Hey guys, I just wanted to explain what has been going on and why I've been so offline lately along with my updates that have been postponed.
Okay, so for starters there are so many things weighing my chest that have been piling up and this is the first time I let it all out even if you guys aren't the people that this message is forwarded to, but writing has always been the way I express my emotions and you guys are the only people that have been inspiring me to follow along.
I'm a Libyan girl that has lived her childhood in Canada then had to move to her home country Libya by sixth grade. Before moving back, I was this positive optimistic girl that didn't fear to say what's on her mind not judge herself, but when I moved it was like that part of me was left behind. I changed, I felt like I was being judged like I was alone despite my family there supporting me yet it wasn't the same. I felt lost, and mostly attached to Canada assuming I'd go back one day and everything will be the same, but I never realized that it was all a dream, fake belief. That my time was passing while I held myself in, I prevented myself from making friends I trusted no one. I pushed the people away, I had friends close ones, but they noticed how attached I was and how I'll never change. They gave up on me and now is when I noticed that I let go of myself to live a dream.
I have no friends, no real ones actually. We can call them acquaintances.
I watched people choose others over me.
I witnessed my friends breaking me, my best friends betraying me taking their sides.
I just had a mental breakdown a few minutes ago actually I'm tearing up as I write this not knowing what to do or how I can fix this. I know I'm willing to change is to why I deleted all of my social media accounts each and everyone hoping I could work on myself for the coming months and to finally let go.
I'm still lost, but I'm also willing to combine both parts of me to turn me into one beautiful person inside out and let go of the toxics and pain I've been clutching on to. I deserve better, yes I have no friends, but I do have a loving family that supports me and is proud of me and you guys of course my Wattpad family. ❤️❤️
I'm sorry for sounding pathetic or whatever it is it sounds like, I just figured you guys deserve an explanation although, don't worry I'll still be updating hoping I could take my novel to another level.