Kalliope's POV:
The woman's voice comes over my head when she speaks, but the malice contained in her words sticks. The sharp, cruel, malice that I know is aimed at Kessal, Braeden, Chloe, Autumn and Willow by digging up what happened to cause them to have to move here when their pack was destroyed. But she's not done ripping into them yet either. And those of us joined to them either - meaning me, Dana, Ace, Lex and Hale all had to suffer as well. "How oh how are the five of you alive when I watched you die with my own eyes." She sounds a tad petulant and I think about laughing before her eyes find mine and the darkness, the insanity, trapped there has Lana hiding behind Alex where she's terrified out of her mind. "How are you alive and walking around? You should all be dead."
"Patience Heidi," The woman sporting the darker hair and oddly vibrant jade green-grey eyes comments and I see a change in the stance of the woman with her - Heidi. "Patience cousin. Now is not the time." The other woman's opinion seems to differ from her companion, though her words seem to cause a change in opinion in the person she was with. "Patience, and wait. There will be another time."
Now my aunt seems to regard the two cousins with a thoughtful expression on her face. Though the emotion in her eyes is not what I wanted to see from her, or anyone, ever. "Wise words Angel. Perhaps we should all consider that." Her expression remains on those of us gathered together, but if my mind's not deceiving me they seem to linger on me, Kessal, Braeden and Dana longer.
Though she's not the one I focus on. Instead, my eyes are drawn to the two calling themselves Heidi and Angel. Heidi's the one with the dirty blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes that seem so devoid of emotion that I worry she can't feel it before something flashes in my head. The flicker of a memory from my mom that has me shivering and holding Kessal's arm tighter when he seems to notice my change in feeling. Are you ok? Kalls, are you ok? He tries to reach me but I can feel my terror racing through me with the force of a high-speed locomotive train. An echo ripping through him where we seem to be connected in a way I can't explain. Kalli? What's wrong babe, talk to me, please. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong.
Thinking around the fear I combat the emotion, being strong the way my parents raised me to be, and face Angel head-on. Her eyes are still that piercing jade green-grey colour but they seem also, like Heidi's, to lack warmth. Compassion or humanity. Unbidden memories I seemed to see from my parents - and also my uncle and aunt - flash through my mind and show me who Angel is. Who both she and Heidi are. That they're the same people who tortured and attacked both my parents and aunt and uncle. Not to mention the hurt the two had inflicted on others over the years. Meaning that the people with them had to be the ones who had hurt all our parents before we'd become involved in this game. That they were the ones we were supposed to defeat if the game our parents were still playing - and we were involved in - was to finish once and for all.
Kessal tries to reach me but I don't react to him. By now Dana, Ace, Hale and Lex are all spitting fire the way I had been before. But upon hearing my aunt's words compounded with my revelations about Angel and Heidi some of the fight had drained out of me. Along with the realisation that it was in part my fault that Kessal, Braeden, Willow, Chloe and Autumn had lost their pack. All so my aunt could drive them here so they'd become as enmeshed in this deadly game of life and death stakes that we were all bound into. That it was my fault they were all suffering. That it was my fault.
Kalli? Kessal tried again but the fight had long since drained out of me - or at least to the barest flickering embers. A pale comparison of how angry I'd been before since now I could barely breathe through the guilt swamping me. A feeling I know he can sense inside me where we already seemed to be connected as one. A low sigh slips out of me, thankfully lower than the others could hear, but I know he does when he holds me tighter. Kalls? What is it? What's wrong?
I'm sorry. Those are the first words I manage to speak to him given how sad I was, and how guilty I felt. Opposite me, some of Dana's fight had drained out of her and I see her and Braeden regarding us with the same confused stare. Theorising that I'd unknowingly managed to use the Bond between the four of us instead of the one I shared with Kessal I still don't retract nor change what I'd been saying since the words would equally apply to Braeden as they did Kessal. I'm sorry, this is all my fault. All of this is my fault and I'm so sorry you're suffering as a result. The words hurt to push out but I have to say them at least once. Even if for no other reason than to explain the fucked up reason the two were here. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry.
What for baby? Kessal's the one to respond but I can feel the other two listening since their presences are in my head the same way he was but they choose to remain silent. Perhaps thinking that he would be the one to pull me back. What happened to make you say that? I don't understand. I kept silent then, not sure how to tell him what was eating me alive inside. Babe, I'm sure whatever it is, it wasn't your fault. No matter how you and Lana feel inside. In my mind, I can see Lana's eyes on mine and she gives one low mournful howl before resting her head on her paws, never letting them leave mine. Even when Alex tries to perk her up the way Kessal is me. What happened to make you say that Kals? What happened?
I'm sorry I'm the reason they're all dead. Your family I mean. Finally able to summon up the courage to speak I see a flash of pain cross both his and his wolf's eyes but strangely the two don't choose to agree with me. Neither does Braeden though I can see the same pain cross both his and Cobalt's eyes where he and Midnight had come closer since the four of us were connected. I'm sorry that knowing me and Dana is the reason they're all dead, I say, seeing how my cousin's normally carefree eyes shadow over with the guilt I feel tearing into me like wolves in the hunt. I'm sorry we're the reason they're all dead. That knowing me caused my aunt to kill them. You don't deserve this. Neither of you does. And I can't tell you how sorry I am that it happened. So, so sorry.
But you didn't do it. Kessal's voice seems to be stronger than before, even with that shadow of pain lacing his words like a spider's web given how delicate it is. I try to protest but he silences me with a low sigh that has me shutting up instantly to hear what he has to say. Dana too since she's locked eyes with Braeden who seems to be doing the same job for her that Kessal is for me. I know you think it's your fault - that both you and Dana do - but you didn't cause it and you couldn't have known. From your memories at the time we were attacked you didn't even know she existed. And even if you did you wouldn't have known she would do that.
But even so now she has and you two are trapped on the board the way we are. All because we're Linked together in a double way I can't understand but that has trapped you in this game. Just as all our other friends being linked to one another and their - our - parents did. And that's why I'm sorry. Because of me, you'll never know what a normal life would have been like and no one deserves that Kess. no one deserves to have that choice taken from them. I'm sorry it was from you. From you, Brae, Willow, Autumn and Chlo. So, so sorry.
Sadness swamps me then and I try to breathe around it but the more I try to ignore it, to push it down, the more it seems to rise until I can't breathe. Can't think. It's as if the world's tunnelling down on me and I can't see past it. My guilt. My anger. But most of all my shame at how I've trapped him. More than if I'd let him go the moment we met and let him live half there but safe. Safe from Amber's and the other's manipulations that seem to have trapped all my friends and family. But Kessal tries again to console me, using words that warm me but don't fully banish the chill inside.
I know you think that babe but you didn't do this. Neither did Dana and nor did any of our friends. We're just trapped in a game bigger than anyone else realised since it spans beyond us to other people who came before us. You didn't start this and weren't the first people to be pulled in. That's just how fate works, we have no control over that. But don't you and Lana blame yourselves. I don't and neither does Alex, it just hurts us to see you and Lana in so much pain. Especially for something that was and still is out of your control. Don't blame yourself Kals, it wasn't your fault.
How can you say that? I ask with a heartbroken tone, Lana's mournful howling echoing inside my head where Alex tried to give her a consoling lick but my wolf was as inconsolable as me. How can you say that after what happened to you, Kess? How can you and Alex not blame me and Lana for this? After all, it is our fault. I feel so lost, so alone that I almost don't hear his next words until he repeats them and I feel something inside me snap and change.
I can say that because I love you. His words are simple but I know that what he says means more than the three words because of the implications. Because in this dark and dangerous world saying those three words to the wrong person, or at the wrong time, can get you killed. But I also can't deny how much him saying that to me makes me feel better. As if I'd found someone willing to stand by me no matter what. I can say that because I know it's not your fault, I don't blame you and because I love you Kals, no matter what. Tipping up my head I see a small, wry, smile on his face but it's not enough. Not enough to hide the pain I can see in his eyes.
I love you too, I respond, trying to figure out how to aptly show him how much his words mean to me. How much his and Alex's support helped me and Lana by providing us with a rock to lean on when making a tough decision. I love you to Kess, more than I'll ever be able to use words to tell you. But that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty for what happened before we met. No matter how I feel. And I'm still sorry. Always.
But that doesn't matter. Not to me nor Alex. we just want you and Lana to be happy. And I don't blame you, you couldn't have known Kalli. No matter what you think. Kessal keeps trying to convince me, not realising that in our change in ownership - from ourselves to each other - he'd also managed to change my opinion enough that I could see his logic. A change in both ownership and opinion happened just because of his love and compassionate nature. That and because I can see that he's using that to see the difference between what I could and couldn't control, even when I couldn't. Please say you believe me Kals, I can't stand to see you this miserable.
He holds me gently then, loosening his previously tight grip on my arms and shoulders where he'd been trying to restrain me from attacking my aunt and the people standing with her. Sighing I can still feel an echo of that guilt inside me but it's dulled enough that I can nod once and tuck my head back under his, feeling how he holds me closer as I do so. Thank you, I think to him, seeing how he smiles once fully before a concerned look takes its place. Thank you for what you've done, even if I still feel sorry for what you and Alex had to go through to get here. Lana and I both are.
That's ok, it was hard but Alex and I have you and Lana now. We're ok. Again Kesal sounds so much like he wants to believe what he says but that glimmer of pain in his gorgeous amber eyes betrays to me just how deep the memories cut. How much they still hurt. Hey, don't do that, don't think too hard like that. It's not worth the pain it brings, just let the pain go and pass through. It's healthier and easier than finding reasons to hold on to it. To hold onto it and keep it there. For someone who's only seventeen Kessal's tone sounds older somehow. Like he's seen the horrors of the world and lost some sort of childlike innocence we all carry until a certain age dulls it or an event destroys it. Something that saddens both me and Lana immensely to know that despite how strong he looks our mate is still in pain from what happened. Don't think too long about the past Kals, it's happened and should stay that way. In the past.
Ok, I try to sound convinced but before I can say anything else Dana's eyes narrow in hatred and I see a checkerboarding effect of moonstone blue and her normal midnight blue eyes shine until I can feel it. I can feel the moonstone power inside her rising and it has me feeling on edge since I can see Midnight's struggling the same way she is. Get Braeden to help her the way he helped you control me and the moonstone power the other day. I warn Kessal but he's already on it given the intense look he shares with his best friend over my head.
For a while, it seems to work before my aunt makes a sweeping motion to those of us still gathered and indicates a previously closed door that now swings wide open as she used her magic to do so. Rooted to the spot the nineteen of us against her and her merry band of fucked up psychopaths share looks to try and establish if we should trust her. Until a voice speaks out.
"Come now, if we wanted any of you dead you'd be dead by now." The voice belongs to none other than the infamous Kali Starr and her tone is dangerously soft. Malice edged with a falsely deceptive sweetness that has me feeling fear shoot through me again. Her eyes seem to linger on the four of us who stand together, Dana's fight dimmed in the face of one of the legendary Starr Triad being in front of her. Because for all the warnings, and whispered words around the palace growing up, for all the times I'd heard about Kali and her sisters I'd never seen them. Never felt the cold washes of power they seemed to exude as easily as breathing that made me and Lana cower away from them in the hopes that we'd be protected from them - her - as long as we didn't get too close. Because she was like the bewitching sirel we learned about in class. Deadly to see but safe at a large enough distance.
"Well don't just stand there, this room won't be vacant forever." My aunt says and I see Dana's eyes narrow in hatred as she clocks the person who spoke. I see her struggle for control for a second, though luckily not with the same moonstone power inside us as before. No, this time she seems to be struggling to control Midnight who appears to be trying to forcefully claw her way out of my cousin given how her eyes dim and brighten. Dim and brighten in a loop that has her holding onto control but barely. "We have much to discuss and so little time to say it."
So say it. That's what we all want to say to her but no one dares to speak, fearful that once we did we'd end up jeopardising the balance and control present in our little group. Being linked as we were through friendship and partnerships we can all feel when people in our group are about to lose it. Though Zanna's now the one I'm worried about since she keeps glaring daggers at my aunt before pain flashes across her face and she seems to have to stop herself from collapsing as grief tears through her, her eyes shadowed over with old pain that has her pinned underneath it for a second before she recovers and that black anger from before rises in its place.
Zan? What's wrong? Using my link to her I can see I've garnered her attention but it's not enough to keep her here with us in the here and now, her anger running too hot for her to hear reason. Just like mine does when I lose control. Zan? You need to calm down. Getting angry won't help, if anything it'll just make whatever's happening worse. I try in vain to reach her for a few seconds but she's impervious to my words. As well as anyone else who tries to reach her, the murderous look in her green eyes is akin to that of a vengeful deity summoned to enact the wrath of hell. Zan?
She speaks then, but it's aloud and not to me. "Why Amberle?" She asks the black anger from her tone still there but tinged with a sadness that tears at me to see. In her mind, I notice the form of her younger sister bound and chained in a small iron cage that's barely large enough to hold her. "Why would you use children in your games beyond those of us who are trapped in it by rules we barely understand and that you don't seem to follow? Why involve the children you abduct, torture and then murder? Like you tried to do with my sister." Her voice is flat and some would say even emotionless but sadly I know her better. Meaning I know her well enough to know that underneath that calmness and detachment lies a world of pain that she's not willing to share. That she hides the way I've seen in my parent's minds my mom can do since she had a bad upbringing before she met my uncle and dad. "Why would you do that to children Amberle? They don't deserve to be trapped in this game."
"And you think anyone does?" I mutter angrily, Kessal's hand in my hair and around my shoulders keeping me balanced enough that I don't lash out the way I would have done without him here to ground me. Amber looks at me then and I see a sick sense of malice in her eyes. A detachment from the world that makes me wonder if she's entirely sane. "And you think anyone deserves to be trapped in this game Amberle? Whether like us we're born from those already playing or if they're people who you drag in like Zanna's sister?" Surprisingly my anger is non-existent in my tone, even with it racing through me like a live electric current. "How is it fair that anyone has to suffer like this? How can you sanely rationalise that?"
"By not doing that," Kessal's tone is so low that even being stood in his arms with his head rested on mine I almost miss his words since he spoke them so softly I wonder if he even meant to say them aloud at all. Frowning up at him I can see that old pain in his eyes again, eyes that seem to be trapped in a world of pain I can glance into but not see. Not properly. Nudging him once he sees that I'd heard him and he sighs. "Maybe they aren't rationalising it Kals, maybe they're all mad."
His words strike a chord with me but only because of something I remember seeing in both my mom and dad's heads about Heidi in their memories. A time they spoke about her and my mom - or possibly dad - mentioned that they thought her sane even after enduring what my mom did before he saved her but on closer reflection maybe she didn't. She had the same terrible start as you by being sold to an abusive Master, and he kept her for two years until I'm afraid he drove her slightly mad. Almost as if she lost her sanity and retained a grip on something similar but undeniably different. Looking again at the blonde I can see what my dad meant by that and it has me shivering again when I register the truth in the words.
Switching to look at Angel I remember when I unintentionally managed to find the memories of her in my uncle's mind when I was younger and feel a deep sense of sadness that she also, like Heidi, used to be someone else. That she used to be kind and compassionate - kind of like my mom in personality traits - but that when she was cornered by one of mine and Dana's grandparents and trapped with Heidi - and maybe Amber too since the three seem so close - she was Turned and that seemed to cause a negative reaction. Causing her to shut it off. To shut out emotion and live as close to being Level D as possible. Though for what reason I can't fathom, all too wary of keeping my distance from her since she was like a piece of ice or ivy. Hell to resist and enchanting but with an element of coldness in her that I haven't seen in another soul.
"Come, come, we have a lot to discuss and so little time to do so," My aunt replies, repeating what she'd said before as a wave of dark magic seems to encircle our group. Specifically, me, Dana, Kessal and Braeden since the four of us seem even more strained than the others. Shivering from its icy hold I rely on Kessal's arms around me to keep me upright as the magic seems to shepherd us into the room my aunt's now sat in, a strangely chilling beatific smile on her face that spells nothing but trouble. Trouble and pain. Torment and agony.
"What do we do?" I look up to him as if for reassurance to see that he's gone pale under the strain of the magic. Like it's hurting him inside. Feeling tentatively along the link between us I recoil in horror when I see just why he's reacting like that, seeing Lana howl and try to comfort Alex who seems similarly afflicted by whatever it was. Though those realisations seem to act as a trigger for both me and Lana since not two seconds after I've found it in Kessal it spreads through me until I feel dizzy and sway unsteadily on my feet. Something that if I'd been drinking could have been the cause but I'd not had one drop of alcohol - spiked or otherwise - so knew, logically, that the only cause for my sudden unbalancing would be the dark magic that Amber's still using to guide us into the room where she promptly shuts the door and regards us with cold looks that seem a world away from the sweetness that had been there before.
Same with the others she'd been gathered with. Whereas before they'd seemed to be trying to be somewhat charming the second the door slammed shut, locking us in that room, the absence of music appears to make the silence seem louder. As if the absence of the music, bar the thumping of the bass through the floor and walls, the silence became a presence. Like the Shadows, I've not only seen in Kessals' mind and memories but also in my parents, aunt, uncle and their friends. Those bound into this game long before any of our generation came into it.
"Now the real fun can begin. Are they ready?" A dark-eyed individual says and I see Angel, Heidi and the others nod once before I realise that in our haste that only me, Kessal, Braeden and Dana had been trapped here. "And the angel? Is she secure and ready?" That same dark-haired individual seems to flit into view, followed by the witch with silver eyes and dark hair that I've heard people call Laurel. Meaning the girls he's with must be Morgan. The same girl who tried to kill my mom with a dark hex that, supposedly, also killed me and Dana when we were eight- linked to the matching scars that me and Dana bear on our left back, shoulder and chest area over the left side. "If they're ready and the angel is as well then it's time for the fun to begin."
And then the world went black and the pain started. And I don't know if it ever stopped.