Hazels P.O.V
I haven't been taking it easily lately. With everything on my mind it was hard to accept it.
It felt weird.
You know how I've always wanted to know the main specific reason as to why he left us and here I am with that and still not satisfied.
It's like knowing was a lot worse than it being hidden from me all this time.
It's not like I didn't expect myself not to like what it was ,but I for sure never thought it was worse than what I had in mind.
Everyone respected me enough to stay away from me knowing I was still not accepting things.
Dad, to be specific, I made it clear that I didn't want to cross paths with him, my own father for the love of god.
The moment he walks in the house, I walk out. The moment he leaves, I'm in and that's how it's been lately.
It's like everyday I hope that this isn't what it is yet somehow it seems more than that.
**Siren**
The intercom began to whale out and I didn't have enough time for my thoughts before I had to rush off while they woke up ,so I don't cross paths with any of them.
Anna knew what that I've been waking up earlier than the rest to take my mind off things and head on my own which she didn't approve up but gave in knowing this is what I needed. Lately she wakes up the same time as I do as she prepares my coffee before I leave making my insides literally warmer.
Say it's cliche ,but to a person that misses motherly love feels like this is all I need to make me slightly happier, on the inside of course.
" Morning Anna " I greet as I walked into the kitchen where she had a light smile on her face greeting me back with a kiss on the forehead.
" Good morning honey "
" You know the coffee you make me lately is the reason I wake up for school. "
" Ouch " She mocks holding onto her heart acting like one her kids which I chuckled to.
" You sounded like Alex for a moment. "
" More like John, that's where Alex gets it from. " She rolls her eyes at the mention of her husband as I laugh agreeing seeing how John behaves.
" Yeah, I've realized that. " I smiled at the thought of her kids.
" Alex and Adam have uncle Johns goofy side and smugness. Alec has a mix of both of you I guess. He's got your sweetness and generosity and a bit of uncle Johns goofy side. "
" What about Tyler? " She asked confused that I didn't mention him.
" Tyler's genuine, but hides it. I know there's a lot more to him ,but he chooses to hide it. "
" It's funny. " She chuckled to herself not giving me a proper reason as to what is funny.
" What is? " I questioned.
" He has said the same about you. "
" He has? " I questioned her nodding before we both heard the second siren that assigns them to be downstairs for breakfast.
I took that as my cue to head off before bundling myself up with my scarf clutching onto my coffee as the one source of heat my way there.
A few blocks, the wind glistening and the warm steam coming out of my coffee as my only source of warmth. There were no sounds of birds, but the sound of the wind whistling becoming my comfort when a car stopped by me ruining the vibe.
I let out a sigh once I saw who it was because of the hope I had for it to be dad but instead was Tyler.
Expecting him to roll down the window and talk to me like I'm somewhat a stranger instead he walked out of his car and walked to my side of the car.
" It's freezing, get in. " He stated boldly holding my door open for me yet still looked serious.
" It's fine Tyler, I like walking and I like the cold meaning I l-like walking in the c-cold. " I spoke wanting to sound confident but ending up shivering.
" Hazel, you're shivering. "
" Do you have to do- " I rolled my eyes taking a seat as he shut the door after me and stepped in the car himself and started to drive away.
" Do you have to lie? " He smirked knowing he had a point.
" Do you have to be like that? " I retorted
" If I'm rude I suck, If I'm a gentleman I still suck. " Tyler mocked annoyed the slightest about what I had to say.
" No it's not that Tyler it's just why today? "
" because it's freezing out. Plus, mom approved for me to catch up on you today. She said you're glowing today in other words you're in a happy mood. "
" and you came to ruin it? " I spoke seeming serious when he turned to me a look on his face causing me to laugh out him smiling along but drifted soon as we almost reached the school before he parked a few blocks away.
Something lingered in my mind as I remembered a slight memory of how one of my past friends would do the exact thing, drive me to school as we laugh and joke around but once we reach the school her smile drops as she asks me to walk in myself hoping I don't embarrass her.
It was pretty obvious that this was the same thing so I opened the door about to step out Tyler stopping me from doing so.
" What are you doing? "
" Aren't you dropping m- "
" Here?? I'd drop you off here Hazel? "
I stared into the blue far out the window when Tyler spoke up after a second of silence.
" Then why- "
" He's going to be here today. " Tyler cut me off.
" Who-? "
" Dylan "
My baby hairs on my arm immediately stood up on the mention of his name, but I still couldn't show that I was somewhat afraid.
" Okay? Oh, that's why you picked me up today. To simply prove a point. "
About to reach the door handle when Tyler locked my door.
" Hazel, I know the last time you had an attack it was because of him. "
" Tyler, it's not going to go away. I might as well just face him and get over with it. "
" You don't have to face it alone! "
" Doesn't mean I have to face it with you. " I spat sounding rude as he was surprised with what I had said.
He clenched his jaw and turned his sight back on the road as he parked and stepped out of the car not saying another word as he disappeared.
As much as I knew I need Tyler by my side today, a part of me doesn't approve of it.
There were so many reasons. I can't simply let them get deeper into this and into my problems. I've already intruded much and they've intruded in my family problems as well so to me it feels enough.
Also, I can't act normal around them just for my sake knowing I've ignored them the past weeks.
Stepping out of the car It hit me that the twins weren't with us throughout the ride here.
Shrugging my shoulders I locked the car door and walked away seeming hesitant while everyone whispered on how I stepped out of Tyler's car him not there.
To me, it was nothing but to them it's all they needed to talk about knowing drama is there thing I didn't mind.
My anxiety did though.
The looks were enough to make me tug my nails into my palm and my heart to beat faster by a pace. Though my heart quickening I knew I had to do it with Dylan being here.
Luckily my pace was faster than my heart causing me to reach inside faster saving me from the stares and glares that I received everywhere.
I roamed along with the students that roamed the hallways. The hall being crowded would probably make you think that It'll make me feel more anxious but only did it make me feel better, squirming between them makes me seem invisible to some which I endeared.
I tugged onto the classroom door as it creaked open causing a turn of heads but not much to bother me. I slightly smiled before silently walking to my signature seat meaning in the far end of the classroom.
I had no one to accompany me but my phone so I turned on my data and scrolled through the unseen messages that I've left behind.
Alec: Hazel.
Alec: Please listen to me.
1 Missed call from Alec.
Alec: Please.
16 missed calls from Alec.
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Melanie: I miss you.
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Valerie: What adoption?
Hazel?
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Amelia: Hey, are you okay?
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Group chat: No new messages.
I had no reply to any of the messages. Somehow, it bothered me that I didn't and that I've been ignoring them. It's been on my mind a lot especially after my talk with Anna the other day. She reminded me of how much I needed them and vice versa.
Blake was the most that I felt bad for since he tried to talk to me from day one and not because of Rosy but because of me yet I still chose to ignore him as well which I hate myself for.
Somehow it seems too late to fix it.
" Good morning class. "
The teacher greeted loud enough to mute my thoughts.
This was the teachers way to get everyone to turn off their phones and assign that the class has started.
Here we go. . .
Classes flew by today as fast as ever. The one day I wished for them to last long enough to figure how to deal with Dylan instead passed like a skip. Rather than showing up to the classes he probably roams around the hallways or outside smoking.
My skin shivered as I slid the cafeteria door open sliding past the tables. I walked over to the same table I sat at the day I came, empty may I add and sat down.
Raising my eyesight for the first time I caught Tyler's glance over at me but turned once we connected eyesight.
Guess he's still mad at me for not trusting him again.
I wish he knows that I do.
I was at ease once I scanned the cafeteria and Dylan nor Cloe were anywhere to be seen.
Taking that as my cue I took out my pop tart out of my bag once I found a brown bag that reads
" Thought you may need it, love you. " -Anna
My stomach was eager for me to open it as I did It turned to be a wrapped turkey bagel with cheese.
My stomach rambled as I ate when the doors to the cafeteria were pushed open and Dylan walked dramatically in the cafeteria.
Rolling my eyes I turned back to my bagel not giving him any attention also, to avoid him and his drama queen.
His steps walked closer and closer as he neared the sound came to a stop and his raspy voice spoke out.
" Well, if it isn't the psycho. "
Everyone was quiet and Tyler was on the verge of blowing up, but was being held down by Amelia while the rest stared fiercely.
I tried seeming normal for Tyler to let it go hoping he hadn't heard what Dylan just called me.
" I heard you needed treatment. I can help you with some pills ya know. " He chuckled loud enough for everyone to hear stepping closer to my table as my face turned to a shade of white as he stood one foot away from me.
" Did you take some yourself? Because you sure need some. " I retorted back my eyes set on my food ignoring the fact that his face was close enough for me to smell the smoke reaking off of him.
" I see your whatso called friends left you for the psycho you turned to be. I guess they knew your worth. They knew you were too much of a psychopath to deal wit- "
I guess that triggered Tyler as he walked over his jaw clenched and his fists formed into punches. I rose from my seat and walked to stop Tyler from getting expelled. Blake and Seth stood behind in case Tyler does something he'd regret.
" Tyler, please go. " I whispered holding onto his formed fists in a way to stop him from throwing any punches.
" Hazel, don't do this. " He ordered looking down at me straight in the eyes.
" Pitying her now isn't going to prove a point. " Dylan smirked.
" Say one more thing about her an- " Tyler warned being cut off by Dylan mocking him.
" Psycho- " Tyler was on the verge of throwing a punch when I held his fist pleading him not to.
" Please. "
His jaw began to tick and his fists were as white as my ghosted face right now, I'm surprised that an attack hasn't found its way into this drama.
He nodded slowly but fiercely left the cafeteria.
I was about to follow behind when I assumed it was Seth trying to stop me from catching along with Tyler knowing he needed time only was it Dylan.
I yanked my hand out of his grasp , Seth doing the honor of punching Dylan for me as I ran out to check Tyler.
His figure was walking further to the tree as I ran along and was surprised with what he did.
His fist immediately hit the tree one after the other.
Not knowing what I was doing the next thing I realized that I was hugging him trying to pull him away from the tree.
" Please stop. " I whispered my heart pounding.
" It was my fault! It's always my fault! " Tyler hissed letting his arms fall to his sides.
" Shh, it's not. "
" It's my fault she took the pills. It's my fault she turned to him. It's my fault she killed herself Hazel!! "
I tried talking him out of it he wouldn't budge. It got worse. the moment he spoke out it's like he triggered his own thoughts as he began to throw punches against the tree never seeing him like this.
My body began to tense and I felt it, I felt that rush in me, the nausea, the tingling, the dizziness and the chest pain. I didn't want to show him that I was triggered by him. I didn't want him to feel like he endangered me especially after opening up to me and being able to be himself.
I didn't but It began to appear on my face as I stared at him as he threw one after the other his knuckles trickling by the time I managed to call his name but to me it didn't seem loud for him to hear me.
" Tyler " My voice faded my vision blurred from the tears in my eyes, trying to wipe my tears away but my hands and legs tremendously trembled to the point I couldn't stand still.
" Tyler! " I called but this time my voice wasn't the one calling but someone else in the background that held me from tumbling to the ground.
" Hazel. " Somebody's voice called before I passed out feeling my heart pump more than it ever has.
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Hi guys!
I miss you all. ♥️☹️
Since it's almost a new year can you all do me a simple favor and comment your favorite part or thing in my novel that made you genuinely happy.
If I didn't let me know how I can make you all happy before the New Years ♥️♥️.
Thanks in advance! Can't wait for your response 🥺