Since I have met you!

33. Josh

Everything went so fast. First Dean shouted that she was here. Then I saw her in that sexy red dress, which every man was looking at and suddenly I thought I was in a romantic movie. However, I should have embraced her in my arms, kissed her with lust with the same intensity as I had in the bar. But then suddenly out of nowhere Sandra ran to me and destroyed everything.

Her lips were on mine which I found disgusting. I pushed her away as fast as possible, but College Girl was already gone. I ran after her and screamed: "Stop. Listen. It is not, how it seems to be.", but as I almost reached her, the boy who danced with her from the bar, stopped me. "Let her go.", he said. "No. I want her. I need her. Let me through.", I said furiously.

"No, you broke her."

"I didn't. I couldn't. I love her.", I screamed, tears rolling down my eyes. My heart ached, while my pulse was on full speed. No. No. No that couldn't happen. Not this way. "She needs time.", a girl said, standing next to the guy.

"No, that's not true. She needs me.", I cried. I tried to push both of them away but then two other people took my arms and dragged me away. I tried to get out, but it was useless. It was Dean and Nick. Nick was the first one, who started to push me against the wall. "You know that this was her. You know that I liked her.", he said, hitting me in my face. "

You don't love her like I do.", I said for another time. Now it's out, I was deeply, insanely in love with her. And now I wanted her back. I would scream it out of my lungs, as loud if I could, if it would mean that she would come back.

"No, you broke her and now nobody gets her. I hope you are satisfied. Because I am furious at you. I want to never see you again.", with a last bump into my stomach, Nick went away. I tried to stand up and fight against the pain to maybe catch College Girl outside. But now Dean was stopping me. I growled at him. "No listen. Give her time. If you do something now, you even hurt her more than you intended to." "Are you now on Nicks side?", I asked.

"No, I am not on Nicks side, but I am not on yours either. You had the chance a thousand times to tell her how you feel. Now after you know that you lost her you can say the L- word. Shame on you Josh. I thought you were more mature and had enough ego and self-confident to do that. Bye Josh. Hope you are happy because you have now everyone against you.", Dean said before he as well turned around and walked away. Shit what have I done. I hurt her, my best friends, also my mother heard all of that and the only one who still was into me was Sandra. SANDRA!

"You did that.", I confronted her. "Yes, but she tried to steal you away. It was the same as we were in elementary school. She was such a bitch.", she said. Now I got furious. Nobody calls my Girl a bitch. "Don't you ever dare to talk about her like that. She is the best person who happened to me." "Joshi now you are insane. I am the best."

"You were never the one I wanted.", I snapped at her and ran out. Most of the people were still looking at me, shaking their head in disappointment or couldn't look me in the eye anymore. I felt like the biggest idiot in the whole world. I had hurt the love of my life and I think that I had worsen it even more this time. That she is now further away from me than she ever was. I hoped more than I ever had that fate will give me one last chance, one last opportunity to meet her again and make things right. But as the hours went by and not even my mother nor Dean phoned me, I noticed that maybe, I messed everything up. That I could only ask myself will I ever meet her again? Will I ever make clear the whole situation up? Right now, as I was sitting at home, I felt lonely. More than I ever had. I needed Dean. His advises. He probably had a plan to win her back, but I hadn't. The only sentence which was flying in my head around like a tornado was the one I also hated the most to admit. 'I am sorry.' However, I don't believe that College girl would forgive me. This night I could see her broken heart, which had been shattered into thousand of pieces only because I was the fool. I made her cry. Now she was sad and I caused it. I hurt her. 

Every single time, as I tried to close my eyes to finally get some sleep, her face was visible. Her sad expression. These eyes pierced through my heart, making me more and more miserable. I felt like the most cruel monster on the world. I thought she could have like me. And she probably did, although I screwed it up often. But this time was different. As Sandra kissed me, she was forced to watch it with a lot of audience. I can imagine that it was an embarrassing scenery, especially for her. Before, I could finally closed my eyes and let the knifes in my heart pushing deeper and deeper where it hurt the most, my biggest wish was that some day College girl could forgive me for the mistakes I made. That she could forgive me for the selfish and arrogant person I was. That I  cared more what my mother and surroundings would think of me instead of following my heart and reaching out for the girl, I had met on the college information day.