Landon's pov
This anger I felt wasn't me, it was gut wrenching, so filled with disgusting irritation. I didn't want to be feeling like this around her or for her to see it at all. Which is why I've been trying to stay away but, that obviously didn't work. I hate that I snapped at her for no reason. I hate that all of this sudden anger I'm feeling was clearly coming from somewhere and I didn't know what.
Being angry didn't feel like an option, I just was.
The only time I find solace is when she's touching me or when I'm in my wolf form. I looked up at her to see her eyes were shut but, somehow she still ran her hand sleepily against my back. It made me smile to myself and I reached up to brush some of her black locks out of her face. Her eyes fluttered open, those emeralds for eyes meeting mine.
"Hey, are you okay?" she questioned, sitting herself up more and I got up so she could move more freely.
"I'm okay." I stated, grabbing her hand in mine, "Because of you." I brought it to my lips to lay a kiss before turning it over to her wrist.
Her scars reminding me just how strong she is, I laid a kiss to them as well, "Do you want to talk about it now?" I went to grab her other wrist while softly shaking my head no.
"Not yet." I kissed the skin where her other scars were gently, then I went to lift her shirt up.
I leaned down, laying a kiss against her belly, she laughed a little, "Okay." My eyes drifted up to hers, "I'm ready to listen though whenever you do want to talk about it." she said softly with understanding in her tone.
A smile made it's way onto my face, she was so amazing.
•••
The next day I couldn't stop thinking about how I lashed out on her and I still felt incredibly bad. She's told me several times that it was okay but, I hated it. I hated that I felt this way, I don't want to feel this way. The irritation I felt in my gut was getting worse, now I was getting these migraines and images of the place I was when I died. I think that, that's the reason I feel so angry because, with those images comes the feeling of being alone without Layla.
That alone has me so angry, angry that I don't have her, that she's not with me. But, I have to remind myself that I'm not there anymore and that Layla is here with me.
"Landon." I looked up at the sound of her soft voice bringing me from my loud thoughts.
She had a smile on her face, "Hi love." I stood up from the couch to approach her but, that irritating feeling was bubbling up inside me.
So I took a step back, she looked confused, "Are you okay?" she asked, "Is this about what happened the other day, I wish you would just talk to me maybe I can help." she explained, still walking over to me but, I held my hand out and she stopped.
'I want mate.' Jake whimpered inside and all he wanted was Layla but, I didn't trust this random spur of anger I felt.
"Landon." she spoke softly, her eyes catching mine and I broke.
"Ever since I came back all I feel is angry all the time and I can't control it." I stated, looking at the wooden floor.
"Landon, I'm sorry." she coaxed with meaning in her words.
"You weren't there." I looked up at her, feeling that lividness about not having her deep within me, "You weren't there with me!" I stated more harshly than I meant, it just fell from my lips, "Wherever I was, you weren't there." Images of how lonely I felt we're hitting me like a brick in the face.
She looked troubled, "I'm sorry, but, I swear to you I was with you the whole time right next to you." I could feel how sad this was making her and she caught my eyes with her somber ones, "I was with you even though you couldn't see me and I was with you even when I thought that you had left me." her eyes were brimmed with tears.
Hearing her words and the way she looked so sad broke through the cloud of enragement that was hovering over me. Her words somehow made me feel better. It gave me a new image, one where she was with me and she was there, I just couldn't see her. Now all I wanted was to touch her and hold her because, she was here with me. And I hope that that will keep this anger at bay.
Jake pushed me to go to her, to wrap her in my arms and never let go. He felt completely relaxed now and I felt completely content. She clutched my shirt in her hand and the one small action made me smile. I pulled away to cup her face, looking into her glossed over green eyes.
"I'm sorry." she whispered, "I didn't know you were feeling this way." I shook my head and leaned down to kiss her lips.
Before I did I whispered against them, "It's not your fault."
When our lips touched, it felt like such a huge weight was lifted from my heart and my soul. I dropped my hand to her back to pull her into me more until our fronts were pressed together. And I deepened the long kiss against her soft lips. Pushing my hand through her hair and once again pulling her against me. She laughed into the kiss which made me smile upon hearing the beautiful sound.
"Am I not close enough?" she smiled up at me and I could feel her hands playing with my hair at the back of my head.
She was so beautiful, "You could never be too close." I tugged her to me and pressed my lips to hers.
Her laugh filled my ears as I kissed into it, the sparks I was feeling while touching her were so insane right now. I loved it, I loved how it made me feel and I'm sure it made her feel the same way. Jake was very eager to mate with her again and again but, I was satisfied just kissing her. Kissing her and looking into her fucking incredible eyes that I love. She pulled away and we stared at one another for a couple seconds.
Only to admire every feature on one another's face. I ran my eyes along every trait. Her cheeks were tinted red and her orbs had a certain spark to them. Those pink lips of hers were swollen red from my kiss. And I ran my thumb over her bottom lip slowly before ultimately giving into Jake urging me to kiss her. This time it was more rough, it was filled with lust and love making it such a passionate kiss.
I was lost in everything that was Layla.
•••
"How did that go?" I questioned.
Layla went to see Jacob and Genevieve today to talk about her having our pup. I would have went but, I felt that gross furious feeling in my gut, preventing me from going. I wish that I could have went but, it is what it was.
"Genevieve is so happy for us and Jacob is almost as excited as Dawn." she explained with a faint smile on her face as I drew circles on her stomach.
"That's good, will have to go to my moms tomorrow, yeah?" I asked.
She nodded her head, "Of course." I placed a gentle kiss against her skin, below her belly button.
"And were going to need to hold a ceremony to tell the pack officially about him." I smiled at the pronoun.
For some reason I felt like it was a boy, "He?" she questioned.
"Yes, I'm betting it's a boy, who else is going to take over the alpha position?" I asked.
She frowned, "Our daughter." she glanced down at her belly, "If it's a girl."
I smiled, "Of course she will, she'll be just like her mom." she met my eyes with a smile, "Brave and beautiful."
"And I'm sure he'll be just like you." she smiled and her words made me long to just meet them, "Strong and cunning."
Whether their a girl or a boy, I'll love them all the same and treat them all the same, "So Christmas is coming up, what do you want?" I questioned, once comfortable silence came upon us.
I was hoping to get some intel when I knew fully well what I was getting her, "Just you." she answered, then shook her head, "Wait that was too cheesy." I smiled and laughed as I continued to run my fingers along her belly.
It brought me immense comfort to be this close to our pup, "Maybe a little." I looked up at her, "But all I want is you too." I winked at her and she covered her face with her hands.
'Our mate is so cute.' Jake cooed at the one person who had us completely wrapped around her finger and she probably didn't even know just how much.
She moved around a bit on the bed and I picked myself up from her stomach, pulling her shirt down to cover her exposed skin. Then I moved myself to lay next to her, facing her and just taking in her scent that surrounded me. She turned so she was facing me and her eyes scanned my face.
"I love you, Landon." she said softly, her eyes were drooping and I placed my hand against the side of her face, pushing her hair away from it.
"I love you more than you'll ever know Layla." she smiled and her eyes completely shut indicating she probably fell asleep.
I guess that it was pretty late, I drifted my hand down to her stomach. Lightly running the tips of my fingers against it.
"And I love you." I whispered to my pup with a smile before drifting my eyes up to Layla's peaceful sleeping face.
My baby was having our baby and I couldn't think of anything I could want more.
~~~
Hey everyone, I know that it's been forever but, this will be the last chapter for now. Until I have completed the book then I will be posting the rest of the chapters regularly. Just so it won't be as long as a wait as it was now and I'm so sorry for making all of you wait. I hate that I did that but, I've just been so busy and I still have another book that I'm probably going to put on hold. Until I finish this one, and I also have school and mental health to obtain.
But, I know what the last chapters are going to be and I already have them set in motion. So it won't be forever that you'll have to wait for the next chapters. And I just want to thank you all for still being here with me on this journey with Layla and Landon.
How did this chapter make you feel? Favorite scene?
Do you think that Landon's spurs of anger are gone now or just beginning?
What gender do you think the pup is?
I love and appreciate each and every one of you, I hope you're all staying safe. Have a good day/afternoon/night <3