of Luffy doing the role (why does it sound like I'm doing auditions?) but I think he's way too nice and it's unlike him to be awake in wee hours. Moreover, he's too understanding as he is emotionally intelligent. The others aren't cut for it too, so I just settled with Zoro being the as*hole.
We're in chapter 17 yet Meg hasn't opened up to the crew. She's certainly warming up to them but this has to be done.
I personally disliked how Zoro handled the situation despite the fact I wrote it. As someone who's also dealing with mental health problems, forcing someone to talk is invalidating their feelings. I do not recommend what he did, but I think it was appropriate when dealing with Meg.
Listen. Meg has been through a lot and each time she's hurt, she build a protective cover to shield herself. Due to the fact she's been through a lot of horrible experiences and with an occupation that don't allow you to feel emotions and show them, it just piled up, worsened her state and thickened her shield. Also, with her identity- especially her last name- she was too busy keeping herself alive to even bother about her feelings. She would break down and cry, but it won't give her relief because there was just so much she's hiding.
I just thought that since her walls were too high and thick, a gentle approach won't work if they want to break it down. Waiting for her until she's ready would've been fine if they had the time. Like Zoro said, she's at the end of her wits. There's a huge possibility she might've unalived or lost herself entirely before she manages to reveal 'em. That's what Zoro thought, so he just did that with one foot at the grave because if things went awry, one of them had to leave the crew (voluntarily or kicked out) and/or end in a bloody fight.
As mentioned before, I do not recommend Zoro's method. I made him take the fall here (Sorry 'bout that).
I am no therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist. Yet. And I do not dare claim I am qualified to instruct how you are supposed to deal with people suffering mental health problem. All I could say is to never invalidate their feelings.
~Silver