That night was long, I didn't stop crying. I still hadn't heard anything from Jug. I had asked my mom to go out and look to see if he was in the waiting room.
She walked back in looking down, trying to avoid my hopeful eyes.
B-"Is he here?"
She nodded her head left to right softly.
A-"I'm sorry honey"
B-"I wanna go home! I don't like it here! Why couldn't I have gone, why did she have to go!"
I started to cry, even if I didn't think it was possible. I still cried. My mom came over and sat in the bed next to me then laid my head on her shoulder.
B-"Why does this happen to me Mom? I miss her so much" (cries)
A-"I know you do"
She placed a kiss on my head as I cried. I have never felt this much pain, it hurt my heart, my head, it made me sick to my stomach how heartbroken I was.
After a few minutes went by I was slowly falling asleep when a doctor knocked on my door then opened it and softly walked in.
D-"Hi Ms. Cooper. I wanted to let you know that you can go home tomorrow but you have to take it easy for the next week or so"
B-"Ok t-thank you"
D-"Of course"
She started to walk out but stopped before she walked out the door.
D-"And i'm very sorry for your lost, I lost a daughter when I was a young age too"
B-"You did?"
D-"Yes, it hurt very much"
B-"H-How long did it take you to get over it"
D-"I never did really get over it, it still hurts 20 years later. But the guilt and the heartbreak will get better as time goes on"
B-"Do you have any advice, or ways you grieved?"
D-"The thing that helped me the most was being around loved ones... and seeing a therapist, would you like me to set you up with one? I can give you her card, she helps with infant and child loss"
I thought about it for a second before making my decision and nodding my head.
B-"Yes please"
She smiled then took out a business card from her coat pocket and handed it to me.
B-"Thank you"
D-"Of course"
As she walked out I laid my head on my mom's chest and snuggled up into her arms. Even though I was an adult and I have my own son I still needed my mom more then ever.
-The next morning-
J-"Mama!"
Jay yelled as I walked in the door, he ran into my arms and I winced a bit.
J-"Mama why is your belly smaller? Is sissy here!"
Tears welled in my eyes as I looked down at my son's happy face, I bent down next to him and kissed his forehead.
B-"Baby, s-sissy's not coming home"
His face dropped as his smile turned into a frown and a tear slipped from his eye.
J-"Did I do something wrong? Is that why she doesn't want to come home?"
B-"No baby, you didn't do anything wrong"
J-"Then why isn't she coming home?"
B-"Because she decided to go join the angels"
I wiped his tears and kissed his cheek. My mom then took Jay into his room to play and I broke down as soon as Jay left the room.
V-"B I'm so sorry"
B-"Did Jughead... come by or anything?"
V-"No, I'm sorry" (softly)
B-"It's fine, it's not your fault"
-A few hours later-
It was now the afternoon and I had just fed Jay, my mom and Veronica went home. But my mom said that if I wanted to come and stay at her house she would be fine with it, I turned down the offer... for now.
I was sitting on the couch, staring at nothing, it was thunder storming out and I was waiting for Jug to get home. Jay was playing in his room, my stomach was still in pain, my eyes were bright red from crying, and I couldn't even wrap my mind around what had happened in the last 24 hours.
I heard the front door open and I didn't even look to see who it was, I stared into the dark living room as the thunder struck again, lightly shaking the house.
I finally looked up to see Jughead staring at me... with lipstick on his lips