Chapter Thirty One - Confused or Crazy?
- Karlie's POV -
Three Days Ago Narration
"I'm leaving," my eyes look up from my plate of food and travel up a defined face. Martin does not wait five seconds before he removes himself from our group. I furrow my eyebrows deeply, wondering what's he doing, because frankly, he said his words too fast. He's up to something.
My eyes watch him as he walks further and further away. Without one more word, I breathe out heavily and stand up. I notice Kris gives me an odd look but I push her aside, ignoring her suspecting presence.
My legs then carry myself behind his path. Thankfully, I got up quick enough so I could still see where he was. I am more than confused at this point. He doesn't even seem to have an ideal location in mind. My eyes roam around the slightly busy area of people, but I make sure to keep an eye on Martin.
He has been acting really strange lately, now that I think about. I know everyone can have good and bad days, but Martin can just take that to a whole other level. He seems like such a different person than I knew last year - then again, if I had been through what he's gone through, I think I would be a changed person too.
Suddenly, my eyes find and land on Madeline. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Ever since that bitch came here, it seems like she is the topic of everyone's conversations. "What's the preacher's daughter doing?", "Damn, she's so hot,", "I'd fuck her." My God does it make me want to kill myself. To make matters worse, I hear one too many conversations about her and Martin. What the hell would he want to do with her anyways?
My eyes roam back to Martin and I almost choke up on my own air. He has grabbed Madeline by her arm, a shocked look coming over her face. As my own shock settles in, I see him start to pull her behind a brick wall, lined with flowers. The amused smirk on his face was killing me.
My feet hurriedly make there way over there and I stand on the opposite side of the wall.
"Are you crazy?" I make out Madeline whisper harshly. I find myself leaning into the wall, as if I am trying to get closer to their conversation.
"Yes," Martin replies shortly. "I want to do something tomorrow night and me being the gentleman I am," he pauses and I roll my eyes. "I wanted to know if you were up to do it?" he finishes. What the hell is going on?
"Why not tonight?" she asks and I find my eyes widening from my perplexity.
"I'm doing something tonight," he says. I can hear lack of enthusiasm in his tone. "So, you want to do it or not?"
"What are we doing?" she asks another question and I cannot help but think in the back of my mind; have they hung out before? Please God, if you're there, do not confirm to me that these two are doing stuff together.
"I'm not telling you," I can almost hear the smirk in his voice. "So, yes?"
"Fine," she exhales sharply, sounding defeated. I chew on my lip, biting down too hard on occasions. A long pause resonates between them. "Stop it," she snaps harshly. What was he doing?
"Have you forgotten that I've seen you naked?" his voice is low and amused. My mouth gapes opens in shock. What the actual fuck is he talking about? Something boils underneath my skin. Most of it hatred.
"Shut up," she mutters weakly. Her tone to me conveys embarrassment. A loud chuckle suddenly emits from Martin. A lump forms in my throat from slight shock; I haven't heard him laugh in ages.
"Come to my dorm around eight tomorrow," he says. My teeth begin to involuntarily grind together brutally, my fists balling by my sides. To stop myself from getting even more pissed, I push myself from the wall and turn on my heels, stomping away from them.
This is exactly why I have hated her the minute she came. I knew from the moment I found out that she was a preacher's daughter, that whole innocent act would attract the guys here. Guys like Martin. I also knew this whole innocent thing was fake - Martin just proved that to me. God, I hate her.
- Third Person POV -
Whatever hatred was boiling under Karlie's skin, there was something else there. Jealously. Even though she will never admit it truthfully, she was more than jealous of Madeline. She was envious of her. She is unable to make Martin happy anymore.
After the whole incident from last year, Karlie knew there was no going back. No going back to being his. Not like they were ever something in the first place, but Karlie was sensitive when it came to Martin. She cared and longed for him, while all she was to him once in a while, was a fuck.
Karlie was frustrated that a random girl who just showed up seemed to make him happy. She was a mess inside because Martin no longer needed her as much as she needed him. It does not even have to be in a romantic way, just as a friend. He used to help her get through so much and vice versa. Madeline has taken all of that away from her.
Now, the only thing Karlie has, is a bloody nose and memories.
- Madeline's POV -
Another day, another magazine I have gone through. The spot by these trees are more than relaxing. Nothing is confusing, there is no worries; it's just all peace.
As I flipped through the pages of a People magazine, I could not help but to be fascinated with pop culture. Considering my circumstances back home, I have never seen much of it. I can relate to the whole image of trying to be perfect. And quite frankly, it sucks. I never realized how much pressure that puts on you until I got here. I have had so much time not trying to be perfect and it has been one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
"Hey," I jump from the sudden deep voice that interrupts my thoughts. I look up and there stands Matthew's broad stature.
"Hey," I reply, a smile growing on my face. "Here, sit," I pat the spot beside of me. Even though it's only been a couple days since I've talked to him, it seems longer. He smiles in return, sitting down beside of me.
"What have you been up to?" he asks causally, mirroring his appearance. He is dressed in khaki shorts and a simple, blue t-shirt, that complemented his eyes.
"Um," I breathe in, "Nothing much really. What about you?" I return his question. I guess you can say what I have been doing is nothing, besides dealing with Martin and Haley, nothing.
"Just thinking about life," he says and I can't help but giggle. "And you," my head fully turns to him and I chew on my lip from nervousness. I still manage to have a small smile on my face.
"Really?" I ask stupidly, but he answers it anyways.
"Yeah," he shrugs, his blue eyes searching mine. When I first met Matthew, I thought he was one of the coolest guys ever. He was cute yet I could still talk to him and not be nervous. However, times have changed after the party.
"I think we should finally talk about what happened," I suggest, slightly uncomfortable at the thought. His face softens, a sweet smile on his face. Well, I guess I have broken the ice for this subject.
"Yeah, maybe," he chuckles, looking away from me, staring out into the distance. "Well, what did you think about it?" I watch his throat moves as he swallows. He seems hesitant to speak as well.
"I mean, I was drunk," I point out, now looking at nothing in particular. Then, I realized how bad that sounded, so I continued quickly. "But, I did.. like it," I glance nervously back up to him. He's looking down at me from the corner of his eyes.
"I agree," he gives me a cheeky smirk. My cheeks begin to heat up. "Can I tell you a secret?" he turns his head to the side amusingly.
"Sure," I nod, leaning my head back to touch the bark of the tree. His eyes follow my my movement.
"I don't know if it's obvious, but, I like you," he says smoothly and I feel my stomach jump inside of me. My heart rate speeds up quickly from his words. Shit, why is Haley always right? Well, most of the time. I stare at him blankly, not sure of how to react. Do I like him too? I guess I do... I was not lying when I said our kiss was nice, but my brain is nagging me about someone else.
Martin. He makes me feel a certain way that I cannot describe. I feel safe and spontaneous when I'm with him. Then again, he doesn't want to have a relationship - he has made that more clear than anything.
And here I have Matthew. An awesome guy who's attractive, sweet, caring. All the things someone would want in a guy and he is saying that he likes me. But yet, I don't know if I really feel that way about him.
"Mads?" his voice says, shaking me from my reverie.
"Sorry, I just zoned for a second," I say shaking my head slightly. He looks at me with a concerned face and I feel unsure of what to do. Hell, do I say I like him? Even though I'm not too sure?
"You don't have to say anything.. I just wanted to tell you that," he laughs nervously and I now feel bad because it seems like he just said that to cover himself up.
"No, I mean, that's sweet," I smile at him. "I've just never really had guys tell me that," I breathe out and his face falls understandingly now. His eyes are shining bright, matching the sun. I think they are his best feature.
"That's surprising," he says, honestly dripping from his words. I furrow my eyebrows at him, trying to tell if he is being serious or if he is just an amazing liar.
"Why?" my fingers begin to fiddle together; another nervous tick of mine.
"Well for one, you're pretty and two, you're different from every girl. In a good way of course," he winks playfully, causing me to smile.
"Thanks," I look away from him, my hair shielding my pink colored cheeks. In ways he was like Martin. He was charismatic, always seemed to know what to say, had beautiful eyes - shut up Mads! Stop bringing up Martin. You're here with Matthew! Stop!
"Hey," I shiver when I feel his hand on my face. He moves my head to look back up at him, his thumb caressing my cheek. "It's cute when you do that," he smiles, his eyes seeming to light up even more.
"No it's not," I retort, trying to suppress my laughter. I find myself leaning into his hand, my eyes boring into his. His hands feel different compared to... him. Matthew's are more rough and callused feeling, but I'm not going to lean away. "You know, I like you too," I manage to find words, but not as much as Martin, my subconscious grins at me evilly.
"I was going to ask you out on a date, but..." he pauses looking around, his hand leaving my face. I can feel my heart beating faster. "We're stuck here," he snickers, leaning back onto the tree.
"Why does that have to stop you?" I ask him, not too sure of where those words came from. Maybe it's from my mind constantly bringing up Martin and I'm trying to regain some control.
"I've never really thought it out seriously," he smirks, laughing along to himself. I suddenly feel embarrassed.
"Oh," I turn my head shyly away from him.
"I mean, we could. If you want," he replies quickly, his body shifting beside of me. I glance at him, eyeing him closely. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. I try again, this time, something actually coming out.
"Sure," I give him a small smile. It was just one word, but that one word was less than genuine. What the hell is wrong me? What I am doing?
"Alright, lets do something tomorrow night," his smirk exudes his charisma. I sit up from my hunched position on the tree, trying to come off more comfortable and confident then I was. His blue eyes stare deeply into mine.
"Okay," I agree slowly. "What are we going to do?" I lick my lips eagerly, then chewing on the bottom one.
"I'll figure something out," he winks, a cheeky smile forming on his face. "Well, I'm going to go," he changes the subject abruptly. "I'll see you around," his smile is still plastered on his face as he stands up. I feel like the air is thick and I need to say something else, but I don't know exactly what. So, I just smile and wave as he turns his back to me.
My mental state is now officially torn. Half of me is excited that I am going to do something with Matthew. The fact that he just expressed that he liked me also sent my teenage hormones into a dance. But, stupidly, I told him I liked him back. Even though not as much as certain person.
There is the other half. Martin. It feels like I am doing him wrong. If he were to find out, I do not know what he would do. He goes on about not liking me or caring too much, but when Matthew comes in the picture, he flips. I don't understand it. I don't understand him. I just wish he would let me in.
The green view I have, suddenly bores me. I stand up rather quickly, gathering my things and brushing myself off. I don't know if I should go back to the dorm or roam around the campus. The sun is calling my name, but I want air conditioning.
My feet pick themselves up with no set destination in mind. As I look around at all of the people here, it makes me feel like I'm socially awkward. The only people I have gotten close to consists of Haley, Matthew, Cade, and Martin. If you call him just a friend, with benefits. Ugh, shut up mind.
Before I have realized, I have walked to a dorm building. I say a, because it's not my building. It's Martin's. I guess since my brain is filled with him, it has decided to lead me to him. I debate whether or not I should go in. Obviously some type of fate is happening if my feet lead me here... What if he's not there? Just go Mads.
I inwardly huff, defeated by my subconscious. I really wish she was not such a bitch sometimes. I go in, take the stairs for an added exercise today, and soon I am at room 304. I tap my foot rapidly, hesitating on knocking.
Okay, 3,2,1, go! I knock twice. I wait a few seconds and nothing happens. I slump my shoulders. I bring my fist up to the door and knock again, this time a little bit harder. A few more seconds go by-
"What?" the door swings open harshly, his voice matching his motion. A lump forms in my throat when I meet his eyes. "Oh, hey," he says, sounding like a new person compared to ten seconds ago.
"Uh, h-hi," I stutter, the lump slowly going away.
"Want to come in?" he asks, opening the door more for me, clearly inviting me in. Without thinking twice, I nod and he moves aside. I am hit with the all too familiar and intoxicating scent of his cologne. His room now looks a lot cleaner than last time. It seems like each time I am in here, one day it is clean, the other, it is dirty. "What's up?" his voice breaks my silence as he shuts the door.
"Nothing much, I was just bored," I shrug, looking around the room. His bed is unmade and his laptop is open again with the same program thing with bars and stuff on the screen.
"So you came to see me?" I turn and he is looking at me with his annoying smirk. I raise my eyebrows at him.
"I guess you are irresistible," I giggle to myself, quoting him from that day we went to that lake.
"Knew it," he smiles sarcastically, Not asking for permission, I take a seat on the end of his bed. I have to keep myself from blushing from the events here.
"No, but seriously," I pause as he starts to walk over to his desk area. He sits down in the chair so he is across from me. "I was just bored," I narrow my eyes, smiling to him. My eyes divert to the computer screen behind of him, it looking so foreign to me.
"I'm actually glad you're here. This place bores the shit out of me," he snorts, making me looking back to him. "I've been meaning to tell you by the way," he trials off, swiveling in his chair like a kid.
"What?" I lean back on my palms, them starting to sink into the mattress.
"Remember when I said I'll make it up to you?" he raises one eyebrow at me. I've never understood how people do that so well. When I try to, both of them usually go up.
"Yeah," I say simply, remembering our conversation from a couple days ago.
"Let's do something tomorrow night," he says with a half smirk. My mouth almost shoots open to say okay, but then I remember; Matthew. Shit.
"Uh, I can't tomorrow night," my fingers start to curl up.
"Why?" he asks quickly, his eyes a darker shade of green. I take a second to process something through my head.
"Haley needs to me help her with something," I reply, the words coming off smoother than expected. It's like being around him as made me a much better liar.
"Oh," his eyes have suspicion all over them. He licks his lips and he looks like he is concentrating too hard on something. "Let's go tonight then," he then adds, his eyes softening.
"Tonight?" I ask, my tone going slightly higher than normal.
"Did I stutter?" he says sarcastically. My teeth grind together as I watch his amused smirk form. "Come on, not like we have anything better to do.."
I take in a deep breath, ultimately deciding that he is right. "Okay, fine," I say, which makes me smile. He turns around on his chair, beginning to click on random things, causing the program to close. "What was that?"
"It's this program I use to make music," he says over his shoulder.
"Oh," I say curiously. Wonder what his music sounds like? Would he even let me listen? "Why did you start doing music?" I ask a different question from what my mind was offering.
"It's a long story," he says monotonously, his eyes looking nowhere in particular. There he goes; acting all conservative and quiet again.
"Maybe you can tell me tonight?" I question him suggestively, hoping that would give him a hint. His eyes lock with mine.
"Maybe," he shrugs lazily. I glance at the clock in his room and I know I should probably start going back.
"I need to go," my voice is slow as I push myself up from his bed. His eyes watching me intently. "See you tonight," I give him a smile, getting ready to turn towards the door, but I feel a warm hand grab mine.
"Come back here around ten," he informs and I nod quickly, hoping to myself that I can find a way to sneak out efficiently.
"Okay," I smile again whilst I let go of his hand. I turn and leave his room all too quickly. My heart rate picks up in a good way at the thought of him. Like I said before, Martin has this effect on me. Matthew doesn't. I have no idea if my head is just confused or I am crazy, but I cannot stop the grin that forms on my face when my fingers still burn from his touch. I probably do look like I am crazy, but hell, I could not care about anything else anymore.
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A/N First of all, can I say, you guys are sooo sweet! All of your comments make my day and the fact that you wait so patiently for new chapters, make me so happy. Secondly, I am so sorry for the little delay. Lately, school has been making it hard for me to find the time to write. But - I only have like 30 more days of school until summer! :DD This is really long, so I'm going to end it there. Love you all xx
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