Trigger warning: abortion
2 months ago
"WHAT'S WRONG?" I questioned Giovanni.
He's been quiet these days. I don't know if I did something wrong or if he's having second thoughts about us.
We are currently at his house, it's cold outside so he suggested we start a fire and cuddle.
He pulled me closer and began to play with my hair. "Nothing," he whispered.
My back is pressed against his body while we lay on the carpet, a blanket covering our bodies. I proceeded to watch the fire slowly burn the wood.
"What happens after this?" His voice came out soft. I narrowed my eyebrows, lifting my head to find Giovanni already staring at me. "What do you mean?" I replied.
"All this," he said.
What happens after this?
I haven't had time to think about that. I don't usually think about the future. I don't know where I see myself in ten years.
Dead maybe.
Or
I stepped down and someone else took my place.
"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "What about starting your own family?" Says Giovanni when he catches my gaze.
I cleared my throat.
"I don't plan on starting my own family."
I don't think I would be suited to be a mother. When I was a teenager I decided to not have kids. I don't want to bring my child into this unpleasant world.
The fact that I am a criminal with enemies will be a risk. Being paranoid 24/7 knowing that my child isn't safe even with me breaks my heart.
"What about you?" I murmur. "I plan on starting a family." he smiles to himself, and for some inexplicable reason, I find myself blushing.
"Whoever will be the mother of your kids is lucky."
He raises his eyebrows, a cool gleam in his eyes. Giovanni and I stare at each other. It's like he's trying to read me. Pressing my forehead against his, I bit my lower lip and continued to admire him.
"You would be a great mother Gabriella," he whispered, placing his hand on my right cheek.
I leaned in, closed my eyes, and sighed. "I don't see it."
2 months later
"You're pregnant," I repeat myself.
She stood there, tears streaming down her face her eyes were bloodshot red and the tip of her nose was pink with rosy cheeks.
"I was planning on telling you," she whispered. "But after our fight you said you wanted some space and I respected your wishes."
I know she was respecting my space but finding out that she's pregnant with my child. I have every right to know weather we are in a good place or not.
I read the documents again and my blood was boiling with wrath.
"What about the abortion!? Were you planning on telling me before or after you killed our child!"
My eyes started to get glossy. I ran my fingers through my hair staring at Gabriella with bitterness.
The room is dark and silent.
"Giovanni," she whispered. Gabriella took slow steps toward me.
"Don't..."
"Stay there," I said with a stern voice.
"It's my choice," she said.
I can't fucking believe this. "Your choice!?" I laughed painfully.
"That's my baby in there. OUR BABY!"
Gabriella looked in the other direction as she roughly wiped off her tears. she scoffed.
"You knew..." she paused for a second and continued. "That I don't want to be a mother!" her voice was shaky.
"Giovanni you have no idea how hard this is for me." Gabriella slowly approached me. "By far the hardest decision I've ever made."
"Then don't do it," I said. Tears slowly caress down my face. "Don't do it," I repeated my voice coming out soft.
"I have to." she cried. "I don't want my baby to be born just to suffer years later because of us. He or she will blame their lives on us and I don't want that."
I'll make sure that won't happen. I'll protect him/her with my life.
My child will live the life she or he deserves.
Shaking my head from side to side I pinch the bridge of my nose. "I won't allow it."
"I don't care," she said. "You don't get to decide for me."
"I'M THE FATHER!"
"AND I'M THE MOTHER WHO IS CARRYING THE CHILD!"
"Gabriella-" I whispered. "Giovanni stop! It's my fucking decision, I don't want to keep the baby."
"And that is final."
My jaw locked as I clenched my fist. I closed the gap between Gabriella and me. I'm inches away from her face. "You are keeping the baby." I spat. "No."
"I won't allow you to kill our only child," I said.
"STOP!" she yelled. "You aren't listening to me!"
"Keeping the baby will ruin everything. I almost lost you and I don't it to happen again," she whispered the last part.
I'll be here. I'll never abandon my child. It will kill me knowing that I left Gabriella to raise our child alone.
"No, baby I'll be here." I smiled wrapping my arms around Gabriella. She shakes her side to side. "No. You won't." she cried pushing me away.
It broke me to see her like this. I cupped her face and forced her to look at me.
"I'll be here," I said slowly.
She laughed.
She laughed. Why is she laughing?
"You don't understand Giovanni," she said. "If I keep this baby, everything will change."
"Everything will change," I said. "Yes. I can't keep this baby."
"I don't want to lose you," she uttered.
I stood there clueless. Why does she keep saying that?
She won't lose me if she keeps this baby but she will lose me if she doesn't keep our child.
"You'll lose me if you don't keep the baby," I said calmly.
Gabriella stood there. Her face is puffy from crying.
More tears began to caress down her soaking face.
Something isn't right, "What aren't you telling me, Gabriella?" I questioned.
I began to worry. "Gabriella."
"I have to do this Giovanni." she sobs. "I have to do this."
"Gabriella..." I called out.
"I'm sorry." she cries.
"Do this and I'll never forgive you," I mumbled.
She bit her swollen lip and sighed.
Gabriella smiled weakly. "I-"
Her smile disappeared. She slowly took the documents from my hand and then wiped away her tears.
"You need to leave," she said softly and walked over to her desk.
I turned to her. "Gabriella." my voice broke. "Please...that's our child. How will you continue living knowing that you killed our child and you lost me as well."
She looked at me and didn't say a single word.
I waited for her to speak but she just stood there.
Knowing that nothing will change her mind, anger took over.
"Your dead to me."
I immediately left her office and rushed my way outside.
I need a distraction.