Gym Buddies

pt. 38 - Goodbyes That Weren't Supposed to Be

[a/n: I literally did not edit this chapter at all-I'm so freaking tired]

Kenma arrived about ten minutes later, and (y/n) and I got into the backseat. I continued to grasp her hand and stroke the back of it with my thumb.

[(y/n)'s POV]

Stop crying. You've been preparing for this for almost three years. Just... stop crying.

Lee held me as close as he could on the way to wherever were going.

"Mom is meeting us at the hospital," Kenma informed. I buried my face in Lee's sleeve as I cried even harder.

That was the only thing Kenma said the entire 30 minute trip there.

I had finally stopped sobbing, and collected myself by the time we got there. I know dad wouldn't want me to be sad. He never wanted that.

It was raining outside, of course it was. I normally like the rain, but now, the negative connotations had finally set in. Rain is sad and dark and ruins everything.

We made it all the way to his room, where he was sitting up and laughing, acting like everything was okay. That he wasn't going to die in the next few days.

"D-dad?"

He turned his head to look at me and grinned, then opened his arms to me.

"Hey princess!" he greeted while he hugged me, pulling me on to the bed with him.

"(f/n)-" Mom started. Dad was too good at pretending.

"Where are my other kids? Suki, Kenma, and Lee. Where are they?" ...Lee too? "If I'm going to die in a little bit, I'd like everyone around to spend my time with. I've only got a few organs left until I'm unconscious.  So?"

Kenma and Suki came in a second later. Suki went with mom and had been in the bathroom.

"Truthfully, I wish that my grandkids were here too, but it's all good."

"Dad, why are you... acting so happy?"

"Because I am happy. I don't care too much. I think with the way my kids turned out, I was a good father, and (m/n), I was a good husband, right?"

"You're a wonderful husband."

"Then I am happy. I did what I needed to do, and everyone is alright. I suppose I'm a little sad, but only because you guys are sad-" dad let out a particularly uncomfortable sounding cough into his hand, then quickly wiped the blood on a napkin. "-But I think I'm okay. Just... tired. I see three of my kids, but where's Lee?"

"You consider him your son?"

"Yes I do, (y/n). My only regret is not getting to walk you down the isle on your wedding day."

"...dad.." tears started dripping from my face, though he quickly wiped them away.

"Don't cry, sweetie. I love you very much and just want you to have a good life. So be sad for a moment, but... just... live." Mom motioned for Lee to come in and stand beside Kenma and Suki.

Dad started leaning back, having me lay next to him. He had Suki come lay with him too. He offered Kenma, but, even though dad was literally on his deathbed, he wasn't comfortable with laying with us. Mom didn't come either, knowing it would only hurt her more.  Instead, Lee offered his shoulder to Kenma and Mom.

I turned my focus back to dad, who had his eyes closed.

"I'm about to die. I know that. There is no hope for life, other than yours." I had my head on his shoulder. "I love you all. (M/n), thank you for being... the best woman and wife and mother to me and our kids. (Y/n), thank you for growing up happy and helping your mother, as the oldest, I know we were strict and we used you to raise Kenma and Suki, so thanks for being so gracious and willing to help. Kenma, you are a great son, and I hope I never made you think that I didn't love you enough. I probably could have been there for you more, I'll admit to that. I could have been a lot more accepting of who you are, and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter, because you're still my Son, and I love you very much for that. Suki, my youngest. I want you to know how proud I am of you. I know with all that's happened in the past few years, life has been rough. this goes for you too, (y/n). But the responsibility you've taken on is a big one for your age. It's going to be hard, and probably get worse, and be a bumpy ride, but I fully believe in you.

"Lee. you'll probably be my first son-in-law, and I want to thank you so much for being so amazing. For keeping my (y/n) safe and happy and I know she feels loved. I appreciate you and your son. It's reliving to know my family has a support beam like you. So thank you and welcome... to the family."

"Thank you, sir, for the opportunity," Lee replied.

"Thanks, dad for loving me. I know it might have been sorta weird for you at first, but you always did well to let me know you loved me," Kenma said in return.

"You're a great father, dad. Thank you for believing in me." Suki curled up in dad's arm and shoulder.

"I never felt anything but love and concern for me from you dad. I'd do anything for you to stay longer, but I know thats not possible. I love you so much, you'll always be with me, and I know that," I spoke softly, holding his hand as we laid there.

Mom didn't say a word, just stood there. It didn't matter though. Dad already knew. She never planned on finding someone new, but she wouldn't give too far into sadness.

"(M/n)... I know you said you weren't going to try and... fall in love again, but if someone comes along and makes you as happy as I did, it wouldn't feel like you're betraying me. I want you to be happy, in fact, that's all I want. So if finding someone new-"

"Okay, (F/n). Just don't... waste your breath on me."

"I'm not. I don't have much else to say, I wanted you to know that. I love you, (m/n). Don't forget."

"I couldn't ever. I love you too."

The room went silent for a while, Kenma, mom, and Lee all pulling up chairs, waiting for the inevitable end.

Dad, Suki and I all laid together on his bed by his request, but there was more I wanted to say.

"Hey dad?" I whispered. He hummed in response, waiting for me to go on. "...Lee and I are planning on having a baby. We're not so sure how far into the future, but we know we want at least one more."

"That's wonderful, princess. I'm glad to know that." he turned his head to kiss my forehead.

After another two hours, Kenma stepped outside the room, same with Suki and Lee, leaving mom, dad, and I alone.

"I'm not... living to Friday. I can feel my insides collapsing. If I took a guess at this rate, I've got about ten minutes until my heart stops working. I can't really feel my limbs anymore, I feel lucky to be able to talk. Thank you for staying with me."

I didn't think my heart could shatter anymore. I stood and held his already limp hand.

"This wasn't supposed to be for at least a few months. I'm just glad everyone was here." The room felt almost stale. This was really it, wasn't it?

Mom and I stood there next to him. There weren't anymore words that could be said, so until the heart monitor would flatline, we would stand there and wait.