Chapter Twenty - Light
- Madeline's POV -
"Oh," I responded slowly, completely clueless at to what it was. It seemed to be made up of glass and it was fairly small. I looked at Martin, who had smile playing at his lips. He must have sensed a confusion because he spoke up again.
"It's a bowl," he said simply. I tensed up awkwardly... a what? I was still utterly confused and a look of disappointment fell over his face, worrying me a bit. "You smoke weed with it Mads," he explained monotonously.
"Oh!" I raised my voice slightly, fully understanding him now. Wait, we were going to smoke? Tonight? A panic rose within me, along with a slight fear.
"You said you wanted to smoke? Right?" he raised an eyebrow at me curiously. I recited my list in my head and sure enough, smoking was on there.
"Yeah, I guess," I shrugged my shoulders, looking away from him nervously. "Well, I think I said experiment," I said, remembering correctly. I suddenly felt like I was going to puke. After all of this time, Martin was right about one thing. It is not that I could not do these things, it's because I did not want too. I was scared.
"Well," his voice interrupted my thoughts and I looked at him quickly. "Do you want to?" the amusing tone in his voice was making it hard for me to say no. Dammit.
You can't start procrastinating now, my subconscious was giving me a cheeky smirk. I hate to admit it, but that bitch was right. I need to stop acting like a ten year old and just go with my list. Besides, the only way of getting over your fears are to face them? Am I right?
"Sure," I gave him a small smile and he licked his lips, fighting his own smile. His free hand grabbed mine and he pulled me over to the bed. He sat down first, motioning me to sit in front of him. I sat down slowly, crossing my legs on one another, watching him carefully.
"Alright," he started sitting the bowl down on the bed. "I can tell you're nervous," he gave me a slight glare.
"How the hell am I supposed to not be?" I said, stating the obvious. I leaned back onto my palms, glancing back down to the object.
"Just relax, it's not scary," he said digging into his pant pocket. He pulled out a lighter, setting it beside of the bowl. He reached into his other pocket, pulling out a small plastic bag with something in it.
"What's that?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him and he gave me look that seemed to mean; are you serious? "Hey, I'm new to this stuff," I narrowed my eyes at him and he chuckled to himself.
"It's the pot, babe," he gave me a wink, sending some of my nerves out of my system. I nodded breaking my gaze with him and back down to the three objects.
"Where did you get it?" I asked quietly as if someone was listening to us. He started to shake his head.
"No one important," his lips were pursed as he concentrated on whatever he was doing with the contraption.
"It's illegal though," I said, reciting back on one of my health classes. It was a year in jail and a thousand dollar penalty. Now how could I explain that one to my parents.
"Not where I'm from," he smirked before giggling. I kept my mouth shut knowing he was right. Who's idea over there was that in the first place? Hell, I guess it does help the economy though...
"Okay," he said, looking up to me. "Listen to me carefully," he said, holding up the bowl carefully. "Put your mouth on here," he tapped one finger on the longer part of the thing. I sat up reluctantly, placing my lips on it. I did not break any eye contact with him whatsoever. For some reason, his eyes calmed me.
"Put your thumb over this little hole and hold it up," I did as he said, hoping my sweaty hands would not drop it. I saw some of the marijuana sticking out from the end of it. "Now, when I light it, I want you to inhale, more slow than fast okay?" he asked and I nodded in response. "I'll take the lighter away quickly and you're going to hold it there until you feel your chest fill up. Once it does, take it out of your mouth and exhale," he explained thoroughly.
I gave him an understanding look and abruptly, he flicked the lighter on, bringing it up to the end of the bowl, it getting dangerously close to his fingers. No turning back now, I thought to myself as I felt smoke seep into my mouth and throat. I began to inhale slowly and he took the lighter away, feeling my throat struggle for clean air. Instead of doing what I would do (a.k.a., pull away immediately), I kept my thumb and everything in place.
A few seconds later, not really sure if my chest was 'full', I pulled the thing out of my mouth, beginning to cough roughly. And I mean not just one or two coughs, a series of horse-like coughs.
"Shit, you alright Mads?" my watery eyes looked over to his concern face. Ignoring him, I reached over to a random water bottle on the nightstand beside the bed and down half of it faster than I ever have. The burning in my throat was beginning to fade away, but it was still there. If sex is like this, then I will gladly stay a virgin, thank you very much.
"Mads?" I looked back over to Martin, who's eyebrows were furrowed in a deep 'v'. My eyelids suddenly felt heavier than I remember and my muscles were seeming to relax more and more as time went by.
"Hmm?" my throat groaned out as I kept my lips together. I cannot tell if that was embarrassing for me or a normal reaction to that.
"How, do you... feel?" he asked and I could not tell if he was concern or amused, or confused, hell, I do not know anything right now. I rubbed my eyes quickly before opening my mouth.
"I feel, um," I paused not knowing what to say. Am I high? Or not? I had never heard anyone talk about what it feels like to be under the influence of drugs. My head felt lazy as I spoke again. "Light," I nodded to myself. Yeah, that's what I feel.
For an odd reason, Martin suddenly let out a loud laugh that filled the entire room up. I tried to give him a confusing look but I felt like I was unable to.
"Oh my god," he laughed again, holding his stomach. "You are so stoned," he continued laughing as the biggest grin formed on his face.
"I am?" I asked feeling skeptical myself. He nodded, chuckling again before he leaned over and placed a small kiss on my lips. As soon as I began to kiss back he pulled away and I realized something. I am high. Holy shit.
"Your eyes are red as hell," he commented, his green ones staring straight into mine. I started to chew on my bottom lip and I shifted my way to the top of the bed, my back resting on the headboard.
"This is weird," I said glancing around the room. I watched as Martin kicked off his shoes and he faced me completely. I could make out that he was very amused by this. I moaned to myself, closing my eyes.
"Just relax," I heard his voice coo and I felt his hand on my leg as he rubbed it slowly up and down. Thank God for shaving earlier. I nodded to him, my eyes still closed. I was not even able to make thoughts as my eyes were closed. I opened my eyes quickly. I cannot describe this foreign feeling. Or even if I like it or not.
As I sat here in this... daze, I felt my confidence level go up to about one hundred. I don't know if it is from the weed or my calm mentality at the moment, but it was different.
"You should consider yourself lucky," he said, smirking to me. Goosebumps rose on my legs as he continued to gently caress my right one.
"Why?" I managed to get out. I brought my fingers to my eyes as they began to water more frequently.
"Because, you got to smoke pot with someone who knew what they were doing," he licked his lips and my eyes narrowed at him. Suddenly, I began to giggle to myself, slowly then more progressively. I pushed myself up and over onto Martin's lap. I think the movement shocked him but he went with it as he gripped my waist firmly.
"Is this normal?" I asked, bunching up his shirt as I continued to laugh to myself. He shrugged his shoulders as a smile formed onto his face.
"This is kind of hot seeing you like this," his eyes flicked from my eyes to my lips, sending butterflies in my stomach to go wild. I moved my hands from his chest up to his neck and part of his hair. I leaned in our noses touching each other slightly, before I crashed my lips on his. I smiled into the kiss as he immediately kissed me back.
There was something about kissing him that made me feel a certain way. He made me feel wanted and he seemed to care, something that no guy has ever made me feel. As afraid as I was to admit it, he was beginning to leave an imprint on me, but at the moment, I did not care.
In one motion, he had moved me from his lap and laid me back on the mattress. The kiss became hungrier as I pulled on his hair, getting a deeper than normal groan from him. His tongue flicked in and out of my mouth quickly and I could not stop the gasp that came from my mouth as he pulled away. Quickly, his lips found their way down to my neck and he seemed to know exactly what he was doing.
"Martin," I quietly moaned out and I felt him smile into my neck. His hands began to roam down the sides of my body, sending me into an overdrive. Soon after, his lips made their way back up to my mouth and I placed my hands on his chest, pushing him away. He gave me a weird look and my heavy lids were able to open more.
"Are you not going to smoke?" I asked, furrowing my brows. Was that a stupid question? His mouth pressed into a hard line and I felt his body tense up. His green eyes turned cold and pushed himself off of me. "Wait, what's wrong?" I asked, getting myself up and I scrambled over beside of him.
"Fuck," he said through gritted teeth, causing me to wince. I abruptly felt more normal than five minutes ago. From that happening, I also could now distinct the smell in the room. I scrunched my nose up.
"Hey," I put my hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" he suddenly jerked away from me, confusing me even further.
"You probably should go," his voice was in a monotone and bored.
"What? No, tell me," I pushed him. Once again, I do not know if this was from the weed or not.
"Mads, I don't want to deal with this right now," he said, putting his head down, rubbing the back of his neck.
"With what?" I debated on whether I should touch him or not, but I decided on not doing so.
"Just go," his tone was more stern. I was frozen in my spot. There was just something about his sudden mood change that made me want to help him.
"I thought you said no secrets," my voice was low and tired. I saw his jaw clenching furiously and he turned to me quickly.
"Mads, just- fucking go," his voice was now well above normal and it brought a shiver down my spine. All of a sudden, I felt water form in my eyes and not from the weed, actual tears. Damn, stop it! This is not you Madeline, I nodded to myself, pushing away the tears as best as possible.
I got up from the bed and was lost at what to do. Does he really want me to leave? How long will I be high? There was one to many thoughts crossing my mind. I made my way over towards the door but stopped. I took one last glance at Martin whose face was covered by his hands. There was a coldness in the room and I didn't like it at all. I studied him one last time before walking out and shutting the door softly, leaving him there by himself.
What was that about?
*
The next morning I found myself staring at the ceiling of my dorm, the light beaming in harshly. I had been awake for what seemed to be two hours, waiting on Haley to get up. I had almost forgotten that there was a dance last night. I say almost because, well, you know why. The realization that I had smoked marijuana last night, still has not sunk in properly.
Luckily, I had made it back to the dorm before Haley and I was able to get her weed-smelling clothes in the washer and dryer. Another thing about last night that was bizarre, was Martin's sudden outburst in behavior. I just asked him a simple question and he tensed up like that.
"Mmh," I jumped at the noise that emitted from Haley. I looked to find her, her eyelids opening heavily. "Fuck," she cursed, rubbing her eyes.
"Morning," I said, my throat dry. She gave me a thumbs up and a smile. "Party to hard last night?" I tried to make a joke, but I just had no energy to do so.
"Nnn, fuck off," she muttered, a laugh bubbling beneath her words. Abruptly and loudly, there was three heard knocks on our door.
"Be in the auditorium in ten minutes!" A female voice yelled and I started to panic. What if they found out? I am not going to jail, no, no, nope. No dumbass, that's why she called both of you. Even though she was a bitch, my subconscious corrected me graciously.
"What's that about?" I asked while sitting up and stretching my back. "It's a Saturday," I added confused. It was Saturday, which meant no classes and sleep. And here they were, interrupting that.
"Hell if I know," she groaned sitting up as well. I looked around to find something to just slip on and grabbed the nearest thing. Still on my bed, I slipped it over my head, getting a gulf of strong cologne. Shit, I never gave this back.
"Who's is that?" I heard Haley ask curiously. She must have never noticed me wearing it the other day.
"Um," I played with my hands, not sure of what to say. Don't lie and dig yourself in a whole. Okay, fine. "Martin's," I said, waiting for her reaction.
"Why do you have it?" she asked in a disgusted tone.
"I got cold one day in class and uh, he let me borrow it," I nodded to go along with the story. I highly doubt she would want to know the real story. That reminds me, she has never said anything about that one shirt.
"Ew," she shook her head and waved her tiny hands around. She pulled on her own jacket over her night gown. I decided to be like her and not change at all. I guess it is pajama day for us. We both quickly slipped on a pair of flip flops before leaving our room. I saw that literally everyone was leaving the building. What are they doing?
"What's going on?" I asked her as we made our way down the hall and down the set of stairs.
"No idea," she muttered. We made it outside into the shining and warm sun. I instantly felt more awake and refreshed. Without another word, we made our way to the auditorium and it was filled with everyone here. Once again, I found myself beside of Matthew only this time, he was half asleep.
"Wake up," I shook him and he jumped awake, glaring at me in the process.
"Go away," he muttered before closing his eyes again. I laughed at him looking around the crowded auditorium. Sitting there in his usual spot was Martin and his group. I honestly could not help but feel a sting of jealously seeing Karlie. I could tell she had just woken up but she looked presentable.
Suddenly, the lady in the office, Maria appeared on the small stage area. "You all should be ashamed of yourselves!" her loud voice was a shock to everyone and I noticed Matthew jumped in his seat, wide eyed. "We wanted to organize something special for you all and look at what you did!" Wait, what happened again? Or should I say, when I was gone?
"What did you all do?" I whispered to Matthew to the point of him barely hearing.
"I tell you later," instead of talking, he mouthed the words and I nodded, before turning my attention back to Maria.
"Not only are there almost fifteen-hundred dollars worth of damage you all did, but there was reports of drug possession!" at the moment, I felt my heart stop. Oh shit. "Do you think parents are going to send their kids to a camp that has a drug history!" she was yelling louder than anyone expected her to.
"Psh, and you're saying this after last year?" I heard somebody sitting behind of me scoff. I wanted to turn around and see who it was, but opposed the idea.
"We seriously expected more from you young adults! You all need to check yourselves and your behavior or there will be serious consequences!" she yelled that one last thing before leaving the stage. Everybody sat quiet for a moment, before a couple groups began to get up and leave. The signalled for everyone to do the same. I stayed put still in shock from her drug claims.
"Bye guys," I saw Matthew wave to the inseparable Haley and Cade. His blue eyes (still tired) then turned to me. I noticed almost everyone left, just leaving us two - again.
"So what exactly happened?" I turned to him, shoving my hands into the sweatshirt pocket. He sighed in what seemed to be exhaustion.
"Well, about forty five minutes after Martin stopped djing," he paused, searching for words. I was gone with him at this time then... "Somebody thought it would be funny to knock over the DJ setup and it ended up sparking and shit," he shrugged his shoulders lazily and my eyes went wide.
"Damn," I said, shaking my head. That and along with them locking them out, I would not doubt their anger.
"So, where did you go last night?" he asked, running a hand through his blonde hair.
"Um, my dorm. It wasn't really for me," I shook my head with a disgusted look on my face. Wow, I really think I am getting better at acting. He nodded before making a noise that resembled a 'oh'. Every time I looked into his eyes, I could not help but think about what Haley told me.
"That's nice," his fingers picked up the 'M' necklace from my neck. I glanced down at it, forgetting I had put it on. It was so light, it was hard to remember it was there.
"Thanks, my par- aunt and uncle sent it to me," I tried covering up my mistake smoothly. He gave me an odd look before letting go of it. I still couldn't believe that my father acted the way he did. It made me wonder if something was wrong at home between my parents. Then again, if it's true, I do not really care. It's their problem, not mine.
"It doesn't feel like we've been here for almost a month," he let out a deep exhale. Oh my god, it has been... damn, time goes by fast.
"That's crazy," I commented in disbelief. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"You just did," he sent me smirk and I hit his arm playfully.
"Shut up. I'm being serious," I realized how whiny I sounded. Ugh, I do not need to turn into Karlie.
"Okay, shoot," he nodded his head once.
"What did you mean by that you like that I have self respect?" I was curious to know his motives for saying that the first time he told me that. He furrowed his eyebrows, before turning more to face me in his seat.
"Isn't that kind of self-explanatory?" there was amusement to his deep voice. I looked down at my bare nails, picking at them slightly.
"Well, yeah, but I don't know," I sighed in defeat. Did he see me as just a preachers daughter who has followed the rules everyday up until just a few days ago? Or did he think I was attractive or something?
"I like how.. independent you are," he smiled and I raised an eyebrow at him.
"We barely know anything about each other besides our favorite color and pizza," I pointed out. Was I independent? I do not even know myself. He started to laugh and he then rolled his eyes.
"You're cute," he gave me a sarcastic smile. "Let's go, we look like losers," he stood up quickly, reaching out a hand for me to grab. I stared at it, not feeling like getting up again. I ignored his hand and stayed in the seat. I sunk lower into the seat and unexpectedly, I felt my body being picked up.
"What the hell are you doing?!" I shrieked, wrapping my arms around his neck so I could keep myself steady.
"Well, since your lazy ass won't get up, I'm carrying you," he explained in a mocking tone. Without arguing or fighting him, I kept my mouth shut as he made his way outside of the auditorium. Once again, the sun hit us but it felt even hotter than earlier.
"You can set me down now," I glared at him, a laugh emitting from his throat. He sat me down on my feet, his height immediately intimidating me.
"I guess I'll see you later," he smiled down at me, bring one to my own face.
"Okay," I waved at him as he walked away and back to wherever he was going. I looked around the fairly empty campus; the only resort I really have is going back to my dorm, something I think everyone did. My feet walked themselves across the campus and back towards my dorm building. For some reason, my mind thought about calling my parents again, mainly to see if my mom would pick up. I would much rather prefer to talk to her than to a pissed of father.
"Mads," I jumped at the low-toned voice. I looked around seeing no one. Am I going crazy? Apparently I wasn't because a hand grabbed my own, earning a loud gasp from me. I jerked away looking to a pair of green eyes.
"Can we talk?"
_______
A/N Hello everyone! I hope everyone's weekend has been going good and mine is going especially good because.... MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW! :D Yay me! We can all go clubbing. My treat. On another note, please comment and vote :D Make it seem like a birthday present to me haha <3
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BY THE WAY: DO CRAFTS, NOT DRUGS :D