I didn't watch The Loud House.
In fact, I didn't even turn the tv on. Or try to find the remote which is no where in sight. I swear that thing teleports. But that's not my point.
I was on Enzo's bed for a good 6.8 seconds before I realized that I'm to nosy to be pretending like I'm not nosy. Because, well, I am.
As soon as my buttocks touched his bed, I jumped right off, tip toeing quietly to the door and opening it slightly so I could listen in.
I'm a horrible horrible person for the intrusion. For lying and saying that I'm just going to watch tv so they can talk.
But the past is in the past and there's no changing it.
And oh boy do I wish I wasn't nosy because what I just heard was so horrible, so disgusting to think about, that I had to take a moment, touching my hand to my chest as I stumble back to Enzo's bed.
I hear the front door slam shut. Did he leave? Did Enzo leave? Did they both leave?
What did I just hear? Why do I have to be so nosy? Darn it, Althea!
I feel my heart beating quickly under my fingertips. Declan is Enzo's brother? Declan was...he was...
I can't even say it. I can't even think it because I can't even process what I just heard.
I gasp and stand up, realizing that if Enzo is still here and he didn't leave then he's going to need someone because if I can't process or even stomach what I just discovered then surely he can't either.
I rush to the door and open it quickly, making my way down the dark hallway. My finger tips brush the wall as I move slowly, almost knocking down one of those scary portraits I remember him having up last time I was here.
I want to comfort him, I do. But if I'm being honest...I'm scared. How did he react? How would he react? Does he even want to see me? Does he even want to see anybody? Stop it Althea. This is not about you. This has nothing to do with you. At all. Whatsoever.
The hallway opens up into the kitchen so I have a perfectly good view of the long black marbles island and the stools in front of it. He's not in there so I walk further, slowly, getting close to the living room.
Until I see him.
I scrunch my eyebrows. What is he doing? He's sitting up on the couch, the one facing the tall windows. He's hunched over as if he's looking down at something. I can only see the back of his head and his broad shoulders that move every time he inhales.
I walk further into the living room until I'm standing next to the couch. Until I can fully see him. Enzo's head is in one of his hands. I slowly move around the couch more until I can see him better. Until I have a better view of what he's holding in his other hand.
"What are you doing..." I trail off when I see what he's holding in his other hand. I furrow my eyebrows and take a step back.
It's a bottle. A glass bottle. A beer bottle.
"Enzo?" I say his name so quietly that I'm not sure if he heard me. But the twitch of his finger gripped tightly around the brown glass bottle tells me he heard me.
The entire house is quiet as I stare at him, his head still in one of his hands and his other hand gripped tightly around the beer bottle. His knuckles are white and the hand on his face is shaky.
The way the sun shines through the floor to ceiling windows doesn't seem right with the mood.
My eyebrows are still bunched up. Confused. What is he doing? Why does he have that beer? I'm trying to stay calm but him gripping that beer like it's his last lifeline makes me think of my dad.
But then all of those thoughts are erased. Gone. Vanished. When he finally speaks. When I finally hear his low voice. So deep and cracked like he can't bare to speak.
"I should have known...I should have know, Thea," he says, the beer swishing around as his hand shakes uncontrollably.
My heart feels heavy in my chest as I watch him, as I listen to him speak. I glance at the beer bottle. It's not open. I sigh in relief but my heart still aches. He sounds so broken, so tired...so guilty.
"I should have seen the signs...I should've been able to help him...it's my fault...it's all my fucking fault..." Enzos voice cracked even more.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't hear him blame himself. I moved closer to him and knealt down in front of him. He wouldn't look at me as I stared up at him, his hand covering his eyes.
I grabbed his hand in mine. "It's not your fault. There's no way you could have known...you were only, like what? Six? You can't blame yourself for not realizing, Enzo-"
"Yes I can. " Enzo said so calmly and so emotionless that my eyes widened slightly. He finally removed his hand from the place they had over his eyes. His dark eyes met mine and I gasped. They were pooling with tears. Tears that wouldn't fall. Tears that he wouldn't let fall. There was a crease between his eyebrows as he stares at me, his eyes switching between both of mine as if searching. For what? I didn't know.
"I was there! I was right across the hall! I knew he was sneaking into his room every night. I fucking saw him-"
"Enzo-" I started.
"I knew he hated Craig," he continued, ignoring me. "I knew something was going on but didn't tell my mom."
"Enzo-" I tried again.
"I didn't ask if he was okay," he said, his voice cracking. "I just ignored it!" He took his shaky hand out of mine and ran it through his messy hair.
"Enzo. Stop. Blaming. Yourself." I said firmly. I've never heard my voice sound so stern. So sure.
He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "But-"
I grabbed his hand and held it in mine again, squeezing it tightly when he tried to pull away. "There was a reason he didn't tell you, Enzo. There was a reason he kept it from you, I'm sure. It was most likely to protect you. You were only six. Six!" I stressed, chasing his eyes when they tried to leave mine. "there was nothing you could do if you never even knew! Stop. Blaming. Yourself."
Enzo stared into my eyes. Searching. I glanced at the beer bottle in his hand. The thing that ruined my dad. The thing that ruined Mr. Peters. The thing that turned them both into something unrecognizable. The thing that ruined Freddy B. Jones' life. Or at least took part in it.
I hated that thing. I hated what was inside that glass bottle. I hated it so much. It was the thing that most men in my life turned to whenever something went wrong. And I hated it so much. I hate using the word hate because it is a very strong word and I don't use it often. But I really do hate alcohol.
"Enzo..." I said his name quietly but he heard me, meeting my eyes. I felt one lone tear in my eye slide down my cheek as I continued to grip his hand. "it's not good," I said, trying to figure out the best way to put this without hurting his feelings. I really didn't want to hurt his feeling. At all. That was the last thing I wanted to ever do. But it had to be said. "It's not good for you to turn to alcohol whenever something bad happens..." I say quietly.
I was scared I overstepped. That I said to much because he wouldn't say anything. Not one word.
Then I looked at the beer bottle that he had clutched in his hand and Enzo followed my gaze. And I stared at it. We both stared at it. Eye contact with it unwavering. Then I slowly looked back at him and he was already looking at me.
And then I watched as something clicked inside of him. And the crease between his eyebrows smoothed.
He abruptly stood up, pulling me along with him as he stalked to the kitchen, me right behind him, very very confused.
Until he stood right in front of his trash can, opened it, and threw the beer bottle right inside.
He let go of my hand and I took a step back, watching with raised eyebrows as he walked with a purpose over to his refrigerator and pulled out three beer bottles and went over to the trash can and threw them inside. Then he went back, grabbed more, went back to the trash can, and tossed them in like they were nothing. Without any hesitation.
I stood back watching him. Confused. Confused why? I have no idea. Maybe it's because he's throwing away his addiction like it's nothing. Going back and forth between his refrigerator, grabbing a few beers in his hand and throwing them into the garbage.
He looks angry and then he starts walking towards me, quickly, with a purpose and I can't help but think of my dad and my mom and if I did something wrong and if I should have never said anything. If it wasn't my place. Did I make him angry? Is he going to...no. Stop. Enzo would never hurt me. He would never.
But then he's in front of me and as soon as he's in front of me he cups my face between his hands and I gasp. His face is so close to mine, our noses brushing each other's. I can feel his breath fanning my face and his dark eyes search mine. So intently as I stare up at him, my eyes slightly wide.
Then he says; "I'm done."
Done with what? Done with me? He doesn't want to be with me anymore? I said to much? It wasn't my place. I knew it wasn't. I should have never told him that drinking wasn't good for him even though it isn't. Is he angry?
I want to cry. My bottom lip begins to tremble slightly. A short intake of breath passes my lips. I don't want to be done. I don't want him to leave me. I want to be with him. Please, please, please...
I try to take a step back from him but his hands won't leave my face, he keeps me in front of him and I grab on to his biceps as he keeps me so close to him that our chests almost touch.
"I thought-" I begin but he shakes his head and cuts me off.
He looks at me with his eyebrows furrowed. "You thought I was going to hit you?" He asks as if he can't even believe the words coming out of his mouth. I look down shamefully but he raises my head back up with his hands. "I would never ever hurt you no matter how angry I am or sad or confused. I need you to know that, Thea"
I nod. "I do. Im sorry-"
"Don't say sorry" he says firmly, tightening his jaw.
"Okay, I'm sorry" I say, nodding.
"I swear to god, Althea" he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Don't use gods name in vain," I shake my head. Goodness gracious!
"I'm sorry" he says.
"It's okay. You don't have to be sorry" I say.
"Okay. I'm sorry" then he's grinning and I smile, looking up at him.
He wipes the old tear that falls down my cheek with the pad of his thumb and then his expression turns serious and he says "I'm done with the beer. I'm not gonna keep it in this house anymore and having you question whether or not beer is more important then you..." he trails of, his voice quiet.
My heart swells at his words. My eyebrows raise. "I'm sorry-"
"Althea-" Enzo groans, glaring at me.
"No. Wait. I'm sorry that I ease dropped on your conversation with Declan. I just am so nosy and-"
Enzo stopped me by pressing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. I didn't kiss him back at first because I was shocked but then I melted into the kiss. The way his lips were so smooth and so gentle against mine and so warm gave me butterflies.
He pulled me closer to him by my waist and I'd be lying if I said it didn't cause something to happen down there. He then picked me up so my legs wrapped around his waist and he walked over to the couch and layed down with me beneath him as he hovered over me, his arms by my head which were the only thing keeping him from smothering me with his weight.
He pecked me on the lips but then pulled back, his hand caressing the side of my face. His fingers threaded through my hair.
His lips hovered over mine, so close, when he said; "Thank you."
I tilted my head to the side and scrunched my eyebrows. "For what?"
"For telling me what I needed to hear. I can't just turn to beer whenever something bad happens...I needed to hear that" he says.
I nod gently. He still looked so hurt. Still looked slightly angry and confused. I pulled him closer to me and he finally rested his head on my chest, wrapping his arms around my middle.
We were both silent for a bit. His breathing became even so I knew he was dozing off.
When I knew he couldn't hear me, I pushed a peace of his long dark hair out of his face and stared at him before whispering; "I don't think, I know. You are my favorite person, Enzo."
The sun was still high up in the sky. But I closed my eyes and fell asleep right along side him.
♡︎
★ Enzo ★
There's no sign of robbery or forced entry.
I had just gotten out of the shower and was now drying my hair with a white towel. Then I stopped right outside my bedroom door when I heard what was coming from the tv.
What the fuck was she watching now?
I opened the door and gently closed it behind me. It took me a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dark but when they did my gaze immediately fell on her. In my bed.
I smiled when I saw her buried beneath a mountain of covers and pillows, smack in the middle of it all as she stared at the tv mounted on the wall in front of her. She had a plastic container in her hand and her eyes were wide as she watched the tv. She was dressed in one of my black t-shirts which I could see reached her knees when she layed down.
She glanced at me and then back at the tv but I could see the smile on her face. "Hi, Tater Tot. Out of the shower so soon?" I knew she was being sarcastic by the way her eyebrow raised slightly. I was in there for about an hour.
What's with her and nicknaming me after a fucking food? Why not something less...actually. Never mind. I wouldn't want anything to be 'less Althea.'
I rolled my eyes and threw my towel on the chair sitting next to my bookcase then stalked over to my bed and flopped right down on to it. I chuckled when she squealed and tightened her grip on the container of strawberries in her lap.
I situated myself so I was between her legs, the back of my head resting up against her stomach as she slouched against my pillows.
"Ouch." I scrunched my eyebrows and rubbed the spot she pinched me on the arm at.
I tilted my head back so I could stare up at her and my eyes met her frosty glare. "That's what you get for flopping down on this bed," she shakes her head.
"You love it." I said, grinning up at her.
She rolled her eye. "Oh, shut the front door." but I didn't miss the small smile touching her lips.
I opened my mouth and waited for her to pick off the little green leaves on the top of the strawberry before popping it into my mouth before I looked at the tv.
"What are you even watching?" I questioned, glancing at the container of strawberries she now has rested on my chest. I didn't even know I had strawberries in my fridge.
"Criminal Minds," she shrugged and grabbed another strawberry from its container. "it's not even that bad. I think I kind of like it even though Forensic Files and Netflix documentaries are more my style,"
I'm offended. "What do you mean 'not even that bad?' It's the best show ever,"
She sighed. "Oh, I wouldn't go that far. Sorry Tater Tot,"
I rolled my eyes and continued to watch the tv. But I wasn't much paying attention because I couldn't stop thinking about something. I was thinking about it all while I was in the shower.
I didn't want her to leave.
I didn't want to be here alone. I know. Coward behavior. But...I don't want to be in this house with no one else here. I don't want to be trapped with my thoughts and my guilt of what my brother told me which still continued to naw at me.
I wanted her to stay.
"Althea-" I started.
"I already called my sister and told her I was spending the night here with you...is that okay?" She asked quietly and I leaned my head back so I could stare up at her. She was already looking down at me, that cute crease between her eyebrows as she scrunched them and her eyes worried I would say no.
"Of course, sweetheart," I said softly and she smiled, nodding her head and going back to watching the tv but my eyes never left her face. Never stopped scanning every feature. Every freckle. Every line. Every wisp of hair that fell into her face. Every perfect thing about her. God, she was so beautiful. So fucking perfect.
I was in so much of a trance that I didn't even notice when she reached over me to grab the remote and paused the tv. Then our eyes met when she looked down and I raised my eyebrow.
"Pick a number from one to ten," she asked.
I didn't hesitate. "Seven."
"I knew you'd pick that number," she nodded triumphantly.
"Oh yeah?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah. I'm a forkin wizard," she moved her hands magically over my face to show just how much of a 'wizard' she was.
"No fucking way!" I gasped, faning surprise.
"Way." She said. "Oh! Your probably wondering why I asked you to pick a number from one to ten," she rambled on.
I nodded. "I was most definitely wondering that."
She leaned down and pressed her soft lips against my forehead. And then my left cheek. And then my right one. And then the tip of my nose. And then she gently shut my eyes with the tip of her finger and kissed my left eye lid and then my right one. And then finally my lips.
Her lips didn't linger on mine for long but I still wished, in just those few seconds, that I could kiss her forever. Or at least a very long time.
She pulled back from me, her face hovering over mine as her long hair acted as a kind of curtain to my face. She shrugged, her hands cupping my face as she looked at me upside down. "Seven kisses." she said.
I sighed as I stared up at her. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What was this girl doing to me?
"I should have said fucking ten." I mumbled and she laughed, pulling back from me and grabbing the remote.
"Yes you should have. But seven is better then zero. Am I right?" She quirked one of her eyebrows.
I pursed my lips. "Ten kisses from you is better then seven."
She sighed and leaned down, kissing me three times on my nose. "Better, grouchy pants?" she asked.
I nodded, grinning. "Better."
Then she unpaused the tv and leaned back, mindlessly playing with my hair.
But all I could think about was the fact that I really just let her kiss all over my face seven times after picking a number from one through ten. Make that ten times.
And I liked it. I liked it so fucking much. And liked her so fucking much.
I actually smiled at the thought of that becoming something more.
♡︎
Tysm for reading!
I really love Althea and Enzo so frickin much and I just know I'm going to be so sad when there journey ends. Ugh!
Sorry for so many shorter chapters but don't worry, the next one should be long!
Do you guys like the new book cover?
Word count: 3593
Love, M <3