One shot #6
Bailey was worried about Tommy, he'd been acting strange since that morning when she'd left to take TJ to school on her way to work. All through her shift she'd been worrying and wondering what could be wrong. Maybe he was getting stir crazy at home with the baby all day? He only had another week before his paternity leave was up and Charlie would be big enough to go to day care – a thought that terrified Bailey but she knew was inevitable – maybe he was itching to get back to work, that would make sense. She'd felt the same way when she'd been on maternity leave. Not that she didn't love staying home and spending time with her children, she'd love to be a stay at home mom, but it was the apocalypse and if their home was going to continue to thrive everyone had to do their part and pull their weight.
She sighed and turned her attention back to filling the supply order in her hands. She grabbed the last of the listed food and clothes and returned to the table where her resident was waiting. She smiled and passed him his things and he thanked her and left. One of the other workers took the last person in line and in her reprieve Annie came over and rested her hand on Bailey's shoulder.
"Everything okay?" she asked.
"Yeah." Bailey replied giving another deep breath, "I think 10K is just having an off day, I just can't put my finger on why."
Annie nodded in understanding, "Everyone gets that way now and then. I wouldn't worry too much, he's a big boy he can take care of himself."
Bailey nodded and gave Annie a small smile as they got back to work. Sure Tommy was a grown person and could take care of himself, but that didn't mean he had to and that didn't mean she stopped wanting to help him.
«»
When she got out of work later she returned home where TJ was already doing his homework at the kitchen table and Charlie was napping in her playpen. Tommy was sitting at the table with TJ helping him when he got stuck. He looked fine to her and for a moment she thought maybe whatever had been bugging him he'd forgotten about throughout the day. She knew TJ could talk your ear off – he clearly hadn't taken after his shy father there – so maybe their son had inadvertently helped his Papa.
"Hey." Bailey greeted and both her boys looked up from the table at her.
"Hey, how was work?" Tommy asked.
"Fine. How were things here?"
"I got a gold star at school today!" TJ said excitedly as he dove into his story which made both his parents smile, though she had an idea Tommy had already heard it once today.
When TJ was done with his story Bailey checked on Charlie who was waking up. Bailey checked her for a dirty diaper and unfortunately she needed a new one. As she walked her back to her room and began to change her she called through the open door. "What did you have in mind for dinner?"
Tommy walked over and leaned on the door frame, "Whatever. I'm good for anything."
She turned to him and from over her shoulder she saw him looking at the ground and the expression on his face was sulky. She finished changing Charlie, picked her up and turned back to him.
"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked softly so TJ wouldn't overhear in the kitchen.
He looked up at her, though his face was still tilted to the ground making him look like a sad puppy, "Nothing."
"Tommy." She pushed.
He stood up straighter and held his head higher, "Nothing's wrong. Forget about it."
"Are you not feeling well? Or, are you getting burnt out? I can take time off from work –"
"I'm fine okay? Just drop it." He snapped and turned leaving her standing there shocked. When she composed herself she went back into the main room and found Tommy putting his Pa's park ranger jacket on by the door.
"TJ could you go wash up? You can help me make dinner." Bailey suggested. TJ loved helping her cook and he looked excited he got a break from homework too. He hopped off the kitchen stool and rushed into the bathroom closing the door behind him. Once he was gone she turned to Tommy. "Going somewhere?"
"I need some air." He said still sounding pissed off as he fixed his jacket.
"There's air in the house." She said her voice a mix of stern and sadness.
"I want a beer with my air." He snapped opening the door, "Don't wait up for me."
The door slammed shut and Bailey was left standing there not sure what had gone wrong. Charlie started to get fussy, probably from the slam, and Bailey started rocking her soothingly.
"Shhh, shhhh. It's okay. Papa's just mad. Everyone gets mad sometimes. It's okay, Papa will be back." She wasn't sure if she even believed her own words but she had two kids who she didn't want to worry. So when TJ came out of the bathroom and dried off his hands she shook away everything else that didn't involve her children, "TJ could you get me a bottle from the fridge for your sister please?"
«»
It was late and Tommy still wasn't home. She'd put both TJ and Charlie to bed ages ago and had kept herself busy by taking out her old notebook and trying to write or doodle. Every now and then she'd look up at the door hoping Tommy would walk through, that they'd talk out whatever he'd been bottling up and they'd be okay. They'd never really fought before in their marriage, there was never time, and the apocalypse was always there to remind you to remember how lucky you were. But something had gotten to Tommy to make him snap at her like that and it killed her a little on the inside that he didn't want to share it with her.
She looked around the room one more time and the pictures on the tables and on the walls seemed to mock her. Some were of Tommy when he was little, they'd gotten those from his old home back before TJ was even born. Others were drawings TJ had done, some photos CZ had taken from his footage of them. There were the ultrasound pictures of both TJ and Charlotte, the blue ribbons Tommy had won at fishing competitions as a child and finally the three polaroid's Addy had taken of the couple way back when. Finally, she'd had enough and got up from the table and headed to the door. She knocked lightly on the one across the hall until Laura opened it up. She agreed to watch TJ and Charlie while Bailey stepped out for a minute, her tee shirt and sweat pants tipping Laura off that wherever she was going was last minute, then she grabbed her coat and headed to the Tavern.
It didn't take her long to find Tommy, he was sitting at a bar height, long table that looked out the glass wall over Altura. There was no one else sitting with him, everyone else who was there that late was either at the bar itself chatting with the bartender Leroy or at a table with their date. She made her way over to him and sat at the high stool beside him not saying a word. She knew he knew she was there as he looked down at the bottle of beer in front of him and ran his finger up and down the tinted glass.
She let a moment pass in quiet before she started to gently interrogate him, keeping her tone soft. "How many of those have you had?"
He brought up his left hand and held up three fingers. It wasn't enough to get him drunk and in all the time he'd been gone he could have downed a lot more.
"I was going to drink more, something harder, but then I remembered that alcohol poisoning I got in Heartland. I really don't want to relive that again."
She nodded letting it get quiet for another few minutes as he finished off his beer, "Are you ready to come home now?"
"Who's watching the kids?" he asked in a monotone voice still not looking away from the bottle though she did see his eyebrows crinkle together in confusion and concern.
"Laura."
He licked his lip, "What did you tell her?"
"Just that I needed someone to watch the kids while I stepped out for a minute." She explained not wanting him to think she'd told Laura she had to get her husband from a bar late at night. "You're my husband Tommy I'm not going to smear your name to everyone I talk to. Our business is our business."
"Thank you." He said softly now seeming like he was embarrassed. She brought her hand to his back and rubbed up and down comfortingly.
"Come on, let's go home. You'll feel better in a warm bed." She said and he got up and took the beer bottle with him, tossing it in the trashcan by the door as they passed by. It was a quiet walk home, both of them had their hands stuffed into their pockets and while Tommy seemed preoccupied with his shoes Bailey kept her eyes higher looking at the stars in the sky. It wasn't until they made it to their apartment building that Tommy's hand grabbed her elbow and stopped her from opening the door. She turned to him and slowly he took his gaze off his feet and looked at her.
"Can we just sit for a minute?" he asked. She figured Laura wouldn't mind and she nodded before they sat at a bench not far from the building. She patiently waited for him to talk and after a minute he exhaled a deep breath, "I had a dream last night. It just. . . stuck with me all day and I couldn't shake it."
She nodded understanding, "We all have bad dreams sometimes. After everything we've been through – "
"It wasn't a bad dream." He cut her off, "It was a really nice one. Which is why it sucked so much. When I woke up and knew it could never happen."
She was quiet and didn't know what to say. She brought her hand to his leg and rubbed along his thigh to his knee. After another long silence Tommy continued.
"It had Pa in it." He admitted and it immediately all clicked for Bailey. Why he'd seemed so off, why he'd snapped at her, all his odd behavior, it made sense. He was just missing his dad. "It sucked thinking about how much he'd love to be here right now, meeting TJ and Charlie, being a grandfather. . .He would have been a terrific grandfather."
She could hear him getting choked up before he stopped talking and it looked like he was trying to hold everything in and not break down.
"You know. . . " she began carefully not wanting to upset him more, "If you want to cry you can. I won't judge you." She wove her hand with his before resting her other one over both of them, "I know how when guys want to cry people always tell them to man up, like you aren't allowed to feel. But you can let it out with me. I don't want you to have to keep all that bottled in."
He looked at the grass for a minute before he turned and rested his head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and she felt him start to cry. He didn't sob, or make those loud ragged breaths, instead he was silent. But she felt the steady stream of tears along her neck and held him closer as he let the pain out. After a good five minutes the tears let up but he kept himself close beside her.
"I miss him." He muttered, "Him and mom."
"I know." She said rubbing his back again, "I miss mine too."
He sniffled and pulled back, the cold air of the night around them helped his face not get too red and puffy but she could still see the pink in the whites of his eyes. "I've never seen you break down about your family. . . how do you. . . how does it not bother you like this?"
She sat back against the bench and brought her knees up to her chest and rested her arms on them before she took a deep breath, "It does get to me sometimes, but I just try to remember they're in a better place. That they're not in pain. And they're not missing out on the things I'm living through because they're watching over me."
"I wish I had a faith like yours. It seems like it helps."
"It does." She replied then chuckled, "But just because I came from a religious family doesn't mean I automatically was going to turn out religious, I had to find my own way."
"How do you do that when zombies are eating people around you?" he asked looking utterly confused, "How do you keep believing in a world like that? Didn't you feel abandoned?"
She shook her head very slowly, "God doesn't make the bad things happen, the devil does. Earth is just their battlefield."
"That seems too insightful, even for you." He said and she chuckled.
"I know, I sound like a preaching grandmother." She replied and they both laughed, "And I used to not be so insightful. As a teenager I was like everybody else, I turned my back on it. When my parents made me go to church I felt it was just boring, being in a building surrounded by old people who were trying to cling to a tradition that was dying out. Like the world was progressing past that old belief system."
"What made you go back to it?"
"There was a death in my family. . . and it was a shock. . . too young. . . we were all distraught and I remember thinking about people who didn't believe – in anything. The people who think after this world there's nothing." She shrugged, "It made me grateful that my family believed in a God that promised we'd all be together again someday. In a place that's beautiful." She shrugged again, "I don't know why there are people who don't want to believe in something like that. Who'd rather think that their loved one is just getting eaten by worms in the dirt, or is just a pile of ash. It makes the pain of loss so much greater. And I guess. . . that's what kept me going through the apocalypse. Like the battlefield just got more hellish and that if I kept going that maybe I'd live to see God turn it around for the better."
She looked around Altura, seeing the stars twinkle above it, seeing how some of the windows had light coming through them as people worked through the night, seeing how that light gleamed off the dewy grass in the peace and quiet. No one was screaming about zombies attacking and they had a strong wall that would keep all that out. She could sleep peacefully in Tommy's arms in a warm bed and know their children were sleeping just as soundly not having to fear anything.
"After I lost my family, things were hard, but because of that Addy, Mack and I found Camp Blue Sky and losing that led us to the mission, and that led me to you. And you gave me TJ and Charlie and I can't imagine life without them, or without you." She said turning back to him and seeing him smile. His eyes weren't so pink from crying anymore and he looked genuinely better. "I believe you were my reward for never giving up my faith."
Then he squeezed her hand, "I'm not a reward, I'm not good enough to be."
"Yes you are."
He blushed, "I'm sorry I snapped at you before, you didn't deserve that. I was just angry, at the world for taking Pa from me. I shouldn't have taken that out on you."
"It's okay." She said, "We all have our ups and downs. Just. . . share that with me next time. I just wanted to help you."
"I know." He said looking embarrassed again, "But like you said, guys aren't taught to share their emotions, we have to man up."
"I hate that expression." She said crinkling her nose in disgust. "I mean, I don't think people should just whine about all the sad things in their life either, it's not all one or the other. People should be tough. Sometimes you just have to push your feelings aside and get your job done. There's a time and place for letting your emotions out, after you get through the day, after you get your work done then you can vent." She gave a chuckle, "Otherwise you end up a crybaby like Murphy."
Tommy chuckled too, "Remember when we first met him and all he'd do when he'd see a zombie is shout 'Kill it! Kill it!'?"
She laughed too, "I'm pretty sure I saw him react that way to a spider not too long ago."
They both laughed and let themselves cheer each other up with better memories before they decided to go back inside, thank Laura for watching the kids, and go to bed.
One shot #7
10K POV
Spring had fully set in, which meant warmer weather, lighter coats and most importantly more supply runs. Altura already had set up a schedule for two trucks, one to go east and one to go west to help transport supplies faster between outposts. 10K had signed up for the trip along with several other guards and citizens. He was just waiting for Dave to get everything in order and pass out everyone's truck assignment.
At the end of his shift that day he'd been radioed to go to the infirmary and see Red. He assumed it was about supplies she needed, it wouldn't be the first time. In the past he'd always been the one she'd go to if she needed something and knew he'd be leaving with a crew, and he didn't mind, Red had been good to him and Bailey and their family. And she was an amazing doctor, if she needed something to keep that infirmary up and running he'd do it for her.
When he got to her lab he knocked on the doorframe and poked his head in. Red was standing at a long counter with paperwork surrounding her. The cabinet behind her was open and rows of pill bottles and cough syrups and other medical supplies they'd collected were all arranged neatly there. She looked up when she heard him knock and she looked glad that his arrival meant she got a break from whatever she was doing.
"Hey." She said smiling at him as he smiled back and entered the lab, "Thanks for coming."
"No problem. I was just heading to meet Doc after my shift anyway." He explained. Doc had been busy these past few years, after helping establish the Ranger's outpost with Rita's people he'd then stayed to provide psychiatry care for the citizens there that needed it. With him there to take care of the small medical issues it had allowed Dr. Hastings to go around to several of the outposts to teach others about medicine. It also allowed him to see Kuruk more often which he always enjoyed. Right now he'd been spending a month in Altura and he and 10K had been meeting at the Tavern to have a drink and catch up a few nights a week since he'd arrived. It was the quality father/son like bonding time that 10K was really grateful for.
"What's up?" he asked Red as she looked back down at her papers.
"I've been working on some of this medical training stuff since Hastings last visit." She began, "But there's a lot that I have questions about. I was hoping to get some one on one training time with her."
"Okay." He replied not really sure why she needed to fill him in on this.
"And I figured since Doc was here he might be able to fill in for me so I can go to the Ranger's outpost myself."
"By yourself?" he asked, "That's a long trip to make on your own."
"I know. Which is where the favor comes in." she asked now becoming a bit hesitant, "I know George would give me a vehicle if I asked for it, but. . . would you come with me?"
His eyebrows raised on his forehead, "To the Rangers? For how long?"
Red shrugged, "Maybe a week or two. No more than that. I don't want to leave Doc here too long. I'd be eager to get back. It's just, I feel like there's still so much I can learn from Hastings, stuff I want to be able to know on hand if something came up instead of just providing life support until she was able to rush down here."
He nodded as he thought about it. It made sense, and it fit Red's personality – if she could learn to do something on her own then that's what she'd do, rather than constantly have to rely on someone else. He must have been quiet for longer then he thought because then Red continued.
"I just figured since you were going to go on one of the supply truck convoys that it wouldn't be inconvenient for you. Just instead of going with one of the crews it'd be you and me."
She had a point, he was planning to leave anyway and Bailey already knew of that plan. They'd talked it out and she was supportive of him going. He'd been the hesitant one, after being gone back when she was pregnant with Charlie, he wasn't sure if he wanted to risk something like that again. But Bailey said he was staying in Newmerican territory this time, and she wasn't pregnant so there was really no reason not to go if that's what he wanted to do. Honestly, it'd been a while since he'd been out there sniping zombies and adding to his count. He wanted a piece of that back, so when she'd talked him out of his doubts he found he was actually happy with the outcome.
"Okay." He told Red and she perked up and smiled ear to ear. "Same departure time as the convoy?"
She nodded, "Yeah, that'd be great. I'll go talk to George about getting a vehicle." She said as they both headed out the door, "Thanks Tommy."
He shrugged, "Yeah, no problem."
Then Red took off to George's office and he left to go meet Doc. Part of him wondered if he should have cleared this idea with Bailey first, but then again, they'd already talked about it and she'd been fine with it then, why wouldn't she be now?
«»
"Oh Bailey is not going to like hearing that." Doc said as he put down his drink, a bright red concoction in a beaker that the Tavern listed as a 'zombie shiner'.
"What? Why not?" he asked shocked, his eyes bulging a bit in surprise at Doc's statement.
"Kid. . . " he trailed off shaking his head and running a hand through his beard before he leaned across the table like he wanted to be sure he got his point across. "You are going on a two week long trip, with your ex-girlfriend. Just the two of you. Alone."
He shook his head and leaned back in his chair his fingers trailing up and down the side of his beer bottle. "Bailey's not the jealous type."
"I dunno Kid, under the right circumstances any wife can get a touch of that green eyed monster." Doc said leaning back too and sipping his drink.
He thought about that for a second, but in his mind it just didn't add up the way Doc was telling him it would. He took another sip of his beer, tilting his head back and taking a large swig before bringing the bottle back down to the table and swallowing.
"Look Kid, I hope it all works out for ya, I really do. And Bailey's a great girl, she's level headed, she takes into consideration other people's perspectives before arguing with them, she's a strong fighter and a tough mama bear, but she's still a person with feelings and I'm tellin' ya she's not gonna feel too thrilled about this."
He shook his head again as he scowled at the table, "I just can't see that happening Doc."
"Alright well think of it this way. What if Bailey was going to be alone for two weeks with her ex-boyfriend?"
"Bailey doesn't have an ex-boyfriend. She never dated Pre-Z and after she fled Spokane she was alone until Zona chucked her back to the mainland." He replied all his words coming out in a bit of a rush and when he looked up he saw Doc had one eyebrow lifted like he'd got 10K backed into a corner and was about to set his final trap.
"Well what if she did? How would you feel about her being alone with an old flame? Some guy who'd held her hand? Kissed her? Went to bed with her –"
"Stop, stop." He snapped holding his hand up like in surrender as he cringed and looked angrily back at the table again, "Okay, yes it would bother me." He admitted now trying to get the image of Bailey in bed with another man out of his head.
"All I'm saying Kid is make sure you play this thing smart. Otherwise you might come back and find she changed the locks on you." Doc said taking another sip of his zombie shiner "Just remember, I've been married a lot more times then you have. I know about these things."
10K took his last sip of his beer before he thanked Doc for the advice and headed home. Doc wished him good luck before he pulled some Z-weed from his pocket, finished his drink too and headed outside. 10K stuffed his hand and his antler into his pockets as he walked home letting everything Doc had said run through his mind once again. Bailey wouldn't act like that, she trusted him, he knew she did. Back when they first got together and were traveling across the country she'd told him that, several times. She'd go on about how he had a good heart and always did the right thing, his Pa had said the same thing when he'd been telling his son his goodbyes. Bailey knew he did the right thing, so he knew she wouldn't react the way Doc thought she would.
When he got home he found Bailey playing with Charlie on the floor, she was leaning on one elbow as she patted the floor in front of her trying to get Charlotte to crawl. TJ was kneeling behind her cheering his baby sister on but when Tommy walked in his little peanut looked his way then reached her little hand out making grabbing motions at him which made him instantly smile.
"Hey." Bailey said cheerfully when she saw him walk in and he smiled at her as TJ ran and gave him a hug before joining his baby sister and picking up one of her toys and hoping holding it in front of her would get her to move. Bailey got up and joined him as he took off his jacket then his shirt as he started unlatching the straps of his prosthetic and she started helping him to make it quicker. Once it was off he put his shirt back on and tucked his antler away in its drawer before pulling out his navy blue bandana and wrapping it around his stump and tying it with his teeth.
He knew Bailey and the kids would have already eaten dinner and he had gotten something when he'd been in the Tavern with Doc. It was still a few hours before they had to give the kids their baths and get them ready for bed which meant he had time to just relax with his family. This was the time of his day he loved the most, when they were all together and had nothing left to do so they'd stay inside just the four of them. He sat on the floor beside Charlie who made little sad cooing noises until he picked her up and put her in his lap. She immediately snuggled into him and he took a stuffed blue elephant – that was almost as big as she was - from the floor and held it in front of her. She grabbed it and started playing with it as he held her and Bailey sat by TJ snapping his legos together as he built a tower beside her. They stayed like that for a good hour, maybe two before they started bath time and put the kids to bed after. He was rocking Charlie in the rocking chair in her room as Bailey was reading TJ to sleep. 10K would still read with him every other night when Bailey would put Charlie to bed, that way both their children got equal time with their parents. He looked down at his daughter who had her eyes closed and smelt like that sweet shampoo they'd washed her in, she looked so comfortable in her little pale yellow fuzzy feetie pajamas as she curled into him knowing in his arms she was safe. There was a soft knock on the door as he rocked the baby and he looked up to see Bailey standing there in a pair of his pajama pants and one of her cutoff shirts. He loved the small smile on her face and he returned it with one of his own.
"TJ's sound asleep." She whispered.
He nodded down to Charlie in his arms, "How does she look?"
Bailey walked further into the room keeping her steps quiet as she looked at Charlie, "Stop rocking for a minute." She whispered and he did. When Charlie didn't squirm they both knew she was out like a light too. He got up and carefully put her in her crib doing his best not to jostle her too much and wake her. When she was settled he and Bailey left the room and quietly shut the door behind them. He took a deep breath as Bailey walked into the kitchen and made herself some hot chocolate and he knew he very well might ruin their calm peaceful night.
"So how was work today?" he asked starting with an easy ice breaker to fill the quiet.
"Calm." She replied and he saw her cheek lift as she smiled to herself, "It went by quick too which was nice. When I went to pick up TJ from pre-school and Charlie from day care it felt like I'd only just dropped them off."
He smiled but it was half hearted, "Red asked me to meet her in the infirmary after my shift today."
"Oh? Was she giving you a list for the convoy trip in two days?" she asked stirring her drink and not looking over to him where he sat at the island behind her. He tried to detect something in her voice, like resentment or anything that would indicate anger or jealously at Red but it was her normal tone. Maybe he was right and Doc was wrong, after all Bailey and Red had traveled through the apocalypse together, their relationship wasn't one built on fighting over a guy.
"Not really." He admitted and that's when she turned to him confused, "Red wants to go see Dr. Hastings to get more medical training. She figured now was a good time since Doc could fill in for her at the infirmary."
"Well that makes sense." Bailey said leaning on the island, her hot chocolate forgotten on the counter behind her. "Red's an ambitious person. And she doesn't like to have to rely on people too much. She'd rather be self sufficient." She shrugged.
"Exactly." He said hoping the rest of the conversation would go this smoothly, "And she just, wanted to ask me if I'd go with her on the trip."
Then it was silent as Bailey stared at him, finally she asked, "And?"
"And. . . nothing. That was it." He said carefully.
"Ok." She replied turning around and getting back to her drink as she stirred more chocolate powder in, "So she'll be going with your convoy. Did Dave assign you to a truck yet? Make sure there was the extra space for her?"
He hesitated to correct her but knew it was the right thing to do, "Actually, Red and I aren't going to be part of the convoy. We're taking another vehicle north to the Rangers outpost."
She stopped stirring and he swallowed nervously, "It's just you two?"
"Yeah. . . That's okay right?"
She was really quiet again only now he couldn't see her face to tell if she was alright or if she was pissed.
"You want my honest opinion?" she asked and he was thrown off by the question.
"Bailey I always want you to be honest with me." He said truthfully and she turned and leaned back against the counter looking at her feet.
She looked like she was hesitant to tell him what was on her mind, maybe she was dreading a possible fight like he was, "Tommy I – I'm not okay with that." She said looking up at him.
"Why not?" he asked calmly though now just as confused as when he'd been talking to Doc earlier.
Bailey shrugged, "It just. . . makes my gut churn. You. . . and her. . . all alone."
"Bailey it's not like we're going on a romantic candle lit dinner." He reminded her with a chuckle at the very idea.
"I know." She said crossing her arms, that same expression like she was tip toing around her words still on her face. "But. . . I'm still not comfortable with you going. Talk to Red tomorrow, tell her no." she shrugged and a pleading look crossed her features.
"I can't do that."
"Why not?" she asked and he now saw some anger peeking through.
"I already said yes. I made a commitment. It's like a promise. I can't go back on my word."
"Are you serious right now?" she asked dropping her arms.
"What is the big deal?" he asked in a sharper tone then he intended but his confusion was getting the best of him. He just wanted an answer that made sense.
"I can't just be uncomfortable with you going off alone with your ex? You can't just respect how I feel?"
"I do respect that I just want to know why." He demanded and Bailey crossed her arms again and looked at her feet. As he thought about the reasons she might be feeling this way one came to mind that made his heart drop into the pit of his stomach and made his gut churn like he was nauseous. "Bailey. . ." he asked softer now, "Do you think I'm going to cheat on you?"
She turned her head away more and kept looking at the ground and that was all the confirmation he needed. He made his way around the island and walked right up to her using his hand to cup her face and make her look at him, "Bailey I would never do that to you. Ever. You know you're the only girl in my life. Well. . . other than Charlie."
She pulled her chin from his grip and moved away from him running a hand through her hair and the small smile he had from his joke dropped as he watched her turn to him. "I know you wouldn't. But Tommy, you and Red were close once. You were very close. I don't want you going on a trip alone with her."
"What do you think is going to happen? That Red is going to make a move on me? Like she's going to try and steal me from you? Bailey you know Red, you even traveled with her. You know she wouldn't do that." He said still trying to keep his voice calm, though now the plain ridiculousness of their conversation was starting to get to him.
"I know it's irrational but that shouldn't matter. I'm your wife, why can't you just tell her you changed your mind? For me?"
"Because you are my wife." He replied, "You're the one I married, you're the one I had children with-"
"You could have had children with Red but she didn't want any." Bailey muttered under her breath as she looked at the floor and he paused. It was a big what if, what if Red hadn't said no to having kids? What if he and Red had already begun a family of their own before he found out Bailey was still alive?
"Is that what you're afraid of? That Red might regret missing her chance with me? That she might wish she was in your shoes?"
Bailey shrugged again and crossed her arms bringing her gaze to meet his, "What if she still has feelings for you? What if while you're on this trip you realize you still have feelings for her? You said it yourself when you first came here, you didn't change who you loved your heart only made room. What if the part that Red had once is still there?"
"Bailey that was four years and two kids ago." He reminded her, "Things are different now."
Bailey looked around the room until she finally looked back at him, "Why can't you just tell her no?"
"Because I don't want to."
"Why not?"
"Because just because you're my wife doesn't mean you can make my decisions for me!" he snapped and it brought the anger back on her face. "Especially based on something like 'you just don't like it' if you gave me a real reason –"
"My feelings aren't enough of a reason?"
"No."
It got quiet again and this time she turned and stormed out going to their bedroom. He tried to follow her but once he got to the door his pillow was thrown at his face and by the time it fell into his arms she'd slammed the bedroom door shut. He sighed and threw his pillow onto the couch, kicking off his Velcro boots and laying down. He took another deep breath as he stared at the ceiling then muttered to himself, "It's not the worst place I've slept, I slept in a gutter, I slept in a morgue, a couch is nothing."
But even as he said it he couldn't shake the longing he felt as he realized he missed holding her as he fell asleep.
«»
The next morning he woke up earlier then Bailey and the kids. After getting very little sleep – from the combination of thinking up ways he could fix everything and just missing Bailey's warmth beside him – he started thinking maybe he should just tell Red he changed his mind. He knew she'd be disappointed but he had to choose between who he cared about more, and hands down it was Bailey. He couldn't risk their marriage over something this trivial. But then the bedroom door opened the he turned to see Bailey leaning on the door frame with her robe over her pajamas but falling off one shoulder as she looked at her feet and brushed her toes over the carpet.
"I don't want to keep fighting." She muttered, slowly looking at him as he sat up on the couch and rested his elbows on his knees.
"Me either." He mumbled in agreement.
"Why didn't Red ask any other guard?" she asked but he got the feeling it was rhetorical, though that didn't stop him from answering.
He shrugged, "Maybe she thought the trip could use my personal touch." He said thinking about his hobby of counting zombies. Then he saw Bailey's head snap up and look at him with raised eyebrows and he realized that his words could be misconstrued. "Professional touch." He amended but that didn't seem to help, "No touch! No touch, no touching!"
Bailey rolled her eyes and sighed though it seemed like she wasn't fed up at him, like it was directed at herself. What she said next only confirmed that thought.
She took another deep breath, "I, overreacted. And. . . I'm sorry. I don't have a logical reason for what I was feeling, and I shouldn't have expected you to just. . . bend to my will."
He got up and approached her slowly, "I'm going to tell Red I can't go with her."
"No, Tommy. . . I don't want to be the reason you have to break a promise. I know how much keeping them means to you."
He walked up to her and looked her in the eye as he leaned on the wall beside her, "You mean more to me than any promise. You're my world." He saw her eyes widen in surprise and her lip trembled a bit she looked so touched. "And. . . I did a lot of thinking too. I don't want to go if it means leaving you here feeling the way you do."
She took another deep breath before pushing off the door frame and taking a step forward. She wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head on his chest. He held her, he locked his arms so tight around her he wanted so badly to never let her go. He buried his face in her hair and kissed her temple.
"Look, the kids don't have school today and I'm off work, your shift isn't until this afternoon. How about I go talk to Red and after we can all go to the dining hall for breakfast." He suggested, "It'll be a treat."
She pulled back and looked up at him. He saw a small smile on her face before she nodded. He smiled back, leaned in, and kissed her. He meant for it only to be a small peck but she wove her hand into his messy hair and held him there for a longer moment which he didn't mind one bit.
«»
Because it was still early the infirmary wasn't too busy. Now that cold and flu season was over most of Red's time was taken up with people who'd gotten injured during construction jobs and doing the occasional quarantine check at the gate when they got new citizens. Usually the nurse there took care of most people but she liked having Red there in case someone came in with a more serious case of illness or injury. 10K knocked on the open door of the lab like he had last time and found Red at her desk with an iPad propped up in front of her, probably something she'd gotten from CZ or Kaya to help her keep in contact with Hastings and the other outpost doctors.
"10K, hey. You're here early. Are you catching something? Or is it one of the kids?" she asked concerned knowing he wouldn't be there at the crack of dawn unless it was important.
"No, no it's nothing like that." He reassured her giving a shrug, "It's just. . . You should take someone else to the Rangers outpost with you."
"What? Why?" she asked still looking at him like she was expecting bad news like TJ was sick and he had to stay home.
He shrugged again, "Bailey isn't comfortable with just the two of us going. And, I can't go if it means she's going to feel miserable."
"Why isn't she comfortable with it?" Red asked spinning in her chair a little to fully face him.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, stuffing his hand into his pocket and his stump into the other, "Because. . . you're still in love with me."
He wasn't sure what reaction he was expecting but Red holding back laughter wasn't it.
"Who the hell is that?" a man's voice echoed from the iPad and 10K looked down at it confused as Red turned back to the screen.
"That's 10K." she told whoever she was video chatting with. Because the iPad was on a stand he couldn't see who Red was talking to. "I'll call you back later baby." She said before blowing a kiss at the screen and shutting it off. She looked back up at him resting her chin in her hand as he looked at his feet as humiliation started to sink in his stomach.
"I think I hear Warren calling me." He said trying to duck out before it could get worse but Red stopped him before he could.
"Uh- uh you're staying right here." She said through her chuckling.
So he tried plan B, "I was. . . kidding?" he said with a shrug part of him already knowing she wouldn't buy it. He took another breath as Red kept grinning, if it was anyone but her they would have already begun making jokes at his expense.
"So was that your. . . boyfriend?" he asked knowing she didn't just call anyone 'baby' she'd never even called him that when they'd been together. Whoever the guy was she must be really crazy about him.
She nodded, "Well, technically, fiancée." She replied and he felt his embarrassment get worse. "We've been talking about it but first we've got to make plans to get him moved in here first, which will take time." He kept looking at the ground as Red chuckled again, "Who put that crazy idea in your head?"
"Bailey." He muttered, "And Doc. . . a little bit."
"So Bailey was what? Romantically threatened by me?" she asked her chuckling turning back into laughter that she unsuccessfully held back.
"Bailey is. . . sleep deprived." He said before muttering under his breath, "Apparently."
"Well a toddler and a baby must take a lot out of her." Red replied still snickering though now it seemed to be calming down. "But if she's that tired maybe you should stay here and keep an eye on her."
He nodded thinking maybe he should. He couldn't wait to get home and tell her this though, usually her instincts were spot on, he wasn't about to let her live this down. "That's not a bad idea."
"Let me know if you can make it tomorrow or not." She called as she turned the iPad back on to call her fiancée back and he turned to leave. But then he pivoted on his foot and turned back to her.
"How did you guys meet anyway?" he asked.
"He came to Newmerica with Rita's crew. When Hastings was going back and forth training everyone he was part of her security detail. We got to spend a lot of time together." She answered.
He nodded, "And, uh, how big would you say he is?"
Red smirked, "He's pretty average height and build."
"Oh." He said relieved but that was short lived.
"For a marine." She finished and he felt his heart drop at the idea of a buff ex-marine coming to kick his ass. Red saw his wide eyed terrified expression and laughed again, "Don't worry, he won't beat up a cripple."
He nodded and left, as he walked down the hall he looked at his bandana covered wrist and muttered, "Thank you stump."
Then his mind jumped to Bailey and how he was going to get her back for the embarrassment he just suffered, maybe he'd start by making her sleep on the couch.