Since I have met you!

7. Josh

I really don't get what changed me. I mean from one moment to another I was that cool and good-looking man who was absolute not thinking about anyone. The next was a complete disaster because of such a not in any way spectacular girl from two weeks ago.

At first, I thought it was just a phrase. That maybe I couldn't forget her because I liked her way of style. Which looks others as others. Then thought about the fact that she had such as I a deeper mind. On the other hand, it is just ridiculous to believe such shit because nobody can feel something like that. It just had to look like it because of her mood and look alike.

However, there were bigger problems to think about her the whole day. It happened to me that it seemed to be more obvious as I wanted to admit first. More mistakes happened then before I had a girl none stop in my mind which made me go crazy and not being receptive anymore. She destroyed everything in myself that I became a total mess.

It started after a few days when I had met her. I just thought about the fact that she ran off so fast without telling me her name or even let her number there.

While thinking I was entering the school what caused quite a show because I didn't recognise early enough that the glass door from the front entry was closed and bumped straight into it. A loud sound appeared. My nose hurt like hell. I cursed loud enough that other students turned around. Some were stunned over my purely dumbness and others were just laughing off their butt.

It got even worst for me because Dean didn't let that mistake of me slight and second my nose began to bleed because the glass door was not that soft. The rest of the day Dean made jokes of me. And they all had this girl in it. Not helpful either while I wanted to forget her. And my mom found out as I got home that my nose was bleeding. She was furious and thought at first I got into a fight. But my simplest explanation to not mention on first-hand the girl, which could have made it much worse, and second of all of this drama to cover my mistake with the door. Which I also found more than embarrassing for an eighteen year old boy, whose only fault was that he was thinking.

The following days didn't get better. It got more and more dramatic. If the students began to think that I was stupid, it would have been not the best but not the worst in my life. But the teachers whose seen my stumbles and my running against things which are more than visible made some of them more curious.

My math teacher was just laughing his stupid ass of as I tripped another time over the dustbin. However, my English teacher asked me if I needed perhaps a pair of glasses. And Dean just told all the boys in class about my girl-problem. His excuse was that it seemed quite obvious that something wasn't normal and so he decided it would be for the best.

From now on the boys were around me all the time and tried to prevent me from falling and falling again and again. Anyhow with this helpful service there came a more shameful way with it. They started to ask questions about her and built a whole story about "us", which was in my eyes to much. And along with it they laughed and made a thousand jokes per day which I had to swallow if I didn't want to generate buzz.

Dean pocking me in my right arm because I was for another time absent in class. "What?", I whispered. "The teacher asked you if you know the inverse of the matrix. It's 5, -2, -7 and 3. You can thank me later by the way.", he smiled with me. I answered the question and at least tried to listen for the rest of the hour. My whole mind was stuck up with one theme: her. I didn't have seen her for two weeks and it felt like a lifetime. I couldn't help it.

"You're totally addicted to her, man.", one of the boys stated out. Perhaps I really was but I couldn't admit that. I am the cool one who never got involved with feelings and especially a girl. That's not my way. That's not me.

"No." "Yes, it clearly looks like it, dude." Dean wasn't right about it. "Just a time period. Next week I will be back to myself."

"You mean you will be a douche again." All boys who were sitting around me began to laugh. I, instead was just pissed of again. I hated my state which I was in right now. They were right. I wasn't myself. But I would do from now on everything to be back. At that moment as we exited the school, Dean suddenly said:" Hey Josh. There is a girl. She looks like yours." All boys turned around and wanted to see the mysterious witch, who has laid a spell on my which one made me dumber than before. Where?! Where?! Which one?! Screamed all the boys with me. I turned as fast as my cells in my body could process that there she had to be and that I needed to see her again to be my normal self hopefully again. While staring in the direction where she should be, I was still walking in the other one and oversaw the streetlamp and bumped for another time into something.

I fell to the ground and my head hurt and I saw a few stars. Besides, as the boys registered that I had fallen they tried to lift me up and I felt dizzier than before. "Have you seen her? Was it really her?", I asked elated. "I think so. The brown hair with red looked similar to her.", claimed Dean. "She is searching for you." "But how is she knowing where to search?" "Therefore, she just left. Why" "Maybe she hasn't seen him." "We have to hold her." Somebody has to ran after her." They all shouted this and that. I had to stop it, even if I was still irritated and not feeling well. "Guys. Please stop! I want to forget her. Okay? Nobody will ever run after her or talking to her. Am I clear? No girl will ever get access to my heart. As of today, all of that girly like will stop. I will be my normal self." I confirmed more to myself than him but at the end they all nodded and agreed.

The only problem was as I got home. I had told my mother the last lie that this red and bloody bruise was nothing to worry about.

"It was just as I got out of the car. Nothing special mom.", I tried to convince her. She looked firstly not pleased with this whitewash. "It won't happen anymore. I promise." After that her concern fell off her face and she seemed to relax. In her way.

"Hope so. Either you will stop to get so much bruises or you won't have no more shooting. And you know that would be bad for your model career, right?" I nodded that I was aware of my situation. After that argument with her, I caught the dog lead and wanted to go for a walk with my dog.

I walked to the next parc to let him free and sat on the next bench to think about the last time about the girl before I shut her out of my mind. Of my world. Of my life. I just couldn't afford another distraction right now. So how sadly that might fell, I had to let her go.