❝Waq Sab Kuch Cheen Leta Hai❞
Her eyes didn't waver from him just like the way his didn't from Zeeniya. She slept soundlessly on his chest as if it was the warmest and most peaceful place on the earth. Curled up like a tiny human, Zeeniya's hands held onto his shirt. Only if Laila could preserve the moment for eternity. She had held him when he let those red tears go. He was still hurting, but how could he ever heal from the loss of a child. How did one even begin to recover? She didn't know, but she could give him her strength, the one that held her together when she first realized that her own parents had abandoned her.
"You can put her down, your body is aching and bruised all over." He had his head on her shoulder as she caressed the back of his neck.
"Just a little more." His eyes didn't move and he patted Zeeniya's back soothingly. "I know if I put her down, I won't have the courage to pick her up again." His words held a heartbreaking murmur. His world was so close to him, yet he stood on the outline.
"We don't heal in one moment. You held her and she fell asleep in your arms. You were able to hear me talk about Wajdan. It's a milestone. It's a whole mountain you have crossed." She wrapped his arms around his shoulder carefully and rested the other hand on top of him that was holding Zeeniya. It was as if she was holding him and her, an entire world in her arms. "It will take time. Maybe not a lot or maybe a very long time, you just have to remember that you are trying. You will get hurt, healing hurts. It takes a lot of unlearning. A lot of forgiveness, especially for oneself, and sometimes you just have to remember that no matter how much we try, things will go as they are written."
"You won't give up on me?" He closed his eyes, leaning completely on her physically and emotionally.
"Never. I have to deal with the mess I chose, don't I?" She bit her lip.
"Rapunzel!" He shook his head wincing a little and Zeeniya stirred in her sleep as well.
"Shehryar Ali, when I said you are mine, I meant it. You are mine and I won't let you go at any cost. Good or bad, we are in this together. Whatever life throws at us we'll pick it up together." She put her hand on his jaw and smiled, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
❧❧❧
Laila ran the brush through her hair and braided them carefully, aware of her husband's gaze on her from the bed behind her. He had been quiet all morning, following her around with his eyes as she got ready for the office after her work from home for a few days. When she looked up in the mirror while pinning her dupatta on her shoulder, her eyes met his reflection in the mirror. They knew each other, they knew the worst and best of each other, probably more than they knew anyone else. Though, it was a whole new territory to be with each other without any reservations. To get to know each other without the pain caving in between them. Sometimes it was as if they were meeting each other for the first time, learning the curves of their fate, like the way their hands were learning to mold around each other without any pain or need to hold. Sometimes they just wanted to hold hands because they could or because they wanted to.
"Will it be okay with you if you move your stuff here?" He glanced at the bag Malka had sent a few days back that Laila had forgotten due to the accident. Unconsciously, She had been removing and putting back stuff in it or taking it back to the room that was hers. She had been busy with work and taking care of him to even notice it, but it had been on his mind for a while.
"You want that?" Her hands halted at the strap of her heels. Slowly her eyes caught the top of the dressing table. Just like the way their fates had intertwined, her personal items had found their way on his dressing table. The floral perfume bottle had been neatly stacked with the black and gray one. Her watch and silver earrings were in the same glass holder as the collection of his watches. Her makeup bag sat at the far end. She lowered her gaze to her heels and strapped her heels, staying there longer than she needed to be because her heart pounded in her chest.
"Stay with me. Forever." He replied without even a breath of hesitation. She nodded, still fixing the buckle that didn't need to be fixed. Taking a breath, she straightened her back and looked in the mirror to take in her entire look. Fumbling with the beige-pink dupatta, her lips curled in a soft smile. She flitted her gaze at his reflection and he was smiling back at her.
"Thank you." She looked down and smiled again.
"What am I going to do at home?" He scrunched his nose at her, she was fixing her bag over her shoulder.
"Do whatever you were doing when you were showing up to work at twelve." She mindlessly said, irritated with the end of the dupatta that was tangled with the bag. He arched an eyebrow at her when she glanced up for a second. Her mouth opened for a second remembering the glimpse of his past years. "Yeah, I didn't say that and you didn't hear that." She shuddered at those flashes of his past life.
"But it is boring without you."
"Should've thought about that before you wanted to become some superhero and went out without security. Your bones are getting old, Mr. Oldman, they can't handle that much stress. Sit tight here and heal." She put the glass of water next to him along with all the medicine he had to take.
"Well," He took hold of her hand and pulled her towards him and she fell on top of him, shaking her head at him when he winced, but still held on to her. "Then take care of this old man."
"You ruined my dupatta. It took me so long to drape it properly." She scrunched her nose in annoyance. He snaked his arm around her waist, holding her close.
"Kuch zyada hi haseen nahi lag rahi aap aaj?" He slowly raised his arm that was hurt and traced her jaw, up her cheekbones, and towards the wisps that had escaped her braid. "This color is breathtaking on you, Rapunzel." Taking the soft fabric of her dupatta he felt it between his fingers, refusing to let her go. Her eyes snapped up to meet his and he pulled her forward to kiss her, giving her no time to even straighten her thoughts. "I'm going to miss you, let me go with you." He pulled back a little, whispering on those painted lips.
"No." She answered breathlessly. Still coming up from his words and then his touch. "I swear Shehryar Ali. If I see you there, there will be Mirchi stuffed flowers in your office."
"Zakhmi insaan hoon, thora tou reham karo." His hand fell to the side as she sat up on the edge of the bed, but he didn't let go of her hand, instead, he threaded his fingers through hers, his thumb drawing circles on the back of her hand.
"I need you safe and healed. I can't take risks with you." It was her turn to touch the fading bruises on the side of his face. The fading reminders still sent shivers down her back. She had been far too shaken to take risks and knowing her husband, she knew he was going to do something reckless if left unsupervised. "Amma Abba will be back from Multan today. Zain will bring them over. They still don't know. I'll try to come back early, but I have the chef here already and the driver also in case they need anything. Don't go anywhere except the living room and don't do anything. Okay?"
"Okay, my Rapunzel." He smiled at the concern in her voice that tried to cover the threads of fear she held on to. Bending down slightly, she kissed his bruises and bid him goodbye.
Taking her bag, she turned around to leave, she halted in the door and he looked around to see if she had forgotten anything. Looking over her shoulder she smiled at him, his lips curved up as well. Though his smile held a bit of confusion.
"I'm going to miss you, Ali Sir." He threw her a dirty at that name, she laughed and left
❧❧❧
Her day had been backed up with meetings over meetings so she had to delay her out-of-office meetings even further. The one with the board of doctors was important, even that one got pushed back further. She had files in front of her when she took out time to eat her lunch. The more she went through the day, the more some kind of uncertain feeling crawled down her spine, making her shiver. She shrugged it at first, but something kept nagging her. Stupid anxiety. She closed her laptop and bent over it.
"What is it, Natasha?" Laila had sensed the nervous click of her heels. Natasha excelled at her job and in a freakishly good way. She had been unfazed by Shehryar's tantrums and kept him in line by refuting him most days when it came to unnecessary demands. Sometimes it would make Laila smile when he would grimace at his secretary and at her professional but brutal ways. Yet, Natasha held nervousness in her veins as if she needed it to breathe. The soft steps that went back and forth, soft voice that trembled at times. Laila could sense her from far away and at times she wanted to shake her.
"Uhm." The girl gulped. When Laila looked up, Natasha almost backed out of the door.
"Is there another board meeting? He can't make it till Monday unless they want him there virtually. He is on sick leave."
"Much worse." The woman replied apologetically, pushing back her hair that wasn't even out of the bun.
"What is it?" Laila arched her eyebrow. Suddenly, the knots in her shoulders deepened and weighed her down. Her body ached at this point, screaming to just stretch and lay back for a while. "Spit it before the rise of the moon, Natasha." Natasha furrowed her brows at the bright light and then shook her head at Laila's words, turning red further.
"Uh, Uhm, Your husband is here." Laila blinked at her and then some more. "Yeah." Natasha squirmed at Laila's reddening face. Laila huffed and stood up. This man was dead today. Kameena.
"If you see blood coming out from under that office door, you are still not calling the ambulance," Laila whispered through clenched teeth.
"Not even when I see the body hanging off the building. I was never here. I'm off today, reading a book and eating greasy pasta at home." Natasha shook her head as Laila walked past her.
The door hit the wall behind it and she was thankful not a lot of people were in during the lunch hour. Her husband stood there catching rays of the sun near the window. His lip turned up when he caught her standing at the door. Only if she could scratch that smile on his face. The bright rays made his bruises even more evident, shooting her anger up another few degrees.
"I was hoping you'd show up after a meeting or two. Nonetheless, dil ko jis ki chah thi, wohi khoobsurat chehra nigahon ke saamne aa gaya. Ab yeh gunahgar dil mange bhi to kya maange, jis shakhs ki arzoo thi wohi saamne aa gaya." Shehryar crossed his arms and walked a few feet forward, arching his eyebrow at.
"Your cheap shayari is not going to get you out of this." She let the door close behind her, still rooted in her space, not sure whether she wanted to smack him or smile because his words had crossed through her heart. "I told you if I saw you here, you'd be dead meat. You have five seconds to explain." She crossed the distance between them, standing in front of him. Her heels put her on eye level with him.
"I missed you."
Laila rolled her eyes and threw him a dirty look.
"Try again. Four seconds."
"The bed was empty without you."
"Three." She tapped her foot, his smile fell as she didn't budge from her place even after all he said.
"Fine. I was bored at home. Zain said Amma Abba won't be arriving until tomorrow. He still hasn't told them. Hadiya needed them and it would freak them out so I got bored and came here. Happy?" He narrowed his eyes at her, sulking.
"Not even a little bit. So in what state of mind did you think that it would be a good idea to get dressed and drive all the way here. You were advised to do light exercise." She stared at him from head to toe. Suit jacket and Tie were missing, he had merely tucked the white dress shirt in slacks and left the top two buttons open.
"If you wanted to check me out, you could've just said so. You have all the rights in the world. I won't mind one bit." He smirked as she clenched her jaw at his audacity.
"I was not checking you out, Ali Sir, unlike someone I'm very professional." She took two steps away from him. "I was trying to figure out how much movement was involved in all this and if you have damaged your shoulder further."
"Do not call me that." He made a face at her just like the morning.
"That is your name and I will call you whatever I want. Freedom of speech, Ali Sir." She tilted her head challenging him.
"It is my building there is no freedom of anything here. Call me that one more time and you will be responsible for the consequences." He followed her as she took two more steps away.
"Ali Sir." It was her turn to smirk.
"Not my name." The play of cat and mouse started as he stalked her and she rounded the corner going backward.
"From what I remember your last name is Ali and you are my boss so Sir it is then."
"I'm your husband just in case you have forgotten." He finally had her against the window and so did she realize as her back hit the warm glass. Damn it. "You need a reminder, Mrs. Laila Shehryar Ali."
That name took her breath away. His words caressed her hot like a warm breeze would touch cold skin on an intimate evening of love. His hand brushed against hers slowly tracing the veins of her hand up to her arm over her beige-pink sleeve. Laila's body shivered. The heat of sun rays mixed with his touch warmed her body yet it made her shiver.
"What is my name, Rapunzel?" His fingers went off the curve of her shoulder to the end of fabric around her neck, reaching the structure of her collarbone.
"Ali Sir." She held her ground even when her body was melting within his touch, curving into the molds of his words, falling prey to his warmth. His fingers crossed over to her bare neck, grazing the sharp bone. It was only his index finger that moved along her collar bone with a feathery touch and Laila gulped as she curled her toes.
"Consequences." He bent down and pressed his lips on the hollow of her neck, sensing the way she took sharp breaths. The way her skin came alive under his touch. It wasn't just the way his lips brushed over her skin. No, this time he sucked on her skin, and Laila's body went still.
"Shehryar!" She gasped, closing her eyes. He stopped and his lips curved on her skin.
"It seems as though you really don't need any reminders after all." He whispered, softly kissing her on the side of her jaw before stepping back.
Her eyes shot open as her jaw hit the floor. What the hell just happened? He smirked and waved at her. It dawned on Laila what he had just done and her nose flared. He winked at her before turning around. He won. She looked around and grabbed the flimsy file before throwing it at his back.
"Ouch, didn't take you for a sore loser." He looked over his shoulder rubbing his neck. "By the way, that is abuse at work. So much for professionalism."
"be thankful it wasn't a stapler. If you even dared to come in front of me today, Shehryar Ali, your brother will be digging your grave." She covered her neck with her dupatta and walked out of there, slamming the door behind her.
❧❧❧
Shehryar flinched at the slam of the front door yet it made him smile. Hopping to the bed he got under the blanket before she entered the room. He grabbed the plate of peeled oranges and started eating them quietly. Laila threw a glare at him while taking off her heels and getting ready to shower. He innocently blinked at her, following with a smile. She returned with a sneer before closing the door of the bathroom in his face. Shehryar laughed at the display of anger and it didn't stop when she was moving her stuff. He had offered to help, but she growled with so much anger, he just grabbed the plate of oranges and concentrated on the tv.
"Reminders? Who needs a reminder that I'm married to a sloth." She mumbled under her breath when she rolled her suitcase in. A piece of orange got stuck in his throat and he started coughing. She didn't even bother, continuing with her moving her personal items. "Put that ice pack on your shoulder, Shehryar Ali, before I dislocate your other shoulder." Her nose turned red at his carelessness.
"Violent." He whispered. She halted in the door of the walk-in closet and arched an eyebrow at him as she held her clothes and hangers. "Just eating my oranges and my ice pack is here." He threw a weak smile at her. She narrowed her eyes and walked away.
Laila wasn't even sure what she was angry at, him walking into the office when he is supposed to be resting or she wanted to kiss him, but he walked away leaving her all red in the face. How fricking dare he? Even just thinking about that moment had her flushing red. She hung the clothes in the side that he had the cleaners empty out earlier. Laila twirled around and the only things he had here were sleepwear and numerous suits. How the heck did he even differentiate between different shades of black? Returning to her work she placed each and every piece of fabric neatly. After the hectic day at work and her husband's antics, it was like therapy even when her limbs were tired.
She had a few pairs of dressy heels left and couldn't properly fit them on her side. All the shoe racks were taken by his black pairs of shoes and loafers. Laila shook her head opening other drawers. He had more stuff in his wardrobe than a retail store, even the drawers were full. Sighing she opened the bottom one and her hands froze around it. Forgetting the heels to the side, Laila pulled the drawer out fully, sitting right in front of it. Her breath got caught in her throat. Slowly she reached for the contents of the drawer.
Right at the top of the drawer was her red dupatta, stark against the fluorescent glow and white interior of the closet. The dupatta that had fallen from her head when she had walked out of this room on her wedding night. She grazed her fingers across the fabric, her fingers scratched against the zari work. How far have they come along? She held the dupatta to her heart, closing her eyes. You were holding me all along? Letting it fall into her lap, she found more in the drawer, the penguin sticky notes she had given him all along, her sweater she had forgotten on his couch once, his laptop cover she had covered with the penguin sticker, and some earrings she had probably forgotten after a long meeting. But at the time she hadn't even thought about him in such a way. She had barely gotten to accept him as someone she could trust. But what really had the tears rolling down her cheeks was the photo at the bottom of the drawer. The emotions she held for that man consumed her entirely, almost constricting her lungs from breathing as she held that photo. The way pride filled her eyes that day wasn't comparable to anything. The fact that she went beyond the bare minimum limit she had set for herself and held the Master's degree in her hands. Laila had always been shy with her toothy smile, but in that photo, her smile had been wide. The cap and gown accentuated that pride further.
Letting go of everything she walked away, the red dupatta fell again, but this time in overwhelming emotions. She caught his gaze and he oddly stared back at her constant tears.
"What happened?" He put away the plate to get up, but she didn't give him any time by wrapping her arms around his neck and sitting in his lap. "Laila?" He coiled his arms around her in a protective embrace. "Laila," He whispered again as she sobbed in the crook of his neck.
"How can you love me like that and not tell me?" She closed her eyes, hoping her tears wouldn't break her voice, but everything within her had suddenly felt too big. As if what they felt for each other was far too big to be held within.
"My Laila," He traced the structure of her spine all the way to her nape and rubbed it gently to calm her.
"How long?" She turned her head on his shoulder as she held out the photo between them.
"Inaaya Factimed me. I watched you go up there. I saw the way they put the medal around your neck and you almost slipped walking away because you were that overwhelmed." She smiled against his skin between her tears. "I was so fucking proud of you, Rapunzel. I thought my heart was going to explode. I sat there and watched it again and again. I had it recorded because if anyone in the world deserves complete happiness, it is you." He whispered in her ear, holding her even when his shoulder ached faintly. He brushed his fingers over the photo that had been with him for so long.
"Why didn't you attend it? I..." She swallowed the lump. "I was looking for you, hoping that you'd walk in from some corner even if it was just watching me from far. Why didn't you?"
"I didn't know if I had the right to be there. After the way, I walked away from you. He was there. Your life seemed complete and you didn't need the heartbreak to dampen what you had achieved after so long." He pulled her closer, their limbs fitting around each other like pieces of a puzzle, holding on to each other.
"How could you think that? We were way more than lovers and heartbreaks. You were my best friend, the man who never compartmentalized me in labels or limited me to the choices I made. You saw me beyond last names, beyond what I wore, beyond what the social norms were. I was holding that degree and wearing that medal because you believed in me. Because you saw in me what I had suppressed for years. You opened that door for me so if anyone had the right to be there it was you." She put her forehead on his shoulder, breathing out the words that stitched whatever cracks were left between them.
She gently moved, but he shook his head. Every touch between them seemed like it had cost him years of pain to be there so he savored it. He held her as long as he could. She stared into his eyes, he always held so much within him. Yet he was so fragile, carrying the scars of his past, barely learning to take steps towards her.
"How can you love me so much?" She placed her hand on his jaw, threading her fingers through the stubble he had grown over the last few days.
"I just do." He shrugged as if it was as natural to him as his next breath, and he really just did without any conditions or expectations.
❧❧❧
"Miss Laila is going to murder me, Sir, and I'm kind of in desperate need of this job." Natasha stayed hot on his tail.
"I'm trying to make her ha-" He bent away, sneezing in his arm, "happy." He sniffed in the tissue as he put the vase filled with fresh roses on his desk.
"Yeah, uhm. I don't think she will be quite happy after seeing you like this. You aren't even supposed to be here." Natasha huffed, turning red with slight panic.
"I own this building-"
"She said you'd reply with this so she told me to tell you that if you don't want her to move her stuff back, you better not be here. I swear I have nothing to do with it. I'm just an innocent messenger." She pinched her throat, swearing.
"That is so unfair. How can she threaten me professionally by bringing in personal stuff?" He slumped in his chair away from the flowers. He had taken three allergy medications just to get these flowers. Hell to the No. He was not moving from here. He was here to take her out to dinner tonight because he knew the way her nerves were in a wreck because the hospital's inauguration was in a few days.
"I'll deal with my wife. Just make sure there is a fire truck and ambulance on standby." He waved at her to get the tissue box.
"I don't want to be the collateral damage in all this. Just go home." She almost slammed the tissue but then she seemed like she was about to start crying.
"Natasha, I know my wife. If I don't drag her out of her by that 100 feet long fabric. She is going to spend the night here freaking out about little things. In the past two nights, I caught her six times pacing around the room, going through the files. She is on the verge of turning into a lunatic." Natasha arched her eyebrows. Shehryar threw her a dirty look. His secretaries were always disloyal to him. Laila reported to Zain and now Natasha was more scared of his wife than him. "If you said a word to her about this, you're fired." She sneered at him but then remembered where she was. "The moment she is back from the meeting with doctors, I'm giving her these stupid flowers and whisking her away so you can go home-"
Shehryar furrowed his brows at Junaid's name flashing on his screen. He knew Junaid wouldn't call him just because when he was on duty. Shehryar's heart pounded hard for those few seconds when he answered.
"Where are you?" Junaid's voice was eerily calm.
"Office." Shehryar held his shallow breath, waiting for the clouds to crack open and strike him with lightning and burn everything around him to ashes.
"You don't know, do you?" Junaid cursed on the other end this time
"I- wait what is going on?"
"Shehryar." Junaid went quiet.
"Is my wife okay? Junaid, you better fucking tell me she is okay." Shehryar stood up abruptly and in his rush walk to the door, he knocked over the vase and it shattered making him halt for a second. "Junaid, where the fuck is my wife?"
"I don't know. It's not about her. The hospital."
"The hospital what? Stop with this fucking half sentences."
"Emergency department is on fire. They are trying to get it under control." Junaid's voice wavered like nothing before. The courage he had gotten in his slow steps broke and became shackles of fear around his ankles. No, not the hospital, please. Sweat broke around his neck. Their world crashed, their dreams shattered. "It is bad, Shehryar. It is bad." Junaid whispered.
"Laila," Shehryar coughed between his gasps. "Where is Laila?" He frantically looked around. God, what could he even hold on to?
"I don't know."
Shehryar didn't hear anything after. He instructed Natasha to keep contacting Laila. Everything was switching off within him. His world was burning, literally. All over. He had built it piece by piece, stitched it with his own blood, and found Laila. He couldn't break down even when his entire dream and project were on fire. He couldn't fall apart not until he made sure she was okay and he knew exactly where she would be.
The world blurred outside of his car. Numb, everything was becoming numb. The reality of their destruction slowly seeped into his bones, filling them with excruciating pain. The pain that took ten years to heal was coming to life again. The burden of this news pressed on his heart, suffocating him. No. I need to find her. He fought the darkness that was ready to consume him. He couldn't fall prey to his past. She needs me.
"Oh, God."
Shehryar gasped in pain, slamming his foot on the break. It seemed their world was ending as the black smoke reached the sky, blurring everything around. He sat still watching everything he worked towards turning into smoke and departing the space as if it never belonged to him. Laila. Her anchor, her anchor needed him. Leaving the car on, he couldn't even look at the side of the building that was burning. I need to find her. He chanted between the chaos of the people. People tried to stop him, struggling to ask him questions but he pushed them away gently. His gaze snapped from one side to another in the hope to find the yellow dupatta she had dawned this morning. Rapunzel. His eyes teared with the smoke but he kept blinking until he spotted the figure still far too close to the building.
"Laila!" His feet found the speed and she caught his voice. Her head turned for a second but turned back towards the building. He wasn't even sure she was breathing until he reached her. "Laila." He cupped her face, his breath heaved, but she kept blinking, looking past him. She couldn't see him, her eyes were on the fire that was burning down the three years of her life. "Laila." He brushed his hands over her face, wiping away the falling ash. "Let's go." She looked at him. Her eyes were terrifying, red yet hollow. He couldn't read her, no... there was nothing to read. She was gone, everything within her gone with the smoke and fire. He pulled on her hand and she walked with him like a rag doll and as they got farther, she turned her head. That hollow gaze stared at the building that was slowly turning into ashes and leaving her in ashes as well.
❧❧❧
Happy New Year!
I hope this new year will bring a lot of courage and blessings in your life. I hope you will all get the strength to do whatever the eff you want and don't let anyone dampen your joy. You deserve to be heard, loved, and seen. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sending you all love and hugs,
Sarah!