S6E02:
CZ did what he could to keep in contact with the camp in trouble so they could be prepared when they moved in and became Newmerican citizens. Bailey was able to leave her shifts at the supply building, Katie – her friend that 10K had saved the day of the bombing – was going to cover for her and Bailey's time would be compensated with the trip since she wasn't exactly taking a vacation and was still contributing to the community. Once Doc had heard they were going he did the same thing claiming that since all his patients had at one point been in the same position as those in this camp they understood. They also weren't mentally unwell enough that they couldn't last without him for a few days and actually wished him good luck on the mission. In the end they packed up a jeep that Bailey and 10K drove down and Warren and Doc each drove one of the busses that Estes had once used to store the Talkers in during the election.
They drove for two days and stopped about halfway to upstate New York to check on their gas and call Citizen Z and see if there was any change in their target location. As 10K got out of the jeep to go talk to Doc and Warren Bailey's stomach growled, but not with hunger, and she took a few deep breaths hoping it would help settle it. Her stomach bug from election day still hadn't completely gone away but it did hit her every now and then. Tommy had wanted Red to check her over and even after Red had told them she found nothing wrong he'd still been a nervous wreck. She hadn't told him her nausea was still going on and she'd been doing a good job of hiding it from him so far. She took a few more deep breaths happy that it seemed to be passing but it did make her more nervous about how 10K would react if he found out she'd been ill this long and hadn't said anything to him. When he opened the door and got back in the jeep she gave him a small smile and asked how it went.
"Fine." He said buckling in, "Citizen Z said the camp's location hasn't changed but they are getting worried about the Z's so Warren wants us to push through the second half of the trip so we can get there as soon as we can."
"How are we looking on gas?"
"We should make it. We'll probably stop and stay the night with them, then we'll use the extra gas cans we brought and refill before heading back."
They were quiet for a bit while they drove with the two busses following them. Given the time of year the trees were pretty bare but as they got further south where it was a bit warmer Bailey noticed more of the trees had held onto their colorful leaves not ready to give into the winter chill yet. She knew soon enough the first frost would come and they'd drop their leaves for the season but for now she sat back and enjoyed watching it all pass by her window.
"I've missed this." She said softly after a while, readjusting her jean jacket to keep the cool autumn chill out. "All the traveling. Seeing new places of the country."
"Me too." Tommy agreed with a small smile, "I mean, Altura's great, it's safe and secure but. . . I've kind of missed living on our own. And with how fast Newmerica's filling up it just feels. . . "
"Crowded." She said knowing what he was talking about, then she chuckled, "After the outbreak and all the deserted towns we saw I never thought I'd describe anything as crowded again. Unless we were talking about zombies."
His smile widened and he glanced at her. "Maybe we'll have to go on a vacation sometime. Find a nice deserted town and camp out for a few days."
She laughed at the new post-apocalypse definition of a vacation and smiled at him, "That actually sounds really nice."
Then they both laughed a bit at how odd it sounded as they kept driving.
«»
It took them another day of driving before they found the camp by late afternoon and Warren immediately went to speak to the leader. The camp was maybe a good forty to fifty people, all smaller groups who had found each other on the way to Newmerica, consisting of people from as close as Maine to as far south as Florida. Thanks to constant communication with Citizen Z they had been expecting their team to arrive and almost instantly started breaking down their tents and packing their things. Bailey saw a few old looking trucks and a hummer that were off further back in the camp and guessed that those must be the broken down vehicles, though she suspected they weren't really broken just out of fuel. Doc helped Warren split the group into two so they knew they'd have enough room on the busses for everyone and their supplies. Meanwhile Bailey and 10K helped take down tents and hammocks and started loading them onto the busses, quickly filling the back seats.
Warren came over to them once they were nearly done and explained which tents were staying up for the night and how many people were going to sleep on the busses.
"10K this is Jack Eastwood, he's the leader of the original group here and had taken charge when the other groups started running into them along the road." Warren introduced them. Jack was an older man, probably in his late forties, he had a fair build on him and reminded her of Vasquez only with lighter hair. He was the former cop or military looking type.
"Nice to meet ya." Jack nodded before gesturing to a couple of people to his left, "This is Phil and Frankie. We've been traveling together since the start. I'm gonna assign each one to a bus so they can help make sure no one gets left behind."
As he spoke Bailey thought he looked pretty grouchy for someone who had just been rescued and got a free pass into Newmerica. But maybe that's just how he was, heck, Dante looked grouchy all the time too but he would have given his life to save people - technically he had before he turned Talker.
"Sounds good to me." 10K replied with a shrug.
Then Warren continued, "I need you to help Doc refuel the busses while I help Penny and Joe over there get their vehicles started. The more supplies we can haul the better."
10K nodded and kissed Bailey on the cheek before going to help Doc and Bailey returned to lugging bags into the busses. She wasn't the only one, several others were running back and forth as they loaded up their things. Bailey took it as a sign that these people were eager to get out of here and reach Altura where they could finally feel safe. Bailey was near Warren getting another duffel bag as the Chief finished with the last vehicle 's repairs when 10K returned. He told them he could volunteer for watch during the night and Warren seemed to appreciate his offer and said she'd let Jack know as she walked off. Bailey felt something off about 10K though and after Warren left she pulled him aside into some thicker trees to talk.
"Are you okay?" she asked noticing how his eyes only stayed on her for a moment before scanning the forest, before landing on her again then scanning the trees again. "You seem on edge."
"I just. . . have this weird feeling." He admitted.
"Like we're being watched?"
"No." he shook his head seeming like he was having trouble describing it himself, "It's more like. . . I dunno, like I've been here before."
Bailey looked around for a moment then turned back to him, "It's a forest Tommy." She pointed out, they'd camped in the woods several times before and she was confused how one forest could feel different to him when to her they all looked the same.
"I know, but I. . . I just can't shake this." He said looking at her again and biting his lip as she brought her hand to his arm and rubbed his sleeve trying to be reassuring. 10K's instincts were always good and his eyes never missed a threat but the fact that he didn't feel threatened by something lurking out there only made Bailey more confused and seemed to put 10K even more on edge. "It's like. . . like when we were following Warren on that Black Rainbow mission and we ended up back at Mercy Labs. Like that feeling of dread."
She nodded her head understanding, having been filled in on what he'd gotten up to while they'd been separated, as she kept rubbing his arm, "Try not to think about it." She tried advising, "You'll have plenty of time to mull it over while you're on watch tonight."
He nodded still looking over her shoulder at the trees behind her, "Yeah, let's just. . . " he scanned around them again, "go bunk in the jeep tonight."
"If it's paranoia Kid I can counsel you at a discount rate." Doc joked as he passed them having heard the tail end of their conversation.
10K chuckled, "I dunno if it's paranoia Doc."
"Well have you been smoking my Z-weed?"
"No." 10K replied rubbing his eyes, "But maybe I'm just sleep deprived."
"Oh isn't that nice to hear from a sniper with a loaded rifle." Doc joked again making both Bailey and 10K chuckle.
"Maybe you shouldn't take watch tonight." Bailey suggested, "Catch up on your sleep?"
"No, I want to help. And maybe the extra time to think will help me get my head on straight again."
Bailey nodded but wasn't fully convinced, if 10K felt something was wrong there were good chances he was right.
«»
The next morning Bailey helped take down the remaining tents while Doc and Warren passed out rations for breakfast. Doc gave her enough for both her and 10K telling her he hadn't seen him since they'd woken up that morning. She accepted the food before looking around for him but found she had the same problem as Doc, it looked like 10K had vanished. She wrapped the food in a bandana and put it in her backpack before searching the perimeter of the camp. He couldn't have gone far, he knew they'd be leaving soon, but as she circled back around and still saw no sign of him her worry began to grow.
"10K?" she called moving deeper into the trees. She didn't want to stray too far from the group on her own but she wanted to find Tommy more, so she headed out looking for him. She marked the trees with her knife as she walked so she'd be able to find her way back and so the others could find her if they needed to. She walked maybe a quarter mile before she could see a figure in black in the distance and she jogged a bit to catch up to him. When she did catch him he stopped but it wasn't because of her, he was looking straight ahead with an unreadable expression on his face. In front of them was a cabin, it was quaint Bailey thought, with a wraparound deck that you could see the nearby lake from, it had a second floor and windows big enough to let in the warm daylight. It didn't have any extravagant stonework or additions but its simplicity is what gave it its charm. 10K threw his gun over his shoulder by the strap and walked toward the house and moved up the front steps and tried the door but it was locked. Bailey got a bad feeling that someone might be living there but Tommy didn't seem to have that concern as he reached for an old potted plant by the stairs that had outgrown its pot. He moved the clay cylinder and found a spare key and unlocked the door.
Realization hit Bailey like a Zunami, the only way 10K would know where the house's spare key was. . . this was his house. She approached the cabin slower, not sure if Tommy would want her going inside or if this was too private of a place. He didn't say anything as she walked in behind him, he only mulled about the rooms like he was looking at them for the first time. In a way he was, she knew he hadn't been back here since living with his Pa, she knew everything would be different now, he was different now and she wasn't sure how being back in his childhood home would affect him.
She took the time to look around the cabin too, trying to get a feel for the Tommy who had grown up here. Each room's walls were covered in paneling and the furniture was simple and worn. There was a park ranger's jacket hanging on the coat hanger by the front door that she knew must have belonged to his Pa. There was a small side table in the living room that had photos in wooden frames of the family of three. Bailey's curiosity peaked and she had the urge to look at them but Tommy was in that room too. He looked deep in his thoughts as his hand ran over some shelving built into the wall and she saw several books on fishing and park rules and hunting guidelines above his head. She decided to leave him alone and instead went to the second floor to keep looking around.
There were three rooms on the second floor, an office, a master bedroom and another bedroom. That last bedroom clearly had been 10K's. It had a single bed with a simple dark green comforter on it, the bed was sloppy and unmade but his room was still over all pretty clean. He had a desk covered in fishing gear and above it was an old cork board with pictures pinned to it. To her surprise there were also blue ribbons and certificates from fishing competitions that he'd won. Some of the pictures even showed a young Tommy, maybe six or seven, holding the large fish he'd caught. His hair was that same dark tousled mess it was now and his smile was still the same, or maybe even brighter as he laughed in the sun.
"My Pa took that one." She heard and turned to see Tommy leaning in the doorway. He walked over to her slowly and she tried to read his expression but it looked like he was trying to keep a lot locked in and a lot blocked out. "That fish I caught out on the lake right here."
"I knew you liked to fish but I didn't know you were this good." She said keeping the topic light as she looked back at the blue ribbons.
He let out a small chuckle putting his hand in his pocket, "It was my mom's idea. She knew I had trouble making friends. She thought it might help."
"Is this her?" Bailey asked finding one picture where young Tommy was on the shore of the lake while a woman with dark hair and tan skin was holding a towel around him. His hair was wet and dripping in his eyes but both of them were smiling.
"Yeah." 10K said his eyes getting that faraway look again as he was sucked into his thoughts. "That was the summer before she got sick."
Bailey couldn't help but stare at the woman in the photo, "You look so much like her."
"I got her hair. . . and her smile. I have Pa's eyes, Pa's complexion. . . " he drifted off staring at the pictures.
"They'd be so proud of you Tommy." She said trying to give him some silver lining in all the negative feelings he must be drowning in right now.
"That's what Doc said." He told her, "But still it. . . I wish they were here to tell me themselves."
She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his torso, under his jacket, giving him a hug which he returned, burying his face into her shoulder. A moment later they heard the front door open as a familiar voice called out.
"Anybody home?"
"We'll be right down." Bailey called back recognizing Doc's voice as she and Tommy pulled out of their hug, her hands resting on his sides. "You want a minute?" she asked and he nodded. She left the room to meet Doc, on her way out she saw little marks along the frame of his bedroom door she hadn't noticed when she entered. They were marked 'Tommy age 4', 'Tommy age 5 ½', 'Tommy age 8' and so on. A small smile appeared on Bailey's face before she headed to the steps and found Doc and Warren in the living room.
"Hey, we've got the busses nearly all loaded up and ready to go. The jeep's out front waiting for us." Doc told her as Warren looked around.
"Who's house is this?" she asked, clearly wondering if they were breaking and entering and should be worried about a fight.
"Mine." They heard and 10K showed up at the top of the steps with Bailey before he leaned on the rail. Doc and Warren both exchanged a worried look, Warren knew from her own experience that it wasn't easy going back to your Pre-Z home and not having some kind of baggage to deal with.
"Well. . . " Doc trailed off looking around the room, "Nice house Kid."
His comment got a small chuckle out of 10K though Bailey could see it only partially brought him out of his grey-cloud mood.
Doc apparently could see it too so he went on. "Someone's gonna have to break it to Murphy that you actually didn't grow up in a cave. The news might just break his heart."
"What heart?" Warren joked and that got a chuckle out of all of them before she turned back to 10K, "You good baby boy?"
He nodded, "Yeah. . . I think I will be."
Bailey turned to him and whispered, "I'll be outside whenever you're ready." And he nodded back before she left. As she crossed the room and headed for the door Doc winked at her silently letting her know he'd watch 10K's back and make sure he was alright.
Bailey walked outside and circled the house before walking a bit closer to the lake where she was concealed by more trees. She crossed her arms and tried to think of how to comfort 10K. It felt like it'd be as difficult as it had been when he'd lost his hand and nothing seemed to cheer him up. Usually she had something she could relate to, some loss she could pull some helpful advice from, but now she had nothing. She could never imagine how much it would hurt to be back in her old neighborhood, at her old house. To see the street she learned to ride a bike on, to see the kitchen where her family would have taco nights, to see Addy's house right beside hers and remember all the slumber parties they'd had over the years. It was one of those things where your mind just conjured the memory and played it in front of you like a home movie and before you could stop it you were taunted with what might have been, with how good things were and had to remember just how much this world took from you.
She wondered what Tommy was seeing in his memories while he walked through that cabin. Had he stood on a chair in the kitchen and helped his mom skin and cook the fish his dad caught? Had he been sitting on the couch when his Pa went over gun safety preparing him for his first hunting trip? Had he sat on the deck watching sunsets and looking at stars? Had he stood where she was standing and fished from that very spot every day in the summer when he didn't have to go to school? As much as she wanted to ask him these things so she could paint a picture of what his life had been like, so she could feel that much closer to him, she knew it'd be selfish of her. Selfish to make him relive memories that were so painful and so raw right now.
She was pulled from her thoughts when her stomach grumbled again, she didn't have time to take a breath before it lurched and she ducked by the nearest tree and got sick all over its roots. She leaned on the trunk for support as every muscle in her body seemed to suddenly be aching from her episode. When it had finally stopped she started taking deep breaths wishing she had her toothbrush with her to help get the awful taste out of her mouth. She leaned her back against the tree still taking deep breaths hoping that would help her recover so she could get back to the others. She brushed her hair out of her face and tucked the strands behind her ear wishing she'd remembered a hair tie too.
"You said it stopped." Came 10K's voice and she turned seeing him standing a tree or two behind her. She immediately got the vibe that he was mad but he was also hurt and she hated that she'd put that combination of feelings in his eyes, "You said you were better."
"I –"
"Why would you lie to me about that?" he asked stepping closer to her.
"I didn't want you to worry." She told him honestly and she saw the anger go away but the hurt was still there.
"Why wouldn't you let me help you if you've been sick?" he asked leaning on the tree trunk looking at her.
"You would have been a nervous wreck." She said crossing her arms and leaning back on the bark.
"Am I not allowed to be?" he asked and she looked at her feet. "I shouldn't have let you come."
"10K I'm fine –"
"You've been getting sick since election day that's not normal." He argued and she couldn't deny the logic, "You should be back home getting rest so you can get better, not here in upstate New York."
She kept looking at her feet knowing he was right but at the same time she didn't want to be useless. She'd always been stubborn like this, her mother had even said she was the only kid she knew who still wanted to go to school even when she was sick.
"But it doesn't feel like I'm sick." She said finally turning to him, "After I. . . yack, I feel fine, I'm not tired or feel run down. I don't have a fever or chills, it's just. . . it doesn't feel like I'm sick."
"Will you please just promise me you'll go to the infirmary when we get back?" he asked knowing he couldn't really do anything else about it right now. "I really don't want to have to drag you there –"
"You wouldn't dare." She said hoping to call his bluff.
"Wouldn't I?" he asked and she knew by the hard look in his eyes that he was serious. If she didn't go see Red voluntarily he'd actually drag her there. She turned and looked back down at her feet.
"Red already said I was fine." She said grasping at straws.
"She said you were fine weeks ago when it first happened. I doubt she'll say you're fine when she finds out you've been getting sick this long." He said and they were both quiet for a long moment where she kept looking at her feet feeling his eyes burning into her, "Promise me."
She turned and looked at him and her heart clenched seeing so much concern in his gaze, she huffed, a bit upset she'd lost the argument and pouted, "Fine. When we get back I'll go straight to the infirmary."
She pushed off the tree and started making her way back to the cabin before he grabbed her arm making her stop. He pulled her side to his chest and brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "Love you."
She couldn't stop the small smile from turning the corners of her mouth up and she muttered back, "Love you too."
Then 10K let go and brought his hand to her chin and made her turn to him and started to lean in but she quickly brought her hands up and pushed him back. He looked hurt for a moment before she explained, "I just got sick, trust me you do not want to do that."
He got a small grin and looked relived that she wasn't upset with him before he dropped his hand and headed back with her. "I left my bag in the house, there's a water bottle in there you can have."
When they got back to the deck Doc and Warren were already outside.
"There you are. We were getting ready to send the Saint Bernard after you." Doc joked.
"We're about to head back to the busses." Warren said, "You guys good to follow us in the jeep?"
10K looked over at Bailey and she knew he'd feel better if she took a moment to rest after getting sick then he looked back over to Warren. "Yeah, you guys go on, we'll be a few minutes behind you."
«»
Bailey slowly sipped at the water bottle 10K had given her while he packed up the jeep. She couldn't stop herself from looking around the house and picking up his family photos. When he came back she was in the living room with the water bottle in one hand and a picture frame in the other. It was of Tommy and his parents, it looked like they'd been camping and someone else had taken the picture so they could all be in it. They were sitting in front of a campfire with a tent in the background while they roasted marshmallows. Little Tommy had one finger covered in melted chocolate in his mouth and more chocolate around his face as he ate a s'more.
"I'm happy my parents never took any embarrassing pictures of me." He said, clearly noticing how much attention she'd been giving the photos.
"Not everyone gets that lucky." She replied turning to him with a smile. "I remember whenever my brothers would bring a girl over to the house, even if they were just friends, my mom would take out those baby photos of them naked in the tub." They both laughed for a moment before calming down and Bailey gestured to the photo in her hands.
"We should take these with us." She suggested and she saw 10K's expression change like he was reluctant to. "Don't you want to?"
"I dunno." He said with a shrug, "It feels like, it's just part of the past and maybe we should leave it there."
"It's not the past." She responded gently, "It's what makes you who you are. How your parents raised you, what they taught you, all the memories are part of who you are."
He put his hand in his pocket and started to avoid eye contact with her so she tried something else, "Remember how we talked about the reminders that we don't like?" she asked and he looked back at her clearly remembering that conversation, "Well if it was me, I'd just. . want something of my family to hold onto."
He paused thinking over what she said before walking over to her and taking the frame from her hand. He looked at it for a moment before putting it on the table photo side down then using his only hand he started turning the small latches that kept the back on the frame and took the photo out tucking it away in the inside pocket of his jacket.
"You want me to go get those other ones?" she asked smiling.
10K blushed, "If you don't mind."
She leaned up and kissed his cheek before heading upstairs to get the pictures and some of the mementos from his cork board as he went through the other picture frames. As he was loading his bag he also stopped by the coat hanger near the door and looked at his Pa's old ranger jacket. He hesitated a minute before going over and taking it off the hook, he held it in his hand contemplating whether he should bring it. He brought it to his face and inhaled, it had one of those smells from your childhood that just nothing else could ever replicate. He held it for another long moment before going to his bag and stuffing it inside.