Gym Buddies

pt. 39 - An Ending and Beginning

[uh- rock tree]

There was no room for air.

Lee called my name, he called me Lotus, but I couldn't say anything. The tears began to pour from my eyes.

It hurts.

My chest hurts.

My head hurts.

He said my name again from outside the room, but I couldn't hear him over the sound of the heart monitor's steady stream of sound.

He said four months, at the earliest. It's been less than two.

My mom was trying to talk to me too. But I had no words. What was I supposed to say?

"(Y/n)," I started walking away on my crutches from the room to go to the hospital hall where Lee was. I didn't even spare him a glance. "Nope. (Y/n)," he said softly, and grabbed my wrist. I stopped moving, and dropped my crutches. I didn't have the strength to pull away from his grasp.

"H-hes g-gone," I cried, still looking away as tears dripped from my face. I was standing in a puddle of my own tears, and I had no way to move.

Lee brought me close to him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as I stood there. I closed my eyes and just rested my head on his shoulder while I cried. A minute or two later my mom came out too, I could hear her walking. Lee invited her into the embrace, so she and I were wrapped up in his arms. He held us as as long as we needed him to.

Mom was the first to let go.

She was always the first to let go.

I looked up at Lee, who kissed my forehead and nodded. "I'll see you at home," she started to leave with Suki and Kenma. I grabbed her hand and held her face to wipe away the last few tears.

"Love you, mom."

"Love you too. See you in a bit," she agreed and I let her go, assuming Kenma gave Lee the keys to drive us home since he was going with mom.

Lee pulled me back to him to wipe my face. I sat down at the bench opposite to my father's room, where he was being rolled away on the bed. He had lost too early. Lee sat next to me and reached over to pull my face closer to his.

"I am sorry," he whispered, and once again, kissed my forehead. "I did not think this would happen so soon."

"No one did, Lee," I whined, pushing my face into his shoulder and letting him wrap his arms around me, holding me in a warm embrace.

"Should we leave now? I cannot imagine you like being here."

"Yeah, let's go," before I could stand, Lee had scooped me off the seat, bridal style. "If you're going to hold me, do it like..." I put my arms around his shoulders, and wrapped my legs around his waist. He kept an arm firmly around my torso, the other under me. "like that."

"Okay, okay. Like that," he repeated. I closed my eyes again as we walked, not caring if I looked like a child. I could have walked myself on my crutches, but right now, I don't have the energy to protest. "Hey, Lotus," he called quietly. "I love you, I promise I will not let you be alone, okay? So do not even worry about it," he squeezed me slightly tighter. I grunted in response, knowing he wouldn't go anywhere.

He got us all the way to the car, and put me in the passengers seat so he could drive us to my mom's place, about a half hour away.

Time stopped momentarily when he started the car. Reality hit, dad is gone. He's dead. He doesn't exist anymore.

Lee could see I was in a daze, so he pulled me out by grabbing my hand. I didn't expect the contact, so I flinched and slapped his hand away.

"S-sorry," he mumbled. I instantly regretted hitting him and spoke up. I'm such an awful partner... why would I do that to him?

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I'm just on edge, and really stressed, and I zoned out... I wasn't expecting that, I'm sorry i- I'm just sorry, I didn't mean to hit you, I'm so sorry-" I blubbered on an apology until he stopped me.

"Lotus, it is really okay. I should have asked first. Please do not be sorry, it did not even hurt!" He clarified. "I know you are probably in a lot of pain right now, I just wanted you to know I was there," he held his hand out to me, so instead I would take it. "nothing more. I did not mean to startle you."

I let out a deep breath and interlocked our fingers together. "I don't deserve such an amazing boyfriend."

"You deserve the whole world, (y/n)."

~

Suki and Kenma were already home, along with mom.

We walked through the door, where the air was cold and silent.

This isn't fair.

But it seemed at the moment, because of how unbelievably quiet and anxious Kenma is, Lee became the "man of the house." Everyone stayed around him. My mom, sister, and brother all just accepted him as the comfort they all needed. I was happy to share.

The night came to a close with me laying on his chest on the couch, my mom on his shoulder, Suki on the other, and Kenma with his head on Lee's leg. We had been watching a movie, but no one was really paying attention. Lee just sat there and did his best to comfort everyone. He had only known my family for less than two months and he was already so accepted that he wasn't just part of the family, he was the family itself.

"I think they're all asleep," I sighed.

"Maybe. But I cannot move."

"I know. I was just pointing it out. How are you feeling?"

"I guess... I am... how do I put it? I am really, really sad, but also relieved that I am accepted enough that this is happening."

"He liked you. My dad. He thought you were cool... and a good guy. Since I assume we'll be together forever, I... I'll count myself lucky."

"...(y/n)."

"Yeah?"

"Let's get married - I am proposing right now. Will you marry me?"

I smiled through the pain, and even gave him a small laugh. "Yes. I'll marry you. But why ask now?"

"It felt right. Your family is around, it is quiet. I have a ring back home. I was going to ask on the next date we went on, I just felt better about doing it now... Actually I was going to wait longer than that, all the way until you were- well- happy, I guess."

"I'm only going to be sad for so long. My dad was suffering. I'm glad he's gone, if it means he's not in pain anymore."

"Oh."

I took a deep breath and kissed his cheek, then laid my head back on his chest. "I love you."

"I love you too. Get some sleep. You know I am not moving." With his instruction, I pressed my ear to his chest, calming me with his heartbeat and gentle breaths.